So....they trying to say they don't believe in Santa, just because he travels 2,294 miles per second, carries 321,300 tons, visits 1800 houses every second, and can only spend 0.0005 second in each house? I don't get it - - what's their point??

My mother told me he uses a TARDIS.

/seriously, that was my mother's explanation when I asked as a child
//it actually does make sense when you think about it

So based on the fact that each Christmas, Santa is killing reindeer using air resistance, can we lock Santa up and put an end to Christmas (and therefore Christmas music) once and for all?

Santa = 0


/he's fake

Yes, Virginia there is a Santa...and he is MAGICAL!

Jeeze.... magic trumps physics everyday

Don't you guys know that?

/I was a good boy.
//Santa brought me gifts.
///Therefore Santa is.
////Slashies logic!

At ~2300 miles per second, Santa would actually "gain" an additional 0.015% of time to work with due to the time dilation afforded by special relativity. This means that Santa can deliver (like the guy from China Palace to my Jewish doorstep later) to an extra 30,344 homes... which is why sometimes even a few lucky kids from the Naughty List get gifts on Christmas?

/based on the numbers provided
//obviously a busy morning for me...

In case anyone was not sure, this video is pretty much a dramatic reading of the Spy article.

/Not to say it's not good.
//Your burden to decide.
///In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
////What do you know, Spy is right.
//Slashies!

macross87: Santa = 0


/he's fake

Actually, Santa = √ -1

Wow, this article was so refreshingly novel. No one before has ever thought to mathematically describe Santa's travels around the globe.

Santa = Jamie Madrox

Santa is a hive-mind collective organism, that's how he's able to be in multiple places at once.

you see I read this as

The science behind Santa's visits. Yes .... there's meth - lots of it

damn you math, damn you to hell

I thought this video would be about either the Traveling Salesman problem or the Konigsberg Bridge problem -- either of which, on the scale of millions of children's homes, would fry any computer trying to solve it.

Also, the video doesn't address what Santa does with apartment buildings, which don't generally have fireplaces. Does he shrink himself down and come in through the heating vents? Or does he phase in through the fire escape window?

Arkanaut: I thought this video would be about either the Traveling Salesman problem or the Konigsberg Bridge problem -- either of which, on the scale of millions of children's homes, would fry any computer trying to solve it.

Also, the video doesn't address what Santa does with apartment buildings, which don't generally have fireplaces. Does he shrink himself down and come in through the heating vents? Or does he phase in through the fire escape window?

He moves in mysterious ways?

Reading the video description just made me miss Spy magazine. If Fark had been around back then, it would've been the official magazine of Fark.

Jesus: Santa.
Santa: Yes?
Jesus: I'm sad.
Santa: Why are you sad? It's Christmas right? It's your birthday!
Jesus: Yeah. That's the point
Santa: Why?
Jesus: Because whenever its Christmas the kids only wait for you and not me! They only celebrate Christmas because of you! Why Santa, why not Jesus?
Santa: I'll tell you what you spoiled little shiat, you can earn billions of dollars as a non profit, find out what every child in the world wants, get it from distributors, pack it, wrap it, and then deliver it at relativistic speeds, and then you can cry on Christmas day when your wife won't even look at you because you snapped at her after running out of Zhu Zhu pets. You grock me?

The science behind Santa.......

1.) It's not real
2.) It is impossible

There is really no need to go beyond that.

I thought the documentary "Arthur Christmas" explained this quite well. It's all handled by a guy named Steve with a big spaceship and (presumably) an MBA.

I remember wondering why my parents needed Santa Claus to race around the world in a flying reindeer sleigh to put the presents from them to me beneath the tree. I think that was when I stopped believing ...