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(Some Guy)   And... HE'S OFF (exclamation point) Merry Christmas, Santa Trackers   (noradsanta.org) divider line 50
    More: Followup, exclamation points, NORAD  
•       •       •

3530 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Dec 2011 at 12:00 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-12-24 09:11:46 AM  
Looks like they've improved the videos for this year.
 
2011-12-24 12:06:34 PM  
I can see how lying to your kids might be fun, but why spend taxpayer money to do it?
 
2011-12-24 12:07:45 PM  
It's privately sponsored, and the Air Force workers are volunteers.
 
2011-12-24 12:07:55 PM  
I am almost 40 and my kids have long since passed the age of belief, but I just love this thing. Merry Christmas, farkers.
 
2011-12-24 12:08:39 PM  
He knows when you are sleeping.
He knows when you're on the can.
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass
From here to Pakistan!
Oh... you better not breathe,
You better not move.
You're better off dead,
I'm tellin' you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!
 
2011-12-24 12:09:24 PM  
Santa Tracker is such BS
 
2011-12-24 12:12:44 PM  

Poopy MacPoop: I can see how lying to your kids might be fun, but why spend taxpayer money to do it?


Oh for fark's sake.
 
2011-12-24 12:12:54 PM  

Vidwiz: Santa Tracker is such BS


Yeah... totally fake.

/I can tell by the pixels.
 
2011-12-24 12:12:58 PM  

ruinevil: It's privately sponsored, and the Air Force workers are volunteers.


You caught me. I just hate Christmas.
 
2011-12-24 12:12:58 PM  
I've been to Jakarta...not even santa would go there
 
2011-12-24 12:13:19 PM  
$50 says the TSA detains him when he gets to the states
 
2011-12-24 12:14:55 PM  
My kid not only loves this, it's also a cool geography tool.
 
2011-12-24 12:19:39 PM  
You're all wrong on how Santa works. His real name is Jamie Madrox and that solves all of it.
 
2011-12-24 12:25:38 PM  
Merry Christmas you Farkers, you...
 
2011-12-24 12:27:09 PM  

vegaswench: I am almost 40 and my kids have long since passed the age of belief, but I just love this thing. Merry Christmas, farkers.


I'm 29 and I leave this website up all day long. What a fantastic idea. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be 6 years old and have my parents showing me this. I'd be going out of my mind.

Merry Christmas to everyone here at Fark. I wish you all the very best in the New Year.
 
2011-12-24 12:29:55 PM  

Pastor of Muppets: My kid not only loves this, it's also a cool geography tool.


Better.
www.mpogd.com
 
2011-12-24 12:31:05 PM  
And the lies begin . . .
 
2011-12-24 12:31:29 PM  
As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) - I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 5.353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

/obligatory
//source at http://sucs.org/~cmckenna/humour/xmas/santa/dead.html
 
2011-12-24 12:32:04 PM  

nyseattitude: $50 says the TSA detains him when he gets to the states


And gropes his jingle bells.
 
2011-12-24 12:38:42 PM  

Poopy MacPoop: How do you avoid Christmas?


If I were so inclined, I'd just grow a thicker skin.

As it is, we have the kids and grandkids coming over in a couple of hours, and the Santa Tracker will be up on the big screen for the little ones to drool over.

The rest of us will be drooling over the 18lb ham smoking in the grill.
 
2011-12-24 12:42:57 PM  

wambu: And the lies begin . . .


Massive social pressure
 
2011-12-24 12:49:24 PM  
A personal video from Santa (new window)

For those of us with kids who still believe.
 
2011-12-24 12:54:30 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: wambu: And the lies begin . . .

Massive social pressure


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-12-24 12:55:01 PM  
He's going way too slow in those videos
 
2011-12-24 01:03:38 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: He's going way too slow in those videos

Santa cams are ultra-cool, high-tech, high-speed digital cameras pre-positioned at many locations around the world only on December 24th. The cameras capture images and videos of Santa and his reindeer as they make their journey around the world.


Technology! How does it work?
 
2011-12-24 01:05:00 PM  

Poopy MacPoop: I can see how lying to your kids might be fun, but why spend taxpayer money to do it?


Perhaps you might like to change your Fark tag to Poopy MacReindeerPoop.

Coal for you.
 
2011-12-24 01:08:17 PM  
I love this thing. Agree on the geography. Just wonderful. And now I can see it with Google Earth too.
 
2011-12-24 01:10:07 PM  
Waiting to see if he gets shot down over Iran.
 
2011-12-24 01:16:09 PM  
I'm 39 years old and glued to the damn thing. As it was I would nearly lose my mind as a kid as the phone calls went out saying my Dad's squadron was "on alert" because of "something they'd picked up on radar" and armed forces TV would cut into the programming with updates on Santa.

If this had been around then, my head would have exploded.
 
2011-12-24 01:22:56 PM  
Google Earth plugin portion seems to freeze/crash too much this year. I remember it working better last year.
 
2011-12-24 01:24:08 PM  

Friskya: Technology! How does it work?


You're asking how a high speed digital camera works? Or how they use them to track Santa?
 
2011-12-24 01:26:47 PM  
Does he pass over Antarctica?

/video feed not loading for me
 
2011-12-24 01:30:07 PM  
Players of DEFCON (^)on Steam may feel free to nuke Santa at will. :D
 
2011-12-24 01:34:40 PM  
Is Santa gonna rape me tonight? I may not sleep tonight with the terror of my impending rape now.
 
2011-12-24 01:42:11 PM  

DubyaHater: Is Santa gonna rape me tonight? I may not sleep tonight with the terror of my impending rape now.


you said rape twice.
 
2011-12-24 01:42:43 PM  

DubyaHater: Is Santa gonna rape me tonight? I may not sleep tonight with the terror of my impending rape now.


Coal for you.
 
2011-12-24 01:43:01 PM  
I wish we'd had this when I was 5. I'd have named my teddy bear NORAD for all the love I'd be giving these types of videos. Living the fantasy, it'd be real to me, dammit. Good job, y'all!
 
2011-12-24 01:45:05 PM  

pisceandreamer: I'm 39 years old and glued to the damn thing. As it was I would nearly lose my mind as a kid as the phone calls went out saying my Dad's squadron was "on alert" because of "something they'd picked up on radar" and armed forces TV would cut into the programming with updates on Santa.

If this had been around then, my head would have exploded.


That's so epic. They should have done that for us civilian kiddies, too. Would have been the best Christmases, ever, every year.
 
2011-12-24 01:47:44 PM  

hockeychick: A personal video from Santa (new window)

For those of us with kids who still believe.


If they had a choice for a black Santa I'd be so all up on this............. still it's very, very cute. Thanks for the heads up for the parents and aunts and uncles here.
 
2011-12-24 01:51:21 PM  
So many Debbie Downers. We're tracking him via Android App:

https://market.android.com/details?id=com.visionbox.NoradTracksSanta

My kid's 12 and knows better, but it's still a yearly tradition to track the fat man via NORAD. It's a little harmless fun.
 
2011-12-24 01:57:22 PM  
love this. And Rome Total War. This thread delivers. Like Santa.
 
2011-12-24 02:25:31 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: If they had a choice for a black Santa I'd be so all up on this


Santa's sidekick, Zwarte Piet.
 
2011-12-24 02:39:29 PM  

YouPeopleAreCrazy:
Santa's sidekick, Zwarte Piet.


I'm in a good mood because of the santa tracker (how is he gonna touch down on the international space station in less than a minute from now? that's just so mindblowing that we can even pretend to do that because it's in the realm of possibility for our culture). Thank you for Black Pete the Moor. They should just hire black people, though, instead of doing the black face. It has a very interesting history, and I'd actually like to hear more about the real people who inspired such a story.
 
2011-12-24 02:49:02 PM  
I have a couple of 'special' kids who will be in care the rest of their lives. Santa Tracker is the very thing that keeps them calm until bedtime. They spent days leading up to today by going to the site and playing all the games, over and over and over. For all you Grinches out there, go play with Festivus and leave the rest of us alone. Merry Christmas!
 
2011-12-24 03:12:05 PM  
Whilst I think that the whole idea of the Santa tracker is nice for kids, are they seriously supposed to believe that the footage is real footage of Santa? I would like to think that a good majority of kids would look at that and say 'fake' since it's pretty obvious CG and kids are exposed to tons of CG these days. If the kids were even smarter they might wonder just what the hell these camera's are set up on to get the angles (shooting footage from above at a great height? Seriously? Are we supposed to believe that there are helicopters just hovering in the right place waiting for Santa to pass or something?)

Why couldn't they just stick with a map and a location marker. That way the kids don't have to look at fake footage. And the magic is still there.
 
2011-12-24 05:11:35 PM  

The sound of one hand clapping: Whilst I think that the whole idea of the Santa tracker is nice for kids, are they seriously supposed to believe that the footage is real footage of Santa? I would like to think that a good majority of kids would look at that and say 'fake' since it's pretty obvious CG and kids are exposed to tons of CG these days. If the kids were even smarter they might wonder just what the hell these camera's are set up on to get the angles (shooting footage from above at a great height? Seriously? Are we supposed to believe that there are helicopters just hovering in the right place waiting for Santa to pass or something?)

Why couldn't they just stick with a map and a location marker. That way the kids don't have to look at fake footage. And the magic is still there.


Charcoal for you. For drawing stick figures of a reindeers.
 
2011-12-24 07:37:15 PM  
I will be at this desk for the next 12 hours making sure millions smile at the idea of the Fat Man bringing presents at the speed of light.

CG of Santa is no worse than something like Veggie Tales, where not only do you have theological vegetables, but they also bear striking resemblance to various bedroom toys. Santa is neither theological nor a potential battery operated boyfriend. The CG inspires imagination of the same sort which was done through hand drawn cartoons 30 years ago. I suppose haters gotta hate though~
 
2011-12-24 09:02:04 PM  

The sound of one hand clapping: Whilst I think that the whole idea of the Santa tracker is nice for kids, are they seriously supposed to believe that the footage is real footage of Santa? I would like to think that a good majority of kids would look at that and say 'fake' since it's pretty obvious CG and kids are exposed to tons of CG these days.


Were you ever 4 years old? Obviously, you were. But you obviously don't remember.

We just had a bunch of the grandkids over, and the look in their eyes when I brought up the video of Santa flying over the pyramids and Rome...that was classic.
And when the Santa indicator was just a blob out in the Indian Ocean...the 8 year old piped up with "Madagascar!"

So go be your cynical hipster self. But don't think that the little ones don't 'believe'.
 
2011-12-24 10:10:54 PM  
Did Santa just leave the Maritimes in Eastern Canada to fly down to Puerto Rico? What kind of crazy route is that?

Must be the eggnog :-)
 
2011-12-25 05:18:45 AM  
And, the long trip is almost over. Just gotta finish dropping off the gifts for the kids in Lihue and he's finished.

Tracker says that his next stop is the North Pole, ETA 6:00 AM E.T,

Get some rest, Santa dude. You've earned it.
 
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