As most of you noticed, last week and this week we ran our Headline of the Year contests for:
MainpageSportsGeekEntertainmentPoliticsBusinessWhile Main is closed, some of the contests are still open for voting, so it's not too late if you've missed them earlier. But even if you did, you can still check out the threads and enjoy the headlines.
Next week we'll have a few more smaller contests, the Context headline of the Year, the Puns/Wordplay contest, and maybe one more if I have enough time to assemble it. We'll also let you vote for your favorite Photoshop contest of the year next week.
That's all, and thanks for coming by again.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-12-11 to Sat 2011-12-17:
Being crazy won't keep Texas from executing you. But to be fair, it won't stop Texas from electing you governor, either 
Iran says it can control downed American drone, bringing the grand total of countries able to do so to one 
Two students were shot and wounded outside Texas middle school. Police suspect nearby hunters but have not determined if they have the correct license for teens Substitute teacher cries out to God after, during affair with 15-year-old boy 
Six Walton family members have more wealth than the bottom 30% of Americans. OCCUPY MARY ELLEN 
During November and December of last year over 13,000 people were treated in ERs nationwide due to injuries involving holiday decorations. If there is a "war on Christmas" I'd say Christmas is winning Victoria's Secret under fire for use of child labor in cotton fields, spandex orchards and sequin mines FDA trying to stop do-it-yourself sperm donor in California. Suspects narrowed down to every teenage boy in the state 
The world's oldest stockbroker still trading at age 105, fondly remembers his first job with Smith Barney Rubble 
Lost: 10+ ostriches. Large birds, temperament unknown. Please do not feed or approach. If sighted, contact the Fukushima Nuclear Exclusion Zone commander immedia---+++ATH0+++ 
Carpenter shoots himself in neck with nail gun. Way to go, stud Sports:
Red Sox to announce new scholarship for high school students. Expected to be promising over the summer but collapse by the time school starts 
Don King's turkey truck hijacked. This is an audacious, fallacious, hellacious, and vexatious crime intended to stupify, horrify, and mystify our mortified law enforcement officials and poultrified spectators Kobe Bryant's wife done seeing therapist Geek:
Cops think nearly-decapitated man's killer may have been one of his online gaming opponents; currently looking to question "C0N0R M4CLE0D" The second-biggest man made structure in history will hunt for neutrinos beneath the Mediterranean. That's just a mad scientist's secret lair waiting to happen Comet Lovejoy upgraded to "advanced alien spacecraft" as NASA satellites watch it survive a trip THROUGH the sun Entertainment:
Lindsay Lohan says that posing nude gives her confidence, and by "confidence", she means "money for blow" Howard Stern joins NBC's America's Got Talent. Will be asking every contestant if they do anal New Steven Seagal/Steve Austin movie is picked up for distribution by Anchor Bay, is sure to be the big hit of 1997 Politics:
Gary Busey endorses Newt Gingrich. This is another serious blow for Michele Bachmann, as the GOP's influential 'massive head trauma' bloc may now be up for grabs 
Romney campaign announces endorsement from Christine O'Donnell. Witch they believe will help with his conservative credentials Breaking: DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano just cut Sheriff Joe Arpaio's access to ICE programs. Hmmm... Napolitano... What is that, Italian? Mexican? May I see your papers, please? Business:
On New Year's Day San Francisco to become first U.S city to top $10/hour minimum wage. Movie ushers can now afford that double wide fridge box Chicago strip club offers customers lap dance in exchange for toy donation to charity, Jade, Destiny Apple Brings Jobs to Texas. Can't you just leave the poor guy in the grave? · · ·
![[TotalFark]](http://img.fark.net/images/2003/totalfark.gif "[TotalFark]"){kind=small}
