Please note: "Responding" to idiotic questions sent in by wise-cracking members of the great unwashed public is a requirement, but that doesn't mean their questions were answered. Most of these would have been answered with the response, "we don't know and it will cost too much to find out, so push off". Still, this freedom of information shizzle is good for a laugh, if not taxes.

ElPresidente: Please note: "Responding" to idiotic questions sent in by wise-cracking members of the great unwashed public is a requirement, but that doesn't mean their questions were answered. Most of these would have been answered with the response, "we don't know and it will cost too much to find out, so push off". Still, this freedom of information shizzle is good for a laugh, if not taxes.

I wouldn't mind if they played with the joke, but often they come from real dyed-in-the-wool-crazies. One sister-agency in Colorado would get FOIA requests every month asking about the lizard people under Denver. The submitter was dead serious about it (some people had interacted with her).

I'd say 9 and 10 aren't necessarily jokes - it's reasonable to ask for a description of official uniforms so you can identify representatives of the council, and there's a bit of debate over here at the moment about the value of continuing to support payment by cheque, so stats on that might be useful for someone.

blood for the blood god. skulls for the skull throne.

Hire some French to surrender.

BronyMedic: What about robotic nazi vampires in Zepplins?!

/The bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

Are they like Dracula Vampires or are they like Twilight vampires?

Keep calm and carry on.

The sad thing is, this is a real attempt by the government to cease `freedom of information`. They are starting to notice that freedom of information is good for the public and bad for corrupt officials so they want to to go back to keeping the public like you would keep mushrooms.

Kept in the dark and fed on bullshiat.

subby:Napoleonic invasion, demonic possession, zombies, perverts and crashing Santas - just how do English councils prepare for the worst?

Call Chuck Norris?

How I might have answered them:

1. Napolean - We have no plans. Nappy has been dead for almost two hundred years, and can't attack anyone soon
2. Santa crash - If there were a documented occurrence of the actual Santa Claus crashing his sleigh in our district, we all would be very, very rich from the media storm. As for who gets to clean up the reindeer poop, you just volunteered yourself
3. Drawing pins - Come round and count them. All of our offices will be open.
4. Zombie - See #2. Oh, and buy a chain saw.
5. Alien invasion - See #2. And stick a plug up your ass so they can't 'examine' you.
6. Holes in the loo - OK, that one is kinda sorta valid. We'll look into it
7. Heisenberg - We're uncertain at this time
8. Exorcists - $0
9. Uniform details - We'll post pictures on our website
10. Cheques - We'll find out. But why are you interested in the number of cheques, but apparently not the amount of those cheques?