ACORN!

The worst part is now she won't give me my voter car back!

I May Be Crazy But...: The worst part is now she won't give me my voter car back!

Or my voter card. Whichever.

/How did the politician drive to his first day on the job?
//In his voter car!

Savinelli was holding a bag of her underwear and told the woman he "was masturbating to them."

She must have been so flattered

Do I even need to read TFA, or is it all summed up in the headline?

I did this one time. It's a biatch trying to get a new registration card.

Vote Quimby!

What a nice little strange creepy man, he is so thoughtful.

/It's just when I try to return women's underwear, they usually don't want it back.

jso2897: RoyHobbs22: Savinelli was holding a bag of her underwear and told the woman he "was masturbating to them."

She must have been so flattered

Hey, everyone wants a secret admirer!

He was hoping she was his secrete admirer.

never return to the scene of the crime

Was she hot?
We need pics

This is what makes me angry about women today. You are nice to them, you demonstrate that you think that they are special..

But noooo, you have to play hard to get, then they force you to do things like break into their place and steal their underwear. They act uppity and superficial and call you 'creepy'. They say things like get away from me and call the cops when you apologize..

Women, they don't appreciate real affection and love. What can you do?.

An unsolicited starched underwear service?

So, vote _________________

Bucky Katt: How do you know he's a Dem? A GOPer would steal little boy's underwear?

If I heard that a senator or congressman got caught masturbating to a little boy's underwear, I would assume that he was a family-values born-again Republican. Why wouldn't I? I mean, what are the odds against it?

Sullyville: never return to the scene of the crime

And do insist your landlord change the locks when you move into a new apartment. Most of them don't, and they'll probably try to hit you up for a fee for doing it.

Here's your panties back... (GROSS new window)

I see my ex is out and about.

TIB

/typical italian behavior

Bet she gets new panties.

Now he's caught, a nasty sort of person.
They gave him time,
Doors bang, chain gang.

I'm guessing after this incident she burned every pair of underwear she had and then scrubbed her crotch with boiling water and lye soap...

Did he have an IQ of 12? Why would you admit that, A): You had broken in many times before B): You were masturbating with the items you'd stolen C): You volunteer your voter registration card so she knows exactly who you are?

Since we know they guy is a perv, perhaps he has no social skills whatsoever and figured he was coming on to her. "She'll go head over heels once she finds out I care enough about her to break in and steal her panties! Not to mention my honesty and chivalry in returning them! I'd better give her something with my name on it so she can shower me with sexy gratitude!"

masturbatory: It's a real word. I looked it up, it checks out.

But what kind are we talking about? Thongs? bikini cut? granny panties for 'that time of the month'? I must know.

Bucky Katt: sigdiamond2000: Savinelli was holding a bag of her underwear and told the woman he "was masturbating to them."

Refreshing candor from a Democrat. Maybe we can all get along.

How do you know he's a Dem? A GOPer would steal little boys underwear?.

FTFY

think he will do hard time?

He's doing it wrong. Everyone knows that you need to get a job that supports your panty fetish, like working in a laundromat or being prime minister of Italy.

As you do.

Happosai approves this message

kkinnison: Happosai approves this message

And you've just been favorited.

The ONLY masturbatory aid I know of is. MY HAND. HOW STUPID ARE YOU PEOPLE


WHY IS UNDER PANTS SO GAY

WHY NOT MASTURBATE TO/IN A CUP OF COFFEE

Ah Bozeman you silly kids and your silly panty stealing and using them to bate...

"Improvised masturbatorium" - the greatest Fark meme that Fark ever forgot

Try to think about work now

I get a 404 error for TFA.

Here are new links

Original (new window)

Follow-up (new window)

gaslight: Dumb question, fetishes are largely associated with males. What are female sexual paraphilia/fetishes?

my wife likes to be bound with latex...