OH YEAH AND I WANT MY SOUL MATE

SHE WONT EVER ANSWER ME
CAUSE SHES AFRAID IM GONNA RAPE HER

IN TIME>>>

1. Volcano vaporizer
2. heart rate monitor

a TARDIS

The Scribblings of a Madcap Shambleton by Noel Fielding.

mciann: a TARDIS

Hell, I saw half a school bus full of those the other day. I bet I could steal two or three of 'em before anyone even noticed.

A Republican Presidential candidate that isn't crazy, stupid, crooked, sleazy, a closet liberal, or some combination of those.

/hates Obama

Djembe: misfitdreams: Dear Santa,
I have $2.26 in my bank account for the next two weeks. If you'd be kind enough to toss a twenty under the tree as a just in case I'd be grateful. No need to put any fancy paper on it, leave that for the kids stuff. Just a plain white envelope will be fine. If not possible, no worries, you never let me down as a kid, I can't expect you to take care of me as an adult.

If your email was in your profile, and you had a paypal account, I'd be happy to help you.

Sometimes I hate how dusty it gets in my house. I don't have a paypal account but I did add my e-mail Merry Whateverous wishes and dirty jokes are welcome. Thanks for the reminder that there are still good people in the world.

Trentadue Chocolate Amore Port

Juc: -People to download my iPhone / iPad game so I can eat next month.

Done. As an unemployed TV production guy, I fully understand the pain of being squeezed between your dreams and the need to make money.

Lando Lincoln: All I want for Christmas is for my son to stop smoking.

"Gave" my pops this a week or 2 ago so getting a kick. Also wanting to murder sum1 with a modified wooden toilet roller. Hope you get what you want.

I'll take one of each please.





And I will reward you with something that halfway sounds like music.

Well, since we're including our all time fantasy wishes.

Talondel: My wife suffered a massive stroke on Dec. 7. I would very much like it if someone could tell me that she'll eventually walk again, and that one day, even if it's a long time from now, we'll be able to go back to living our lives as a relatively normal and happy couple.

Between treatment advances and physical therapy, there's a good chance. The boss at my last job is only a few years from retirement and he had one at the store a couple of years ago, but he recovered quite well from it considering he didn't really take care of himself even after. Had a bit of a limp and a few issues with speech but overall I didn't know about it till I'd been working there for a while and someone told me.

I need to get out from under this debt and life will be all good.

I could really use some new bluetooth stereo headphones, new earbuds, and a gift certificate to a Big And Tall store (I only have one pair of non-shorts, it'd be nice not to freeze this midwest winter)

Thanks santa! :D

+



I'm a simple man.

rageaholic: "Gave" my pops this a week or 2 ago so getting a kick. Also wanting to murder sum1 with a modified wooden toilet roller. Hope you get what you want.

Good luck. It gets better after a few months.

Of course 3 years later and I still get cravings.

Naked pics of Grabel's Daughter.

Thank you Santa!!!

Chucke4711: I only have one pair of non-shorts

Are you talking about pants?

All I want for Christmas is one weekend off from the housewife-and-mom grind, where I can be reasonably sure no one will starve if I fark off and play a video game all day, and I don't have to worry about my husband doing irreparable damage to the kitchen or my wee fearless little juggernaut of a son accidentally trying to murder his sisters or himself.

That, and maybe a bottle of decent tequila.

To give someone who is deaf my hearing .. a gift from the bottom of my heart :)


\and to stop hearing my wife biatch all the time.

Santa,
you know i like knives, flashlights and monoculars. small and of extremely high quality.

thank you.

kvinesknows: Minimum wage in MB is $10, you can live in my basement for uh.. "Free". without you there current boyfriend will be less stressed and ex boyfriend will not matter to you...

so.. WISH GRANTED!!!! ( can you be here before Christmas so I can wrap you up and put you under the tree as a present for my wife? )

L
O
L

Thanks for the offer. I sincerely got a good chuckle out of it. :)

/ex-husband, not ex-boyfriend

Dear Santa,

I've been a very good girl this year. I've only embezzled a little money from the company and I haven't killed anyone in months! Please oh please could I get an Alienware 17" laptop, a gift certificate to Coach for a new purse, or a new Subaru Outback Limited Edition? Please? I know you have flight restrictions thanks to the TSA, so I won't ask for a new XD 9mm sub-compact.

I wish for women to be as horny as men.

cgraves67, you sound exactly like my husband. Creepily so...

kvinesknows: hitlersbrain: I wish for women to be as horny as men.
they are

Yep, it's not our fault men don't come with a vibrate mode.

A job please.

I want that I knocked my woman up again last week when she was fertile and she carries twin daughters that are born healthy and all around awesome.

Dear Santa,

I've been good. I even took a Farker's advice and hired a personal assistant two days ago. He was unemployed for two years.

The thing is, my dad has cancer. I couldn't stand for this Christmas to be our last. Please tell me you have something in your bag for us.

Love,
Karmaspork

I won't ask for a job, I'll earn that. But just to get an interview would be nice. I've only had three since July.

Ordinary Genius: [img.21food.com image 413x600]

THIS

Almost forgot...my cousin could use a new heart before his second LVAD (new window) burns out.

Thanks!

Dear Santa,

Its been a good year, feel free to surprise me. Your white chocolate macadamia cookies will be waiting with a nice cup of coffee!

A job. Preferably a tenure-track in a small liberal arts college.

mjjt: son kept giving me the "I wish ...."

shared my philosophy on that:
"You can shiat in one hand and wish in the other, and see which one fills up first"

Now when he says "I wish ..."
I just show him my two upturned hands

/get off yr bum and do something to get it

I'd sh*t in your hand.

Jus' kidding. I say that one myself.

Dear Santa,
No more suffering for all.
Thank you.

Might as well go big, ya know.