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(Fark)   It's only a few days before Christmas. If there's a gift you would like, please post in this thread and this thread will be delivered to Santa at the North Pole   (fark.com) divider line 625
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1146 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2011 at 1:39 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-12-22 01:52:59 PM
I'll take one dollar today, and the previous days amount times the day it is for the next two months.

Oh and that Hennessy supercar that was on here yesterday.

/thanks santa
 
2011-12-22 01:53:04 PM
A job. If it's a great, well-paying job with benefits, awesome...but I would also take a foot-in-the-door, okay-paying job with no benefits to start.

/I really want to work
//And sending out resumes the week of Christmas sucks
 
2011-12-22 01:53:34 PM
I'd like my student loans to magically pay themselves plzkthx.
 
2011-12-22 01:53:49 PM

fredsnake: a new president- rhino's unacceptable


RINOs are my favorite -- John Huntsman, Christie Whitman, Colin Powell, any of them would make an awesome president.
 
2011-12-22 01:53:49 PM
A nice long slow deep throat blowjob from my wife.
 
2011-12-22 01:53:51 PM
Skyrim, Skyward Sword and Mario Kart 3DS.

... And GLaDOS.
 
2011-12-22 01:53:54 PM
A red rider BB gun.
 
2011-12-22 01:54:16 PM
First would be the crap about the kids.

Second, Thin Lizzy, Live and Dangerous on cd.
 
2011-12-22 01:54:43 PM
I want everybody above me to not get their gifts.
 
2011-12-22 01:54:49 PM
All I want is a soul for every ginger.

/Not a ginger
 
2011-12-22 01:55:14 PM

meanmutton: sn82: A good orgasm and maybe some money.

Interestingly, there is a way to combine those two wants... Not that I'm propositioning you.


I can't get off if I know that there is money involved.
 
2011-12-22 01:55:17 PM

Bathia_Mapes: A donation to your local food bank or animal shelter/humane society, both if you can afford it. Food banks can use both money & food donations for after the holiday period when their shelves are close to empty. Animal shelters/humane societies need cash, pet food, blankets, etc.


That's why you're my favorite.
 
2011-12-22 01:55:24 PM

meanmutton: A way for people to stop telling my daughter than Santa is going to bring her presents.

/we don't do the Santa thing


We don't do the Santa thing either. We have explained that Santa is a fictional character who was based on a real person and then we talk about St. Nicholas who lived a long time ago and gave presents and food to the needy and the poor. Our daughter is only 4 so she only kinda gets it this year. We are also trying to help her understand that Christmas is not about getting presents and toys it's about giving gifts to others especially those in need.

She however still wants a princess barbie :-P
 
2011-12-22 01:55:54 PM
2 Chiefs wins
2 Bronco losses
and 1 Chargers loss
 
2011-12-22 01:56:27 PM
Luck
 
2011-12-22 01:56:29 PM

meanmutton: fredsnake: a new president- rhino's unacceptable

RINOs are my favorite -- John Huntsman, Christie Whitman, Colin Powell, any of them would make an awesome president.


Huntsman isn't really a RINO; he's actually quite conservative. He just looks like a RINO compared to the rest of the presidential field because he isn't aggressively stupid.
 
2011-12-22 01:57:05 PM
A Hitachi Magic Wand and a week off from work
 
2011-12-22 01:57:07 PM
My FB account completely erased from their server

A Golden fork in which Zuckerburg can use to Express Mail himself to the nearest god of his choosing.

Steak for my dog. I think he wants some.
 
2011-12-22 01:57:10 PM
Santa

I would like a one month Fark subscription for Christmas. :)

BitTwist
 
2011-12-22 01:57:11 PM
I could really use a day of not dealing with anyone else's problems. And being left alone to enjoy my peace and quiet.
 
2011-12-22 01:57:33 PM

Silverlining: A Hitachi Magic Wand and a week off from work


You won't be able to feel it after a day or two. Best used in small doses. For real.
 
2011-12-22 01:57:53 PM
Dear Santa,

See Amazon Wishlist...

That is all...
 
2011-12-22 01:58:06 PM
A kayak, and possibly Nick Cage's Gojira statue I saw on eBay.
 
2011-12-22 01:58:13 PM
I was going to post a picture of Selena Gomez but people seem to playing it straight in this thread so I'd like this:

www.instruments2go.co.uk

To be honest, though, my wife might prefer if I brought Gomez into the house.
 
2011-12-22 01:58:34 PM

Lorelle: A job with benefits.


A friend with benefits.
 
2011-12-22 01:58:48 PM

Wellon Dowd: To be honest, though, my wife might prefer if I brought Gomez into the house.


You must be a truly awful guitarist.
 
2011-12-22 01:59:39 PM

meanmutton: CrazedHatter: I don't ask for much, just a 1967 Pontiac GTO, and the funds to maintain it in peak condition for the rest of my days. :-P

I'm a fan of the '70 Judge myself...


I would not turn away a '70 Judge, no sir... I can't really describe WHY the '67 makes my stomach feel funny, but it does. It started way back when I was a kid and my sister dated a guy that had one. What a beast that was... the car was awesome though. :-D
 
2011-12-22 01:59:40 PM
hookers and blow
 
2011-12-22 01:59:46 PM

Silverlining: A Hitachi Magic Wand and a week off from work


You'll put your eye out.

You, too, Quibble
 
2011-12-22 01:59:59 PM
www.poker777.com

I'll handle the rest.
 
2011-12-22 02:00:13 PM
I just want a passing grade on my CFP exam.
 
2011-12-22 02:00:18 PM

Talondel: ke on Dec. 7. I would very much like it if someone could tell me that she'll eventually walk again, and that one day, even if it's a long time from now, we'll be able to go back to living our lives as a relatively normal and happy couple.


My prayers to you and your family. We lost our 3rd and last unborn child on Dec 7 of last year. My wife almost didn't make it out of surgery either. This past year has really been a great year of growth because it has made us thankful for life and our 4 year old daughter. You will get through it and hopefully you guys will have a stronger relationship because if it.

//drugs and therapy can't hurt ;-)
 
2011-12-22 02:00:29 PM

hoho19: meanmutton: A way for people to stop telling my daughter than Santa is going to bring her presents.

/we don't do the Santa thing

We don't do the Santa thing either. We have explained that Santa is a fictional character who was based on a real person and then we talk about St. Nicholas who lived a long time ago and gave presents and food to the needy and the poor. Our daughter is only 4 so she only kinda gets it this year. We are also trying to help her understand that Christmas is not about getting presents and toys it's about giving gifts to others especially those in need.

She however still wants a princess barbie :-P


That's the track we're taking with it, frankly. Glad to know that other people are out there doing the same.
 
2011-12-22 02:00:35 PM
the second wife we've been looking for.
 
2011-12-22 02:00:37 PM
Dear Santa,

Please give all the Farkers who have been laid off in the last few years new jobs so that Fark can go back to being the self-righteous debaucherous flame orgy it used to be before people got sad.

Also, an H&K 417. Leave it stock, I'll do the customizing. Thanks

-Tim
 
2011-12-22 02:00:57 PM

Mirrorz: I'm a simple man.

There are only 2 things in this world that I want:
1. An AA-12 (Shotgun)
2. A pet Sloth to hug


This made me picture a guy going on a shooting rampage while being clung to, and comforted by, a sloth.

Weird, but plausible.
 
2011-12-22 02:01:04 PM

Prank Monkey: 2 Chiefs wins
2 Bronco losses
and 1 Chargers loss


Well, the Chargers will lose this weekend so you have that going for you.
 
2011-12-22 02:01:16 PM
health, love, wealth and comfort...

/for all.
 
2011-12-22 02:01:27 PM
Oh, will settle for:

www.wsop.com
 
2011-12-22 02:02:21 PM
PEACE ON EARTH!

That, or a pony.
 
2011-12-22 02:02:30 PM
Kate Beckinsale madly in love with me.
 
2011-12-22 02:02:40 PM
Peace of mind for all.

/settle down, I said
 
2011-12-22 02:03:04 PM
texdent: A job

HJ? BJ? ZJ?
 
2011-12-22 02:03:07 PM

Mr. Fuzzypaws: A woman of questionable morals.


I'll have what he's having...
 
2011-12-22 02:03:13 PM

Fett56: Mirrorz: I'm a simple man.

There are only 2 things in this world that I want:
1. An AA-12 (Shotgun)
2. A pet Sloth to hug

This made me picture a guy going on a shooting rampage while being clung to, and comforted by, a sloth.

Weird, but plausible.


I'd buy that as a comic book.
 
2011-12-22 02:03:36 PM
Just to hug my daughter before I die, and forgive her.
 
2011-12-22 02:04:23 PM
Mac Book Pro
Final Cut Pro

For class

Or, pay off my loans ($60,000 so far)

Boston University rules, but it's spensive...

Also tell my Dad wherever he may be after life that I love him and will watch over Mom and take care of her.
 
2011-12-22 02:04:46 PM
A good guy that likes to have fun.

Thanks Santa. My life is in your hands!
 
2011-12-22 02:05:02 PM
That all my current problems with school loans get sorted out :(
 
2011-12-22 02:05:07 PM

hoho19: Talondel: ke on Dec. 7. I would very much like it if someone could tell me that she'll eventually walk again, and that one day, even if it's a long time from now, we'll be able to go back to living our lives as a relatively normal and happy couple.

My prayers to you and your family. We lost our 3rd and last unborn child on Dec 7 of last year. My wife almost didn't make it out of surgery either. This past year has really been a great year of growth because it has made us thankful for life and our 4 year old daughter. You will get through it and hopefully you guys will have a stronger relationship because if it.

//drugs and therapy can't hurt ;-)


This may be the stupidest thing I've ever said (those who know me from the Politics tab will doubtless disagree) but the kind words from a complete stranger over the internet have actually made me feel a bit better. Thank you for taking the time to say something. I'm sorry for your loss, and glad to hear you and your wife have pulled through.
 
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