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(Quad City Times)   One city will be celebrating Festivus, complete with Pole, an Airing of Grievances, and the requisite Feats of Strength   (qctimes.com) divider line 73
    More: Cool, superhuman strength, Festivus  
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9972 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2011 at 1:22 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-12-22 01:15:12 PM
Quad-City either sounds like a place where you can buy an ATV or the slang name for the futuristic ghetto where we put all paralyzed people.
 
2011-12-22 01:24:57 PM
bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com

As I rained blows upon him, I knew there had to be a better way.
 
2011-12-22 01:26:19 PM

Headso: Quad-City either sounds like a place where you can buy an ATV or the slang name for the futuristic ghetto where we put all paralyzed people.


Both.

(45 mins from me)
 
2011-12-22 01:26:46 PM
But what about the great feets of strength?
 
2011-12-22 01:29:32 PM
Merry Christmas, everyone!

I hope you get to spend this holiday with the people you love.
 
2011-12-22 01:29:49 PM

mcwehrle: Headso: Quad-City either sounds like a place where you can buy an ATV or the slang name for the futuristic ghetto where we put all paralyzed people.

Both.

(45 mins from me)


I'm in Davenport.

And it's not Quad-City. It's The Quad Cities. Or you refer to the cities by individual name.
 
2011-12-22 01:30:41 PM
This is all kinds of awesome! The fact that the pole was sponsered by Vandelay Industries is the cherry on top!
 
2011-12-22 01:32:06 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Merry Christmas, everyone!

I hope you get to spend this holiday with the people you love.


Unfortunately, Mila Kunis has yet to answer my daily phone call.
 
2011-12-22 01:32:21 PM
I don't remember meatloaf being the traditional Festivus meal.
 
2011-12-22 01:32:22 PM
No no, I mean, great strength of FEET!


/obscure?
 
2011-12-22 01:32:30 PM

Orgasmatron138: mcwehrle: Headso: Quad-City either sounds like a place where you can buy an ATV or the slang name for the futuristic ghetto where we put all paralyzed people.

Both.

(45 mins from me)

I'm in Davenport.

And it's not Quad-City. It's The Quad Cities. Or you refer to the cities by individual name.


I know. I didn't feel the need to go there to make the distinction, sorry.

Davenport
Rock Island
Moline
Bettendorf
 
2011-12-22 01:33:05 PM

VvonderJesus: AverageAmericanGuy: Merry Christmas, everyone!

I hope you get to spend this holiday with the people you love.

Unfortunately, Mila Kunis has yet to answer my daily phone call.


Have you thought about getting a prepaid phone?
 
2011-12-22 01:35:09 PM
i1181.photobucket.com
 
2011-12-22 01:35:54 PM
i1181.photobucket.com
 
2011-12-22 01:36:51 PM
My friends have a Festivus party every year. He's Jewish, she's Anglican, and everybody has a blast. Folks take turns stepping up to the Pole to air grievances and everything. It may be goofy TV show "tradition", but it's 10X more fun than any other holiday party I go to each year.

/will be wearing my Manssiere and Superman underpants
 
2011-12-22 01:40:20 PM

caddisfly: My friends have a Festivus party every year. He's Jewish, she's Anglican, and everybody has a blast. Folks take turns stepping up to the Pole to air grievances and everything. It may be goofy TV show "tradition", but it's 10X more fun than any other holiday party I go to each year.

/will be wearing my Manssiere and Superman underpants


It might get chilly. Be sure to take your rat hat.
 
2011-12-22 01:41:07 PM

ChrisDe: caddisfly: My friends have a Festivus party every year. He's Jewish, she's Anglican, and everybody has a blast. Folks take turns stepping up to the Pole to air grievances and everything. It may be goofy TV show "tradition", but it's 10X more fun than any other holiday party I go to each year.

/will be wearing my Manssiere and Superman underpants

It might get chilly. Be sure to take your rat hat.


And your 8-ball jacket
 
2011-12-22 01:41:16 PM

caddisfly: My friends have a Festivus party every year. He's Jewish, she's Anglican, and everybody has a blast. Folks take turns stepping up to the Pole to air grievances and everything. It may be goofy TV show "tradition", but it's 10X more fun than any other holiday party I go to each year.

/will be wearing my Manssiere and Superman underpants


I thought Kramer called the manssiere a 'bro'. Perhaps known as both.
 
2011-12-22 01:43:33 PM
FTFA: "McClaskey and Rodgers-Ingles will roam the District with "Seinfeld"-related clothing. His T-shirt will read, "I am McClaskey, Lord of the Idiots," a reference to the show's George Costanza character. Rodgers-Ingles doesn't want the message on hers publicized, but it's a familiar line to anyone who's watched the series."

Since her name's not Dolores, my money's on "Master Of My Domain".
 
2011-12-22 02:00:32 PM

mcwehrle: Headso: Quad-City either sounds like a place where you can buy an ATV or the slang name for the futuristic ghetto where we put all paralyzed people.

Both.

(45 mins from me)


You must drive fast! I'm in the 'burg and it is 45 minutes from me.
 
2011-12-22 02:02:42 PM
My daughter celebrates her third birthday tomorrow. She's a Festivus baby!
 
2011-12-22 02:03:13 PM
When do we have the Fark airing of grievances?
 
2011-12-22 02:06:04 PM
Is this being done ironically?

One of the stupidest events out there; people who 'celebrate' this are nothing but hipster doofuses.
 
2011-12-22 02:07:48 PM

Baz the Spaz: mcwehrle: Headso: Quad-City either sounds like a place where you can buy an ATV or the slang name for the futuristic ghetto where we put all paralyzed people.

Both.

(45 mins from me)

You must drive fast! I'm in the 'burg and it is 45 minutes from me.


Speed limits are really just a suggestion......LOL

Ok, maybe an hour from me. I haven't been in awhile now.
 
2011-12-22 02:08:47 PM
I feel like going to Blue Cat and getting drunk. But I'll take their pork chop over their meatloaf.
 
2011-12-22 02:09:54 PM
I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE! AND YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT!

/no seriously Happy Festivus
 
2011-12-22 02:10:12 PM
But what would Alvis do?
 
2011-12-22 02:11:02 PM

Kit Fister: No no, I mean, great strength of FEET!


/obscure?


Not even slightly obscure.
 
2011-12-22 02:13:01 PM
Other cities to celebrate the rest of us complete with airing of wounds after getting in brawls over grievances and feats of strength involving smashing empty cans against foreheads. Sometimes each other's and not always empty.
 
2011-12-22 02:13:51 PM

Baz the Spaz: When do we have the Fark airing of grievances?


May as well start now. I don't think we got a Festivus thread last year...

I'll start

-FARK not having a Festivus thread last year
-Too many Tebow articles
-Not enough fWc threads
-That asshole cop who tells me I can't walk past a school in my underwear
-Lindsay Lohan for doing a Playboy spread
-Miley Cyrus for being Miley Cyrus
-Justin Bieber, I hate him


I will be back later with more, you have all dissapointed me greatly.
 
2011-12-22 02:15:19 PM

Inquisitive Inquisitor: Kit Fister: No no, I mean, great strength of FEET!


/obscure?

Not even slightly obscure.


only if you head sure and cockstrong
 
2011-12-22 02:16:33 PM
Can I bring my two-face date with me?
 
2011-12-22 02:24:40 PM

Sleazy_as_Pie: But what would Alvis do?


HAIL Squish Face!
 
2011-12-22 02:27:55 PM

Orgasmatron138: mcwehrle: Headso: Quad-City either sounds like a place where you can buy an ATV or the slang name for the futuristic ghetto where we put all paralyzed people.

Both.

(45 mins from me)

I'm in Davenport.

And it's not Quad-City. It's The Quad Cities. Or you refer to the cities by individual name.


Davenport's like Chesterfield, but not as nice.
 
2011-12-22 02:31:28 PM
Hey, no bagel, no bagel, no bagel, no bagel.
 
2011-12-22 02:35:45 PM

bikerbob59: caddisfly: My friends have a Festivus party every year. He's Jewish, she's Anglican, and everybody has a blast. Folks take turns stepping up to the Pole to air grievances and everything. It may be goofy TV show "tradition", but it's 10X more fun than any other holiday party I go to each year.

/will be wearing my Manssiere and Superman underpants

I thought Kramer called the manssiere a 'bro'. Perhaps known as both.


that's why the project fell apart. Kramer and George's dad couldn't agree on the name.
 
2011-12-22 02:39:01 PM

hubcity: FTFA: "McClaskey and Rodgers-Ingles will roam the District with "Seinfeld"-related clothing. His T-shirt will read, "I am McClaskey, Lord of the Idiots," a reference to the show's George Costanza character. Rodgers-Ingles doesn't want the message on hers publicized, but it's a familiar line to anyone who's watched the series."

Since her name's not Dolores, my money's on "Master Of My Domain".


.....
Perhaps..... Mulva?
 
2011-12-22 02:45:08 PM

some.old.lady.: hubcity: FTFA: "McClaskey and Rodgers-Ingles will roam the District with "Seinfeld"-related clothing. His T-shirt will read, "I am McClaskey, Lord of the Idiots," a reference to the show's George Costanza character. Rodgers-Ingles doesn't want the message on hers publicized, but it's a familiar line to anyone who's watched the series."

Since her name's not Dolores, my money's on "Master Of My Domain".

.....
Perhaps..... Mulva?


My money's on "They're real and they're spectacular!"
 
2011-12-22 02:49:21 PM

Baz the Spaz: When do we have the Fark airing of grievances?


When don't we?
 
2011-12-22 02:52:39 PM

xsarien: Baz the Spaz: When do we have the Fark airing of grievances?

When don't we?


Beat me to it.
 
2011-12-22 03:01:26 PM
Festivus is celebrated on December 23rd...tomorrow. But I agree, no time like the present;

Consider this the Pre-Festivus Airing of Grievances Warm-Up.

1. Not enough BIE.
2. All politicians (except Moffitt). I don't trust any of you!
3. Not enough BIE
4. The student who got me in trouble at work because I called him a douchebag because he was a douchebag.
5. Not enough BIE!
6. There is no.....number 6.
7. NOT ENOUGH BIE!

I am greatly disappointed.
 
2011-12-22 03:02:49 PM

douchebag/hater: Is this being done ironically?

One of the stupidest events out there; people who 'celebrate' this are nothing but hipster doofuses.


Either trolling or living up to your name, either way STFU DIAF
 
2011-12-22 03:15:18 PM

douchebag/hater: Is this being done ironically?

One of the stupidest events out there; people who 'celebrate' this are nothing but hipster doofuses.


I'm too lazy to go look, but didn't you call me a hipster douchebag the other day because I don't like fast food?
 
2011-12-22 03:15:47 PM
Feats of Strength and bars? This should end well.
 
2011-12-22 03:21:44 PM

mcwehrle: Orgasmatron138: mcwehrle: Headso: Quad-City either sounds like a place where you can buy an ATV or the slang name for the futuristic ghetto where we put all paralyzed people.

Both.

(45 mins from me)

I'm in Davenport.

And it's not Quad-City. It's The Quad Cities. Or you refer to the cities by individual name.

I know. I didn't feel the need to go there to make the distinction, sorry.

Davenport
Rock Island
Moline
Bettendorf


You're trolling. I can tell because you're trying to list the Quad Cities as though there are four. Milan is also contiguous to the bunch, as is East Moline. And then you get in to further out cities like Coal Valley and it's just a clusterfark.
 
2011-12-22 03:27:59 PM

Can't_Think_Of_A_Name: mcwehrle: Orgasmatron138: mcwehrle: Headso: Quad-City either sounds like a place where you can buy an ATV or the slang name for the futuristic ghetto where we put all paralyzed people.

Both.

(45 mins from me)

I'm in Davenport.

And it's not Quad-City. It's The Quad Cities. Or you refer to the cities by individual name.

I know. I didn't feel the need to go there to make the distinction, sorry.

Davenport
Rock Island
Moline
Bettendorf

You're trolling. I can tell because you're trying to list the Quad Cities as though there are four. Milan is also contiguous to the bunch, as is East Moline. And then you get in to further out cities like Coal Valley and it's just a clusterfark.


Moline doesn't claim East Moline, just like Peoria doesn't claim East Peoria.

Milan sucks.

But you're totally right when you say it's a clusterfark. :)

But Whitey's is always worth the drive. And it's the closest place I can fine Boetje's too.
 
2011-12-22 03:28:32 PM
The Lonecoon household Festivus party has become tradition in the past few years. Traditons in our home include:

1.) Feats of Strength: Usually gift wrap tube fighting, a basic child's game like tiddlywinks or marbles
2.) Traditional Foods: Meatloaf or spaghetti
3.) Airing of Grievances: A must for any event.
4.) The "Gift" exchange: Not so much a gift exchange, but an opportunity to return that which you have borrowed in the past year. I look at it this way: You know they want it, it doesn't cost you anything, and you don't even have to wrap it. You put all the items to be returned around your Festivus pole and pass them out to the person they belonged too in the first place.
5.) Declaration of the Festivus Miracle: This year it was that one of the guest's knees stopped hurting. Last year it was that there was enough food to feed everyone despite me forgetting about a family of 5 coming. Standards for Festivus miracles are exceedingly low.
 
2011-12-22 03:37:48 PM
Oh goodie. It's the time of year where sad losers pretend to celebrate nonexistent holidays to pledge their allegiance to irrelevant, barely-funny-even-when-it-was-new-and-certainly-nowhere-near-so-clever -as-it-always-thought-it-was TV shows.
 
2011-12-22 03:40:36 PM

Baz the Spaz: When do we have the Fark airing of grievances?


Days that end with a "y."
 
2011-12-22 03:47:11 PM

gweilo8888: Oh goodie. It's the time of year where sad losers pretend to celebrate nonexistent holidays to pledge their allegiance to irrelevant, barely-funny-even-when-it-was-new-and-certainly-nowhere-near-so-clever -as-it-always-thought-it-was TV shows.


You don't have a life, do you ?
 
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