AK47 can treat many medical ailments.

/Oh, you mean the rifle?

I hear that the AK-47 Assault Rifle, the preferred weapon of our enemies, makes a distinctive sound when fired at you. You should remember it.

Bah, Middle Eastern countries have been using them as a household remedy for decades.

I do love hybrids

Photograph of the gun in used in the crime:

LeafyGreens: Photograph of the gun in used in the crime:

Hmm, the North Korean knock-off AK.

Wait...what?

probesport: [28.media.tumblr.com image 445x302]

50 seconds!

/tiny fist of impotent rage

humanshrapnel: probesport: [28.media.tumblr.com image 445x302]

50 seconds!

/tiny fist of impotent rage

Get in the trunk.

Speaking of weird diagnostic tools, a friend of mine jogs to test a heart valve that he had repaired as a child.

Dr. told him that he's low risk, but that he should still have a very expensive series of tests every two years. OR he can jog on a regular basis, and if his times start to suffer then they should look at his heart.

So now he's the very rare uber healthy, marathon running geek.

While I'm the very common fat geek; eating chocolate covered pretzels as I waste time on Fark rather than working.

I bet the two ho's and the hotel at which he was meeting them were all super nice

freewill: The shooting happened in November at a Knights Inn. D'Amato told the newspaper he was at the motel to meet two prostitutes for a "24-hour party."

My God.

That could have been me.

I need to change my ways.

So would I need cocaine or meth (along with shat tons of Viagra) to "party" for 24 hours straight with two prostitutes? Cause I'm guessing if your paying for a full 24 hours, you aren't planning on doing allot of sleeping.

WelldeadLink: I'm tired of playing 20 questions.
TELL ME ALL YOUR farkING SYMPTOMS!

Tell that to the "No laundry list" doctors who cut you off in between "trouble breathing" and "abdominal pain" before handing you a bottle of aspirin and a pratfo.

911: "911 what's your emergency?"

Caller: "My friend and I were hunting rabbits with our AK-47s, because we're so manly, and my friend fell over and won't move. I think he's dead!"

911: "Make sure he's dead."

Caller: BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

It gets people up and out of wheelchairs real quick.

Regular Chest X-Rays/Imaging should be friggin mandatory after a certain age.

My father found out he had a pulmonary embolism just below his stomach and a gap in his upper vertebrae, and all he had to do was nearly paralyze himself in a horrific car crash that required 80% of his spine to be fused.

If we'd left it up to his insurance company (which, by the way, isn't exactly a cheap one) they would never have chipped in for one at all.

Now D'Amato says he wants to turn his life around and improve his health.

Dude don't be an idiot. You're bullet proof now. Rock on you 24 hour partying monster.
You've been cleaned up and sent back out on the field-get in there and - uh - do whatever you were-gonna-do.

Don't suppose they were planning an Ice Cream Social for the next afternoon . . .

Doc 1: "He had 'life threatening cancer,' but I used the AK-47 on him and he died from bullet wounds instead."
Doc 2 "yeah, the AK-47 seems to be a very accurate tool for diagnosing those that will die from bullet wounds"

/DRTFA

SkunkWerks: Regular Chest X-Rays/Imaging should be friggin mandatory after a certain age.


So based on your dads experience alone, you want everyone over a certain age to be exposed to radiation on a regular basis. Of course without regard to cost, or risk of repeated radiation..... Wait a second, this is brilliant, all boomers should be given these tests as soon as possible at the highest "effective" strength possible.

Sure the new "screenings" would be expensive at first, but think of the long term savings!

"I'm sorry, we didn't find cancer, but we did discover you've been exposed to lethal levels of radiation; go home, you'll be dead in 24 hours"

Came to leave a Samuel El Jackson reference, leaving somewhat satisfied.

humanshrapnel
probesport: [28.media.tumblr.com image 445x302]

50 seconds!

/tiny fist of impotent rage

completely yr own fault for taking the time to add words

/was one of the better simulposts

LeafyGreens: Photograph of the gun in used in the crime:

[img.photobucket.com image 640x451]

The PX4 is a nice gun.

pedrop357: LeafyGreens: Photograph of the gun in used in the crime:

[img.photobucket.com image 640x451]

The PX4 is a nice gun.

Yeah it is! I've got the 9mm version. Trigger is a tad spongy on mine, but it shoots great.

24hr hooker party damn that sounds like a good time. Even with some coke I would still pass the fark out and get robbed around hour 18.

If I survived getting shot I'd live an even more farked up life.

This is the classiest story I've ever read.

BigBooper: So based on your dads experience alone, you want everyone over a certain age to be exposed to radiation on a regular basis. Of course without regard to cost, or risk of repeated radiation.....

"regular".

Means "repeated" in this case. And no, I don't see the harm in having mandatory chest X rays made a mandatory check up every 5-10 years or so. Chances are you have x-rays for other things in life about as frequently.

The chances it would catch something that would drastically shorten your existence (something that would not otherwise be detected) far outweighs the risk of exposure at those low does and at that kind of infrequency. Cost to benefit ratios? How do those work?

And it's hardly just my father's experience. I've heard this particular anecdote many, many times, from friends, from other members of my family, and often enough on the news that I think it bears some preventative medicine.

That said, I see you're reaching pretty hard for some sort of issue with this, and I wouldn't want to ruin your fun, so good luck with that.

camelias: I hear that the AK-47 Assault Rifle, the preferred weapon of our enemies, makes a distinctive sound when fired at you. You should remember it.

pedobearapproved: Doc 1: "He had 'life threatening cancer,' but I used the AK-47 on him and he died from bullet wounds instead."
Doc 2 "yeah, the AK-47 seems to be a very accurate tool for diagnosing those that will die from bullet wounds"

/DRTFA

Obviously you didn't read the part where it was stated that the tumor was "non-cancerous".