Done in the first two.

Winchester.

Careful with that axe Eugene.

Hide and streak is one of my favorite games.

What kind of person would need a reason to barricade themselves inside a pub?

\I would do it just because.

According to the commercials that stuff is supposed to make people like you, especially chicks.

chaddsfarkprefect: According to the commercials that stuff is supposed to make people like you, especially chicks.

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do it's something unusual.

scottydoesntknow: "Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the William Power way!"

"Isn't that the wrong way?"

"Yeah, but faster!"

Oh man, I haven't had Thai food in a while.

And my friends tell me not to put so much stock in Midsomer Murders. Next they'll be telling me you don't say "what ho" and "jolly good" over there.

Came for Shaun and Floyd, leaving doubly satisfied quickly so I can read more stuff!!

How is a guy without a shirt "naked"?

gshepnyc: How is a guy without a shirt "naked"?

I give up. How?

Okay, who ordered the red rum?

kid_icarus: gshepnyc: How is a guy without a shirt "naked"?

I give up. How?

Exuberance.

The blond chick on the right.

I kinda have to side with crazy axe dude on this one. If people were actually breaking my fence down and cutting through my yard, I would be pretty darn pissed off.

That stated, there are a few things I might have tried first, such as:

1. Spreading pig manure to about a 6-inch depth in trenches crossing the route of trespass. With luck, they would result in someone tripping into a full-length shiatting.
2. Prominent signs on the fence announcing the creation of a local paintball arena, followed by some pleasant target shooting from the porch on Friday and Saturday evenings.
3. Tolls. Set up a little tollbooth in the yard and charge 20 GBP to cross. Use CCTV to identify toll jumpers, and prosecute rigorously

Also, caltrops would have been a much more effective deterrent. Just sayin.

Just hire two hookers and play Huey Lewis or Genesis on the jukebox - that'll distract him until the police arrive.

Southern U.S. response

"Hey guys, you have your guns?"

"which one ya want?"

I'm with Tillerman35 on this one. There's other ways to deter than actually chasing the people, just sounds like this guy lost his cool unfortunately...

For example, neighbor's kids were cutting across my lawn, for some reason, in a 3 foot swath to the sidewalk. Some with bikes, one was training to join the Army or something. All it took was me standing on the porch staring at them when they did it, and they stopped. Which is good, because step 2 involved planting thorny bushes there.

ladyfortuna: I'm with Tillerman35 on this one. There's other ways to deter than actually chasing the people, just sounds like this guy lost his cool unfortunately...

For example, neighbor's kids were cutting across my lawn, for some reason, in a 3 foot swath to the sidewalk. Some with bikes, one was training to join the Army or something. All it took was me standing on the porch staring at them when they did it, and they stopped. Which is good, because step 2 involved planting thorny bushes there.

two words: tiger pit.

Why did they lock themselves in pub if they had axe? Theres only a naked man outside...

CygnusDarius: James!: That's going to be my excuse for not leaving the bar from now on.
"Can't go, naked man with an axe. Let's order another round."

That excuse is as good as any.

"Zombie apocalypse, let's order a round"

"Nuclear bomb. I hear alcohol helps you against radiation"

"The Rapture happened. Cheers!"

"Ragnarok is here. Time to break out the mead!"

THIS