"Dammit, man! Drilling holes in the man's head is not the answer! The artery needs to be repaired!"

"Dialysis?! What is this, the god-damned Dark Ages?"

SavageWombat: "Dammit, man! Drilling holes in the man's head is not the answer! The artery needs to be repaired!"

Shiat I was too late

In the future, doctors will use a Star Trek transporter to beam out that can of Pepsi you got stuck up your colon.

Well we can always go back to using witch doctors and leaches

TV's Vinnie: In the future, doctors will use a Star Trek transporter to beam out that can of Pepsi you got stuck up your colon.

Yo, dawg, we heard you like cans, so we put a can in your can.

"Chemotherapy impacts all of the body's rapidly dividing cells, ravishing the digestive tract and bone marrow as it destroys cancer cells."

I am pretty sure the author meant to write 'ravaging'.....but that put an image in my head that just won't leave.

#1: Not letting people die when they get old and don't want to live anymore.

but I chose ESB not for it sharing an acronym with my favorite Star Wars movie
"Blasphemy..."
"All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets."

Electroshock Therapy comes to mind before donating blood.

One passes 600 watts of current through your brain to induce a seizure (The seizure being what makes the patient better. We still don't know why, but any way of inducing an Grand Mal Seizure will do the trick. Shocking is apparently the least harmful.)

The other Pokes you with a needle and drains off some blood.

WeMLWS: "Chemotherapy impacts all of the body's rapidly dividing cells, ravishing the digestive tract and bone marrow as it destroys cancer cells."

I am pretty sure the author meant to write 'ravaging'.....but that put an image in my head that just won't leave.

This whole article is full of errors, medical and typographical, starting with the very first item on the list. I guess it's easier to be disingenuous and paste a stock photo than it is to research and find out that lightweight portable oxygen tanks, while perhaps not applicable in all situations, have actually been developed.

FTFA:

"Need blood? Well let's look in the blood bank and grab some that hopefully matches your type."

Well, I'd sure hope it matches my type. Because otherwise, you know, death. Does this author really mean to imply that blood typing is some kind of farking guessing game?

Yeah, yeah, it's io9; what do I expect? Well, not further misinforming people who will never bother to fact-check is a good start, but hey, who needs facts.

LASIK?

Had my son circumcised.

Suck if future!

The photo is WAY over cooked. It is like someone made their first HDR and got carried away.


Cool location though.

Russ1642: Tell me I'm not the only one who finds all Gawker sites broken on Android browsers. Once the page fully loads I can't scroll. I don't understand how geek oriented websites can have such poor design. Same goes for Slashdot but that's a different matter.

Slashdot isn't poorly designed! It was designed expertly by everyone in the community at the same time while never defining common standards for everyone to work for! It is the most perfect of websites ever because it's open source and hosted from a linux box in the antarctic, where it can frollic with the other penguins.

If you have a problem with Slashdot. You should just crack open the .conf files and fix the problem yourself. It's easy if you bothered to read the documentation. I should know. I'm an engineer with a degree in computer science. That makes me the same as God!

Gawker networks have just sucked ever since they got bought out and they redesigned their sites. They probably use Windows, those luddites. Don't they know this year is the year of Linux on the everything! All we have to do is beat this big square peg into this little round hole!

/posted like a slashdot user.

Russ1642: Tell me I'm not the only one who finds all Gawker sites broken on Android browsers. Once the page fully loads I can't scroll. I don't understand how geek oriented websites can have such poor design. Same goes for Slashdot but that's a different matter.

Oh, me too. I was just coming to make the same comment. Fark Gawker, and fark these links.

PleaseHamletDon'tHurtEm: hey, who needs facts.

This should be like the whole Gawker network's motto.

Gawker network: Who needs facts!

I imagine that future survivors of the superbacteria created by over-prescribed antibiotics will think that constantly prescribing them as a placebo to treat viruses was the most ignorant and short-sighted thing today's doctors do en masse.

Suck IT future, now the future will laugh forever at my typo :(

Would circumcision be not included because we already find it barbaric?

Russ1642: Tell me I'm not the only one who finds all Gawker sites broken on Android browsers. Once the page fully loads I can't scroll. I don't understand how geek oriented websites can have such poor design. Same goes for Slashdot but that's a different matter.

It is! Also it's thousands of times worse in greader or any similar android RSS app!

dababler: Russ1642: Tell me I'm not the only one who finds all Gawker sites broken on Android browsers. Once the page fully loads I can't scroll. I don't understand how geek oriented websites can have such poor design. Same goes for Slashdot but that's a different matter.

It is! Also it's thousands of times worse in greader or any similar android RSS app!

I'm able to read it fine using my custom compiled lynx binary for android.

On the list of all the things I could possibly be angry at my parents for doing, circumcising me just doesn't even register. If clipping off a little piece of vestigial skin is barbaric, then I'm with the barbarians.

You mean medical technology will allow us to live longer?

fluffy2097: 600 watts of current

Idiot.

serial_crusher: What do you mean save it? Like put it in a jar, or maybe something more creative like making a necklace out of it?

circumcision is barbaric

Quantum Apostrophe: Idiot.

Grammar nazi is here to save the day!

If you don't understand why my statement was wrong, it doesn't matter because you have no understanding anyways.
If you understand why my statement was wrong, it doesn't matter, because you knew what I meant.

Either way, you're nothing but a giant douche.

/woooosh!

Pocket_Fisherman: Had my son circumcised.

Suck if future!

Then you suck.

And here is the future.

imontheinternet: I imagine that future survivors of the superbacteria created by over-prescribed antibiotics will think that constantly prescribing them as a placebo to treat viruses was the most ignorant and short-sighted thing today's doctors do en masse.

I think the problem is not so much placebo-prescription as misdiagnosing viral infections as bacterial. Forget where I read that though. I believe it was research showing that antibiotics are not (statistically) effective at treating ear infections, explained as most ear-infection diagnoses actually being colds.

Has anyone argued yet that circumcision is already considered barbaric?

I didn't realize it was too much to ask for dentists with frickin' laser beams on their drills.

Xetal: #1: Not letting people die when they get old and don't want to live anymore.

+1

I've ordered my husband to take me to the old people murder center in Switzerland if I get to a point where I can't wipe my own arse.

Russ1642: fluffy2097: Russ1642: Tell me I'm not the only one who finds all Gawker sites broken on Android browsers. Once the page fully loads I can't scroll. I don't understand how geek oriented websites can have such poor design. Same goes for Slashdot but that's a different matter.

Slashdot isn't poorly designed! It was designed expertly by everyone in the community at the same time while never defining common standards for everyone to work for! It is the most perfect of websites ever because it's open source and hosted from a linux box in the antarctic, where it can frollic with the other penguins.

If you have a problem with Slashdot. You should just crack open the .conf files and fix the problem yourself. It's easy if you bothered to read the documentation. I should know. I'm an engineer with a degree in computer science. That makes me the same as God!

Gawker networks have just sucked ever since they got bought out and they redesigned their sites. They probably use Windows, those luddites. Don't they know this year is the year of Linux on the everything! All we have to do is beat this big square peg into this little round hole!

/posted like a slashdot user.

Linux users always take the "if you want something done right then do it yourself" approach. They must orgasm everytime they use the self-checkout lane and don't have to deal with other humans.

Self-checkout lines are so much better. The computers are terribly pedantic and biatchy, but at least you don't have to deal with the checkout people farking up your groceries, and the lines are usually way way shorter.

/Linux user

Abner Doon: Self-checkout lines are so much better. The computers are terribly pedantic and biatchy, but at least you don't have to deal with the checkout people farking up your groceries, and the lines are usually way way shorter.

/Linux user

I'd rather not bother a human with checking out my groceries (or anything else when possible), but I find the self-checkout computers' pedanticness annoying. Plus I'm a heck of a lot slower than a human cashier.

/also Linux user

11. Billing

jigger: Pocket_Fisherman: Had my son circumcised.

Suck if future!

Then you suck.

And here is the future.

What? That site reads like a poorly translated Taiwanese warning label on a box of bleach.

I don't recall any elective surgeries making the list. Like having your ribs broken for a thinner waistline or having botulism injected into your face. That sounds medieval now.

Pleurodesis comes to mind. I thought it sounded barbaric at the time, but I also realized it wouldn't even have been possible 70 years ago. And so far it has been a successful, if painful, solution.

I don't get the circumcision hate. I snipped 3 today, none of them complained. Hell I went back and had a bit more of mine trimmed for cosmetic purposes. Looks like a roosters comb now.

Russ1642: Tell me I'm not the only one who finds all Gawker sites broken.

You are correct sir!

While one can schedule an induction or cesarean section; close, outpatient monitoring of hormone levels would give better insight into the exact moment a bundle of joy is coming.

No. Just no. You can do that now and it's all sorts of farked up. Cesarian is anything but healthy.

Nothing orthopedic on the list? Orthopods are a waste of a good doctor. They only accept the best and then turn them into glorified carpenters. Hammering, nailing, drilling away until stuff 'mostly fits'. I can't wait for a day when if I tear an ACL again I get an injection of nanites into the knee and they go about repairing everything.

Barbaric? Nothing like frontal lobotomies.