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(Fark)   Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest: Geek tab headlines   (fark.com) divider line 49
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5257 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Dec 2011 at 1:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2011-12-21 01:11:16 PM
Last Friday, Fark ran its annual Headline of the Year contest, which we're running a bit ahead of schedule this year (I know, it's messing with those of you who expect it the last week of the year). This week we're running the Headline of the Year contest for the subtabs. These are the 20 top-voted headlines for the entertainment tab for 2011.
 
2011-12-21 01:11:43 PM
Quantum cryptography may or may not be secure, which makes sense when you think about it

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5820932
 
2011-12-21 01:12:20 PM
Astronomers see star spewing material out of both ends. Must be in the constellation of Tequila

http://www.fark.com/comments/6088973
 
2011-12-21 01:12:40 PM
Mercury poisoning can make you gay. Hgs for everyone

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5793394
 
2011-12-21 01:12:59 PM
"We've created 18 atoms of anti-helium" say giggling scientists with super deep voices

http://www.fark.com/comments/6144277
 
2011-12-21 01:14:02 PM
Gene fights cancer, but also causes cancer. What the hell is your problem, Gene?

http://www.fark.com/comments/6210591
 
2011-12-21 01:14:22 PM
 Full set of teeth successfully grown in lab, scientists awarded with plaque 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6381911 
 
2011-12-21 01:14:41 PM
Spiders suffer from human impact, according to Rolled-Up Newspaper University 

http://www.fark.com/comments/6235431
 
2011-12-21 01:15:38 PM
Under certain circumstances, Jell-O hooked up to an electroencephalograph can display readings similar to human brain. Which explains the Politics tab

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5859851
 
2011-12-21 01:15:59 PM
Google: Bing has been copying Google's search results. Bing: Bing has been copying Google's search results

http://www.fark.com/comments/5923641
 
2011-12-21 01:16:14 PM
Bone fragment believed to be from Amelia Earhart discovered on remote Pacific Island. However, some don't think it's her atoll

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5816292
 
2011-12-21 01:16:30 PM
The 10 best cars for audiophiles. I thought a full sized Dodge van with no windows...oh, AUDIOphiles, nevermind

http://www.fark.com/comments/6221895
 
2011-12-21 01:17:05 PM
 How to Become a Beekeeper. Well, 1. Get some bees, and 2. Keep them 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6386009 
 
2011-12-21 01:17:27 PM
 Scientists say they have a special fluid that can magically rebuild damaged teeth. Subby was using that line back in college during the 90s 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6508374 
 
2011-12-21 01:17:44 PM
 Understanding alcohol's braining effects on the damage 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6301606 
 
2011-12-21 01:18:01 PM
 Passive-walking robot can stroll downhill forever with no power source. I've got one of those, too. It's called a Slinky

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6682116 
 
2011-12-21 01:18:16 PM
 Family, friends search for bipolar man last seen between Arctic and Antarctic 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6670166 
 
2011-12-21 01:18:35 PM
The BlackBerry PlayBook has finally been rooted using something called DingleBerry. Of course, this following the near wipeout of RIM has caused subby to feel a bit tainted 

http://www.fark.com/comments/6773178 
 
2011-12-21 01:18:54 PM
 1TB vaccine shows promise, stores lots of porn 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6538246 
 
2011-12-21 01:19:11 PM
 Research shows oral sex may be leading cause of mouth/throat cancer. SOMEONE NEEDS THEIR FUNDING PULLED

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6623186 
 
2011-12-21 01:21:57 PM
Argentina and Chile say they have too many beavers, look to neighbor Brazil for ideas on how to shave their numbers

http://www.fark.com/comments/6307693
 
2011-12-21 01:22:52 PM
TFers, if you missed the preliminary threads, here they are:

First quarter
Second quarter
Third quarter
Fourth quarter
 
2011-12-21 01:35:33 PM
A few extra headlines that I liked that didn't quite make the cut but deserve an honorable mention:

Nobel prize winning scientist claims to have proof that DNA can transport itself across short distances, although it reaches further if you have a quick rest between experiments
http://www.fark.com/comments/5881801

New study claims drinking water can help you lose weight. Best results noted if you're on vacation in Mexico
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5853840

Scientists succeed in making a paper clip invisible, hope to eventually be able to trade up to making a house in Saskatchewan vanish
http://www.fark.com/comments/5927541

Why some people have meltdowns during the holiday season and what HEY. YOU FINISH READING THIS HEADLINE BEFORE GOING TO THE NEXT ONE. I SAID FINISH IT
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5824756

Device creates fuel from sunlight. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that World of Warcraft players didn't invent this
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5848115

How big something appears to you depends on the size of the brain area necessary for vision - as well as the size of her hands
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5805219

Scientists see the far side of the Sun for the first time, spot cows standing up, giant insects, blah blah blah Ginger
http://www.fark.com/comments/5935168

DARPA's brain-controlled robotic arm fast-tracked, could be available in four years, self aware in five, crushing human skulls in seven
http://www.fark.com/comments/5966246

Study shows that whipping horses doesn't make them run any faster, remember their safe words any better
http://www.fark.com/comments/5946374

So graphene was all "I'm the strongest material ever, and won the Nobel Prize", but then molybdenite was all, "Yeah but I'm a semiconductor, biatch"
http://www.fark.com/comments/5943498

Scientists reveal that of the great apes, orangutans are the most genetically distant from humans, closest to Paul Giamatti
http://www.fark.com/comments/5918960

The next Mars rover will carry a laser. YOU HEAR THAT, MARTIANS?
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5848115

Lo ks l ke the Veriz n iPho e 4 has somethin in co mon wit the AT& iPho e 4
http://www.fark.com/comments/5990948

Scientists finally finish sequencing Tasmanian devil DNA. There were no survivors
http://www.fark.com/comments/6335069

Six-year-old Croatian boy has magnetic powers. Local residents don't recognize him, think he might be a Pole
http://www.fark.com/comments/6193417

Scientists discover bacteria strain that kills blood-suckers. The sparkling. Ends. Now.
http://www.fark.com/comments/6221268

Full 3-D invisibility cloak in visible light will soon be revealed, according to empty podium with microphone
http://www.fark.com/comments/6151298

1,716 Sony PlayStation 3s have been combined to create the only supercomputer that can't get online
http://www.fark.com/comments/6146729

2011: CERN physicists successfully preserve antimatter for 17 minutes. 2021: CERN physicists threaten to blow up the planet if their demands aren't met
http://www.fark.com/comments/6167259

The modern bikini introduced 65 years ago by French designer. Undoubtedly the best navel experiment of all times
http://www.fark.com/comments/6226048

Here's a chess set that really helps you focus on your game--it's composed entirely of Canon and Nikon lenses. Bishop to ƒ/8
http://www.fark.com/comments/6418025

Existence of Higgs Boson downgraded from 'honest politician' to 'female orgasm'
http://www.fark.com/comments/6498966

Georgia Tech engineers make vibrating glove that enhances sense of touch, says nearly blind spokesman while complaining about pain in his groin and hair on his palms 
http://www.fark.com/comments/6452068

New study says "death star" is a myth. Tell that to the people of Alderaan
http://www.fark.com/comments/6462869

Supermice have achieved resistance to all poisons, hope to complete their project before the Vogons arrive
http://www.fark.com/comments/6466253

University of Michigan creates world's fastest running robot. Forget Sarah Connor, get it a helmet and a playbook
http://www.fark.com/comments/6480426

Astronomers discover "Super Earth", which may have liquid water, a population made up entirely of superheroes, and one ordinary guy who's a little fed up with being saved all the time
http://www.fark.com/comments/6555110

Innovative start-up company employs an entirely autistic workforce. Wait, didn't Bill Gates already do this?
http://www.fark.com/comments/6583239

Is_dead($who) { return(strcmp($who, 'Dennis Ritchie')); }
http://www.fark.com/comments/6640676

Researchers discover hypnosis is a fundamentally different mental state than normal consciousneALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
http://www.fark.com/comments/6728815

Dutch graphic artist designs font for dyslexics to reab detter 
http://www.fark.com/comments/6709229

Research finds blood type affects risk of stroke. Most in danger are people whose blood type is either AB, B or Slurpee
http://www.fark.com/comments/6744057

Thieves steal 6,000 copies of Modern Warfare 3 after slamming into a delivery truck and tossing tear gas, earn enough XP to reach Level 50
http://www.fark.com/comments/6713230
 
2011-12-21 01:36:12 PM
Final note, we also ran contests yesterday for Headline of the Year on the Sports subtab and the Entertainment subtab. Voting is still open on those.
 
2011-12-21 01:46:24 PM
Lot of good ones here.
 
2011-12-21 01:49:49 PM
wow, the geek tab really nailed it this year. solid gold in there.
 
2011-12-21 01:53:38 PM
vote
 
2011-12-21 02:03:20 PM
Meh, only one made me LOL so that got my vote.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-12-21 02:08:39 PM
the geek tab really nailed it this year

Unlike geek tab submitters who didn't get to nail anything.
 
2011-12-21 02:10:24 PM
I'm impressed. I was expecting all bad puns and sci-fi references.

./or will those just be the winners?
 
2011-12-21 02:11:15 PM

ZAZ: the geek tab really nailed it this year

Unlike geek tab submitters who didn't get to nail anything.


Ohsnap!.jpeg
 
2011-12-21 02:17:13 PM
I thought this category was super "meh", especially when stacked up against the Sports and Entertainment where there were a ton of good ones. The spider, audiophile, and teeth fluid all got a chuckle out of me, but not as many strong contenders here.
 
2011-12-21 02:21:14 PM
Being a science nerd myself, I actually wasn't expecting much, but I must admit I was surprised. Some of the ones in here are the best I have seen so far. Mucho envotination was actuated.
 
2011-12-21 02:27:37 PM
Beekeper. If that doesn't deserve an award, nothing does.
 
2011-12-21 02:30:13 PM
Got some good laughs, then had to explain to my boss that Fark is not a porn site. Thanks for that.
 
2011-12-21 02:35:30 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: Quantum cryptography may or may not be secure, which makes sense when you think about it


This headline collapsed my laugh function.
 
2011-12-21 02:36:35 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: Quantum cryptography may or may not be secure, which makes sense when you think about it

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5820932


My life is now complete.
 
2011-12-21 02:42:43 PM
This proves once agian that geeks are not funny
 
2011-12-21 03:10:09 PM
*hmm slelect all*

I'm Finished!
 
2011-12-21 03:12:46 PM
"Nobel prize winning scientist claims to have proof that DNA can transport itself across short distances, although it reaches further if you have a quick rest between experiments"

Someone owes me a new keyboard...
 
2011-12-21 03:48:57 PM

ZAZ: the geek tab really nailed it this year

Unlike geek tab submitters who didn't get to nail anything.


zing! parry! riposte! en garde!

Smiths: This proves once agian that geeks are not funny


oh come on. the beekeeper one was good. the typical stuff like the dain bramage alcohol one and the dyslexia one earned votes too. you didn't crack a smile at the 'atoll' pun and the poles joke? you must be sooooo fo-sisticated.
 
2011-12-21 04:49:21 PM

Bruxellensis: Headline of the Year candidate: Quantum cryptography may or may not be secure, which makes sense when you think about it

This headline collapsed my laugh function.


Nice!
 
2011-12-21 05:32:24 PM
How to Become a Beekeeper. Well, 1. Get some bees, and 2. Keep them

It's easy. I stick mine on the ceiling with peanut butter.
 
2011-12-21 06:53:16 PM
Great stuff in this bunch!

When I saw the anti-helium headline in this lineup, though, I thought for sure that that one was gonna run away with the votes. I laughed so damn hard at that one.
 
2011-12-21 06:58:14 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: Under certain circumstances, Jell-O hooked up to an electroencephalograph can display readings similar to human brain. Which explains the Politics tab

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5859851


I like this one.
 
2011-12-21 08:07:39 PM
These were great. I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud while sitting in a Subway Sandwich store.
 
2011-12-22 06:26:44 AM
Not bad. For a bunch of virgins.
 
2011-12-22 09:58:51 AM
Sorry to see the Tazmanian Devil DNA one was not votable.

Definitely some good ones this year.
 
2011-12-24 03:07:35 PM
Thanks for the honorable mention. Grats/kudos/steak and BJs to the winnars.

/supermice
 
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