My fav is the Xmas stand you put the pine tree in - the water absorbs the pine sap and young kids and pets can drink out of it...

**AAACK!!!**

Of course Death works on Christmas, especially this year, with it falling on weekend it's like quintuple overtime pay.

gopher321: My fav is the Xmas stand you put the pine tree in - the water absorbs the pine sap and young kids and pets can drink out of it...

**AAACK!!!**

Put that water in a top-shelf gin bottle, and it makes great cocktails for the uncle that no one likes.

Jerusalem Cherry. All parts of this plant are toxic and can be harmful if swallowed.

is there any other type?

I think that's "missiletoe."

In our kitchen, we have really sharp knives. Ginsu quality at least

I'm pretty sure there was camel toe inn the manger.

UPDATE: Living will kill you.

"The kiss of death. That's all I need."

Red Ryder lightning action BB gun. The cause behind many an eye being shot out.

I really have to wonder about some of our holiday trappings. Deck the halls with boughs of Holly? Why, so your kids will eat it and die? Kissing under the mistletoe, which is poisonous. Are you saying something about love here? Foreshadowing the plague maybe? Good Lord we are some pretty dark creatures.

Phantom Rider BB action lightning gun. Time is everlasting, but nothing outlasts time.

Mugato: *Alcoholic beverages. Alcoholic-based drinks, such as vodka and cranberry juice, can often be mistaken for juice by a child

That sounds hilarious.

I can see how that would be fatal. Any child stealing my vodka risks getting beaten to death.


ten foiled hats: I think that's "missiletoe."

Don't forget:



The salmon mousse!

Mugato: *Alcoholic beverages. Alcoholic-based drinks, such as vodka and cranberry juice, can often be mistaken for juice by a child

That sounds hilarious.

As a child (5th grade?) I was at a party with my parents, a holiday party. There was grasshopper pie. For people not familiar with this dessert, it has alcohol in it. I didn't know that, and neither did my parents. Some idiot (or angel, depending on your POV) put it on the same table as all the other desserts.

Well, as the evening progressed, the kids turned to the desert table and DECIMATED it, while the parents were all playing mahjong or something like that. Not one adult had touched the grasshopper pie and tasted its sweet, sweet alcoholic goodness.

I got drunk as a skunk, along with my brother who is about a year older than me. The best part is, I had a sleepover to go to afterwards, so my parents dropped me off while being sure the parents at the sleepover were OK with a drunken 11/12-year-old at their party. For some reason, they were OK with it (in retrospect, they probably thought it was hilarious).

/CSB

elev8meL8r: gopher321: My fav is the Xmas stand you put the pine tree in - the water absorbs the pine sap and young kids and pets can drink out of it...

**AAACK!!!**

Put that water in a top-shelf gin bottle, and it makes great cocktails for the uncle that no one likes.

As someone who actually likes gin, even I have to point out that that there is some funny shiat.

The lead tinsel is the only stuff that hangs/shines correctly on the tree.



/lawn. off it.

MasterYong: grasshopper pie

On a related note: doing straight shots of creme de menthe is a recipe for green diarrhea, minty fresh farts.

Rufus Lee King: The lead tinsel is the only stuff that hangs/shines correctly on the tree.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 418x418]

/lawn. off it.

Exactly right. The "safe" modern plastic tinsel gets all static clingy and sticks to any anything but the tree. Tho it kinda makes me wonder what would happen if it were possible to connect a modernly tinseled tree to a Van De Graaff generator...

Mog32Kupo: [upload.wikimedia.org image 540x340]

They did in an episode, made hell for the Reapers though

/no post it's
//obscure?
Again, nothing is obscure here.
on another note, would definitely "reap" her!

At first Bill Door was able to be a farm hand, cutting hay in the high meadow, albeit in his own particular way - one blade of grass at a time.

TLDR version:

Living is a threat to life.

so a list of stuff that most of us with half a brain already know are dangerous and would normally either keep or educate the little ankle biters to stay away from. oh thank you great and powerful poison control center for keeping us safe.

on an unrelated note, my grandmother who died back in the late 90's used to tell us kids stories of how they got rid of unwanted stray animals years ago involving mistletoe. take the berries and grind them up in food and set it out for the dogs or cats to eat and voila no more strays. it sounds terrible but this is coming from a woman who stayed in Oklahoma during the Great Depression when the rest of her family relocated to southern California because she didn't want to give up the land that her family had.
on another note, mistletoe is the state flower of Oklahoma because (boring history story coming up) back when it was "Indian Territory" some guy's wife passed away and there were no flowers to decorate the grave with. One of his friends could only find mistletoe and that is what they used. The friend promised that when the territory was made a state he would see what he could do to commemorate this and when Oklahoma became a state, this guy became the first governor and thus, made mistletoe our state flower.
/or something to that effect I tried to pay attention in class I really did.

You know what else can kill you during the holidays?

NAKED GRANDMA!

Every holiday has horror stories; July 4th - fireworks, Halloween - poison candy, etc. I wonder, what is deadliest holiday?

I be having a panic attack.

blackmtnmantheonly: I be having a panic attack.

Well, I can't blame you. What's up with all this white snow layin' around, anyway!?!

Aww c'mon guys, nary a mention of holiday depression??? Ain't this the Hap-Hap-Happiest time of year? Or the ever popular Seasonal Affective Disorder-not enough sunshine to keep us happy? H@ll our own brains/biochemistry is friggin' scary enough to have quite a few of us taking that mighty swan dive off the 13th floor, drinking into a coma state, jumping in front of trains, heroin, lots of sleeping pills just to off set our brain/biochemistry frazzeled state this time of year claims lots of lives.

/Slashies!
//Just not the wrists!

Well, this just ruins my plans to serve Christmas decorations for dinner.

They can take my bubble lights from my cold dead tree! Seriously, if you are dumb enough to break the lights and drink the liquid, humanity will be better off without you.

I actually don't have bubble lights this year. My last set ended up getting busted when we took it down last year. Next year I've got to at least get a bubble light candolier. And maybe set the tree on fire with some good old C9 size bulbs. Unless there are some good LED Christmas lights that don't have that blue undertone.

As for tinsel, I haven't had that on the tree for the past 15 years. It's too attractive to pets. But, I am old enough to remember the worst Holiday hazard. The spun glass angel hair. Anyone remember that? So white and pretty and then you touch it, thinking that it will be soft. And you end up with a hand full microscopic glass pieces that will never come out.

Poinsettias might be non-toxic to humans, but it will probably kill your dog or cat if they eat it.

Super glue packaging, often used for holiday crafts, can resemble eye drops.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

Little Billy is so wired from eating candy all day he's bouncing around the room like a gibbon. Until somebody finally has enough sense to pour a couple of shots of bourbon in his pepsi. That'll take the spring outta his knees tout suite.

Skip to 2:13

None of these sound like a problem you'll have for people who don't eat decorations.

*Super glue. Super glue packaging, often used for holiday crafts, can resemble eye drops.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

The fun part about pets eating tinsel is slowly pulling it out of their behinds afterwards.

/so glad my parents left the tinsel in the 80s.

Gyrfalcon: Hester Prynne: The fun part about pets eating tinsel is slowly pulling it out of their behinds afterwards.

/so glad my parents left the tinsel in the 80s.

That's way more than I needed to know about you, thanks.

Sarcasm much? It's gross.