FARK.com: (6834410) Is there anything more distinctly American than hilariously awful family holiday photos? No, there is not

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		Is there anything more distinctly American than hilariously awful family holiday photos? No, there is not (uproxx.com)		110
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110 Comments (+0 »)

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Walker

2011-12-21 09:18:52 AM

Yikes. Good thing my co-workers didn't see that first pic that popped up. Might have been fired for borderline child porn.

Ennuipoet

2011-12-21 09:19:41 AM

Merry Gothmas!

calm like a bomb

2011-12-21 09:24:43 AM

GIS for awkward Christmas photo:

www.11points.com

That must have been some party.

Quantum Apostrophe

2011-12-21 09:24:43 AM

Wow, how did a middle-aged paunchy schlub score a chick like that?

Crudbucket

2011-12-21 09:27:07 AM

Ennuipoet: [cdn.uproxx.com image 489x600]
Merry Gothmas!

1. I was goth in the 1980s (when it REALLY existed), and no, it didn't look like vampires, The Crow, or any of the stupid face-painted crap today. Goth looked like punk with more black, less dayglo, and a penchant for monochrome stripes or classic clothing. Eric Draven wasn't goth, Allison (the basketcase) from the move The Breakfast Club was goth.

2. That fat blob of goo in the photo is NOT GOTH. Those are Juggalos. Please please please do not confuse Juggalos with goths. They're nothing alike and they're a couple generations apart.

3. Goth does not exist today, nor has it since the early 1990s. What exists today is something else that is often mistaken for being goth by younger people who don't realize that goth was an era, not a fashion choice. It was a subculture based on creativity (and filled primarily with artists), and NOT something you could buy at the mall. If you wear it without making it or altering it yourself, it's not goth; It's mall-punk, at best. It's cheap-ass vampire baby at worst. It's emo leftovers at Hot Topic at very worst.

cherryl taggart

2011-12-21 09:27:33 AM

I want to know black-eyed Santa's back story. The rest are just too scary.

GacysBasement

2011-12-21 09:29:36 AM

#11--why is there a picture of justin Timberlake?

EliminateNinniesAndTwits

2011-12-21 09:30:03 AM

Those were amazing. But the one with the guilty looking kid sitting in the chair and a little
bit behind him is a box with an arm (doll's arm, presumably) sticking out - wow. Also,
scary Santa on pic 42 - creepy.

Sandor at the Zoo

2011-12-21 09:30:08 AM

Well, that just depressed the shiat out of me.

GacysBasement

2011-12-21 09:30:45 AM

Crudbucket: Ennuipoet: [cdn.uproxx.com image 489x600]
Merry Gothmas!

1. I was goth in the 1980s (when it REALLY existed), and no, it didn't look like vampires, The Crow, or any of the stupid face-painted crap today. Goth looked like punk with more black, less dayglo, and a penchant for monochrome stripes or classic clothing. Eric Draven wasn't goth, Allison (the basketcase) from the move The Breakfast Club was goth.

2. That fat blob of goo in the photo is NOT GOTH. Those are Juggalos. Please please please do not confuse Juggalos with goths. They're nothing alike and they're a couple generations apart.

3. Goth does not exist today, nor has it since the early 1990s. What exists today is something else that is often mistaken for being goth by younger people who don't realize that goth was an era, not a fashion choice. It was a subculture based on creativity (and filled primarily with artists), and NOT something you could buy at the mall. If you wear it without making it or altering it yourself, it's not goth; It's mall-punk, at best. It's cheap-ass vampire baby at worst. It's emo leftovers at Hot Topic at very worst.

You think too much about nonsense.

Fabric_Man

2011-12-21 09:30:58 AM

I think #19 is actually a promo photo from a short play called "the Figglehorns" or something like that. I saw it in Cinci a few years ago. Pretty funny.

gweilo8888

2011-12-21 09:31:00 AM

Crudbucket: 1. I was goth in the 1980s (when it REALLY existed), and no, it didn't look like vampires, The Crow, or any of the stupid face-painted crap today. Goth looked like punk with more black, less dayglo, and a penchant for monochrome stripes or classic clothing. Eric Draven wasn't goth, Allison (the basketcase) from the move The Breakfast Club was goth.

2. That fat blob of goo in the photo is NOT GOTH. Those are Juggalos. Please please please do not confuse Juggalos with goths. They're nothing alike and they're a couple generations apart.

3. Goth does not exist today, nor has it since the early 1990s. What exists today is something else that is often mistaken for being goth by younger people who don't realize that goth was an era, not a fashion choice. It was a subculture based on creativity (and filled primarily with artists), and NOT something you could buy at the mall. If you wear it without making it or altering it yourself, it's not goth; It's mall-punk, at best. It's cheap-ass vampire baby at worst. It's emo leftovers at Hot Topic at very worst. and still desperately believe I was "different" and "interesting", just like the gothbabies of today. Denial isn't just for Christmas, it lasts forever.

FTFY.

Somebody Else

2011-12-21 09:31:11 AM

Eww. Those pics are just horrible.
I can't look away...but I must.

VimFuego

2011-12-21 09:31:40 AM

"They want us to do another one at Easter -- they want to see us nail up the dog."

Crudbucket

2011-12-21 09:32:55 AM

GacysBasement: You think too much about nonsense.

It was posted in the "Jennifer Aniston was a goth thread from the other day." Not by me, but I'd like to see I was ______ in the 1980s (when it REALLY existed) enter the common vernacular.

talulahgosh

2011-12-21 09:33:51 AM

there's a lot of 'shopping going on in this pics. i like the real awkward ones better.

TheGrayCat

2011-12-21 09:34:26 AM

#26 - their holiday is filled with ennui. Even the dog was captured by the melancholy of the season...

Vodka Zombie

2011-12-21 09:36:14 AM

calm like a bomb: GIS for awkward Christmas photo:

[www.11points.com image 400x283]

That must have been some party.

Looks like someone didn't want to kneel before Zod this Christmas.

mitEj

2011-12-21 09:36:14 AM

those were awesome.

Desmo

2011-12-21 09:36:21 AM

Is #11 Justin Timberlake?
_{/Did I say that out loud?}

GacysBasement

2011-12-21 09:38:18 AM

Crudbucket: GacysBasement: You think too much about nonsense.

It was posted in the "Jennifer Aniston was a goth thread from the other day." Not by me, but I'd like to see I was ______ in the 1980s (when it REALLY existed) enter the common vernacular.

Got it.

imontheinternet

2011-12-21 09:39:31 AM

Santa's got a present for you in his van.

BokerBill

2011-12-21 09:39:57 AM

Crudbucket

2011-12-21 09:40:58 AM

imontheinternet: [cdn.uproxx.com image 570x760]

Santa's got a present for you in his van.

Hey, at least he really did have candy.

solokumba

2011-12-21 09:42:03 AM

*yawn*
there are much better ones out there...
go look.

babysealclubber

2011-12-21 09:42:26 AM

1. I was Santa in the 1980s (when it REALLY existed), and no, it didn't look like an old man wearing a horrible shade of Red, your grandpa, or any of the stupid face-painted crap today. Santa looked like a saint, with less fur, less red, and a penchant for monochrome robes or classic clothing. Eric Draven wasn't Santa..

2. That fat blob of goo in the photo is NOT SANTA. Those are Juggalos. Please please please do not confuse Juggalos with Santa. They're nothing alike and they're a couple generations apart.

3. Santa does not exist today, nor has he since the early 1990s. What exists today is something else that is often mistaken for being Santa by younger people who don't realize that Santa was an era, not a fashion choice. It was a subculture based on creativity (and filled primarily with elves), and NOT something you could buy at the mall. If you wear it without making it or altering it yourself, it's not Santa; It's mall-Santa, at best. It's cheap-ass elf baby at worst. It's emo leftovers at Hot Topic at very worst.

/eh, that's all I got

vook

2011-12-21 09:43:56 AM

Vacation was an awesome movie. The Oxenfeldts were hilarious.

the_rev

2011-12-21 09:44:56 AM

"And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger, chewing on a snausage."

theknuckler_33

2011-12-21 09:47:11 AM

This is obviously staged.... but the cheetos were a nice touch.

RugNug

2011-12-21 09:47:22 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Wow, how did a middle-aged paunchy schlub score a chick like that?

Haven't you ever seen the Simpsons or Family Guy?

Sock Ruh Tease

2011-12-21 09:48:25 AM

Walker: Yikes. Good thing my co-workers didn't see that first pic that popped up. Might have been fired for borderline child porn.

I'm surprised this didn't happen to Mom and Dad.

i.imgur.com

theknuckler_33

2011-12-21 09:51:10 AM

The son of "DANGER! Giant Penis" shirt wearing dad has a real good future to look forward to.

vook

2011-12-21 09:51:48 AM

I'm confused. Was that lady displaying the greatness of tupperware or her superior cookie-making skills? That was a really nice tupperware dish. Flame-retardant. Very spacious. 4-walled. Lid attachable.
But cookies can be good too. Such a poignant and thought-provoking moment captured for eternity.

intolerant jerk

2011-12-21 09:52:08 AM

I couldn't stop laughing at this one. Sure some would consider it pretty creepy but there's a touch of comedic genius in it too. That or I might have put a bit too much holiday cheer in my coffee this morning.

dennysgod

2011-12-21 09:52:56 AM

/they are only mildly amusing now.

Ennuipoet

2011-12-21 09:53:47 AM

Crudbucket: 1. I was goth

Really, that's all you have to say...we have sufficient information to form an opinion.

theknuckler_33

2011-12-21 09:53:49 AM

My wife is as barren as the Sahara!

squirrel_spam

2011-12-21 09:54:28 AM

Anyone ever notice any dog that appears in these photos always has a "for the love of God, help me!" look on its face?

dennysgod

2011-12-21 09:55:49 AM

oh man, this makes me all nostalgic for the mid 90's

ArcadianRefugee

2011-12-21 09:57:19 AM

The look on the dog's face is awesome. I can almost picture it mouthing, " ... help me ... for God's sake please somebody send help...".

theknuckler_33

2011-12-21 09:57:23 AM

Ahh, the mall Santa with a shiner... always a classic.

funk_soul_bubby

2011-12-21 09:59:22 AM

tut0101

2011-12-21 09:59:55 AM

Deslide-ified (new window)

KimNorth

2011-12-21 10:01:44 AM

GacysBasement: #11--why is there a picture of justin Timberlake?

Right?? That was him??

Lsherm

2011-12-21 10:03:30 AM

intolerant jerk: [cdn.uproxx.com image 500x333]

I couldn't stop laughing at this one. Sure some would consider it pretty creepy but there's a touch of comedic genius in it too. That or I might have put a bit too much holiday cheer in my coffee this morning.

I would totally steal that idea for a Christmas card. I have no shame. I'm also pretty sure that's something my dad would do.

theknuckler_33

2011-12-21 10:03:53 AM

vook: I'm confused. Was that lady displaying the greatness of tupperware or her superior cookie-making skills? That was a really nice tupperware dish. Flame-retardant. Very spacious. 4-walled. Lid attachable.
But cookies can be good too. Such a poignant and thought-provoking moment captured for eternity.

I thought she looked a bit like Victoria Jackson and pictured her saying "Thanks to Obama's socialism, all we are allowed to eat for 'winter holiday' are these 8 cookies!"

Caluth

2011-12-21 10:05:13 AM