I'm sure they'll make a killing from selling clean seat covers for $15/ea

I just threw up a bit thinking about a mass of old white pale flesh in the seat next to me.
/Yellow toenails and hard dry foot skin

The people who want to be nude on an airplane are not the people anyone wants to see nude on an airplane. Or anywhere.

jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)

The hell?


What's wrong with a nice set of flaps?

jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)

Wow. Flapping away in the wind. Just wow.

Yeah, but think of how quickly you'd get through security!

LeroyB: jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)

Wow. Flapping away in the wind. Just wow.

I'm at work and therefore NEVER click anything labeled as NSFW...

That being said, when i read the headline the first thing i imagined was a pick i found somewhere on the net of a chick's camel toe with her inner flaps dangling over the sides...

/shudder...

Hope the airline that does this keeps a steady stock of scotchguard.

I'm at an airport, so I'm .......

Looks around ....... mostly no. But a few yes's.

drjekel_mrhyde: I just threw up a bit thinking about a mass of old white pale flesh in the seat next to me.
/Yellow toenails and hard dry foot skin

Bathia_Mapes: Ugh! Imagine the skidmarks on the seats.

Now that I have those really gross images burned into my mind, I'm sorry that I quit doing amphetamines, drinking, sniffing glue and smoking.

jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)

I can only imagine what the audio would sound like.

pag1107: xanadian: jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)

Imagine a guy doing that. The flappage. OMG. :-(

She was holding her own. Honestly I was expecting two different parts of her anatomy to be flapping in the breeze.

Hers were really fake. Real ones distort rather oddly in that situation. Just do a GIS of "nude skydiving" with safe search off. Be prepared for the consequences, though ;)

jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)

The wind all blowing over it like the mouth of an empty beer bottle...wooooOOOOoooooeeeeEEoooooUUU!

xanadian: jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)


That's quite hypnotic. I was afraid you were going to post an inverted boobies picture.

What was that thing the sub had in Hunt For Red October? Caterpillar drive?


Imagine a guy doing that. The flappage. OMG. :-(


There are still photos of that somewhere. Basically your junk gets plastered up your ass crack.

Why are nudists always people you never want to see nude?

jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)

That is such a poor choice of footwear.

Con #1: the smell
Con #2: the sight (not all, I'll give you that)
Con #3: post-crash identification made harder

Pro #1: a lot less children (I hope for them)
Pro #2: funnier security leaflets
Pro #3: TSA takes a break, hopefully, otherwise it would become Con #1

Undertermined: depends if you're the person sitting at the windows seat or not, when that person needs a bathroom break.

jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)


The first thing that came to mind was a tiny-voiced rendition of "I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy" being sung as she spiraled around.

/// That will be stuck in my head all day now.

Imagine someone afraid of flying... you hit an air pocket... there nervous stomach and bowels react.... the seat pays without anything in between

I bet the stewardess would provide a smoking pre-flight

Good morning. ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome aboard Genitalia Air flight 493 bound for Taipei.
For your safety, all passengers are kindly requested to refrain from scratching, rubbing, picking, humping and pinching while in the cabin.
In case of a sudden drop in cabin pressure an erection might arise from the male passengers aboard. Please place the erection around your face and breath freely. Though the balls do not appear to inflate, everything is working properly.
A condom is in the pocket under your seat. To put it on, place it over your head. Clip on the waistband and pull it tight. Please do not inflate it while you are still inside the aircraft. An evacuation slide and life raft is at each door. Your crew will help as needed.

Probably be mud flaps. ewww.

"Big bottom big bottom"

/not obscure

While I was working for the FBI up in Quantico, a helicopter crashed in the Virginia mountains, killing all twenty-three men aboard. The chopper basically disintegrated, clear cutting a huge swath of trees from the hillside. Polanski and I were the first to hike up to the crash site, and as we approached Polanski said, pointing to the ground, "What the hell is that?" I picked it up. It was dick, blown off right at the base, so I put it in my pocket. We walked a little further. "What the hell is that?" I asked. Polanski bent down and picked it up, another dick, so he put it in his pocket. We canvased the site looking for any evidence as to the crash, but all we could find were dicks, no arms, legs, torsos, nothing but dicks. We filled up our pockets and hiked down to base camp where the relatives of the deceased were gathering. Polanski and I laid the dicks out on the hood of Crown Vic. The widows had to walk by and identify their loved one, which led to some disagreements. After everything was sorted out, there were a few dicks left over, so Polanski and I split them. When ever I get nostalgic for the old days, I pull out my box of dicks and just hold them, smiling as the memories flood back.

spentmiles: While I was working for the FBI up in Quantico, a helicopter crashed in the Virginia mountains, killing all twenty-three men aboard. The chopper basically disintegrated, clear cutting a huge swath of trees from the hillside. Polanski and I were the first to hike up to the crash site, and as we approached Polanski said, pointing to the ground, "What the hell is that?" I picked it up. It was dick, blown off right at the base, so I put it in my pocket. We walked a little further. "What the hell is that?" I asked. Polanski bent down and picked it up, another dick, so he put it in his pocket. We canvased the site looking for any evidence as to the crash, but all we could find were dicks, no arms, legs, torsos, nothing but dicks. We filled up our pockets and hiked down to base camp where the relatives of the deceased were gathering. Polanski and I laid the dicks out on the hood of Crown Vic. The widows had to walk by and identify their loved one, which led to some disagreements. After everything was sorted out, there were a few dicks left over, so Polanski and I split them. When ever I get nostalgic for the old days, I pull out my box of dicks and just hold them, smiling as the memories flood back.

So when I tell people to choke on a box full of dicks, I can point them your way?

Happy Hours: Yes, the bathrooms are small, but they're generally big enough. The one exception I can think of are the commuter jets that do short hops (can't remember the model, but I couldn't stand up in them.

I'm trying to recall what flight it was, I think it was Charleston to Atlanta, where the bathroom was not only smaller than a pantry, it was trapezoidal, with the wide end being the sink-side. Thus, there wasn't room for your knees if you were sitting on the john. Total human factors fail.

spentmiles: While I was working for the FBI up in Quantico, a helicopter crashed in the Virginia mountains, killing all twenty-three men aboard. The chopper basically disintegrated, clear cutting a huge swath of trees from the hillside. Polanski and I were the first to hike up to the crash site, and as we approached Polanski said, pointing to the ground, "What the hell is that?" I picked it up. It was dick, blown off right at the base, so I put it in my pocket. We walked a little further. "What the hell is that?" I asked. Polanski bent down and picked it up, another dick, so he put it in his pocket. We canvased the site looking for any evidence as to the crash, but all we could find were dicks, no arms, legs, torsos, nothing but dicks. We filled up our pockets and hiked down to base camp where the relatives of the deceased were gathering. Polanski and I laid the dicks out on the hood of Crown Vic. The widows had to walk by and identify their loved one, which led to some disagreements. After everything was sorted out, there were a few dicks left over, so Polanski and I split them. When ever I get nostalgic for the old days, I pull out my box of dicks and just hold them, smiling as the memories flood back.

It takes balls to tell a story like that.

Planes are usually cold. So you might have your manliness shrivel a bit.

And if kids fly on NudieAir the whole manifest is added to the sex offenders registry.

pjbreeze: Planes are usually cold. So you might have your manliness shrivel a bit.

And with the sight of forty pairs of cold-induced erect granny nips, that little rascal will be in hiding for at least a week. And then there's the return trip.

Please make sure your tray table is in the upright and locked po- Your tray table sir. YOUR TRAY TABLE!

spentmiles: While I was working for the FBI up in Quantico, a helicopter crashed in the Virginia mountains, killing all twenty-three men aboard. The chopper basically disintegrated, clear cutting a huge swath of trees from the hillside. Polanski and I were the first to hike up to the crash site, and as we approached Polanski said, pointing to the ground, "What the hell is that?" I picked it up. It was dick, blown off right at the base, so I put it in my pocket. We walked a little further. "What the hell is that?" I asked. Polanski bent down and picked it up, another dick, so he put it in his pocket. We canvased the site looking for any evidence as to the crash, but all we could find were dicks, no arms, legs, torsos, nothing but dicks. We filled up our pockets and hiked down to base camp where the relatives of the deceased were gathering. Polanski and I laid the dicks out on the hood of Crown Vic. The widows had to walk by and identify their loved one, which led to some disagreements. After everything was sorted out, there were a few dicks left over, so Polanski and I split them. When ever I get nostalgic for the old days, I pull out my box of dicks and just hold them, smiling as the memories flood back.

3 day ban
reason: joke wasnt funny.

i was waiting for a really good punchline

Brilliant idea. I was just thinking how the seats on the last SW flight I took were TOO clean.

Jake Havechek: Why are nudists always people you never want to see nude?

mainly because the lifestyle of nudism has very little with wanting to see other people nude and a lot to do with feeling comfortable in your own skin and for people like me just feeling much more comfortable relaxing, swimming, hot tubbing, or sitting and talking without the constraint of clothing. want to see good looking nude people? go to a strip club.

bearded clamorer: jeblis: Relevant picture (NSFW)

I can only imagine what the audio would sound like.

Like a card in the spokes?

Gotta be better than hitchhiking...