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(SFGate)   Cocaine found on nine out of 10 public baby changing tables. "That's some good shiat right there"   (blog.sfgate.com) divider line 107
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6732 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Dec 2011 at 12:46 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-12-20 07:07:57 PM
FTA: The fact remains, though, that changing tables, or anywhere else for that matter, is really a bad place to do cocaine.

So ... there are no good places to do cocaine? Not true.
 
2011-12-20 09:17:26 PM
Ain't that the sh*t.
 
2011-12-20 09:36:09 PM
Who the hell is letting their baby do cocaine?
 
2011-12-20 09:38:07 PM
Meh, I wonder if any baby products commonly used could cause false positives on the tests.
 
2011-12-20 09:58:39 PM
And nine out of ten cocaine samples were cut with baby laxative....

The circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiife, the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiife!
 
2011-12-20 10:03:30 PM
daisyfae.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-12-20 10:20:43 PM

brap: And nine out of ten cocaine samples were cut with baby laxative....

The circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiife, the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiife!


My former brother-in-law used to work at local record shop, with assorted paraphernalia being sold under the counter. One of their biggest sellers was a brand of European baby laxative that was tasteless & odorless. It was very popular with the coke dealers.
 
2011-12-21 12:03:49 AM
are the cocaine tests looking for pure coke or have they adjusted to test for what street coke is cut with?
 
2011-12-21 12:08:16 AM

thermo: are the cocaine tests looking for pure coke or have they adjusted to test for what street coke is cut with?


now that I RTFA, most likely actual coke residue on flat surfaces. Like every hotel room table or counter in Vegas.
 
2011-12-21 12:48:45 AM
If you're desperate enough to do your coke on a baby changing table...you deserve everything you get up your nose.
 
2011-12-21 12:49:06 AM
I'm sure that after dealing with a squalling rugrat all day that sometimes mommy needs a liittle pick-me-up.
 
2011-12-21 12:49:24 AM
It is really sad, why do babies have to do coke in the first place?
 
2011-12-21 12:50:49 AM
Those seem like a bad surface for coke, all the ones I've seen are not smooth at all.
 
2011-12-21 12:50:57 AM
If you're gonna do coke, you gotta do the freshest crack.
 
2011-12-21 12:51:17 AM
Sh*t goes better with Coke™ ;)
 
2011-12-21 12:56:52 AM
At a bar I used to hang out in Boston, the bar owners used to cover the top of the toilet tank with petroleum jelly, to stop the townies from doing coke lines.
 
2011-12-21 01:00:10 AM
And do these traces pose any actual danger to a baby being changed on that surface, or is this just another story to get parents panicked over a non-issue?
 
2011-12-21 01:04:39 AM
Say "MY COCAINE" really loud.

That's how Michael Caine says his name.
 
2011-12-21 01:05:54 AM

moops: At a bar I used to hang out in Boston, the bar owners used to cover the top of the toilet tank with petroleum jelly, to stop the townies from doing coke lines.


Was there a special, jelly-free, tank top for the out of townies?
 
2011-12-21 01:06:10 AM

Enemabag Jones: why do babies have to do coke in the first place?


It helps enhance their self-confidence.
 
2011-12-21 01:08:15 AM
andywibbels.blogs.com
 
2011-12-21 01:08:57 AM
If it's brown it's heroin. Well,,, maybe not.
 
2011-12-21 01:10:40 AM

Enemabag Jones: It is really sad, why do babies have to do coke in the first place?


You have to wonder considering their lack of dexterity and the fact that most of them can't even roll over. Self-destructive little shiats.
 
2011-12-21 01:10:51 AM
Local news reported this as a study that happened right HERE in OUR CITY in the USA! They even had stock footage of a baby-changing station mixed-in with random shoppers of -- wait for it -- Wal-Mart. If you want to see the hypnotism machine in action, watch local news. Every station here tries to copy "the news leader" by tripping over themselves who can scare whitey the most and question authority the least.

/ "There's cocaine all over baby changing stations, and here's a photo of one at Wal-mart, and here are black people shopping there, see, SEE!?"
 
2011-12-21 01:14:11 AM
Pedialudes, For when they just won't farking shut the hell up.
 
2011-12-21 01:14:21 AM
There are trace amounts of cocaine everywhere.

I bet there is just as much on the belts for the groceries.

Why is it we are supposed to care?
 
2011-12-21 01:14:44 AM
Old dudes have babies. Young dudes have cocoa.
 
2011-12-21 01:17:39 AM
You really haven't lived until you've snorted coke off a baby's ass.
 
2011-12-21 01:19:45 AM
Cocaine AND Jenkem has to be a Hell of a drug combo!
 
2011-12-21 01:25:27 AM

CrazyCurt: Every station here tries to copy "the news leader" by tripping over themselves who can scare whitey the most and question authority the least.


I thought that just today while watching some sciencey show warning of black-outs due to sun-spots or some such and the assured riots/looting that would follow such an event.

They seemed to be saying, "listen up honkey... the darkies love the night".
 
2011-12-21 01:26:08 AM
unscrwed.com
 
2011-12-21 01:28:52 AM

JesseL: And do these traces pose any actual danger to a baby being changed on that surface, or is this just another story to get parents panicked over a non-issue?


Pretty much the latter.
 
2011-12-21 01:30:58 AM
Is that what those tables are for? Well, color me embarrassed. I thought that was the urinal platform.
 
2011-12-21 01:33:15 AM

OOBE Juan Kenobi: Say "MY COCAINE" really loud.

That's how Michael Caine says his name.


Man that's funny.
 
2011-12-21 01:33:16 AM
I can walk into several bars within a 20 minute walk from my apartment and get free coke in the bathroom. Maybe it's just Portland, but this doesn't surprise me at all.
 
2011-12-21 01:38:40 AM
It's probably cleaner than a hooker's ass.
 
2011-12-21 01:39:00 AM

SevenSeven: OOBE Juan Kenobi: Say "MY COCAINE" really loud.

That's how Michael Caine says his name.

Man that's funny.


Agreed. Tried it and it works. One of the funniest things that wasn't troll/satire I've read on fark in a while. Good on you for providing an enjoyable laugh.
 
2011-12-21 01:45:32 AM

davidphogan: I can walk into several bars within a 20 minute walk from my apartment and get free coke in the bathroom.


We werent all born with pretty mouths.
 
2011-12-21 01:51:07 AM

TomD9938: davidphogan: I can walk into several bars within a 20 minute walk from my apartment and get free coke in the bathroom.

We werent all born with pretty mouths.


If I were a whore I could make $5000 on the side. I had no idea biker bars were all over.
 
2011-12-21 02:00:56 AM

phlegmmo: FTA: The fact remains, though, that changing tables, or anywhere else for that matter, is really a bad place to do cocaine.

So ... there are no good places to do cocaine? Not true.


Of course. Use the back of the toilet tank like a normal person.


davidphogan: I can walk into several bars within a 20 minute walk from my apartment and get free coke in the bathroom. Maybe it's just Portland, but this doesn't surprise me at all.


There's a bar in NE Portland called "The Candy Store" (I shiat you not) where I used to find it in the bathroom all the time. On the floor, the top of the TP dispenser, the toilet tank, etc. After a while they actually glued this rubber sheeting over all the raised flat surfaces to discourage people. It got scraped off within a week.

/csb
 
2011-12-21 02:05:47 AM

davidphogan: If I were a whore I could make $5000 on the side


Per week, I'd consider it.

Per month, I'd rather be a mailman.
 
2011-12-21 02:09:45 AM

fusillade762: Of course. Use the back of the toilet tank like a normal person.


When's the last time you saw a public toilet with a attached porcelain tank?

/ wouldn't think a plastic baby changer would be a good place
// too much coke would be left behind
 
2011-12-21 02:12:10 AM

fusillade762: Of course. Use the back of the toilet tank like a normal person.


What if it's one of those tankless commercial jobs?

/I once worked at a restaurant where the employee's bathroom had so much coke jammed into the crevice on top of the TP dispenser if you were hard up you could get a halfway decent line with a few minute's patience and your computer card
//never mind the other servers/bartenders pounding on the door for you to hurry up so they could do theirs
 
2011-12-21 02:32:05 AM
If I were a whore I could make $5000 on the side.



Usually whores make their money on their back...just sayin'
 
2011-12-21 02:33:06 AM
ox45tallboy: fusillade762: Of course. Use the back of the toilet tank like a normal person.

What if it's one of those tankless commercial jobs?


I had a tankless commercial job for awhile. Didn't pay very well.
 
2011-12-21 02:33:09 AM
My 6-week-old baby is always jacked up and fidgety. Guess the blow explains it. Id probably get more sleep if he'd just move on to heroin.
 
2011-12-21 02:36:40 AM
i601.photobucket.com
 
2011-12-21 02:40:54 AM

LincolnLogolas: [i601.photobucket.com image 300x300]


Okay, where did you find that? I want a few to put on baby changing stations in random public bathrooms.
 
2011-12-21 02:42:44 AM

GladGirl: My 6-week-old baby is always jacked up and fidgety. Guess the blow explains it. Id probably get more sleep if he'd just move on to heroin.


What this made me think of:

tehtable.files.wordpress.com

/if I'm going to have nightmares tonight, so are you
 
2011-12-21 03:03:51 AM

ox45tallboy: LincolnLogolas: [i601.photobucket.com image 300x300]

Okay, where did you find that? I want a few to put on baby changing stations in random public bathrooms.


Uhhh... made it? Just took the original graphic in the story and shooped it. Have at it.
 
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