FARK.com: (6832223) Boy: I'm concerned that the chimney on our new house is too small for Santa. Builders: Too small you say? Well we will redesign it and test the new design with a Santa Claus impersonator just for you

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		Boy: I'm concerned that the chimney on our new house is too small for Santa. Builders: Too small you say? Well we will redesign it and test the new design with a Santa Claus impersonator just for you (news.yahoo.com)		80
		More: Sappy, Santa Claus, Father Christmas, St. Nick, St. Nicholas, builder pattern, paces, harness

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80 Comments (+0 »)

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11of12

2011-12-20 05:06:41 PM

Walker

2011-12-20 05:09:23 PM

Great, now the kid's house is gonna be robbed nightly.

FloydA

2011-12-20 05:15:49 PM

Who's got two thumbs and looks like an evil Chuckie doll?

Mugato

2011-12-20 05:42:50 PM

"I really don't like to talk about it. No really, my father and the chimney....I won't talk about....okay, I'll bring a movie to a screaming halt to go on about it."

screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com

And just because....

NSFW Link NSFW

Mugato

2011-12-20 05:43:55 PM

Well that link didn't work but everyone knows which one it was.

RexTalionis

2011-12-20 05:56:21 PM

This kid looks computer generated.

TravisBickle62

2011-12-20 06:23:59 PM

"Climb down the chimney" is code for "doing your mother in her arse"

tinfoil-hat maggie

2011-12-20 06:25:07 PM

The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

freewill

2011-12-20 06:25:32 PM

Of course, now it's also big enough for Eugene Tooms.

/ Obscure?

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers

2011-12-20 06:25:34 PM

Mugato: "I really don't like to talk about it. No really, my father and the chimney....I won't talk about....okay, I'll bring a movie to a screaming halt to go on about it."

[screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com image 570x320]

And just because....

NSFW Link NSFW

Was that supposed to link to Fast Times bikini scene? Because it did not work and my peener has a sad now

bearded clamorer

2011-12-20 06:26:27 PM

Ain't No Party Like A Tea Party

2011-12-20 06:30:02 PM

RexTalionis: [l1.yimg.com image 630x421]

This kid looks computer generated.

He has very chubby hands. Very odd and off-putting.

dandude28

2011-12-20 06:30:37 PM

that's incredibly f'in stupid

Mugato

2011-12-20 06:30:56 PM

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: Mugato: "I really don't like to talk about it. No really, my father and the chimney....I won't talk about....okay, I'll bring a movie to a screaming halt to go on about it."

[screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com image 570x320]

And just because....

NSFW Link NSFW

Was that supposed to link to Fast Times bikini scene? Because it did not work and my peener has a sad now

Okay, retry

NSFW Link NSFW

FloydA

2011-12-20 06:35:17 PM

freewill: Of course, now it's also big enough for Eugene Tooms.

/ Obscure?

Any show that has won an Emmy is automatically disqualified from being called "obscure." Any show that has won 16 Emmys and 5 Golden Globes should be regarded as "well known."

Happy Hours

2011-12-20 06:37:02 PM

Should have just told the kid that since he was such a brat that it was probably a good thing that Santa couldn't fit because all he'd be getting were lumps of coal anyway.

Don't Tongue the Reaper!

2011-12-20 06:37:21 PM

Wonder how much extra that cost his folks?

ThisIsNotSubtle

2011-12-20 06:39:03 PM

dandude28: that's incredibly f'in stupid

I'm a big sap. I enjoy heart warming seasonal whimsy. I'm fond of everything from Santa letters to those ridiculous inflatable lawn blobs and pretty much everything in between.

But uh, yeah. This is incredibly f'in stupid.

Are we being trolled by Reuters?

Atharaenea

2011-12-20 06:40:34 PM

Why not just tell the kid that Santa uses his magic to fit down small chimneys, like with every other kid?

Or when I was a kid, and there was no chimney, Santa came in through the dryer vent. Cause he's magic like that.

Jisaw

2011-12-20 06:41:19 PM

Mugato: Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: Mugato: "I really don't like to talk about it. No really, my father and the chimney....I won't talk about....okay, I'll bring a movie to a screaming halt to go on about it."

[screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com image 570x320]

And just because....

NSFW Link NSFW

Was that supposed to link to Fast Times bikini scene? Because it did not work and my peener has a sad now

Okay, retry

NSFW Link NSFW

Holy crap. I had NO IDEA that was the same actress. A bit of my childhood just died, and a bit of my crotch grew.

Senor Spielbergo

2011-12-20 06:42:09 PM

Ok.... I scanned the story to see if the kid had some sort of..... specialness...

.....because that fool looks oddly fat-handed, blind and retarded.

/And farkin scary

HighlanderRPI

2011-12-20 06:42:22 PM

He looks like a 1% er

freewill

2011-12-20 06:42:36 PM

FloydA: Any show that has won an Emmy is automatically disqualified from being called "obscure." Any show that has won 16 Emmys and 5 Golden Globes should be regarded as "well known."

Yeah, but a specific scene involving a specific antagonist from Season 1? I just... I just wasn't sure.

Day_Old_Dutchie

2011-12-20 06:43:32 PM

When Santa got stuck in the chimney, he began to shout
"You girls and boys won't get any toys until you pull me out!"

Mugato

2011-12-20 06:43:40 PM

Jisaw: Holy crap. I had NO IDEA that was the same actress

I had no idea someone didn't know that.

ArcadianRefugee

2011-12-20 06:44:37 PM

RexTalionis: [l1.yimg.com image 630x421]

This kid looks ~~computer generated~~animatronic.

Gunz_drawn

2011-12-20 06:44:56 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

You too ??

RexTalionis

2011-12-20 06:48:10 PM

ArcadianRefugee: RexTalionis: [l1.yimg.com image 630x421]

This kid looks computer generatedanimatronic.

uploads.kidzworld.com

Retractable Weeners

2011-12-20 06:49:40 PM

I can't tell an ad from a story anymore. Fits in great with the xmas spirit.

Aupey

2011-12-20 06:50:50 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas.

If that's true.... well, that's just so messed up... And so horrible.
My god.

Ed Finnerty

2011-12-20 06:51:57 PM

RexTalionis: ArcadianRefugee: RexTalionis: [l1.yimg.com image 630x421]

This kid looks computer generatedanimatronic.

[uploads.kidzworld.com image 300x185]

On a somewhat related note:

dtdstudios.com

KrispyKritter

2011-12-20 06:52:07 PM

pic is adorable but it cries out for firestarter girl. and a fire.

LabGrrl

2011-12-20 06:54:13 PM

What kind of creep parents spend extra money for that when every single Christmas special, book and movie of the past 50 years that shows Santa doing the chimney thing also shows magical climbing into places without chimneys or with narrow chimneys? If all he needs to get out of the house is to put his finger beside his nose he's got enough magic to go down a narrow chimney, right?
Also, jolly old ELF, it's only recent movies that make him a fat human, so even a parent who doesn't let junior watch television can read them a damn book.

This story was on my local news, and all I could think was this is a kid who's ruling his parents. He's totally going down the bad egg chute.

Also was between stories of people paying off layaway and dropping expensive coins in kettles, so I was primed for the uncharitable response.

SuperNinjaToad

2011-12-20 06:58:39 PM

The Park family won't be able to inhabit their new holiday home until next December, just in time to get the milk and biscuits ready for their very special Yuletide visitor.

Kid is already six. For everyone's sake I hope he doesn't discover that Santa is not real in the next year or so otherwise it'll be very anti climatic and disheartening.

Danger Avoid Death

2011-12-20 07:02:15 PM

FloydA: Who's got two thumbs and looks like an evil Chuckie doll?

restivo8.files.wordpress.com

John Gruden??

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers

2011-12-20 07:02:19 PM

Aupey: tinfoil-hat maggie: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas.

If that's true.... well, that's just so messed up... And so horrible.
My god.

ephemerist.files.wordpress.com

Santa Stripe is disappoint

Porous Horace

2011-12-20 07:07:50 PM

ftfa: "... when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly."

Bowls of jelly do not laugh.

rogue_L_chick

2011-12-20 07:10:57 PM

Atharaenea: Why not just tell the kid that Santa uses his magic to fit down small chimneys, like with every other kid?

Or when I was a kid, and there was no chimney, Santa came in through the dryer vent. Cause he's magic like that.

My parents told mee that Santa could vaporize and shiat and go under doors and through window cracks and whatnot, same concept...but the vents! my evil mother told me that Santa's elves do the work of watching children for naughty behavior and that they hid in vents...since we had one in every room, even in the bathroom, I changed in my closet for months.

Invisible Pedestrian

2011-12-20 07:11:56 PM

LabGrrl: This story was on my local news, and all I could think was this is a kid who's ruling his parents. He's totally going down the bad egg chute.

Reading the article, it seems like the parents didn't do a damn thing, the home developer did. And got a huge chunk of advertising in the process.

ben_reddy

2011-12-20 07:12:44 PM

Another rich kid gets what he wants again this year? Touching.

Porous Horace

2011-12-20 07:13:54 PM

Ah, childhood.

Do we have a chimney?
Sort of, it's connected to the furnace.
Can Santa come down it?
Sure.
So we'll have a tree and he'll come down and give us presents?
No.
Why not?
Because we're Jews.
That sucks.
Deal with it.

Just_a_Bear

2011-12-20 07:14:06 PM

the contractor must have drooled when the father was willing to pander to the little brat on such an epic scale.

Danger Avoid Death

2011-12-20 07:18:15 PM

Porous Horace: ftfa: "... when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly."

Bowls of jelly do not laugh.

**Candy Snickers**.

LabGrrl

2011-12-20 07:21:30 PM

Danger Avoid Death: Porous Horace: ftfa: "... when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly."

Bowls of jelly do not laugh.

**Candy Snickers**.

It also sometimes Chuckles.

LordOfThePings

2011-12-20 07:26:33 PM

First World problems

DesktopHippie

2011-12-20 07:28:49 PM

Aupey: tinfoil-hat maggie: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas.

If that's true.... well, that's just so messed up... And so horrible.
My god.

It's okay! It's a quote from a movie.

Do... do you need a hug?

/Also, who the fark has never seen 'Gremlins'? Honestly!

blahpers

2011-12-20 07:33:25 PM

Mugato: Well that link didn't work but everyone knows which one it was.

Oh yeah, she was totally hot in Drop Dead Fred.

...

...What?

Contrabulous Flabtraption

2011-12-20 07:33:49 PM