FARK.com: (6832207) Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest: Entertainment tab headlines

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		Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest: Entertainment tab headlines (fark.com)		68
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Unfreakable		2011-12-20 03:55:50 PM

Last Friday, Fark ran it's annual Headline of the Year contest, which we're running a bit ahead of schedule this year (I know, it's messing with those of you who expect it the last week of the year). This week we're running the Headline of the Year contest for the subtabs. These are the 20 top-voted headlines for the entertainment tab for 2011.

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 03:56:50 PM

Shia Lebeouf punched in face by angry bar patron, who apparently wanted to do America a favor

http://www.fark.com/comments/5935385

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 03:57:09 PM

Letterman's guests on Thursday are Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. Program to be simulcast on Court TV

http://www.fark.com/comments/5962976

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 03:57:27 PM

Bruce Willis to sell New York apartment at a loss. Yippie-ki-yay, market failure

http://www.fark.com/comments/6123338

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 03:57:44 PM

Bewitched' creator Sol Saks dies at 100. Actually he died at 82, but was replaced by another guy and nobody said a word

http://www.fark.com/comments/6133897

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 03:58:05 PM

Katy Perry forbids chauffeurs from making eye contact with her. If only there were some distractions to keep the chauffeurs from looking into her eyes

http://www.fark.com/comments/6221658

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 03:58:30 PM

John Travolta cast as mobster John Gotti, presumably not due their shared history of whacking guys

http://www.fark.com/comments/5906977

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 03:59:00 PM

Leslie Nielsen had an entirely different kind of funeral. Altogether

http://www.fark.com/comments/5808968

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 03:59:22 PM

A guide to Glee for straight guys. If you clicked the link, you failed the test and are probably gay

http://www.fark.com/comments/5932730

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 03:59:44 PM

Christina Aguilera divorces Bratman, much to the delight of the Jroker

http://www.fark.com/comments/6119368

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:00:06 PM

Daniel Radcliffe fancies Pippa Middleton, puts on his robe and wizard hat

http://www.fark.com/comments/6172225

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:00:35 PM

Amy Winehouse leaves drug addicted ex-husband out of will, knowing any money to him would be in vein

http://www.fark.com/comments/6419283

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:01:01 PM

Yoko Ono threatens to sue Scottish pub named in honor of John Lennon. Perhaps if they named a shot after him it would be okay

http://www.fark.com/comments/6373564

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:01:19 PM

Answer: Alex Trebek snapped his Achilles tendon while trying to open this object on a fleeing burglar. Question: What is a can of whoopass?

http://www.fark.com/comments/6424800

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:01:42 PM

Theater chains cancel showings of rave-culture documentary "The Electric Daisy Carnival Experience" after a near riot when the film was shown once once once once once once once once once once once once once

http://www.fark.com/comments/6434931

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:02:40 PM

Mellencamp wife gets divorce, changes to cougar

http://www.fark.com/comments/6485779

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:03:29 PM

Rosie O'Donnell talks about her split. GOOD GOD, NO

http://www.fark.com/comments/6544097

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:03:45 PM

Heavy-D..composing

http://www.fark.com/comments/6716190

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:04:03 PM

PBS starts up a channel in England. At last, British people will finally get an opportunity to see Monty Python, Doctor Who, and Fawlty Towers

http://www.fark.com/comments/6769558

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:04:29 PM

Porn star Sasha Grey was invited to read to first graders. This article is brought to you by the letter A, The number 2, and the letter M

http://www.fark.com/comments/6723909

Headline of the Year candidate		2011-12-20 04:05:50 PM

Drill instructor and film badass R. Lee Ermey caught knitting. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU BUNCH OF JACKWAGONS?

http://www.fark.com/comments/6662047

Unfreakable		2011-12-20 04:06:06 PM

TFers, if you missed the preliminary threads, here they are:

First quarter
Second quarter
Third quarter
Fourth quarter

Unfreakable		2011-12-20 04:07:33 PM

A few extra headlines that I liked that didn't quite make the cut but deserve some love:

Paris Hilton shows off her new iPhone app on Letterman. App causes phone to behave erratically, go down on you frequently; needs to be purged of viruses and jailbroken every few months
http://www.fark.com/comments/5971653

Matt Damon vows to do his own Bourne movie. Look for Still Bourne some time in 2013
http://www.fark.com/comments/5874109

Jwoww and Snookie are getting a Jersey Shore spin off show, tentatively called "The Bay of Pigs"
http://www.fark.com/comments/5896206

Jennifer Lopez becomes the face, giant ass of L'Oreal
http://www.fark.com/comments/5809607

Sole recipient of the "Ron Howard's Affirmative Action for Guys Related to Me" program complains about how hard it is being conservative in Hollywood
http://www.fark.com/comments/5918927

Roger Abbot dead. Jessica inconsolable
http://www.fark.com/comments/6067999

Holly Madison ignores Hugh Hefner's sweet wedding invitation. Hefner again trying to give a spoonful of sugar to make the Madison go down
http://www.fark.com/comments/6108451

Katy Perry still DDoesn't unDDerstanDD why people maDDe such a big DDeal over the Sesame Street appearance she starreDD in that proDDucers ultimately pulleDD from the show
http://www.fark.com/comments/6190009

Adam Sandler's latest film is his 12th to gross over $100 million at the box office. It's looking more and more like the Mayans were right
http://www.fark.com/comments/6070956

After his soul crushing break-up with Jessica Biel, Justin Timberlake bravely lands on his feet, Olivia Wilde
http://www.fark.com/comments/6088706

Christina Aguilera arrested for public intoxication after failing sobriety test, by oversinging the wrong letters to the alphabet
http://www.fark.com/comments/5999076

Nick Lachey and fiancee throw wedding shower. Jessica Simpson dons her shunning muumuu
http://www.fark.com/comments/6248244

Homeless woman with poor vision but highly tuned sense of smell mistakes Paris Hilton for Lindsay Lohan
http://www.fark.com/comments/6171767

AMC theaters to screen all three extended editions of "Lord of the Rings" movies in June. Or you could save some time and just walk to Mordor yourself
http://www.fark.com/comments/6147471

Lady Gaga to be fashion consultant for V magazine. For all five of you who wear suits made of Muppet fur, this will be a glorious day
http://www.fark.com/comments/6078206

President of PBS says the network is more rele--IF YOU'D LIKE QUALITY STORIES ABOUT PBS LIKE THIS ONE, PLEASE MAKE A DONATION NOW
http://www.fark.com/comments/6435729

Artist Lucian Freud penises away at age 88
http://www.fark.com/comments/6407866

Chloe Sevigny gets a grip on fashion, chokes up, says it sucks, she's 'not excited by contemporary fashion', will debut her own fashion line. Now that's a mouthful
http://www.fark.com/comments/6354147

Motorist strikes Reese Withercar
http://www.fark.com/comments/6545569

Justin Timberlake trying to find a man for George Michael. Step 1: Cut a hole in a box
http://www.fark.com/comments/6690659

Heidi Montag celebrates being 25. In other news, her chin celebrates being 3, her nose celebrates being 5, her stomach celebrates being 2, her breasts celebrate being 1, 3, 5 and 6
http://www.fark.com/comments/6571431

Ozzy Osbourne lands radio show. Don't miss "Unintelligible Gibberish in the Morning" on SiriusXM
http://www.fark.com/comments/6751959

Taylor Swift calls in lawyers over photo of topless lookalike being published. Lawyers insist that they can prove it's not Swift because the topless model is capable of different facial expressions
http://www.fark.com/comments/6690562

Emmy award winning journalist Anderson Cooper tackles one of the hard issues on his new daytime show: Psychic addiction. But first, on Springer: Jerry interviews former National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski
http://www.fark.com/comments/6640569

PizzaJedi81		2011-12-20 04:21:21 PM

Am I the only one who thinks that some of the runners up were better than most of the candidates?

Vogon Poet		2011-12-20 04:24:06 PM

That Leslie Nielsen thread might be Fark's finest. Just a perfect sendoff.

PizzaJedi81		2011-12-20 04:24:54 PM

Vogon Poet: That Leslie Nielsen thread might be Fark's finest. Just a perfect sendoff.

Surely you must be joking.

RandomTux		2011-12-20 04:26:39 PM

PizzaJedi81: Am I the only one who thinks that some of the runners up were better than most of the candidates?

No

douchebag/hater		2011-12-20 04:28:22 PM

Why aren't these 'voting enabled'?

Captain_Creampuff		2011-12-20 04:28:36 PM

I liked the Christina one too

MAYORBOB		2011-12-20 04:30:47 PM

Are we voting on the Thread of the Year or Headline of the Year? Because, if it was the Headline of the Year, the headline I submitted with my link that never got green lit most definitely was the wittiest, most awesom HOTY EVAR!!! I forget what it was.

/Strong vote yes for the Leslie Neilsen headline.

Sliding Carp		2011-12-20 04:30:57 PM

Mordor and Chloe wuz robbed.

PizzaJedi81		2011-12-20 04:31:15 PM

douchebag/hater: Why aren't these 'voting enabled'?

Because you're blind?

Cheesus		2011-12-20 04:37:16 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: Leslie Nielsen had an entirely different kind of funeral. Altogether

http://www.fark.com/comments/5808968

That thread is absolutely beautiful.

slapmastered		2011-12-20 04:39:32 PM

PizzaJedi81: Vogon Poet: That Leslie Nielsen thread might be Fark's finest. Just a perfect sendoff.

Surely you must be joking.

He's perfectly serious. And don't call him Shirley.

Zombie Butler		2011-12-20 04:41:08 PM

PizzaJedi81: Vogon Poet: That Leslie Nielsen thread might be Fark's finest. Just a perfect sendoff.

Surely you must be joking.

No I'm not joking and don't call me Shirley.

Nexzus		2011-12-20 04:42:18 PM

I always like the "three hour tour" funeral procession for the death of the creator of Gilligan's Island.

Zombie Butler		2011-12-20 04:42:31 PM

Gah! curse you slapmastered. Beat me to it.

Tax Boy		2011-12-20 04:42:35 PM

"PBS starts up a channel in England. At last, British people will finally get an opportunity to see Monty Python, Doctor Who, and Fawlty Towers"

Some mod must really have gotten a kick out of this, as it was insta-greened. I don't think it was one of my finer efforts, and isn't even in the same league as the Bruce Willis one, but thank you for the nom nom nom anyways.

Twin 40s		2011-12-20 04:45:44 PM

PizzaJedi81: Am I the only one who thinks that some of the runners up were better than most of the candidates?

Anytime you begin a sentence with "Am I the only one who thinks...", the answer will be no.

HaywoodJablonski		2011-12-20 04:47:26 PM

Leslie Nielsen and the Mellencamp ones run away with my votes.

PizzaJedi81		2011-12-20 04:54:40 PM

Twin 40s: PizzaJedi81: Am I the only one who thinks that some of the runners up were better than most of the candidates?

Anytime you begin a sentence with "Am I the only one who thinks...", the answer will be no.

Ah...conformists...good for me. :-)

OtherLittleGuy		2011-12-20 04:56:40 PM

Congrats to the nominees, but they pale in comparison to last year's Michael J. Fox and Katy Perry headlines, which were so deservingly Winner and Runner Up.

PizzaJedi81		2011-12-20 04:59:10 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Congrats to the nominees, but they pale in comparison to last year's Michael J. Fox and Katy Perry headlines, which were so deservingly Winner and Runner Up.

Remind us?

srtpointman		2011-12-20 05:07:29 PM

Oh the Bruce Willis headline still makes me laugh.

Banned on the Run		2011-12-20 05:17:43 PM

My Sasha Grey headline was still better.

/I like a nice brie with my sour grapes

HighZoolander		2011-12-20 05:28:01 PM

Leslie Nielson is dead? When did that happen?

cougs4ever		2011-12-20 05:35:06 PM

Rosie!!!

vegasj		2011-12-20 05:46:06 PM

Vogon Poet: That Leslie Nielsen thread might be Fark's finest. Just a perfect sendoff.

yea... great last post in there too.

/goodnight funny man.

Benjamin Stone		2011-12-20 06:06:33 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: Bruce Willis to sell New York apartment at a loss. Yippie-ki-yay, market failure

http://www.fark.com/comments/6123338

Man, I get a kick out of this one. They should have dubbed that in the TV version of Die Hard 2 instead of "Mr. Falcon."