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(Fark)   Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest: Sports tab headlines   (fark.com) divider line 69
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3760 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2011 at 1:40 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-12-20 01:07:58 PM  
Last Friday, Fark ran it's annual Headline of the Year contest, which we're running a bit ahead of schedule this year (I know, it's messing with those of you who expect it the last week of the year). This week we're running the Headline of the Year contest for the subtabs. These are the 20 top-voted headlines for the sports tab for 2011.
 
2011-12-20 01:08:25 PM  
Toronto Maple Leafs upset that someone threw waffles onto the ice during a game. In other news, the waffles beat the Maple Leafs 7-2

http://www.fark.com/comments/5817650
 
2011-12-20 01:08:38 PM  
Henrietta King, wife of boxing promoter Don King, deathalized, sensationalized, mortuarified and casketized at 87. Practitioners of ratfinkism and the greatest show on Earth mournify in stupendous and momentous occasion

http://www.fark.com/comments/5800532
 
2011-12-20 01:08:54 PM  
 Browns sign Usama, expected to help them bring down Jets in New York 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6428495 
 
2011-12-20 01:09:10 PM  
Barkeep, give me an Alex Ovechkin -- that's a White Russian on ice with no cup

http://www.fark.com/comments/6172258
 
2011-12-20 01:09:47 PM  
Pitchers may start wearing helmets, catchers may expect different sensation

http://www.fark.com/comments/6018299
 
2011-12-20 01:10:09 PM  
Dead bird epidemic continues: 53 eagles found dead on a field in Philadelphia

http://www.fark.com/comments/5874716
 
2011-12-20 01:10:24 PM  
KC Chiefs team delayed over white substance unknown to players. No, it was not the goal line

http://www.fark.com/comments/5992482
 
2011-12-20 01:10:40 PM  
Steve Sabol stable after seizure by the seashore

http://www.fark.com/comments/6016153
 
2011-12-20 01:11:09 PM  
A winter day, bleak and dreary. The fans begged out for three points more. Quoth the Raven: We failed to score

http://www.fark.com/comments/5887134
 
2011-12-20 01:11:46 PM  
Former Penn State assistant coach arrested for putting it into the endzone before turf was installed

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6708168 
 
2011-12-20 01:12:03 PM  
The last time a Duke was murdered like this, it started World War I. Duke sucks

http://www.fark.com/comments/6060967
 
2011-12-20 01:12:20 PM  
Congrats to Tony Romo for getting married. That's the only way you were ever going to get a ring

http://www.fark.com/comments/6251011
 
2011-12-20 01:12:47 PM  
 It was a very close shave, but Americans rub out Brazilians, thanks to hot Boxx and incredible Solo performance, now on the way to World Cup climax 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6371521 
 
2011-12-20 01:13:05 PM  
In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind 

http://www.fark.com/comments/6728354 
 
2011-12-20 01:13:26 PM  
 BCS pokes hole in Trojans' 2004 title 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6271483 
 
2011-12-20 01:13:49 PM  
 A cups beat C cups for World Cup 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6393837 
 
2011-12-20 01:15:03 PM  
 The 2006 USC football team is nearly reassembled in Seattle. Granted, this time they have a lower salary cap

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6421302 
 
2011-12-20 01:16:24 PM  
 Steelers' Colon placed on injured reserve following last Sunday's pounding 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6560314 
 
2011-12-20 01:16:43 PM  
 Health inspectors find numerous violations at Wrigley Field. Players are safe since they avoid anything that gives them the runs 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6589157 
 
2011-12-20 01:17:06 PM  
 Women set record for world's longest hockey game. Ten days long - that's a lot of periods 

 http://www.fark.com/comments/6541080 
 
2011-12-20 01:17:57 PM  
TFers, if you missed the preliminary threads, here they are:

First quarter
Second quarter
Third quarter
Fourth quarter
 
2011-12-20 01:24:46 PM  
I actually saw "Usama Young signs with Jets" on the ESPN ticker, and I went to Fark wanting to submit a similar headline. That subby beat me to it, but he deserves HOTY, because that is both funny and controversial, a perfect recipe for a headline.
 
2011-12-20 01:38:58 PM  
A few extra headlines that I liked that didn't quite make the cut but deserve some love:

Chilean miners visit Man United, learn about living in dark environment where people go months without sunshine
http://www.fark.com/comments/5824461

"Is losing out on Lee a blessing for Yanks?" Well, not until Gettysburg
http://www.fark.com/comments/5825773

Pacquiao to fight Mosley May 7. It's the only way the Pac Man can get May weather in the ring
http://www.fark.com/comments/5844127

Toronto's Mike Komisarek accused of punching a woman in the face. No word yet on which Ottawa Senator was the victim
http://www.fark.com/comments/5900055

Rick DiPietro out 4-6 weeks due to broken jaw, swollen knee, commitment to play the villain in Unbreakable 2
http://www.fark.com/comments/5931345

Bob Sanders shakes hands on one-year deal with San Diego, dislocates shoulder
http://www.fark.com/comments/6007574

Imminent NFL lockout does not threaten Madden 12 release. It will be so realistic that hitting "play now" will feature an empty stadium and right trigger will show owners cooking the books
http://www.fark.com/comments/6032034

LeBron buys a minority stake in Liverpool FC, will never walk alone. Not that the refs would call him for a walk anyway
http://www.fark.com/comments/6095058

Former Chicago Bears quarterback Bobby Douglass arrested for breaking into his girlfriend's home. Well, at least he managed to get through some kind of defense
http://www.fark.com/comments/6116441

Major League Baseball signs deal to broadcast games in Vietnam and China, thereby slowing down Asian economic surge by boring their citizens to death
http://www.fark.com/comments/6122773

900-lb statue of Shaq set to be unveiled on LSU's campus this summer. Weighs half as much as the real Shaq, but is twice as accurate at the FT line
http://www.fark.com/comments/6192450

Indian blind cricket team to tour Pakistan, play against other sight-impaired teams. First match is against the Pakistani intelligence team tasked to find Bin Laden
http://www.fark.com/comments/6215042

Indiana residents squabble over plans for a Larry Bird statue, saying a statue would depict his mobility too accurately
http://www.fark.com/comments/6280100

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen passes kidney stone. First time this season he gets three good innings of relief
http://www.fark.com/comments/6316715

Dirk Nowitzki throws first pitch at Rangers game. Application from Lebron James denied because team was afraid the pitch would only get 3/4 of the way to the plate
http://www.fark.com/comments/6329966

Ex-lightweight champ Juan Diaz to study law at Dartmouth. Now happy to be going from boxers to briefs
http://www.fark.com/comments/6332347

Oakland Raiders hire a grandmother as a cheerleader. But it's not as bad as it sounds, because like most Raiders fans, she became a grandmother at only 37
http://www.fark.com/comments/6428366

Baltimore wide receiver David Reed suspended for season opener. That's so Raven
http://www.fark.com/comments/6533709

Broncos waive Cox in public
http://www.fark.com/comments/6535982

Tiger Woods gets third new caddie. Well ... the fourth if you count the Escalade
http://www.fark.com/comments/6597467

Brock Lesnar says he's open to "one last match" before dedicating the rest of his life searching the globe for his neck
http://www.fark.com/comments/6638213

After allowing 327 points in 11 games, Colts fire defensive coordinator. In other news, the Colts had a defensive coordinator
http://www.fark.com/comments/6772864
 
2011-12-20 01:46:01 PM  

Headline of the Year candidate: In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind


So. Farking. WRONG.

voted.
 
2011-12-20 01:50:10 PM  
All good ones.
 
2011-12-20 01:57:58 PM  
Really good group this year. There was a remarkably similar Don King one last year, don't think this one should be here.
 
2011-12-20 02:00:10 PM  
I forgot about the dead birds one. Definetly my favorite.
 
2011-12-20 02:05:30 PM  

I Have The Touch of a Shocked Monkey: I actually saw "Usama Young signs with Jets" on the ESPN ticker, and I went to Fark wanting to submit a similar headline. That subby beat me to it, but he deserves HOTY, because that is both funny and controversial, a perfect recipe for a headline.


I voted for a few, but yes: this is the awesomest headline.

/evar
 
2011-12-20 02:05:40 PM  
In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind

As much as I liked the Usama headline, I really cannot support any but this gem as the best sports headline of the year.
 
2011-12-20 02:05:52 PM  
Oh man, this crop is tougher than the official HOTY thread was. Can't pick just one.
 
2011-12-20 02:08:07 PM  
A vote for me is a vote against Duke.

Consider that.
 
2011-12-20 02:10:02 PM  
C'mon man! No love for the WWI/Duke sucks headline?! That was one epic thread started by an epic headline.
 
2011-12-20 02:10:16 PM  

Cyberluddite: In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind

As much as I liked the Usama headline, I really cannot support any but this gem as the best sports headline of the year.


That's how I did it. Only headline I'm voting for.
 
2011-12-20 02:16:19 PM  
I don't think it would measure up against these awesome ones (LOL @ Duke and Usama ones), but I submitted a silly sports headline that got rejected for posting at all:

Trojans defeat Cocks with excellent coverage against the penetration offense

(The USC vs. USC basketball game on Thanksgiving weekend.)
 
2011-12-20 02:16:25 PM  
In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind

As absolutely wonderful a headline as this is, I still think that it is too context dependent, and really doesn't even belong in the Sports category anyway. I can't bring myself to vote for it, despite wanting to...
 
2011-12-20 02:19:07 PM  

Balchinian: In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind

As absolutely wonderful a headline as this is, I still think that it is too context dependent, and really doesn't even belong in the Sports category anyway. I can't bring myself to vote for it, despite wanting to...


Same here.
 
2011-12-20 02:19:46 PM  

Rwa2play: C'mon man! No love for the WWI/Duke sucks headline?! That was one epic thread started by an epic headline.


It's there
 
2011-12-20 02:26:25 PM  

Balchinian: In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind

As absolutely wonderful a headline as this is, I still think that it is too context dependent, and really doesn't even belong in the Sports category anyway. I can't bring myself to vote for it, despite wanting to...


Wait--a headline about the results of a football game doesn't belong in the Sports category? Huh?
 
2011-12-20 02:43:10 PM  
There is one and only one worth voting for: "In the end, Penn State comes up a little behind."

The Seahawks/2006 USC headline is not only stupid but factually incorrect, as the Seahawks didn't sign Leinart and now have precisely one player from that USC team (a wide receiver with 18 catches this season).
 
2011-12-20 03:05:52 PM  
Paging aquigley to this thread, aquigley, please pick up the white courtesy phone or report to Aisle 6831716
 
2011-12-20 03:09:31 PM  
As much as I love the dead birds headline, the Steve Sabol one made me crack up when I first saw it, and made me crack up again today.

/The Ovechkin one is a knee-slapper as well
 
2011-12-20 03:16:20 PM  
Dead birds always gets a giggle, but that's mainly because it was timely. Not sure if people will remember the dead birds mystery in a couple of years in order to make the connection. Waffles vs. Maple Leafs always makes me giggle just because that's a funny visual. Because it's waffles playing hockey, see? Anyway. Usama & the Jets FTW because it is so many shades of wrong.
 
2011-12-20 03:23:21 PM  
I am here!
 
2011-12-20 03:29:22 PM  

aquigley: I am here!


Vooooote
 
2011-12-20 03:34:45 PM  
The Usama and Penn State behind ones, damn.

I actually got an honorable mention, I'll take it.
 
2011-12-20 03:36:47 PM  
Penn State comes up a little behind for the win.

So.... very wrong
 
2011-12-20 03:39:12 PM  
Once again I appreciate Unfreakable's also-rans
 
2011-12-20 03:42:40 PM  
Henrietta King, wife of boxing promoter Don King, deathalized, sensationalized, mortuarified and casketized at 87. Practitioners of ratfinkism and the greatest show on Earth mournify in stupendous and momentous occasion

The best by far.
 
2011-12-20 03:48:36 PM  

Unfreakable: Baltimore wide receiver David Reed suspended for season opener. That's so Raven
http://www.fark.com/comments/6533709


I'm surprised this one made it in as an also-ran considering it was edited the original trolltastic headline:
"Baltimore star Reed suspended for season opener"

to what we have there. Should a mod modified headline count?

As for me, I can't decide between the Penn State, Usama and Ovechkin headlines.
 
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