Hey ma, we finally made it on Fark! Go southwest missouri!

Ashamed? Maybe you didn't read it, the deers are dressed up like peoples!

If anyone asks, we're sophisticated millionaires from the Ozarks.

I live out in the middle of the woods and this past fall I decided to dig a pool. There aren't any high dives any more, so I dug it deep, eighteen feet, so that I could put one in. Well, the hole was dug but it got to late in the year to pour the concrete, so I just left it open to wait till spring.

There's a huge deer population out here. I don't hunt much, but about once a year I'll go out and see if I can get a buck in the backyard. The deer around here all run in one big herd, practically in a straight line, about fifty or sixty of them at a time. Well, the pack came racing through the forest in the backyard while I was out there hunting. I took a shot at a big buck in the lead, missed, and only blew his horns off. That's why I don't hunt - terrible shot.

Well, the deer pack got spooked and took a hard right, up through the trees, toward my house. A lot of times they'd cut through my backyard on the way to the stream on the other side of the road. Unfortunately, the giant hole got in the way of the deer, and they all crashed in, like damn lemmings. I walk up to the edge, look down, and there's about sixty five deer in various states of disrepair. A lot of them were making this "MMMAAAHHH" noise. What the hell was I supposed to do?

I couldn't shoot them all, obviously. That would have to be illegal and getting sixty-five dead deer out of the hole probably wouldn't be much easier than sixty-five live ones. So I thought and thought, and then figured that I would run the hose down from the house. I'd fill the hole with water overnight and when it go high enough the deer would float up and then scramble out. I tossed the hose down, turned on the water, and went up to the house to watch Jeopardy.

I fell asleep halfway through the show. During the night, the temperature dropped below zero. When I came out in the morning, all of the deer were frozen into this giant ice cube. There was an antler sticking out here, a leg there, a snout over there. The whole lot of them was frozen solid.

The temperature hasn't gotten above freezing since then, so the ice block hasn't only hardened. I guess when the spring comes and the ice thaws, I can throw a stick or two of dynamite in there to clean them out, but I really have no idea. Right now I'm just enjoying the little obstacle course their appendages make. You know what they say, when life gives you a frozen pool of dead deer, go ice skating.

Ah, you know what you are? You're one of those little fancy deer, aren't ya? boy you're cute. Gosh what a sweet little outfit. Is it your little Spring outfit? you couldn't be cuter. You're so adorable. Oh my. You know, you remind me of my niece Sally. Lovely doe. She's a dietician. Hey, would you like to buy a monkey?

Next courthouse shooting in 5....4....3....2....

That picture needs an '0'

"There are deer in formal wear. That will surprise everyone." Your argument is invalid.

Furries going mainstream?

I was there 30 minutes ago

I read that as outhouse at first which was more interesting than the reality.

At nine o'clock at night, when Mr. Muskrat has his beer goggles on, he begins to notice those come hither to me glances Mrs. Deer keeps giving him, and he sinks into a deep funk thinking it was never meant to be and then goes about drowning his sorrows with another cup of eggnog.

wrapple: I was there 30 minutes ago


Im heading there right now. I go to school right around the corner.

Spicy_McHaggus: wrapple: I was there 30 minutes ago


Im heading there right now. I go to school right around the corner.

Central? I was paying taxes, no fun.

Ohmahgawd. Helen? Helen Joy? From Springfield?

What is bothering you regarding there deer, Helen?