A Christmas Carol (both versions with Patrick Stewart and George C. Scott).

/ducks

Add a little MST3K to "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and you get Christmas gold. This movie (the MST3K version) is watched every year right after the Charlie Brown Christmas Special and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Where else would you hear such classics as "Let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas" or discover that Crow T. Robot's favorite movie is Road House?

If you have 90 minutes at work today (and let's face it, if you're on Fark and it's December 19th, you probably do) give it a watch.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 1/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 2/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 3/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 4/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 5/5 (new window)

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians gave us a great MST3k so it's got that going for it.

"Santa Claus severed my Penis". I hated that cartoon. Also not a fan of "Blow Your Dog, Charlie Brown" (but the jazzy Vince Guaraldi soundtrack was catchy)

My local theater is actually doing screenings of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians all week. I'd never heard of it before then, funny that this list popped up.

List fails without A Christmas Story.

2 hours of "waaaahhh! I want a BB gun". Get the fark over yourself and go put in some time at the soup kitchens you ungrateful little shiat.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has one of my favorite riffing streaks in the entire series.

Reporter: There's a rumor that you're going to use a rocket sled?
Santa Claus: No siree! We're going out the good ol' fashioned way.
Joel: Guns a-blazin'!
Santa Claus: Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon...
Tom Servo: Heh, yeah, so what's in the pipe, Santa?
Santa Claus: Oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names.
Crow: Yeah, cause they're sober.

Worst piece of Christmas glurge: "The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong

The story: A grumpy man doing last-minute Christmas shopping is asked by a young boy for some money so he could buy his mother some shoes. Why? Because his mother is dying and may die that night, so the little boy wants those shoes so his mother can look good for Jesus. The grumpy man tearfully pays for the shoes and as he watches the boy run off with the gift, he thinks that God sent that little boy to show him the true meaning of Christmas.

Moral of the story: God inflicted a woman with a terminal illness so her son could teach a grumpy man the true meaning of Christmas.

They said Jingle Babies twice. They don't like Jungle Babies.

AnimeNathan: Add a little MST3K to "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and you get Christmas gold. This movie (the MST3K version) is watched every year right after the Charlie Brown Christmas Special and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Where else would you hear such classics as "Let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas" or discover that Crow T. Robot's favorite movie is Road House?

If you have 90 minutes at work today (and let's face it, if you're on Fark and it's December 19th, you probably do) give it a watch.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 1/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 2/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 3/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 4/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 5/5 (new window)

Better yet...
*pops in the dvd*
Watching it while working from home

/yeah, that's the ticket

AnimeNathan: Add a little MST3K to "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and you get Christmas gold. This movie (the MST3K version) is watched every year right after the Charlie Brown Christmas Special and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Where else would you hear such classics as "Let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas" or discover that Crow T. Robot's favorite movie is Road House?

If you have 90 minutes at work today (and let's face it, if you're on Fark and it's December 19th, you probably do) give it a watch.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 1/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 2/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 3/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 4/5 (new window)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 5/5 (new window)

Joel should have been on that list of best MacGuyvers the other day. Apparently he made four sentient robots out of a VCR if you believe the theme song.

Star Wars Special is here:

http://youtu.be/bbF_ecnlyTk

gunga galunga: List fails without A Christmas Story.

2 hours of "waaaahhh! I want a BB gun". Get the fark over yourself and go put in some time at the soup kitchens you ungrateful little shiat.

You'd have thought the dad would have gotten fed up and just dropped that little snot over at the draft office.
It was the 40s, after all, and the military wasn't great at checking for proof of age.

Arxane: Worst piece of Christmas glurge: "The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong

The story: A grumpy man doing last-minute Christmas shopping is asked by a young boy for some money so he could buy his mother some shoes. Why? Because his mother is dying and may die that night, so the little boy wants those shoes so his mother can look good for Jesus. The grumpy man tearfully pays for the shoes and as he watches the boy run off with the gift, he thinks that God sent that little boy to show him the true meaning of Christmas.

Moral of the story: God inflicted a woman with a terminal illness so her son could teach a grumpy man the true meaning of Christmas.

Patton Oswalt said it best...

Patton Oswalt: Christmas Shoes (new window)

Santa Claus vs the Martians is a classic. A few years back my brother found it in a DVD bargain bin and gave it to me for christmas. Its awful goodness warms my heart

stoli n coke: gunga galunga: List fails without A Christmas Story.

2 hours of "waaaahhh! I want a BB gun". Get the fark over yourself and go put in some time at the soup kitchens you ungrateful little shiat.

You'd have thought the dad would have gotten fed up and just dropped that little snot over at the draft office.

I always thought the father should have taken the lugwrench to Ralphi's skull for dropping F-bombs like that at Christmas time. Instead, they let him off lightly by washing his mouth out with soap. But rather than being grateful, he indulges in a sick revenge fantasy about becoming permanently blind so he can guilt trip his parents. The kid's a sociopath.

It's too bad KISS saves Christmas doesn't exist except in Seth MacFarlane's mind.

EatHam: You can't play solos with a bass



begs to differ

Yes, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is abysmal and the MST3K version of it is as awesome as the original is horrid, but let's not forget the Mexican children's movie, "Santa Claus".

O Holy Crap, is that movie ever a stocking full of steamy reindeer shiat to try to watch, un-MSTied.

But again, add a little MST3K to the mix, and it's sheer epicness!

Here it is (clickypop), in its entirety. Enjoy also! I consider it as good as SCCtM.

/"Isn't this just bringing Santa down to Satan's level?"

EatHam: You can't play solos with a bass

Jaco Pastorius unavailable for raspberry-sounding comment.

EatHam: You can't play solos with a bass

mekkab and oldebayer are correct, but let's not forget:



This is Squarepusher's world. We are merely permitted to exist in it.

/hot pic, hot licks

mercator_psi: Yes, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is abysmal and the MST3K version of it is as awesome as the original is horrid, but let's not forget the Mexican children's movie, "Santa Claus".

That one certainly did score pretty high on the creepy meter.

\*psychotic anamatronic reindeer laughing*
\\"It's a fan with an ear attached. Period."

Impasse: \*psychotic anamatronic reindeer laughing*

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hoo! (new window)

I dunno, guize...

I just saw the Rifftraxx version of "Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny."

I think I have a new tradition in my home for Christmas.

Crazy Talk Al: I dunno, guize...

I just saw the Rifftraxx version of "Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny."

I think I have a new tradition in my home for Christmas.

Very true. This is definitely a welcome addition to the canon. Also creepy as hell, and again, top-notch riffs.

I remember a couple of years ago when select theaters were show a live broadcast of Glenn Beck showing a pre-taped video of him performing his own opus, The Christmas Sweater. I also seem to remember him charging more for a ticket than it cost to see Avatar in 3-D and on IMAX.

Anybody here go see that for shiats and giggles?

mercator_psi: Yes, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is abysmal and the MST3K version of it is as awesome as the original is horrid, but let's not forget the Mexican children's movie, "Santa Claus".

O Holy Crap, is that movie ever a stocking full of steamy reindeer shiat to try to watch, un-MSTied.

But again, add a little MST3K to the mix, and it's sheer epicness!


That plus Star Wars Holiday Special are our geeky Christmas traditions.

We start drinking as soon as the little kids in Santa's Toyland start their songs from around the world, and take a shot when they get to the awful awful Chinese song that's off key. It's the only way we can get through that horrible portion.

Apos: LegacyDL: A Christmas Carol (both versions with Patrick Stewart and George C. Scott).

/ducks

I've seen neither. The George C. Scott version can't be that atrocious,can it?

Scott kicks ass as Scrooge. Not as much as Caine in the Muppet version, though.

Drunk Astronaut: Star Wars Special is here:

http://youtu.be/bbF_ecnlyTk

Thanks. Now I can watch it with Rifftrax again. You may have just made my day.

mercator_psi: Yes, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is abysmal and the MST3K version of it is as awesome as the original is horrid, but let's not forget the Mexican children's movie, "Santa Claus".

O Holy Crap, is that movie ever a stocking full of steamy reindeer shiat to try to watch, un-MSTied.

But again, add a little MST3K to the mix, and it's sheer epicness!

Here it is (clickypop), in its entirety. Enjoy also! I consider it as good as SCCtM.

/"Isn't this just bringing Santa down to Satan's level?"

I always preferred it to SCCtM, good as that is.

we need a real "KISS saves Santa"

Eddie goes to live with his grandparents, and meets their neighbor Russell, who is, and this is a direct quote, "covered with every speck of dirt from every farm in the world." Russell talks like a homeless Pepperidge Farm guy who owns one self-help book. "You know, this horse is kind of like you." "You know, this old house here is kind of like you." "You know, my pleurisy is kind of like you." Everything is kind of like Glenn Beck. (new window)

MST3K and Christmas?

It must be a Patrick Swayze Christmas (new window)!

Moonvale: we need a real "KISS saves Santa"

Im sure Gene Simmons is working on it. After all he needs the money he lost on the Kiss colostomy bags

mekkab: EatHam: You can't play solos with a bass



begs to differ

Yes, but that man is insane and his band sucks.

Arxane: Impasse: \*psychotic anamatronic reindeer laughing*

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hoo! (new window)

I noticed right from the start that the creepy clockwork deer's laugh was backtracked. I recently used a DSi and it's music player to play it the other way 'round. Trust me, it's still creepy.

oldebayer: EatHam: You can't play solos with a bass

Jaco Pastorius unavailable for raspberry-sounding comment.



Prefers to politely disagree.

EatHam: You can't play solos with a bass

A group of missionaries were traveling deep into the jungles of the Amazon. As they approached the sacred mountain, they could barely hear themselves think over the perpetual sound of the drums. One of them asked the guide, "Do they always drum like that?"

The guide nodded, and with a somewhat fearful expression, said, "Yes. Drums stop, is very bad. Very bad. We stop here, go up mountain tomorrow."

They spent the night camped at the village at the base of the mountain, and all night, the drums played. The missionaries asked again, "Do they ever stop?"

"No," their guide replied. "Drums stop, very bad. No stop drums."

The next morning, they woke up and breakfasted over the sound of the drums. As they were cleaning the dishes, a silence fell over the mountain, as the drums stopped. The villagers started screaming to cover the silence, they ran panicked and fled. A quick missionary grabbed the guide, who had tried to make a break for it, and shook him. "What's wrong, man? What does it mean when the drums stop?"

The guide, nearly dead with fear, replied, "Bass solo."

Jizz Master Zero: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has one of my favorite riffing streaks in the entire series.

Reporter: There's a rumor that you're going to use a rocket sled?
Santa Claus: No siree! We're going out the good ol' fashioned way.
Joel: Guns a-blazin'!
Santa Claus: Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon...
Tom Servo: Heh, yeah, so what's in the pipe, Santa?
Santa Claus: Oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names.
Crow: Yeah, cause they're sober.

There's a riff right before this stretch where the reporter greets Santa and then Crow, as Santa, says "Get the hell out of my shop!"

Cracks me up every time. !

Clearly the worst thing about Christmas is all that Jesus bullsh*t. That's why I'm personally working to make sure we take the "Christ" out of Christmas and replace it with "Buttsecks." Buttsecksmas. "Coming" to a home near you.

Crazy Talk Al: I dunno, guize...

I just saw the Rifftraxx version of "Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny."

I think I have a new tradition in my home for Christmas.

I watched about half of that this weekend. My lord. The Thumbelina sequence is simply horrific.