Well, there are several ways this can go. He can (a) be on the receiving end of a general's bullet; (b) begin a purge and solidify his power; (c) decide to unify Korea; (d ) try out some nuclear weapons or (e) all of the above.

There's no way this will end well.

Andromeda: The second there's a whiff of the army not paying attention you know countless people will make a run for the border.

I remember reading years ago in The Atlantic that this has been the single biggest reason countries like China and the U.S. have tried so hard to tolerate Kim Jong Il for so long. It also made the argument that back in the 90s that was the driving force behind Clinton getting so friendly with them and giving them those LWRs, food aid, etc. There was risk of destabilization and collapse so a bunch of countries decided it was probably better if the humanitarian crisis stayed nicely sealed behind Best Korean borders instead of spilling out all over the continent.

Kim Jong-Il's successor is seen as unqualified. And this differs from Kim Jong-Il how?

Any chance he's so westernized he decides to make sure he's got enough backing then opens the doors and says "We've been f'd up for too long please come fix this?"

/yeah I know its too early to be snorting hope dust.

....just wondering why "Dear Leader's" Obit wasn't found in the Entertainment tab????

The footage of the classroom with the people crying and the women beating on the desks seems so staged. They are looking at a TV and then wailing. What did they do call a bunch of people and say ok watch this? They say that he is westernized and by the look of his "I have Diabeetus" cheeks I wonder what his Fark handle is...

He's a nice guy. I met him at a Chinese buffet once. The only problem is that he hogged all the crab legs and stayed there for over 4 hours stuffing his face.

BillCo: Up next, the Korean war, part II. Now with more nuky goodness.

For the record that war never really ended, so technically we're still on part one.

Puppet regime or coup d'etat in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2..

At what point can we eliminate thirteen syllables, and replace "third-generation totalitarian dictator" with "king"?

Andromeda: This kid is what, 27 years old I think. I find it impossible to believe that some other general in the largest army per capita nation in the world won't have an urge to get into power.

May you live in interesting times, indeed.

Some general may already be in power. Daddy's official cause of death is an utter crock. Fatigue on a train? They might as well have said it was a car accident.

Lionel Mandrake: Let's hope he's not too insane

He's spent his whole life living in North Korea as a God King. There's like 99.99% chance that he's Daffy Duck-level crazy.

TV's Vinnie: ALL HAIL NEW LEADER FATTY-DING-DONGS!

Is that a"team rocket"patch on his jump suit?

jayhawk88: He's spent his whole life living in North Korea as a God King

Actually he hasn't, he went to school in Switzerland until he was 15.

I wonder if those missile tests they were talking about on the radio this morning were true.

FuturePastNow: Andromeda: This kid is what, 27 years old I think. I find it impossible to believe that some other general in the largest army per capita nation in the world won't have an urge to get into power.

May you live in interesting times, indeed.

Some general may already be in power. Daddy's official cause of death is an utter crock. Fatigue on a train? They might as well have said it was a car accident.

Here's what I can't figure out: The state-run media over there routinely throws out stuff like "Dear Leader shot 95 under par" and "Our soccer team is so amazing they cancelled the World Cup". And now all of the sudden Kim Possible is dying from fatigue on a train?

Where's the story about how Dear Leader stopped a meteor with his bare hands and ended an 11.5 magnitude earthquake, before finally succumbing to the super-volcano? How come the official cause of death isn't "Transforming into a being of pure energy and becoming one with the cosmos"?

FuturePastNow: Andromeda: This kid is what, 27 years old I think. I find it impossible to believe that some other general in the largest army per capita nation in the world won't have an urge to get into power.

May you live in interesting times, indeed.

Some general may already be in power. Daddy's official cause of death is an utter crock. Fatigue on a train? They might as well have said it was a car accident.

To be fair, I hear that asphyxiation by pillow can leave a guy feeling pretty tired.

/It was a bloodless coup?

WhyteRaven74: jayhawk88: He's spent his whole life living in North Korea as a God King

Actually he hasn't, he went to school in Switzerland until he was 15.

Even worse.

/huh, the more you know

attention span of a retarded fruit fly: The footage of the classroom with the people crying and the women beating on the desks seems so staged. They are looking at a TV and then wailing. What did they do call a bunch of people and say ok watch this? They say that he is westernized and by the look of his "I have Diabeetus" cheeks I wonder what his Fark handle is...

Watch a few documentaries (Kimjongilia, on Netflix), read a few books (Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea) on the topic. These people are sincere in their mourning.

The ruling Kim family are revered as Gods. They are credited with everything "good" in North Korea. The NK people have been taught since birth that they are living in paradise, and that the world outside has it much, much worse because the rest of the world does not have the Kims. Only the very old remember what life was like before the Kims took over.

It's absolutely fascinating. I, too, thought that it was all a show (and in some ways, it is), but the NKs are very, very sincere. Their God is dead.

New owner of the NO Hornets?

jayhawk88: FuturePastNow: Andromeda: This kid is what, 27 years old I think. I find it impossible to believe that some other general in the largest army per capita nation in the world won't have an urge to get into power.

May you live in interesting times, indeed.

Some general may already be in power. Daddy's official cause of death is an utter crock. Fatigue on a train? They might as well have said it was a car accident.

Here's what I can't figure out: The state-run media over there routinely throws out stuff like "Dear Leader shot 95 under par" and "Our soccer team is so amazing they cancelled the World Cup". And now all of the sudden Kim Possible is dying from fatigue on a train?

Where's the story about how Dear Leader stopped a meteor with his bare hands and ended an 11.5 magnitude earthquake, before finally succumbing to the super-volcano? How come the official cause of death isn't "Transforming into a being of pure energy and becoming one with the cosmos"?

You can only push the BS so far.

My guess is that they wanted to show that he worked himself to death for the People.

They've been painting that picture his entire life; this was just the final stroke.

In all seriousness we should send Michael Jordan over there with every pair of Jordan sneakers ever made as a token of good will.

And if we feel gutsy have Jordan play the entire North Korean National Basketball team and if he wins then no more nukes ever.

Sarah Palin's Conscience: They've been painting that picture his entire life; this was just the final stroke.

I see what you did there.

RminusQ: It isn't really an "end". What comes after the military coup?

A few intelligent military leaders that know better opening the door to aid? The hungry masses that worship Dear Leader as a god will turn ever so quick once things like food and entertainment start existing.

/we can only hope.

FredaDeStilleto: Well, there are several ways this can go. He can (a) be on the receiving end of a general's bullet; (b) begin a purge and solidify his power; (c) decide to unify Korea; (d ) try out some nuclear weapons or (e) all of the above.

There's no way this will end well.

They said the same thing back in the 90s when Kim Il Sung died. Thankfully, there's been no shooting war. Lots of people thought that the aggression that NK got into a little while ago was to shore up support with the military in advance of Kim Jong Il's death.

Kim Jong-Il's successor is fond of James Bond and Michael Jordan, and is seen as unqualified to rule. Awesome (cnn.com)

I thought Obama was Kenyan, not Korean....

I wonder if he's just as vulnerable to Christmas lights as his old man. Do vulnerabilities to Christmas lights run in the family?

attention span of a retarded fruit fly: The footage of the classroom with the people crying and the women beating on the desks seems so staged. They are looking at a TV and then wailing. What did they do call a bunch of people and say ok watch this? They say that he is westernized and by the look of his "I have Diabeetus" cheeks I wonder what his Fark handle is...

Kind of, yeah. The TVs that are distributed in North Korea only get one channel and only work during hours designated by the government. The only thing they put on those TVs is government propaganda.

I'm thinking the generals might keep him around. Their system only works so long as they have a semi-divine figure at the top.

LegacyDL: In all seriousness we should send Michael Jordan over there with every pair of Jordan sneakers ever made as a token of good will.

And if we feel gutsy have Jordan play the entire North Korean National Basketball team and if he wins then no more nukes ever.

I think we've actually sent them Jordan memorabilia before, like shoes or basketballs signed by Michael Jordan. Kim Jong-Il was also a huge fan, IIRC.

Sarah Palin's Conscience: jayhawk88: FuturePastNow: Andromeda: This kid is what, 27 years old I think. I find it impossible to believe that some other general in the largest army per capita nation in the world won't have an urge to get into power.

May you live in interesting times, indeed.

Some general may already be in power. Daddy's official cause of death is an utter crock. Fatigue on a train? They might as well have said it was a car accident.

Here's what I can't figure out: The state-run media over there routinely throws out stuff like "Dear Leader shot 95 under par" and "Our soccer team is so amazing they cancelled the World Cup". And now all of the sudden Kim Possible is dying from fatigue on a train?

Where's the story about how Dear Leader stopped a meteor with his bare hands and ended an 11.5 magnitude earthquake, before finally succumbing to the super-volcano? How come the official cause of death isn't "Transforming into a being of pure energy and becoming one with the cosmos"?

You can only push the BS so far.

My guess is that they wanted to show that he worked himself to death for the People.

They've been painting that picture his entire life; this was just the final stroke.

Brilliant. +1 Internets for the awesome pun.

The future of the world be will be decided on in a game of NBA Jam. Hell, Obama is already in the game.

TV's Vinnie: [o.onionstatic.com image 250x292][images.wikia.com image 250x200]
ALL HAIL NEW LEADER FATTY-DING-DONGS!

Hey goofball, look who's all neutered! You are! Yeah you're neutered, huh goofball, yeah! Who's a neutered guy?

jayhawk88: Lionel Mandrake: Let's hope he's not too insane

He's spent his whole life living in North Korea as a God King. There's like 99.99% chance that he's Daffy Duck-level crazy.

Well, his older brother did try to sneak out of the country and thus fell out of favor to be the new dear leader... So maybe there is a shred of decency/sanity in the genes somewhere?

loser0: At what point can we eliminate thirteen syllables, and replace "third-generation totalitarian dictator" with "king"?

thank you for making me do math so early in the morning.

Fizpez: Any chance he's so westernized he decides to make sure he's got enough backing then opens the doors and says "We've been f'd up for too long please come fix this?"

/yeah I know its too early to be snorting hope dust.

Saif Gaddafi was 'westernized' too. When the shiat hit the fan, he followed in his father's footsteps.

The greatest golfer to ever live. Kim Jong Il had 11 hole-in-ones the only time he ever played golf.