FARK.com: (6826623) Carnival Cruises to sponsor first "horror convention" at sea. No word if this is just a clever rebranding of the standard norovirus and suspicious shellfish on a regular cruise or if this costs extra

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		Carnival Cruises to sponsor first "horror convention" at sea. No word if this is just a clever rebranding of the standard norovirus and suspicious shellfish on a regular cruise or if this costs extra (travel.usatoday.com)		28
		More: Amusing, Carnival Cruises, survival horror, fairs, slasher films, Fest Magazine, Jason Voorhees, Hellraiser, political convention

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28 Comments (+0 »)

dahmers love zombie

2011-12-18 10:05:13 PM

Every Carnival cruise I've been on was a horror convention. Food is Golden Corral at sea, drinks are stupid expensive (they motherfarking x-ray your luggage to make sure you don't sneak liquor onboard), ports are tourist traps, excursions are super stupid expensive, duty-free is more expensive than I pay locally, absolutely everything but the very basics is extra, the rooms are so small that if it were a Super 8 you'd leave in disgust (unless you pay upwards of two grand per person for a week, which gets you a NORMAL "hotel room" sized room). They pay the waiters/room stewards almost nothing, so you're basically expected to put down a minimum of a hundred bucks a cabin and a hundred and a half per 4-top in tips.

You can probably tell I'm not a fan of cruising in general, but the trips I've taken on RCCL and NCL were at least vaguely elegant. Carnival is like the low-rent casino at the fringe of the Strip in Vegas -- garish as hell and out to soak you for every single cent.

The only saving grace Carnival had was the Paradise back when it was smoke-free. At least you could hang in the casino without having to throw your clothes away afterwards.

unlikely

2011-12-18 10:34:43 PM

Technically it won't be the first. Sci-fi/Horror author Carrie Vaughn is the GoH at VaughnCon II which will take place aboard a ship in January. There may have been others before, too.

unlikely

2011-12-18 10:55:31 PM

... and they appear to be sold out.

Snapper Carr

2011-12-18 11:12:42 PM

Obligatory. (and probably nsfw)

itastelikechicken

2011-12-18 11:15:13 PM

Try saying "suspicious shellfish" 5 times real fast.

Somaticasual

2011-12-18 11:16:29 PM

So they're trading zombies of the mediocre and the drunk for zombies in costume?

Lateral move..

Mugato

2011-12-18 11:18:14 PM

Snapper Carr: Obligatory. (and probably nsfw)

That singer chick was hot. Well, before she was cut in half.

Why would anyone go on a cruise? It sounds boring as shiat. Is it an old person thing?

Beluga Heights

2011-12-18 11:18:53 PM

Here to mention A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again.

FeedTheCollapse

2011-12-18 11:25:52 PM

Ethnic Vegetable

2011-12-18 11:26:21 PM

Seconding Beluga. It looked like fun. The midwest touristy types were certainly having fun. I couldn't take the disgusting food, bovine-level entertainment or pitiful accommodations. I inwardly rejoiced when the Splendor listed, felt that I finally had my money's worth of entertainment after that happened.

Beluga Heights

2011-12-18 11:29:58 PM

Beautiful, Ethnic Vegetable, I'll add from teh wiki:

advertisement that pretends to be art is, at absolute best, like somebody who smiles warmly at you only because he wants something from you. This is dishonest, but what's sinister is the cumulative effect that such dishonesty has on us: since it offers a perfect facsimile or simulacrum of goodwill without goodwill's real spirit, it messes with our heads and eventually starts upping our defenses even in cases of genuine smiles and real art and true goodwill. It makes us feel confused and lonely and impotent and angry and scared. It causes despair.

Apos

2011-12-18 11:38:06 PM

This is probably as hokey as advertised.

MrEricSir

2011-12-18 11:43:59 PM

I have a hard time with boats... I usually end up throwing up.

Not because I get seasick, but because of all the alcohol.

bdub77

2011-12-19 12:36:18 AM

Done in one.

Didn't they do that horror cruise a few months ago? It featured spam, pop tarts, and no running water or toilets. Didn't sound like a lot of fun.

But seriously if you ever want to go whale watching on a cruise, go on Carnival. They hand out free insulin shots as you enter the ship.

Serial

2011-12-19 12:38:23 AM

FTA:

Among the scary movie celebrities taking part in the event are Doug Bradley (Pinhead from the "Hellraiser" series), Tony Todd (the "Candyman" series; Final Destination 1, 3, 5; and Hatchet 1 and 2), Danielle Harris (Hatchet 2; Zombie's Halloween 1 & 2; Halloween 4 & 5)

Yep. Sign me up. A week on a cruise ship with Danielle Harris is worth whatever food poisoning I get.

1.bp.blogspot.com

/Hot. Oh so very hot.
//Also, didn't know she had a big hip piece. Makes her just that much hotter.

Ethnic Vegetable

2011-12-19 01:14:14 AM

Beluga Heights: Beautiful, Ethnic Vegetable, I'll add from teh wiki:

Oh yes, and now I remember the beer...the circle of suffering is complete! Damn you, Carnival!

steamingpile

2011-12-19 01:38:37 AM

Or are they just going to let their crew rape the passengers like normal?

AaronSynn

2011-12-19 06:02:23 AM

Serial: FTA:

Among the scary movie celebrities taking part in the event are Doug Bradley (Pinhead from the "Hellraiser" series), Tony Todd (the "Candyman" series; Final Destination 1, 3, 5; and Hatchet 1 and 2), Danielle Harris (Hatchet 2; Zombie's Halloween 1 & 2; Halloween 4 & 5)

Yep. Sign me up. A week on a cruise ship with Danielle Harris is worth whatever food poisoning I get.

Came here to say the exact same thing....

OtherLittleGuy

2011-12-19 06:50:28 AM

Two words: Trek Cruise.

Somaticasual

2011-12-19 07:18:57 AM

OtherLittleGuy: Two words: Trek Cruise.

Heh. They couldn't handle the data center onboard..

//plus, that's WAY too much sunlight.

s1ugg0

2011-12-19 07:38:23 AM

dahmers love zombie: Every Carnival cruise I've been on was a horror convention. Food is Golden Corral at sea, drinks are stupid expensive (they motherfarking x-ray your luggage to make sure you don't sneak liquor onboard), ports are tourist traps, excursions are super stupid expensive, duty-free is more expensive than I pay locally, absolutely everything but the very basics is extra, the rooms are so small that if it were a Super 8 you'd leave in disgust (unless you pay upwards of two grand per person for a week, which gets you a NORMAL "hotel room" sized room). They pay the waiters/room stewards almost nothing, so you're basically expected to put down a minimum of a hundred bucks a cabin and a hundred and a half per 4-top in tips.

You can probably tell I'm not a fan of cruising in general, but the trips I've taken on RCCL and NCL were at least vaguely elegant. Carnival is like the low-rent casino at the fringe of the Strip in Vegas -- garish as hell and out to soak you for every single cent.

The only saving grace Carnival had was the Paradise back when it was smoke-free. At least you could hang in the casino without having to throw your clothes away afterwards.

I went on 1 Carnival cruise and I had completely the opposite experience. Drinks were priced like the bars back home (but I live right outside New York so I'm used to higher priced drinks). And I thought the food was quite good. I must have had three different kinds of escargot all of which were excellent. The lunch spread was average but I always found dinner to be quite good. I'm not going to call you picky but I never ran into one discomfort that wasn't easily ignored. I've been looking forward to another cruise. I was thinking about NCL but if Carnival was the right price I'd go with them again.

The only bad thing to happen to me on the trip was I learned a horrible lesson. If you're taking ginger pills to avoid sea sickness you don't feel the beginning of the spins while drinking. That next morning was a rough one. I spent hours in the hot tub trying not to die.

OtherLittleGuy

2011-12-19 10:33:07 AM

Somaticasual: OtherLittleGuy: Two words: Trek Cruise.

Heh. They couldn't handle the data center onboard..

//plus, that's WAY too much sunlight.

It's real and been around for 20+ years (new window)

/'91 cruise with wil, George Takei, Gene Roddenberry and Majel, and over two dozen others to Mexico and back

Genju

2011-12-19 12:23:19 PM

s1ugg0: dahmers love zombie: Every Carnival cruise I've been on was a horror convention. Food is Golden Corral at sea, drinks are stupid expensive (they motherfarking x-ray your luggage to make sure you don't sneak liquor onboard), ports are tourist traps, excursions are super stupid expensive, duty-free is more expensive than I pay locally, absolutely everything but the very basics is extra, the rooms are so small that if it were a Super 8 you'd leave in disgust (unless you pay upwards of two grand per person for a week, which gets you a NORMAL "hotel room" sized room). They pay the waiters/room stewards almost nothing, so you're basically expected to put down a minimum of a hundred bucks a cabin and a hundred and a half per 4-top in tips.

You can probably tell I'm not a fan of cruising in general, but the trips I've taken on RCCL and NCL were at least vaguely elegant. Carnival is like the low-rent casino at the fringe of the Strip in Vegas -- garish as hell and out to soak you for every single cent.

The only saving grace Carnival had was the Paradise back when it was smoke-free. At least you could hang in the casino without having to throw your clothes away afterwards.

I went on 1 Carnival cruise and I had completely the opposite experience. Drinks were priced like the bars back home (but I live right outside New York so I'm used to higher priced drinks). And I thought the food was quite good. I must have had three different kinds of escargot all of which were excellent. The lunch spread was average but I always found dinner to be quite good. I'm not going to call you picky but I never ran into one discomfort that wasn't easily ignored. I've been looking forward to another cruise. I was thinking about NCL but if Carnival was the right price I'd go with them again.

The only bad thing to happen to me on the trip was I learned a horrible lesson. If you're taking ginger pills to avoid sea sickness you don't feel the beginning of the spins while drinking. That ...

Probably just stuck with the crowd everywhere he went. The thing most people didn't seem to know was that the restaurant you go to for your formal meals at dinner also had breakfast and lunch. You could get some pretty high quality meals 3 meals a day. The alcohol is expensive if you are used to living in some low cost area (my double crowns were $12 each). Duty free being nearly the same as taxed? No way. 2 Liters of Crown Royal for $30 where it's normally like $30 per liter at best. 2 liters of Tortuga 140 proof for $11 per liter from Grand Cayman. You can hardly find that even selling in the states, and normally it's more than double.

As for not getting your liquor smuggled on board, well I don't know which port you went through. The port of Miami has a very bribe-loving loading crew.

Also, don't get to shiatty places like Nassau or Jamaica. You get nothing but hagglers and tourist traps. Grand Cayman was gorgeous.

/Hopes next cruise is to the Virgin Islands

EdVenture

2011-12-19 01:19:41 PM

I wouldn't say no to a
1.bp.blogspot.com

and

sandwich.

schubie

2011-12-19 05:20:24 PM

A cruise ship seems like my idea of hell. Like being stranded on a strip mall at sea.

Ash

2011-12-19 09:14:38 PM

zomg! must get on this ship!! The wife and I routinely attend local horror conventions, but being locked on a boat with one would be twice as nice.

FlyingJ

2011-12-19 11:27:06 PM

Beluga Heights Here to mention A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again.

I was blowing off our family's cruise based mostly on that essay 'til my sister reminded me "You know what David Foster Wallace thought WAS a fun thing to do once? Score a Walt Disney Fellowship @ California's successful battlesite from "World War Z" & then hang yourself with the dog's collar in the garage so your wife can find you! Get on the damn boat!" I had the total Green Eggs & Ham Reaction, what s1ugg0 said. You can't be a too-cool hipster a-hole everywhere you go. You don't have to take the excursions-or @ least the overpriced ones. It's you-and your family & friends, and the ocean-everyt other want or need is catered to. If you have a problem with that, I feel sorry for you-but everybody's in Their Own Movie. Frankly, it's FUN to get up @ 3 AM for a free calzone on the Lido Deck while the mountains of Cuba are stretched out before you. And if it's booze you seek I relied on these geniuses in Miami mentored by Sidney Frank who were nice enough 2 stick some really good bourbon in a wine bottle for my onboard purposes; Link (new window)

birdistasty

2011-12-21 01:43:25 AM

I thought I was going to be the only one who admitted to thoroughly enjoying my cruise on the Pride in September. I can't wait to do it again next December.

/can do a balcony for a 7nighter for $456/person
//yep, I shop at Walmart, too
///you canNOT beat the price of the steakhouse when compared to a land-based restaurant

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