FARK.com: (6825742) Jesus Crust

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		Jesus Crust (blog.chron.com)		62
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12954 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Dec 2011 at 3:02 PM | Favorite | share:

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Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends!

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62 Comments (+0 »)

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edmo

2011-12-18 09:29:08 AM

Perfect toast every time. It's a miracle.

AbbeySomeone

2011-12-18 09:45:38 AM

Holy white bread, it's the only way to start your day.

Ennuipoet

2011-12-18 12:43:13 PM

1)Buy Toaster
2) Make Jesus toast
3) Sell to Christians on Ebya
4) Profit

CanisNoir

2011-12-18 12:49:06 PM

Okay, a couple of observations...

1) The lady who mistook Jesus for Osama Bin Laden made me laugh very hard.
2) The reporter was pretty smokin!
3) The Host on the Toast is very close to The Host with the Most and that is now stuck in my head.
4) The Image of Christ on your toast is not a very good reminder of why we have "Christmas" unless you're giving that toast away to the homeless.
5) I don't know how I'd feel about "eating" the Virgin Mary.

That said, I give props to the seller, he had an idea, found a market for it and is making some money.

Jamdug!

2011-12-18 02:29:02 PM

BlippityBleep

2011-12-18 03:06:35 PM

I have a couple of fundie relatives I would love to buy that for.

CygnusDarius

2011-12-18 03:07:02 PM

I think you start praising god when you're face to face with one of these things:

30.media.tumblr.com

JohnAnnArbor

2011-12-18 03:07:09 PM

fusillade762

2011-12-18 03:08:11 PM

vudukungfu

2011-12-18 03:08:13 PM

Jesus Crust!

chaddsfarkprefect

2011-12-18 03:12:18 PM

There goes my eBay business.

DarwiOdrade

2011-12-18 03:16:19 PM

Does not approve

Sudlow

2011-12-18 03:21:06 PM

So good it's a sin
Jesus is coming, get some jam

jake_lex

2011-12-18 03:22:18 PM

It could be a miracle, it could be bullshiat. There's only one thing we know for sure. It's a goddamn gold mine.

bonzeemer

2011-12-18 03:22:48 PM

I could make millions!.......

comedyforanimators.com

Oh for fuc...I'm Jewish....

Happy Hours

2011-12-18 03:25:59 PM

The company, Burnt Impressions, sells 50 to 100 toasters a day. The customized appliances are also available in other patterns, including the Virgin Mary, a peace sign and a pot leaf. Hmm.

FloydA

2011-12-18 03:26:12 PM

LoneWolf343

2011-12-18 03:27:09 PM

That's taking "This bread is My body" a bit literally.

SpaceButler

2011-12-18 03:32:50 PM

Two-word-religious-pun-headline trifecta in play?

ordinarysteve

2011-12-18 03:36:12 PM

FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 377x371]
hahah. i have no idea what to make of this miracle

LordOfThePings

2011-12-18 03:38:05 PM

Happy Hours: The company, Burnt Impressions, sells 50 to 100 toasters a day. The customized appliances are also available in other patterns, including the Virgin Mary, a peace sign and a pot leaf. Hmm.

Motto: "Getting Toasted a Whole New Way"

One Bad Apple

2011-12-18 03:42:35 PM

Sad, started out as quite the showman too

FloydA

2011-12-18 03:45:46 PM

ordinarysteve: FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 377x371]
hahah. i have no idea what to make of this miracle

BLT?
Turkey Club?
Ham and Swiss?

urban.derelict

2011-12-18 03:46:00 PM

Lone Stranger

2011-12-18 04:05:01 PM

I want a Flying Spaghetti Monster toaster.

MBrady

2011-12-18 04:12:06 PM

So when it's a slow news day and cnn runs a story of someone seeing Jesus on their toast, is it because of this toaster?

/just sayin

johnny queso

2011-12-18 04:16:41 PM

FTFA: At Northwestern University, they found that the circuitry of the human brain sometimes gets people to catalog shapes as something meaningful to them, like an animal, face or something else.

"or something" isnt' the strongest way to finish up your article.

gweilo8888

2011-12-18 04:20:44 PM

Holy Split, Jesus Crust... who's going to step in and seal the deal on the "two word cuss pun trifecta" that's currently in play?

FloydA

2011-12-18 04:21:34 PM

johnny queso: FTFA: At Northwestern University, they found that the circuitry of the human brain sometimes gets people to catalog shapes as something meaningful to them, like an animal, face or something else.

"or something" isnt' the strongest way to finish up your article.

That's the edited version. The original read

"...an animal, face or totes like whatev."

KrispyKritter

2011-12-18 04:23:49 PM

taunting gift-givers with excellent possibilities late in the gift buying season fills me with sadness. timing: it's not just for engines you know, CNN dooshbags.

merry farking christmas. enjoy your damn cheese log.

ordinarysteve

2011-12-18 04:33:36 PM

FloydA: ordinarysteve: FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 377x371]
hahah. i have no idea what to make of this miracle

BLT?
Turkey Club?
Ham and Swiss?

A finch and tortoise sandwich mayhaps

EPR Paradox

2011-12-18 04:40:13 PM

NYRangers68

2011-12-18 04:45:40 PM

Tim Tebow probably has one of these

PrivateCaboose

2011-12-18 04:55:11 PM

Pfft, I've been eating Jesus bread for a long time.

And drinking the delicious Kool Aid.

Keizer_Ghidorah

2011-12-18 05:06:17 PM

Jesus appears on toast. Pffft, amateur.

lh6.ggpht.com

Go, Godzilla, go.

Fritriac

2011-12-18 05:09:32 PM

WTF

1. Make a toast
2. Pierce it with your finger/shotgun/p**** - or whatever you want
3. Enjoy your holey toast
4. ?
5. Profit!

Gyrfalcon

2011-12-18 05:12:24 PM

So will there now be more or less stupid stories of people seeing Jesus in food products?

Tergiversada

2011-12-18 05:13:14 PM

Jamdug!: [www.jonco48.com image 316x389].

/And we're done.

FloydA

2011-12-18 05:21:34 PM

Gyrfalcon: So will there now be more or less stupid stories of people seeing Jesus in food products?

Yes, I'm certain that the impending stories of Jesus toast will indeed be more or less stupid.

buckeyebrain

2011-12-18 05:25:45 PM

CygnusDarius: I think you start praising god when you're face to face with one of these things:

[30.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]

I'm afraid to ask, but... WTF is that thing?

Mini Ditka

2011-12-18 05:29:25 PM

FloydA

2011-12-18 05:40:04 PM

buckeyebrain: CygnusDarius: I think you start praising god when you're face to face with one of these things:

[30.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]

I'm afraid to ask, but... WTF is that thing?

It is a sandwich.

blondski

2011-12-18 06:00:13 PM

fusillade762: [www.kittyhell.com image 400x400]

I own that very toaster along with the matching waffle iron.

/don't judge me

urban.derelict

2011-12-18 06:07:11 PM

_/problem?

Cerebral Knievel

2011-12-18 06:12:28 PM

ahhh man!

ive been kicking this idea around for years in my head! but I wasn't going to go with a whole toaster, just little stainless steel inserts for your already existing non devine toaster.

sell them for $5 as a novelty item. use them to create seed money and a buzz and come out with a whole line of toaster stencils.

y'know... I can probably still do that.

phenn

2011-12-18 06:26:00 PM

Subby, I'm a little sorry the HOTY test is closed for 2011. This made me choke on my Cptn 'n' Diet.

But, that's me.

pantos

2011-12-18 06:30:29 PM

Fenton, FENTON!!!
Jesus Christ!

/no way related to the FA
//didn't RTFA either
///Jesus Christ!!

octavedoctor

2011-12-18 06:54:35 PM

No, no, it's Christ on a cracker.

DrippinBalls

2011-12-18 06:58:28 PM

Could I get a John the Baptist and a Moses on Rye? Oh shiat, make it a Morey Amsterdam, with extra pastrami.

FloydA

2011-12-18 07:04:08 PM

DrippinBalls: Could I get a John the Baptist and a Moses on Rye? Oh shiat, make it a Morey Amsterdam, with extra pastrami.

"If you order a Morey Amsterdam sandwich in Nashville, Tennessee, a big guy wearing a white sheet will come out of the back room with a baseball bat."

-Gumby

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