FARK.com: (6825633) I'll see your gold coin dropped into a Salvation Army kettle and raise you with a $2,000 diamond ring

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		I'll see your gold coin dropped into a Salvation Army kettle and raise you with a $2,000 diamond ring (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)		59
		More: Spiffy, Salvation Army, conduits

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Githerax

2011-12-18 08:11:32 AM

A waste- jewelry resale sucks.

Cerebral Knievel

2011-12-18 08:13:03 AM

Yep, diamonds are worthless. Even melting down the gold isn't going to get you much.

farkingatwork

2011-12-18 08:27:38 AM

Why support the salvation army? That shiat is homophobic.

In the past if you ever thought those bell ringers and so forth were annoying and not simply charitable? You'd have been right. They prey on the "help the poor/needy/homeless" without mentioning "via the evangelical homophobic church".

kd1s

2011-12-18 08:29:59 AM

I agree with fargingatwork, I won't give them a dime either.

SGT Ace

2011-12-18 08:33:28 AM

I see farkingatwork has it covered.

Miss Stein

2011-12-18 08:45:53 AM

Assuming it was deliberately put in the kettle.

i759.photobucket.com

Ow My Balls

2011-12-18 08:50:39 AM

Here is a handy guide to all of the Salvation Army's position statements from the horse's mouth itself. (new window)

Christians whose sexual orientation is primarily or exclusively same-sex are called upon to embrace celibacy as a way of life.

Got that? If you're gay, you're supposed to just let your prostate explode on its own.

there is no scriptural support for demeaning or mistreating anyone for reason of his or her sexual orientation.

...except that you don't get to have sex. Ever. Kind of like being a married heterosexual.

To be fair, there are some good things too:

We believe that, as God's children, we are called to exercise a clear priority for the least among us (Matthew 25: 31-46). The Salvation Army recognizes that poverty is a complex problem...

El Morro

2011-12-18 08:57:20 AM

farkingatwork: Why support the salvation army? That shiat is homophobic.

In the past if you ever thought those bell ringers and so forth were annoying and not simply charitable? You'd have been right. They prey on the "help the poor/needy/homeless" without mentioning "via the evangelical homophobic church".

Winner winner chicken dinner.

Red Cross can take their homophobia and cram it.

/doctors without borders and habitat for humanity FTW

pippi longstocking

2011-12-18 09:20:12 AM

This is what I think of people that give to charity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXpUwBJ2SS8 (new window)

doglover

2011-12-18 09:36:50 AM

Not everyone gives a crap about what's going in or out of your butt. The leaders of the Salvation Army are Christians, Leviticus is cut and dry, and it's really a shame that's the way things are.

But at the end of the day their thrift shops are fun. If you really want to change the world log the fark off Fark and open a chain of pro-homosexual charity thrift stores called Promo and you might just kill the beast entirely and in 100 years people will be like "Dost thou knoeth that Promo is anti-zorblatual!? Norg those norging norgers right in their norging norgs!" (I forsee a comeback of thou in the next 100 years) and really 100 years is the best any large organization can hope for.

I even have some jingles half baked for the advertisement.

*Shot of a guy buying old crap at a yard sale with big bills in hand*
Those other guys, they don't know mo'
All the smart folks they shop Promo.

We're on to something here. It could be the next big thing.

GBB

2011-12-18 09:37:41 AM

I'll see your gold coin and diamond ring, and raise you an M-80!

GBB

2011-12-18 09:40:23 AM

doglover: Not everyone gives a crap about what's going in or out of your butt.

I see: you think only males are homosexual. How quaint.

SharkTrager

2011-12-18 09:42:10 AM

El Morro: Red Cross can take their homophobia and cram it.

/doctors without borders and habitat for humanity FTW

2 things:

1) Red Cross is not Salvation Army
2) Doctors Without Borders doesn't help the same people as the Salvation Army

kim jong-un

2011-12-18 09:43:13 AM

Ow My Balls: Here is a handy guide to all of the Salvation Army's position statements from the horse's mouth itself. (new window)

Christians whose sexual orientation is primarily or exclusively same-sex are called upon to embrace celibacy as a way of life.

Got that? If you're gay, you're supposed to just let your prostate explode on its own.

there is no scriptural support for demeaning or mistreating anyone for reason of his or her sexual orientation.

...except that you don't get to have sex. Ever. Kind of like being a married heterosexual.

To be fair, there are some good things too:

We believe that, as God's children, we are called to exercise a clear priority for the least among us (Matthew 25: 31-46). The Salvation Army recognizes that poverty is a complex problem...

It's actually a rather gay friendly policy. They are just saying, 'We believe that you shouldn't engage in homosexual activity. We recognize that it may not be your choice.'

It's giving compassion to the people, while only judging action.

Their actions continue to be one of a decent charity, I don't agree with all of their beliefs, but like politics, I don't think I'll ever find someone who is an exact mirror of my own positions.

For example, I think the ACLU is wrong in some of their interpretations, but they arent an org that goes out of their way to fight in the negative, so I can support them in general, and for topics where I agree with what they do.

video man

2011-12-18 09:47:33 AM

GBB: I'll see your gold coin and diamond ring, and raise you an M-80!

What about a one-of-a-kind tube-vinyl recording?

doglover

2011-12-18 09:50:27 AM

GBB: doglover: Not everyone gives a crap about what's going in or out of your butt.

I see: you think only males are homosexual. How quaint.

I see you have the logic of a child and the tact of lout.

"Why this person made a post in an internet forum at 11:43 PM on a Sunday. It certainly must mean that he has poured his entire values system into those carefully chosen words and considered their interpretation more than anything else in his entire life."

Get over yourself. Lesbians like buttsex too. Specifically Marja Lewis Ryan as admitted on the podcast Blow Hard for citation purposed.

Again, I say not everyone gives a damn what's going in or out of your butt.

MNguy

2011-12-18 09:58:08 AM

There's a guy running around the Twin Cities dropping wads of $100's in the kettles. Homophobia aside, it's a good charity.

SithLord

2011-12-18 10:00:31 AM

Gold is close to $2000/oz so this isn't much of a raise.

thelordofcheese

2011-12-18 10:12:44 AM

Why? So they can indoctrinate more alcoholics with easy answers delivered by a difficult cult instead of providing them with real solutions with actual meaning that isn't pointless busy work to keep them occupied?

Jamdug!

2011-12-18 10:42:09 AM

How often do you think this happens and is NOT reported? I'd say at least once a year.

GungFu

2011-12-18 10:55:33 AM

Miss Stein: Assuming it was deliberately put in the kettle.

[i759.photobucket.com image 520x206]

wbtv.images.worldnow.com

I think they changed the design of the kettle when people saw Home Alone and did the sticky-hand-in-the-kettle-pull-out-handful-of-coins thing.

HoneyDog

2011-12-18 11:33:49 AM

Homophobia aside, it's a good charity

Except, it's not a charity, it's CHURCH.

Tax Boy

2011-12-18 11:37:25 AM

You know what other "army" is primarily motivated by "salvation"?

naughtyrev

2011-12-18 11:42:21 AM

I would not be surprised if these gold coins put in the kettle are the exact same coin year after year. SA just keeps them in a safe, distributes them to certain ringers and have them slip them in for a "feel good" bit of publicity. This ring may be the same thing.

Barakku

2011-12-18 11:47:01 AM

farkingatwork: Why support the salvation army? That shiat is homophobic.

In the past if you ever thought those bell ringers and so forth were annoying and not simply charitable? You'd have been right. They prey on the "help the poor/needy/homeless" without mentioning "via the evangelical homophobic church".

Yep. Don't give them a dime, don't want to encourage their practices of annoying people into giving money anyway.

PraetorianXVIII

2011-12-18 11:48:17 AM

they do much more harm than good. I'll donate whenever I can. Piss and moan all you want.

PraetorianXVIII

2011-12-18 11:49:58 AM

"good than harm" dammit all

ARC7

2011-12-18 12:07:24 PM

farkingatwork
Why support the salvation army? That shiat is homophobic.

They don't think people should be having gaysex, but they still do more for impoverished gay people than self-righteous liberals who pat themselves on the back for their tolerance but do nothing to actually help those in need.

The Salvation Army is one of the better charities in the world. Unlike many so-called charitable organizations, it uses almost all of its funds to directly help the poor, spending very little on administration or fundraising. So instead of just saying "I don't give to this organization because it is homophobic," why don't you tell us which organizations you donate to instead? If you have superior alternatives, I would love to hear them.

bravian

2011-12-18 12:25:47 PM

ARC7: They don't think people should be having gaysex, but they still do more for impoverished gay people than self-righteous liberals who pat themselves on the back for their tolerance but do nothing to actually help those in need.

This isn't just a "gay" thing. They also don't think straight people should have sex unless properly married. They are on record of splitting up men and women who are girlfriend/boyfriend when "offering" shelter to them. Its one thing to believe in the bible - its quite another to impose those beliefs on someone who doesn't share them while pretending to be charitable to them.

bravian

2011-12-18 12:27:57 PM

doglover: Get over yourself. Lesbians like buttsex too. Specifically Marja Lewis Ryan as admitted on the podcast Blow Hard for citation purposed.

Get over yourself? You are the one obsessed with "buttsex". Why is that? Do you spend all your waking hours fantasizing about it? Do you have something to share with all of us? Come one now - we are all friends here - we won't judge.

/just come out already
//this is fark - damn right we will judge

OBBN

2011-12-18 12:44:13 PM

If it is a $2000 retail ring they'll be lucky to get $150 out of it when they try to convert it to something they can use like cash. Diamonds, biggest scam ever put over on the American public.

ARC7

2011-12-18 12:49:05 PM

bravian: This isn't just a "gay" thing. They also don't think straight people should have sex unless properly married.

No way. I thought that Christians were totally about having no-strings-attached sex with strangers in truck stop restrooms. :-P

I agree that the Salvation Army isn't an ideal organization, but the question is what charities to use instead.

RidersOfLohan

2011-12-18 01:22:27 PM

this did happen for real a few times, but most of the stories about the rare coin, etc are faked by them to get free publicity and more donations

funmonger

2011-12-18 01:45:38 PM

In the 60's, these bastards were connected to Quebec social services in such a way that if you happened to be a white woman with half-black kids, you could expect a call from CPS when you applied for a farking xmas basket. Why? Because half-black kids.
What saints.

Resolute

2011-12-18 01:46:20 PM

As with others, I find nothing "spiffy" about giving even a penny to those bigots, even if they probably wont get 10% of what the ring is supposedly worth.

funmonger

2011-12-18 01:47:57 PM

ARC7: why don't you tell us which organizations you donate to instead?

The United Way.

davidphogan

2011-12-18 02:02:11 PM

funmonger: ARC7: why don't you tell us which organizations you donate to instead?

The United Way.

I love those guys.

GeeksAreMyPeeps

2011-12-18 02:06:34 PM

String bets are not allowed

dragonchild

2011-12-18 02:10:03 PM

ARC7: They don't think people should be having gaysex, but they still do more for impoverished gay people than self-righteous liberals who pat themselves on the back for their tolerance but do nothing to actually help those in need.

Liberals who actually help those in need ALSO do more to help impoverished gay people than self-righteous liberals who pat themselves on the back for their tolerance but do nothing to actually help those in need. As an added bonus, you get it both ways -- no two-faced homophobia either.

So, what's your point? If you have to look for some moral low ground to compare yourself against, it's a sign you're probably not as high up as you can go.

SamFlagg

2011-12-18 02:29:46 PM

I guess this is a silly question, but is every thread where the salvation army is the focus going to devolve into a "Let's hate the salvation army?" thread?

Miss Stein

2011-12-18 02:37:17 PM

OBBN: Diamonds, biggest scam ever put over on the American public.

Oh, they have their place.

i759.photobucket.com

CthulhuCalling

2011-12-18 02:47:40 PM

Tax Boy: You know what other "army" is primarily motivated by "salvation"?

Army of Darkness?

CthulhuCalling

2011-12-18 02:51:42 PM

$2000 diamond engagement ring?
I got a buddy who knows all about $2000 engagement rings.

I'll give you $50 for it. Best I can do.

Hollie Maea

2011-12-18 02:53:20 PM

doglover: half baked

This makes the rest of your post make sense.

Unhip1

2011-12-18 02:58:28 PM

O Bla De, O Bla Da
Life goes on, Brah

La la la la Life goes on.

kona

2011-12-18 03:48:15 PM

Jim Norman

caramba421

2011-12-18 05:10:17 PM

Tax Boy: You know what other "army" is primarily motivated by "salvation"?

Lord's Resistance Army?

awalkingecho

2011-12-18 06:40:20 PM

GeeksAreMyPeeps: String bets are not allowed

Nice. You can take down this pot.

Hydra

2011-12-18 08:18:08 PM

farkingatwork: Why support the salvation army? That shiat is homophobic.

In the past if you ever thought those bell ringers and so forth were annoying and not simply charitable? You'd have been right. They prey on the "help the poor/needy/homeless" without mentioning "via the evangelical homophobic church".

Curious - what gay organization has helped as many poor people out of poverty as the Salvation Army?

/or could it be that they're just a bunch of chickenshiats who only care about their own pet issues who haven't lifted a finger to help someone else?

farkingatwork

2011-12-18 08:37:39 PM

Hydra: farkingatwork: Why support the salvation army? That shiat is homophobic.

In the past if you ever thought those bell ringers and so forth were annoying and not simply charitable? You'd have been right. They prey on the "help the poor/needy/homeless" without mentioning "via the evangelical homophobic church".

Curious - what gay organization has helped as many poor people out of poverty as the Salvation Army?

/or could it be that they're just a bunch of chickenshiats who only care about their own pet issues who haven't lifted a finger to help someone else?

First on the list, Doctors Without Borders, as mentioned. They have a lot of gay doctors (including a few folks I know personally) who are (obviously) gay and support Doctors Without Borders. As opposed to bullshiat "religious morality" of the SA.

Nice try on the troll, though.

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