Santa then rips off his hat and reveals that he is Iranian.

/He can't rip off his beard, since that is real.

Something something....Marcus on Santa's lap...something something.... grinding.....

/too lazy to actually come up with a real joke.

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Something something....Marcus on Santa's lap...something something.... grinding.....

/too lazy to actually come up with a real joke.

Marcus Claus: Here little boy... come sit on Marcus Claus' lap and we'll talk about whatever pops up.

//meh.

I saw Marcus kissing Santa Clause last night.

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Something something....Marcus on Santa's lap...something something.... grinding.....

/too lazy to actually come up with a real joke.

Santa! I've got something round, hard and shiny with a head on it in my pocket! Wanna see?

/it's a quarter

Isn't Santa an anagram for...................

Michele Bachmann is so freaking boring now that everyone knows she hasn't a chance in hell of winning anything.

If Gingrich gets the nomination, i hope he picks Sarah Palin to be his VP. That would make sense because she's more "zany" than he is, so he will seem less zany in comparison. That whole Sarah Palin thing was so good the first time, i want to see it AGAIN. She'll have learnt a few things and will be more ready this time, especially if she can write shiat down on her hands. Can you imagine?

"What newspapers and publications do you read on a daily basis?"

-looks at hand-

"The Washington Post, the National Review, and the Christian Science Monitor, dontchaknow!"

And the crowd goes wild. America loves a comeback kid. Run, Sarah, run. Bachmann is BORING.

Well, let's see what I have here...

It's coal! A lump of coal.

In other news:

Why didn't she ask Santa to un-gay her husband?

Kumana Wanalaia: Well, let's see what I have here...

It's coal! A lump of coal.

Santa is a right wing terrorist! How dare he distribute a substance that is known to pollute the atmosphere and spread cancel among the children?!?!?! Won't someone think of the children?

Brought to you by the committee to Re-Elect Barrack Hussein Obama.

stoli n coke: Why didn't she ask Santa to un-gay her husband?

If she un-gayed her husband, he might want to have sex with her.

FTFA: "What I want to say in response to that is that I don't hate Muslims," Bachmann said. "I love the American people and as president of the United States my goal will be to keep America safe,free, and sovereign.

Okay Michelle, I'm gonna ask this nice and slow for you, and I want a simple yes or no.

Do you consider Muslims living in the United States... American?

Also I don't think the big G.O.D would enjoy you asking a Pagan symbol for the Iowa nom.

Bucky Katt: The invisible man in the sky is appalled by Bachmann's presumption.

It's actually pretty good for the economic tyranny known as Christmas™ (the REAL one). Everyone finally will be working. As elves. The employee discount isn't too bad.

"Santa, I've been so good this year!" Bachmann shouted. "All I want for Christmas is to win the Iowa caucuses!"
"I will try my best," Santa replied.

In other news, Santa is now real, having willed himself into existence just to deny ever having anything to do with Bachmann.



In other other news, due to the circumstances of his creation, newly-corporealized Santa is a beefy, belligerent drunk with serious anger management issues. If he breaks into your home and tells you he's going to stuff your stocking and trim your tree, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

I love SATAN eerrrr STAN-A err SANTA

Yeah SANTA

Thisismicheleslasyhopeifshecanwinaoutofleftfieldwinshecanwinanythingba cchmannisthenaturalleaderbutyouallcantseethatbecausesheissoperfectwhen wasthelasttimeinremotehostoryhavewesensuchastrongwoman?

Snarfangel: Santa then rips off his hat and reveals that he is Iranian.

/He can't rip off his beard, since that is real.

That would be so unspeakably awesome. It would be sort of like the scene in Harold and Kumar where a woman on the plain suddenly sees Kumar as a terrorist, but a %1000x better.

Santa's a socialist....



He takes from those who have and gives them to those who haven't....

Kumana Wanalaia: Well, let's see what I have here...

It's coal! A lump of coal.

There are things worse than coal...

At least the Scarecrow knew he needed a brain.

Wish in one hand and shiat the other. See which one fills up first.

/Thanks for the pragmatism, Pops.

Why is Bachmann begging that pagan usurper to the throne of Christ to reward her with power and material gain?!?

That heathen monster just lost my vote.