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(CNN)   Kobe Bryant's wife done seeing therapist   (cnn.com) divider line 86
    More: Obvious  
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3340 clicks; posted to Sports » on 17 Dec 2011 at 12:00 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-12-16 11:18:56 PM  
blogs.heretv.comwww.addictinginfo.org
 
2011-12-17 12:02:53 AM  
Cha-ching!
 
2011-12-17 12:03:10 AM  
By the time the lawyers are done with him, Kobe's gonna be feeling like a 19-year-old hotel employee from Colorado.
 
2011-12-17 12:06:10 AM  
As punishment, Kobe will be sentenced to play in Denver the rest of his career.
 
2011-12-17 12:08:05 AM  
The wife of Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant filed for divorce Friday,

That's all that I read.

If she punts, she bank$

/even if it's a shank punt
//even if the snap goes over her punter head and lands in her end-zone
///even if the center, while fake-snapping the football, stands up and passes it to the defense
 
2011-12-17 12:08:09 AM  
Denver? Ha, he'll hope for denver, he'll be sentenced to play in houston, with a 6' 2" center. he'll be having wet dreams over the shaq days,.
 
2011-12-17 12:09:30 AM  
yes, Houston sucks. I know because I live there
 
2011-12-17 12:13:26 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: By the time the lawyers are done with him, Kobe's gonna be feeling like a 19-year-old hotel employee from Colorado.


Where did I just see this?

You know you stole that. Where was it?
 
2011-12-17 12:16:45 AM  
She is kinda hot, and now she's super rich... tell her to call me!
 
2011-12-17 12:22:01 AM  

downpaymentblues: FirstNationalBastard: By the time the lawyers are done with him, Kobe's gonna be feeling like a 19-year-old hotel employee from Colorado.

Where did I just see this?

You know you stole that. Where was it?


Because nobody else will ever make that joke ever again.
 
2011-12-17 12:25:42 AM  
Breaking news: David Stern just blocked the divorce.

/what? They weren't getting greened anyway.
 
2011-12-17 12:26:20 AM  

velvet_fog: As punishment, Kobe will be sentenced to play in Denver the rest of his career.


Tebow! Tebow! Tebow!
 
2011-12-17 12:26:40 AM  

merkey88: downpaymentblues: FirstNationalBastard: By the time the lawyers are done with him, Kobe's gonna be feeling like a 19-year-old hotel employee from Colorado.

Where did I just see this?

You know you stole that. Where was it?

Because nobody else will ever make that joke ever again.


how can you know this?
 
2011-12-17 12:27:39 AM  
I wondered about her leaving toward the end of his career when he was busted cheating. Why leave at the beginning of his career when she would only get $10 million when she could stick it out for a few years and pull down $100 million. Not a bad investment...
 
2011-12-17 12:28:31 AM  
Good job subby! That space bar acting up again?

/the rapist?
 
2011-12-17 12:34:15 AM  
Merry Christmas kids, Mommy is getting herself a divorce for herself.
 
2011-12-17 12:34:46 AM  
Now I'm not saying she's a good digger...
 
2011-12-17 12:39:10 AM  

utharda: Denver? Ha, he'll hope for denver, he'll be sentenced to play in houston, with a 6' 2" center. he'll be having wet dreams over the shaq days,.


Why would we deserve such a thing? Please don't ruin the Rockets for us.
 
2011-12-17 12:43:37 AM  

InOmnibusCaritas: She is kinda hot, and now she's super rich... tell her to call me!


By all accounts she's a super biatch and you know she'll never re-marry and lose out on that spousal support.

It's funny to see people (women) try to support the idea of her getting half of his money by saying that it's for the kids. So why don't the kids continue living with him since he's the one that makes all the money?

Lesson learned for Kobe: never get married. Especially since even a pre-nup wouldn't save you.
 
2011-12-17 12:45:27 AM  

merkey88: downpaymentblues: FirstNationalBastard: By the time the lawyers are done with him, Kobe's gonna be feeling like a 19-year-old hotel employee from Colorado.

Where did I just see this?

You know you stole that. Where was it?

Because nobody else will ever make that joke ever again.


I'm saying I JUST saw it. I have a feeling it was a redlit headline maybe? Or another site.

I'm not pretending it couldn't be a redo, just seems like seeing it 3 minutes apart was odd. Geez.
 
2011-12-17 12:46:26 AM  
She got tired of Kobe beef? That's the best beef there is!
 
2011-12-17 12:48:42 AM  

InOmnibusCaritas: She is kinda hot, and now she's super rich... tell her to call me!


Don't worry... she'll call you... right after she's done getting off the phone with Dominos...

images.onset.freedom.com


/Piggy piggy.
 
2011-12-17 12:53:21 AM  

downpaymentblues: I'm saying I JUST saw it. I have a feeling it was a redlit headline maybe? Or another site.

I'm not pretending it couldn't be a redo, just seems like seeing it 3 minutes apart was odd. Geez.


Sheesh you're lazy, look down the TF page 15 links from this one
 
2011-12-17 12:54:07 AM  

iamskibibitz: She got tired of Kobe beef Anus Burger? That's the best beef there is!


/FTFY

img.photobucket.com
 
2011-12-17 12:55:53 AM  

martissimo: downpaymentblues: I'm saying I JUST saw it. I have a feeling it was a redlit headline maybe? Or another site.

I'm not pretending it couldn't be a redo, just seems like seeing it 3 minutes apart was odd. Geez.

Sheesh you're lazy, look down the TF page 15 links from this one


I'm going to go sit in the corner and think about what I've done.
 
2011-12-17 12:56:46 AM  

Hillbilly Jim: Merry Christmas kids, Mommy is getting herself a divorce for herself.


We don't know all the circumstances behind this but I don't see how the timing makes her look like a farking biatch.
 
2011-12-17 12:59:55 AM  

downpaymentblues: martissimo: downpaymentblues: I'm saying I JUST saw it. I have a feeling it was a redlit headline maybe? Or another site.

I'm not pretending it couldn't be a redo, just seems like seeing it 3 minutes apart was odd. Geez.

Sheesh you're lazy, look down the TF page 15 links from this one

I'm going to go sit in the corner and think about what I've done.


Yeah, sometimes I just take the joke from redlit headlines I submit and adapt them for the greenlit thread.

/FARK Recycling... because headlines aren't the only thing that need to be green.
 
2011-12-17 01:00:40 AM  
The couple reportedly does not have a prenuptial agreement, which means Vanessa could be entitled to half of Bryant's net worth, estimated at $360 million.


HOLY shiatBALLS!!!


No prenup?????

Kobe, you =

super-trainer.com

imagecache2.allposters.com

www.motifake.com

 
2011-12-17 01:02:33 AM  

I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: The couple reportedly does not have a prenuptial agreement, which means Vanessa could be entitled to half of Bryant's net worth, estimated at $360 million.


HOLY shiatBALLS!!!


No prenup?????

Kobe, you =

[super-trainer.com image 300x282]

[imagecache2.allposters.com image 295x450]

[www.motifake.com image 640x682]


He really would be better off paying child support to a bunch of baby mamas than alimony AND child support to one ex-wife.
 
2011-12-17 01:03:36 AM  

Obtuse_Otter: Hillbilly Jim: Merry Christmas kids, Mommy is getting herself a divorce for herself.

We don't know all the circumstances behind this but I don't see how the timing makes her look like a farking biatch.


I take it you haven't been paying attention... she always has been a farking biatch.

/Loves the feces incident with her maid.

//Hate her or love her... that biatch is gonna be the cha-CHING of Newport Beach.

///Call me, Ms. Porky (makes telephone sign with hand).

////I live right up the road.
 
2011-12-17 01:04:47 AM  
1) Prenup
2) Don't marry people when you're rich.
 
2011-12-17 01:06:13 AM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: 1) Prenup
2) Don't marry people when you're rich.


Well, see, that's a problem... if he had married her when he was young and poor, he would never have insisted on a prenup, either. So he'd still be in the same boat.
 
2011-12-17 01:08:55 AM  

I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: Obtuse_Otter: Hillbilly Jim: Merry Christmas kids, Mommy is getting herself a divorce for herself.

We don't know all the circumstances behind this but I don't see how the timing makes her look like a farking biatch.

I take it you haven't been paying attention... she always has been a farking biatch.

/Loves the feces incident with her maid.

//Hate her or love her... that biatch is gonna be the cha-CHING of Newport Beach.

///Call me, Ms. Porky (makes telephone sign with hand).

////I live right up the road.


oops, I meant to write "I don't see how the timing does not make her look like a farking biatch."

/mah apologies
 
2011-12-17 01:18:44 AM  
Christ, I guess the Devil is finally calling in His debt...
 
2011-12-17 01:23:35 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Yeah, sometimes I just take the joke from redlit headlines I submit and adapt them for the greenlit thread.

/FARK Recycling... because headlines aren't the only thing that need to be green.


Had a feeling that could be the case, it was a damm fine headline too, it had to be this one or that one outta what I saw
 
2011-12-17 01:24:08 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: if he had married her when he was young and poor, he would never have insisted on a prenup, either.


Well no he wouldn't have but you are an idiot if you don't get one.
 
2011-12-17 01:38:01 AM  

Trocadero: Christ, I guess the Devil is finally calling in His debt...


Arrested Development= green
 
2011-12-17 01:38:32 AM  
She'll be a featured performer on "Basketball Wives" within a year.
 
2011-12-17 01:40:33 AM  

bulldg4life: Breaking news: David Stern just blocked the divorce.

/what? They weren't getting greened anyway.


That one was my headline, I thought it was pretty good but the low-hanging fruit that most would go for. Honestly, this one is better.
 
2011-12-17 01:44:45 AM  

Obtuse_Otter: I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: Obtuse_Otter: Hillbilly Jim: Merry Christmas kids, Mommy is getting herself a divorce for herself.

We don't know all the circumstances behind this but I don't see how the timing makes her look like a farking biatch.

I take it you haven't been paying attention... she always has been a farking biatch.

/Loves the feces incident with her maid.

//Hate her or love her... that biatch is gonna be the cha-CHING of Newport Beach.

///Call me, Ms. Porky (makes telephone sign with hand).

////I live right up the road.

oops, I meant to write "I don't see how the timing does not make her look like a farking biatch."

/mah apologies



farm4.staticflickr.com


/Enjoy a month's TF on me, Mr. Otter!
 
2011-12-17 01:46:10 AM  
This one went right over my head, 2+ for subby.
 
2011-12-17 01:48:30 AM  

Allen262: This one went right over my head, 2+ for subby.


Oh man oh man... I SO did not get that headline until you mentioned it.

/Subby, step forward if you'd like a months TF on me...
 
2011-12-17 01:51:36 AM  
Sadly, a pre-nup would offer up about zero help for Kobe. Pre-nuptials, post-nuptials, someone will always get a ton of money if the spouse is rich.
 
2011-12-17 01:55:35 AM  

I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: Allen262: This one went right over my head, 2+ for subby.

Oh man oh man... I SO did not get that headline until you mentioned it.

/Subby, step forward if you'd like a months TF on me...


Same here. I thought subby was bad with grammar.

Now I think subby is a genius!
 
2011-12-17 02:38:04 AM  
It would be the SHOTY if they were having marriage counselling. Still funny though
 
2011-12-17 02:42:18 AM  
"You're the beat of my heart. You're the air I breathe. She's so special to me."

/think of a squeaking mattress and a moaning woman as you read that
//Leykis fans get it
 
2011-12-17 02:44:26 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: He really would be better off paying child support to a bunch of baby mamas than alimony AND child support to one ex-wife.


He would definitely be better off. His kids however, not so much.
 
2011-12-17 02:57:10 AM  

SnakeMan: "You're the beat of my heart. You're the air I breathe. She's so special to me."

/think of a squeaking mattress and a moaning woman as you read that
//Leykis fans get it


Take me out Kobe style, Tom!!!

/Also loved African style.
 
2011-12-17 03:36:29 AM  
Has his divorce from Lamar Odom gone through?
 
2011-12-17 05:24:22 AM  
Great text.

Other than that, why can't you farkers use some pics to make it more funny?

Bunch of lame ass commenters/
 
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