FARK.com: (6821074) 12 rectal exams a day is a job outside of prison, too?

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		12 rectal exams a day is a job outside of prison, too? (sun-sentinel.com)		29
		More: Florida, rectal exam, Medicine study, Nova Southeastern University, female genitalia, breast exams, associate dean, rheumatoid arthritis, Miller School of Medicine

• • •

5669 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Dec 2011 at 9:34 AM | Favorite | share:

more» |

Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends!

shirt it!

Share this link:

URL:

http://fk.cm/go/6821074

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

29 Comments (+0 »)

Lochsteppe

2011-12-16 09:39:50 AM

Proctology is as valid a profession as any other. All those recti aren't going to examine themselves.

fappomatic

2011-12-16 09:42:25 AM

Professor: Sorry folks, we've no more exam gloves.
Patient: You were using gloves?

chewielouie

2011-12-16 09:42:39 AM

"You do any prison time doc?"

monoski

2011-12-16 09:45:10 AM

Doc; Are you confortable
Patient; I would be more comfortable if you did not have both hands on my hips.

Jake Havechek

2011-12-16 09:46:21 AM

Jerry Sandusky?

The_Terminator

2011-12-16 09:46:40 AM

Oh professional pts...

The guy I had for the male GU exam is an image burned into my brain - he seemed *way* to happy to lift up that gown.

And when the ladies in my group examined him, he had this huge ear-to-ear grin on his face... We never actually did any rectals on professional pts, however. They had this weird box with a silicone something or other insert to simulate a prostate inside of it, and it could be switched to simulate normal, enlarged, or cancerous prostates. It was odd for sure - all of us lined up, sticking gloved fingers into this plastic box...

The woman I had for my first pelvic exam was kinda sad - she was in pain during the axillary exam, and I'm pretty sure I felt some lymph nodes. I let my attending know and he confirmed that she did have lymph nodes on the right side. During the pelvic she practically jumped off the table. She was also bleeding, which is a huge red flag for post-menopausal women.

When we were all done, the doctor teaching us let her know she needed to see a GYN immediately to get an endometrial biopsy to rule out cancer, and have someone else evaluate her breasts for cancer as well due to the lymph nodes...

Turd_Ferguson

2011-12-16 09:52:00 AM

Mooooon River

badscooter

2011-12-16 10:03:26 AM

Ignorant McNugget

2011-12-16 10:08:10 AM

This would be less of an affront to my dignity than my current job.

Super Chronic

2011-12-16 10:08:29 AM

I've had that exam. Wasn't that bad, and everything checked out fine. Afterwards, I found myself feeling all swishy and mushy back there for the next few hours. And then it dawned on me what it was: Santorum!

I proudly told my wife and my closest friends, though I stopped short of putting it on my Facebook page.

Jake Havechek

2011-12-16 10:12:16 AM

Fraternities do this on Friday nights.

Shakespeare's Monkey

2011-12-16 10:12:19 AM

Rectum, it damn near killed him!

Marcintosh

2011-12-16 10:27:01 AM

Many surrogate patients are working professionals, students or retired folks looking to make extra money and to help train America's future inept medical hacks ~~professionals~~.

better, more truthier

HailRobonia

2011-12-16 10:27:59 AM

How about being a professional patient for Reiki?

neversubmit

2011-12-16 10:35:05 AM

Marcintosh: Many surrogate patients are working professionals, students or retired folks looking to make extra money and to help train America's future inept medical hacks professionals.

better, more truthier

Yes, damn it so much!

Dirtybird971

2011-12-16 10:37:18 AM

the women who teach the breast and pelvic exam are paid $40 per student and the men who teach the male genital and rectal exam make $30 per student,

Yeah, I'd pay more to do that too! But it does seem like sexual discrimination.

david1963

2011-12-16 10:43:16 AM

"No one wants to have eight pap smears in one night," Echols said. "Most people think it's strange. People look at you like you're a little crazy. But they are helping teach future doctors."

I'm game. They could smear my paps for only $20.

MadMonk

2011-12-16 10:52:31 AM

"So tell me, why would you like to become a professional patient for us?"

"I'm lonely, so very lonely."

ImperialHazman

2011-12-16 10:54:34 AM

The_Terminator: Oh professional pts...

The guy I had for the male GU exam is an image burned into my brain - he seemed *way* to happy to lift up that gown.

And when the ladies in my group examined him, he had this huge ear-to-ear grin on his face... We never actually did any rectals on professional pts, however. They had this weird box with a silicone something or other insert to simulate a prostate inside of it, and it could be switched to simulate normal, enlarged, or cancerous prostates. It was odd for sure - all of us lined up, sticking gloved fingers into this plastic box...

The woman I had for my first pelvic exam was kinda sad - she was in pain during the axillary exam, and I'm pretty sure I felt some lymph nodes. I let my attending know and he confirmed that she did have lymph nodes on the right side. During the pelvic she practically jumped off the table. She was also bleeding, which is a huge red flag for post-menopausal women.

When we were all done, the doctor teaching us let her know she needed to see a GYN immediately to get an endometrial biopsy to rule out cancer, and have someone else evaluate her breasts for cancer as well due to the lymph nodes...

That there is some brilliant medical intuition.

offmymeds

2011-12-16 11:11:03 AM

"It's an intimidating experience," Chavoustie said. "This takes away a lot of the anxiety. A lot of these students have never examined a vagina before in their life and they're nervous. These professional patients have really changed the way we learn."

Soon-to-be doctor or not, all guys are n00bs at some point in their lives.

Ain't No Party Like A Tea Party

2011-12-16 12:59:06 PM

"Michael Mitchell, a hospital secretary from Fort Lauderdale, may get the male exam up to 12 times in one sitting."

My guess is he isn't doing much sitting after that. Amirite?

/Try the veal
//Tip your waitress

Dr. Nick Riviera

2011-12-16 01:26:01 PM

Awkward standardized patient story:

During my first year of medical school, we had three standardized patients for different vignettes, the last of which being to teach us how to take a sexual history. I had this kind of weird guy, way too tan and obviously using Just for Men for his hair. Anyway, I get through it, then a couple weeks later out of the blue I get this Facebook friend request from a name I don't recognize. The guy is on my network and his security settings are lax enough that I can look through his stuff, and there's some weird pics in there, the weirdest being a painting of himself from the back, naked. As I'm looking through the pics, I realize it is my former standardized patient! So obviously I reject the friend request.

During the second year of medical school, you start to learn physical examination with standardized patients, including the male and female exams described in the article. When it comes time to do the male genital and rectal exam, guess who I got again as my standardized patient? Yeah. Super awkward. I don't know if he remembered me, I don't want to know if he remembered me, I just dealt with it as quickly as possible. Fortunately your classmates are with you and all these things are videotaped so not too much weirdness can happen. Still pretty horrible, though.

biglot

2011-12-16 02:05:09 PM

There I was, flat on my back, legs splayed, my feet up in stirrups, the doc and the nurse and their air-compressor-sounding thingie going in for what seemed like an eternity, snatching out tiny little chunks for my prostate biopsy. So, how many of these things do you do a day, I somehow managed to croak. Oh, on a good day, about 12-16, the nurse told.

malaktaus

2011-12-16 02:31:04 PM

More of a hobby, really.

SandMann

2011-12-16 03:45:32 PM

The_Terminator: Oh professional pts...

The guy I had for the male GU exam is an image burned into my brain - he seemed *way* to happy to lift up that gown.

And when the ladies in my group examined him, he had this huge ear-to-ear grin on his face... We never actually did any rectals on professional pts, however. They had this weird box with a silicone something or other insert to simulate a prostate inside of it, and it could be switched to simulate normal, enlarged, or cancerous prostates. It was odd for sure - all of us lined up, sticking gloved fingers into this plastic box...

The woman I had for my first pelvic exam was kinda sad - she was in pain during the axillary exam, and I'm pretty sure I felt some lymph nodes. I let my attending know and he confirmed that she did have lymph nodes on the right side. During the pelvic she practically jumped off the table. She was also bleeding, which is a huge red flag for post-menopausal women.

When we were all done, the doctor teaching us let her know she needed to see a GYN immediately to get an endometrial biopsy to rule out cancer, and have someone else evaluate her breasts for cancer as well due to the lymph nodes...

Wow. A bit more real than expected.

StanTheMan

2011-12-16 05:56:34 PM

Michael Mitchell, a hospital secretary from Fort Lauderdale, may get the male exam up to 12 times in one sitting.

Yeah, I'm thinking he has a smile on his face when he gets examined.

Rodeodoc

2011-12-16 06:01:51 PM

When I had my first exam, I tried to think of something original to say. "Going where no man has gone before" was true, but so yesterday. Finally I decided to sing this song by Canadian funny guys Bowser and Blue. My doc hadn't heard it before and got a laugh. I was probably the only singing rectal exam he ever did:

We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine

Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave

When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows...
He'll get you in the end!

Why be a colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?

When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don't shake hands."

He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages.
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play,
But this is not quite what he meant...
By eighteen holes a day!

Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine!

BumpInTheNight

2011-12-16 07:14:03 PM

Here I was thinking this would be about a frequent flyer.

BizarroHulk

2011-12-16 09:27:54 PM

People get paid to receive rectal exams?

Displayed 29 of 29 comments

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.