Relatively Obscure: Since when was there a colon in G.I. Joe?

The real question is, why is there a G.I. Joe in your colon?

/I have to admit, my inner 8 year old jumped off the couch and did ninja flips around the room when I saw that

It's... craptastic

It's hilarious- the first GI Joe took a swipe at France (LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU IGNORE TERRORISM!) and now there's a snake in the Whitehouse.

Just making sure, but was that really a dubstep version of Seven Nation Army playing in the background? I'ma have a talkin' to with Jack White next time I see him.

croesius: Just making sure, but was that really a dubstep version of Seven Nation Army playing in the background? I'ma have a talkin' to with Jack White next time I see him.

I heard it too, so you're not going crazy.

As for the movie, it just seems like a 2 hour testosterone injection. NTTAWWT.

I'll rent it.

Holy cow! I'm totally going so fastAW fark!

croesius: Just making sure, but was that really a dubstep version of Seven Nation Army playing in the background? I'ma have a talkin' to with Jack White next time I see him.

Thank you; It was driving me crazy trying to figure out what that was.

That's right Billy... I'm back and I want yooooou!

So.....they're attempting to re-boot the whole franchise in the sequel?

I'll admit I watched the first one drunk both time, via rental and then Netflix, but thought it was decent each time. But this looks like a giant piece of garbage.

I miss the days when we had quality, scripted productions, like "Snakes on a Plane".

/Get off my previously foreclosed-on lawn

One of these days, some characters are going to climb a big, icy mountain, and then say something realistic, such as "WHAT THE fark ARE WE DOING UP HERE?"

FunkOut: The first GI Joe movie, all you think is, "Crap, Tommy Solomon and The Ninth Doctor are the villains?"

That's why I avoided it (well, also because it just looked absolutely terrible). Eccleston is an amazing actor that can play villains very well (28 Days Later is an amazing example of this), but that movie was not worth sitting through just to see him. I hope he got payed very, very well for it.

The new one looks like it'll be a great rental. Things blow up, good guys are the underdogs and fight their way through, and more things blow up. Exactly what I expect out of the movie.

Rincewind53: I watched the first one with a bunch of friends in a MST3K kind of way. My god, that movie was just.... so terrible it wasn't even funny. My favorite part is how when the bad guys blow up the ice sheet above their underwater base, the giant blocks of ice sink in the water. I just want to know what went through their head when they were planning that scene out.


There was huge equipment built onto it.

(Thinking things are stupid inevitably makes us stupid. Even when they are.)

Mentat: If Sienna Miller in black leather couldn't get me to watch the first one, I doubt a lack of Sienna Miller in black leather id going to get me out for this one.

You missed out, there was a smokin hot redhead in there as well


Plus JGL was good as usual


But yeah, himbo Channing tatum and that jive talkin token negro sucked

Nice catch, blanco nino, but too bad your ass got saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacked.

Look at all their different colored hats!

jamaica mon farts me nearly dead with laugh,
a watching di people rush di door like harbor shark,
SO COME
fun time deh yah, a time fi di bus ride
sunshine deh yah a time fi di bus ride
sunshine deh yah a time fi di bus ride
fun time deh yah a time fi di bus ride
NOW!

/gi joeeeeeeee

ProfessorTomoe: ProfessorTomoe: Is is legal to shout "PORKCHOP SANDWICHES" in a crowded theater?

Actually, I would pay good money to see someone do this during a screening. I'd finally be able to learn if it is possible for a human to pass popcorn through their nose.

that just made my night.

ProfessorTomoe: ProfessorTomoe: Is is legal to shout "PORKCHOP SANDWICHES" in a crowded theater?

Actually, I would pay good money to see someone do this during a screening. I'd finally be able to learn if it is possible for a human to pass popcorn through their nose.

An usher should run into all screenings of this and yell "Oh shiat, what the fark are you doing? Get the fark out of here, you stupid idiots!" as he escorts all of the people who see this out of the theater before it starts. No refunds.

The blind-folded ninja woman, was that Jinx?

I liked the 80's toys, at least the early ones. Somewhat realistic. Then the TV movie and TV series came around and I though it was a huge dumbing down, combined with a totally unrealistic lack of bloodshed, not to mention no dying at all. The first of these movie seemed to start from that perspective.. I had no interest at all.

This trailer almost seemes a tiny step up, in comparison. Hey, dead people!

God damn it all.

Fair warning: What Subby is not telling you is that the director also "directed" the Justin Beiber: Never Say Never movie. MY HEADLINE, which was redlit, informed you of this, however.

/little bitter

LAST ONE THERE IS A PENIS PUMP!

aniyn: croesius: Just making sure, but was that really a dubstep version of Seven Nation Army playing in the background? I'ma have a talkin' to with Jack White next time I see him.

Thank you; It was driving me crazy trying to figure out what that was.

Heh. I got that right away. My first thought was: "Oh. Seven Nation Army. Gee, how clever."

But still...Dalek Caan's doomed mistress: The new one looks like it'll be a great rental. Things blow up, good guys are the underdogs and fight their way through, and more things blow up. Exactly what I expect out of the movie.

I'd redbox it, dammit.

I've not had the stones to watch the first one yet, despite being its target market. Sure, I played with GI Joes as a kid and, like the idiots we all are at that age, watched the cartoon, but I'm not 12 anymore. Everything I saw and heard about the movie made it seem like a bad Cobra plot where they try and take over the world by releasing a blockbuster so awful that it erodes the public's faith in Hollywood and thus the nation, paving the way for an invasion against a populace whose spirit is utterly broken. However, I can't avoid it forever. I have a bad habit of downloading crappy action movies that I know I'll dislike in advance but still feel compelled to see. Popcorn movies where you need a tub of whiskey to get you through. Someday I'm going to watch that movie, and then feel a little worse about myself and all of us. And then a while after that I'll see the sequel.

I need help. We all need help.

didn't realize there was a first one.. this one looks semi-decent. I'm a sucker with anything that has bruce willis in it. By the way, what's with him always ending up in an el camino?

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I'm also diggin that dubstep version of seven nation army
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