Look, we taught a lion to eat tofu.

"Ted, we have a problem. The Food Division just told me that the "Vegan Cat Food" I'm supposed to be presenting to the shareholders is mostly made of the tongues and eyes of tortured baby cows."
"So it's not Vegan?"
"Oh, no, it has to be. They've already designed the box."

That reminds me of those panera bread commercials with the girl that makes dog treats without crude fat in them, I am thinking isn't crude fat good for a dog's coat?

Are you still a vegan if you only lick fish?

Wow, Ellen really is a farking idiot. I am shocked.

ArkAngel: [lh3.googleusercontent.com image 512x384]

Excellent.

GAT_00: downstairs: I_Am_Weasel: downstairs: FloydA: Yeah, this is dumb. You want to be a vegan? Great! I respect your decision. It can be a good decision for a human. But cats and dogs are predominantly carnivores- they have carnassial teeth, and they lack the complex digestive system needed to break down plant foods effectively.

So much this. One of my cats is addicted to grass (the lawn, not the drug.). Sometimes she'll jet out the door just to go sit and eat my lawn.

However, within an hour she throws it all up.

/She's a strange one.

That's actually the point of eating the grass.

Really? Never knew that.

Although, this one cat will eat literally anything. She camps out on the kitchen counter, and spends all night eating whatever crap we throw in the sink.

/And she likes beer

Yeah, when a dog or cat is eating grass, they want to throw up.

You know how cats get hairballs from grooming themselves, right? They eat the grass in order to throw up those hairballs more easily.

Overall, vegan pet food is one of the most asinine things possible. You cannot make a cat or dog stop wanting to eat meat. All you can do is make them sick and miserable by withholding it.

HEY! DUMBARSES!

A vegan pet is called a PLANT!

Shostie: Vegan cat food...?

Lickalotapuss.

Adolf Oliver Nipples: What did you expect? It's Ellen. You can be sure that she doesn't like meat unless it's roast beef and cheese.

Jesus Christ, that is about the nastiest thing I've read on this site.

+1

She should have to eat her pet when it dies.

You can tell Ellen is whimsical and edgy because she wears pant suits with Converse All Stars to formal events.

Not vagitarian pet food?

Jamdug!: I'm sure it will include fish.

Hhhhhalibut, perhhhhhaps?

Are you sure she didn't say "vagatarian?" I have a dog who eats nothing but pussy.

Really no different than the low quality corn-based dog food you buy already.

Hope you enjoy malnourishing your dog into early onset diabetes as well as hip issues.

meat0918: I wonder if all these people that feed their cats vegan diets have outdoor cats, so the reason they think the diets are working is the cats are supplementing with whatever insect, bird, or rodent they catch?

This. I never saw my cat stalking celery.

Gonad the Ballbarian: HEY! DUMBARSES!

A vegan pet is called a PLANT!

This^

mweland: Are you sure she didn't say "vagatarian?" I have a dog who eats nothing but pussy.

Your wife buys a lot of peanut butter, huh?

Why would you purchase dog or cat food when it's so easy to make it at home? Most of the major brands, like Science Diet, Purina, and Iams use ingredients that are one step above poison. I saw an episode of 60 Minutes where they found 350 µg/dl of lead in the top selling Science Diet dry foods. The lethal dose of lead for an adult human is 25 µg/dl, so doses that high in a much smaller animal are near acute levels of poisoning. Pet foods are largely unregulated and unhealthy.

My Huskies eat only food that I've prepared -- boiled chicken over rice, steak tips, roasted lamb and vegetables -- pure foods. Your average American pet owner really doesn't care about the health of their pet. They care about convenience and would rather buy a fifty pound bag of kibble that goes stale in a few weeks but lasts a few months rather than prepare decent food for their animals. I really wish the pet owner had to survive a week on the caustic food they provide. I imagine things would change pretty quickly.

So, I don't think I'm being too harsh when I say that if you purchase dry or wet food for your pet, you are an animal abuser. Laziness is disgusting in its own right, but when a living creature suffers because of it, I can't forgive.

GAT_00: Yeah, when a dog or cat is eating grass, they want to throw up.

They don't "want to" per se, it's instinctual roughage.

Years ago when I worked in a kennel, there was a dalmatian that would stay there every now and then. He had his own vegan kibble. That was some of the tastiest stuff! I used to steal a handful of it and snack on it during the day. Regular dog food was gross, though.

Are there any Hollywood lesbians that aren't into this vegetarian shiat? I can't fap to this.

Raw food diet is supposed to be the next big fad for pets. I think Ellen is just getting her popular trends mixed up.

dancindan84: This. I never saw my cat stalking celery.

Stalking cerelry ,,, heh,,

Pants on head retarded.

Since the "cats are obligate carnivores, dammit!" angle is well covered...

downstairs: Really? Never knew that.

GAT_00: Yeah, when a dog or cat is eating grass, they want to throw up.

There's actually plenty of debate about that, and most of the evidence shows that's not the case.

DVM-linky (new window).

It's not abnormal, but it's not universal. The important thing, though, if your pet likes to eat grass, is to make sure it's not treated with unsafe chemicals... if you have to fertilize / herbicide / etc your yard, make sure you stick to the dosages and time/watering requirements, etc. And just to be safe, I wouldn't let my dog eat any grass that is unknown - never know what the hell a neighbor puts on their yard or the county uses in a park.

Headso: That reminds me of those panera bread commercials with the girl that makes dog treats without crude fat in them, I am thinking isn't crude fat good for a dog's coat?

Why not? Home made treats are easy, *incredibly* cheap compared to retail boxes, and they last forever if you bake them hard enough (and, I bet, leaving all fat out entirely will make them last even longer). Your dog will get a proper amount of fat from its regular diet if you're feeding him a decent commercial dog food... treats are just a bonus.

Philip J. Fry: Really no different than the low quality corn-based dog food you buy already.

Hope you enjoy malnourishing your dog into early onset diabetes as well as hip issues.

spentmiles: TLDR

Not all bought dog food is bad for you. You just have to do a little research. Just like with your own food.