They ought to have secured the little tyke down with nails or something.

Where were this kids parents when he was taken?

They're not gonna catch them. They're on a mission from God.

Jesus Gnome?

Wanted for questioning

you know that statue
that statue of baby jesus
in the window
in the window of the 99 cent store
last night I saw the owner kiss it
and whisper in its ear
I was walking home from walgreen's
and he did not hear me see him
and on the
very very next morning
all the subway cars were hallelu-leluing
welcome back the baby king, the baby king
all the believers they were smiling
and winking at each other
I could honestly say I was scared for my life

they said, all the non-believers they get to eat dirt
and the believers get to spit on their graves...

you know that statue
that statue of baby jesus
in the window
in the window of the 99 cent store
they've been showing it on the news
it was thirty times its size
with a megaphone and a heart-shaped bruise
it was hovering in the skies
and all the
subway cars were hallelu-lelu-leluing, hallejuah
welcome back the baby king, the baby king
all the believers they were smiling
and winking at each other
I could honestly say I was scared for my life

they said, all the non-believers they get to eat dirt
and the believers get to spit on their graves...
believe!...

you know that statue
that statue of baby jesus
in the window
in the window of the 99 cent store
when I woke up I ran and bought it
and locked it in my closet
with a little bread and water
and a flashlight and a first aid kit til he grows

Police state that they have a promising lead in the case.

BunkoSquad: He usually turns up again after about three days.

+1

Would LOL again

BunkoSquad: He usually turns up again after about three days.

Bwah Hah Hah!
+1

Jesus Heist

"We had an officer respond, take pictures, start the investigation, take a report. We have no idea who might have committed this crime," says Bledsoe.

Start the investigation? WTF?

White people problems.

Came for Dragnet references, leaving disappointed

MFAWG: Came for Dragnet references, leaving disappointed

me too...

BunkoSquad: He usually turns up again after about three days.

Jesus Diaz has banned this user and moved this thread to #blasphemer (see Community Rules)

+1

please refer to the nativity scene in the movie Diner.

There is something missing from a nativity scene in Fredericksburg, Virginia. Not just anything. It's the reason for the season.

Bzzzt! Incorrect!

There is something missing from a nativity scene in Fredericksburg, Virginia. Not just anything. It's the reason for the season

and this is why the the country is failing right now!

StoPPeRmobile: "We had an officer respond, take pictures, start the investigation, take a report. We have no idea who might have committed this crime," says Bledsoe.

Start the investigation? WTF?

[i1137.photobucket.com image 640x421]



Leads? Yeah sure, all just check with the boys down at the crime lab. They've got four more detectives working on the case. They got us working in shifts!

MFAWG: Came for Dragnet references, leaving disappointed

Same here.

Came here to say that I've seen this episode before. . .of both the early '50's and late 60's version. (Jack Webb must have loved the "stolen baby Jesus" plot)

Just wait a few days and a little Hispanic boy will bring it back in a little red wagon, because he only stole it to fulfill a vow: he prayed to Jesus for a little red wagon and told him that if he got one for Christmas he'd give Jesus the first ride in it.

BunkoSquad: He usually turns up again after about three days.


I'm laughing at myself because I just glossed over that and assumed it was true. Like, you had read about many other baby Jesus abductions and the perpetrators normally brought it back in an average of three days.

A few minutes later I had the "Fry" moment.

It's not Christmas yet, why was he out there?