Adam Sandler?

Stubby, what the hell are you doing? This is Fark.com. We do _not_ submit headlines that actually describe what's happening in the article. It's just _not_ done!

/ Stubby, I condemn you to wear the "cone of dunceness" for a period of no less than three hours.
// Feel free to wear it longer, though, it's surprisingly comfy.
/// Er... so I've heard. Not that I'd know or anything.

Ouch it won't reach my mouth
If I could do it myself I'd probably never leave the house
But I can't so here's where you come in
Giving it Diff'rent Strokes just like Arnold Drummond, hummin...

FTFA: Crawford should have gave his lungs a rest...

Your English teacher should have given you an education.

MooseUpNorth: Stubby, what the hell are you doing? This is Fark.com. We do _not_ submit headlines that actually describe what's happening in the article. It's just _not_ done!

/ Stubby, I condemn you to wear the "cone of dunceness" for a period of no less than three hours.
// Feel free to wear it longer, though, it's surprisingly comfy.
/// Er... so I've heard. Not that I'd know or anything.

WTF are you talking about? There is no auto-fellatio and the guy in the photo
doesn't look particularly faaabulous.

I read "crotch" in the Fark headline, so the article was confusing at first.

People just don't appreciate good performance art.

Oh, magic conch... do I reeeeaaally have lots of friends?

Ralph?

Uhhh... that was disappointing. I pictured a super flexible man able to lick his own conch.

"Just a few more minutes..."

Lipspinach: WTF are you talking about? There is no auto-fellatio and the guy in the photo
doesn't look particularly faaabulous.

See, Stubby? That's what I'm talking about. Farkers are used to adjusting for misleading headlines. This poor confused farker has no idea what just happened.

/ ( ;-) )

LordOfThePings: FTFA: Crawford should have gave his lungs a rest...

Your English teacher should have given you an education.

And she wrote "free reign", too.

I came for Lord of the Flies references. I'm disappointed. :(

Kinnear the Conch Blower



obviously that is Greg Kinnear

obviously....

R.A.Danny: ConConHead: I came for Lord of the Flies references. I'm disappointed. :(

You know how I know that you never read the book can't recall a single line of obscure dialogue from a book you read 15 years ago? Second post.

FTFY, and thank you for pointing it out.

Stupid state, stupid newspaper, stupid editor. Hat-trick

Choose?

FTA: Timothy Crawford, of Vero Beach, choose the night of Nov. 30th to blow his horn, reports Will Greenlee in his Off the Beat blog for TCPalm.com in Stuart.

R.A.Danny: Clawhammer: R.A.Danny: ConConHead: R.A.Danny: ConConHead: I came for Lord of the Flies references. I'm disappointed. :(

You know how I know that you never read the book can't recall a single line of obscure dialogue from a book you read 15 years ago? Second post.

FTFY, and thank you for pointing it out.

Just sayin', if you know that you have no recollection, why spout off?

This is a good question.

No answer would have ben fine. "Oops, I didn't see it" would have been fine. "Doh'" would have been fine.

Calling one of the most famous lines from a book almost every high schooler on the planet has read obscure seems kinda dickish.

Particularly after complaining that such a reference had not been made.