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(Telegraph) Strange Angry Fruit God pelts English town with apples   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 41
More: Strange, Towns in England, coventry, English, Met Office, polar regions  
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4766 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Dec 2011 at 10:55 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2011-12-15 08:23:08 AM
"I honestly don't know where the apples could have come from," he said.

I'm not a biologist or anything, but my guess would be "an apple tree".

What goes up, must come down. Unless it's a Russian probe, in which case it gets stuck in orbit.
 
2011-12-15 08:48:50 AM
"We're in an area with a spooky history, where there have been witches for centuries, after all."

I really hate this kind of thinking. "I don't understand it, therefore magic!"

It's the same type of thinking that allows religion to thrive and flourish.
 
2011-12-15 08:56:01 AM
BurnShrike: "We're in an area with a spooky history, where there have been witches for centuries, after all."

I really hate this kind of thinking. "I don't understand it, therefore magic!"

It's the same type of thinking that allows religion to thrive and flourish.


When I was in Campfire Girls many years ago we made witch heads out of dried apples and cornsilk.
 
2011-12-15 09:07:30 AM
AbbeySomeone:
When I was in Campfire Girls many years ago we made witch heads out of dried apples and cornsilk.


Cool story sis.
 
2011-12-15 09:29:22 AM
a5.mzstatic.com
If only there's a hero with the skills to defend this English town. Someone with a sword. Maybe a samurai or maybe a Ninja. Who specializes in fruit. A fruit ninja, if you will.
 
2011-12-15 10:21:30 AM
How do you like them apples

So who in the neighborhood has a trebuchet?
 
2011-12-15 10:56:54 AM
I'm not saying it's aliens.

But it's aliens.
 
2011-12-15 11:00:34 AM
"We're in an area with a spooky history, where there have been witches for centuries, after all."

Yes. You've hit on it exactly. Witches did it. Whatever would your parish do without you, Councillor?
 
2011-12-15 11:05:25 AM
Wanted for questioning.
sfappeal.com
 
2011-12-15 11:06:53 AM
BurnShrike: It's the same type of thinking that allows religion to thrive and flourish.

More like the kind of thing where people find an excuse to hate on people. Religion appears to be yours.
 
2011-12-15 11:07:07 AM
www.moviemobsters.com
It was a run-by fruiting.

I've got nothing.
 
2011-12-15 11:10:13 AM
Kurmudgeon: BurnShrike: It's the same type of thinking that allows religion to thrive and flourish.

More like the kind of thing where people find an excuse to hate on people. Religion appears to be yours.


A bit, but it's more encompassed by anti-scientific thinking. Religion is only a symptom of the greater problem. If you don't understand the reasoning behind something and the first thing you think of is "magic did it!" you might be guilty of being an idiot.
 
2011-12-15 11:25:00 AM
BurnShrike: Kurmudgeon: BurnShrike: It's the same type of thinking that allows religion to thrive and flourish.

More like the kind of thing where people find an excuse to hate on people. Religion appears to be yours.

A bit, but it's more encompassed by anti-scientific thinking. Religion is only a symptom of the greater problem. If you don't understand the reasoning behind something and the first thing you think of is "magic did it!" you might be guilty of being an idiot.


Godditit!
Witches!
Magic!
Miracle!
etc...
 
2011-12-15 11:27:23 AM
BurnShrike: "We're in an area with a spooky history, where there have been witches for centuries, after all."

I really hate this kind of thinking. "I don't understand it, therefore magic!"

It's the same type of thinking that allows religion to thrive and flourish.


I really hate this kind of thinking. "Sarcasm doesn't translate well in text, therefore I think the speaker is an idiot".

It's the same type of thinking that allows jumping to conclusions.
 
2011-12-15 11:37:29 AM
rexee-14.vo.llnwd.net

approves of this thread
 
2011-12-15 11:39:43 AM
But did you see the photo of the reporter? I really like your peaches, gonna shake your tree.
 
2011-12-15 11:40:09 AM
Kurmudgeon: Wanted for questioning.
[sfappeal.com image 320x240]


At least they weren't throwing boulders...



/Hot as Aragorn
 
2011-12-15 11:50:29 AM
ashinmytomatoes: Kurmudgeon: Wanted for questioning.
[sfappeal.com image 320x240]

At least they weren't throwing boulders...



/Hot as Aragorn


Image post fail. Here we go...

i2.listal.com
 
2011-12-15 11:53:49 AM
Chicken Little wanted for questioning....
 
2011-12-15 11:56:17 AM
FTH:" Angry Fruit God..."

So is the God angry, or is the Fruit angry?

Permutations boggle.
 
2011-12-15 12:47:14 PM
When I was a kid, angry gods used to pelt us with all sorts of things--usually when we were driving behind a farm truck loaded with potatoes, corn, apples, beans, peas, gravel, etc. If you're poor in the country, it gives you something to eat with your road kill and poached salmon, venison, etc. (Gravel excepted)

What goes up, must come down within a few cars of the truck it went up from. The cars sometimes help the produce along.

I'm not saying all mysterious rains work on this principle, but it is a common one.

As Bart Simpson would say, "When life gives you lemons, chuck them at cars from the overpass."

Other popular things the gods like to chuck at humans in cars: logs, tires, mufflers, fenders, cyclists and pedestrians

What does this prove? It proves that the gods have a neurotic extrovert sense of humour, leaning towards bad practical jokes, just like the imps and scions of the other powers that be.

This is as you would expect and all is right in the world. Just drive defensively. You may want to keep the windows closed if you have AC, which most people do nowadays.
 
2011-12-15 12:50:55 PM
Okay, I'll put it another way. You had hallucinations, all right? And they were solid. Then one of them got a talk show.
 
2011-12-15 01:22:07 PM
Better apples than some other kinds of reported Fortean falls (fish, rocks, crabs, blood, ground beef, etc.).
 
2011-12-15 01:23:36 PM
LadyBelgara: "We're in an area with a spooky history, where there have been witches for centuries, after all."

Yes. You've hit on it exactly. Witches did it. Whatever would your parish do without you, Councillor?


The people of Coventry still accuse women of practicing witchcraft. Hey, maybe we could have Christine O'Donnell be our ambassador to the UK
 
2011-12-15 01:30:55 PM
ZMugg: FTH:" Angry Fruit God..."

So is the God angry, or is the Fruit angry?

Permutations boggle.


The fruit, otherwise it would have been "Angry God of Fruit". Obviously.
 
2011-12-15 01:31:00 PM
Apples float in water. Just like churches, very small rocks, and lead.

cdn2.hark.com
 
2011-12-15 01:56:55 PM
Well, think about it. If the apples were borne aloft by strong winds, where's the rest of the material that would have surely been taken up with it (leaves, sticks, other objects the same weight and lighter)? Those would have fallen with the apples. It's the same thing with other sky-falls, there are only fish of a certain kind, rocks of a certain size, materials of a certain type. Where's the debris that would have been taken with the fish, mud and plants and especially other creatures?

Many times the animals in sky-falls are still alive and healthy when they fall, even fish. How'd they survive the rapid temperature, pressure and moisture changes if they were swept up by a tornado or other strong weather phenomenon needed to get them airborne? Many sky-falls also occur in good weather with little or no clouds or wind, and they're concentrated in a very small area (two rock falls in Chico, CA occurred several years apart over the same two houses, one sky-fall occurred inside a tent).

Quite a perplexing phenomenon.
 
2011-12-15 02:59:09 PM
Keizer_Ghidorah: Well, think about it. If the apples were borne aloft by strong winds, where's the rest of the material that would have surely been taken up with it (leaves, sticks, other objects the same weight and lighter)? Those would have fallen with the apples. It's the same thing with other sky-falls, there are only fish of a certain kind, rocks of a certain size, materials of a certain type. Where's the debris that would have been taken with the fish, mud and plants and especially other creatures?

Many times the animals in sky-falls are still alive and healthy when they fall, even fish. How'd they survive the rapid temperature, pressure and moisture changes if they were swept up by a tornado or other strong weather phenomenon needed to get them airborne? Many sky-falls also occur in good weather with little or no clouds or wind, and they're concentrated in a very small area (two rock falls in Chico, CA occurred several years apart over the same two houses, one sky-fall occurred inside a tent).

Quite a perplexing phenomenon.

Nearly
got past my sarc-o-meter. Love it. Nice work :-)
 
2011-12-15 04:11:22 PM
uttertosh: ZMugg: FTH:" Angry Fruit God..."

So is the God angry, or is the Fruit angry?

Permutations boggle.

The fruit, otherwise it would have been "Angry God of Fruit". Obviously.


So, does this God of Angry Fruit have dominion over Happy Fruit?

Permutations, man.
 
2011-12-15 04:34:41 PM
Keizer_Ghidorah: Many sky-falls also occur in good weather with little or no clouds or wind, and they're concentrated in a very small area (two rock falls in Chico, CA occurred several years apart over the same two houses, one sky-fall occurred inside a tent).

Quite a perplexing phenomenon.


Back in February 1966 in Long Beach, California, there was a nighttime fall of river stones, about football-sized, over one house a few blocks away from where I lived when I was a kid. At about the same time, there were a number of UFOs overflying the city which tens of thousands of people saw.

According to some people back then, this all might've been poltergeist activity caused by a newly menstruating thirteen year old girl living in the bombarded house.
 
2011-12-15 04:37:42 PM
brantgoose: When I was a kid, angry gods used to pelt us with all sorts of things--usually when we were driving behind a farm truck loaded with potatoes, corn, apples, beans, peas, gravel, etc. If you're poor in the country, it gives you something to eat with your road kill and poached salmon, venison, etc. (Gravel excepted)

we used to get peed on by the sheep and cattle in trucks, always made us kids laugh
 
2011-12-15 05:08:19 PM
ZMugg: uttertosh: ZMugg: FTH:" Angry Fruit God..."

So is the God angry, or is the Fruit angry?

Permutations boggle.

The fruit, otherwise it would have been "Angry God of Fruit". Obviously.

So, does this God of Angry Fruit have dominion over Happy Fruit?

Permutations, man.


No, which there is such a difference from Happy fruit and Angry fruit Different Gods made differing philosophies. And it's the God of On-The-Fence Fruit that we should be worrying about, anyways. He's so indecisive. Worse than Apatheist Agnostics.
 
2011-12-15 05:25:02 PM
uttertosh: ZMugg: uttertosh: ZMugg: FTH:" Angry Fruit God..."

So is the God angry, or is the Fruit angry?

Permutations boggle.

The fruit, otherwise it would have been "Angry God of Fruit". Obviously.

So, does this God of Angry Fruit have dominion over Happy Fruit?

Permutations, man.

No, which there is such a difference from Happy fruit and Angry fruit Different Gods made differing philosophies. And it's the God of On-The-Fence Fruit that we should be worrying about, anyways. He's so indecisive. Worse than Apatheist Agnostics.


i444.photobucket.com

Council of Bishops?
 
2011-12-15 06:50:36 PM
Okay, if this supposed "Fruit God" IS angry, why would he pelt these poor people with apples? Surely, this will just turn them away from the fruit entirely, as the people will associate apples with "that weird, yet traumatic, day in December of '11". Why not just turn them INTO fruit?

No. Clearly, this is something else. Something... evil.

Perhaps, there an orchard once, where the cars and cobblestone now stand. Perhaps, the orchard owner was wronged by the community, or, perceived he had been wronged. So, upon his death, he placed a curse on them and their descendants.

A FRUIT curse.

Now, every 100 years, the skies shall darken, and the hills shall run red with the blood of animals and children: innocent victims of this... The FRUITENING!

Man, now I'm hungry for apples. :-(
 
2011-12-15 07:23:53 PM
iWeather: The curse of Steve Jobs.

/Though why he is picking on an English village beats me
 
2011-12-15 09:15:22 PM
uttertosh: Keizer_Ghidorah: Well, think about it. If the apples were borne aloft by strong winds, where's the rest of the material that would have surely been taken up with it (leaves, sticks, other objects the same weight and lighter)? Those would have fallen with the apples. It's the same thing with other sky-falls, there are only fish of a certain kind, rocks of a certain size, materials of a certain type. Where's the debris that would have been taken with the fish, mud and plants and especially other creatures?

Many times the animals in sky-falls are still alive and healthy when they fall, even fish. How'd they survive the rapid temperature, pressure and moisture changes if they were swept up by a tornado or other strong weather phenomenon needed to get them airborne? Many sky-falls also occur in good weather with little or no clouds or wind, and they're concentrated in a very small area (two rock falls in Chico, CA occurred several years apart over the same two houses, one sky-fall occurred inside a tent).

Quite a perplexing phenomenon.

Nearly got past my sarc-o-meter. Love it. Nice work :-)


I was being serious, there are hundreds of documented sky-fall reports going back centuries.
 
2011-12-15 10:18:02 PM
Keizer_Ghidorah: Where's the debris that would have been taken with the fish, mud and plants and especially other creatures?

science, you fail

ever watched debris fall, how it sort of aggregates into sizes? somewhere there's a pile of leaves on the road but no one is going to pay that pile any attention even though it's the debris from the apples

/yeah, I know, you got me :)
 
2011-12-16 12:38:17 AM
The government should give the village a bunch of money to study this event. I'm sure they could use the windfall.
 
2011-12-16 01:08:43 AM
BurnShrike: A bit, but it's more encompassed by anti-scientific thinking. Religion is only a symptom of the greater problem. If you don't understand the reasoning behind something and the first thing you think of is "magic did it!" you might be guilty of being an idiot.

Well, it's a good thing I didn't say that, and I'm glad I didn't use religion as an all purpose hate excuse or I would have sounded like an idiot then as well.
 
2011-12-16 02:25:24 AM
Keizer_Ghidorah: I was being serious, there are hundreds of documented sky-fall reports going back centuries.

Some scholars think that the manna the Israelites ate while they wandered in the wilderness for forty years fell from the sky too.
 
2011-12-16 03:44:32 AM
Keizer_Ghidorah: uttertosh: Keizer_Ghidorah: Well, think about it. If the apples were borne aloft by strong winds, where's the rest of the material that would have surely been taken up with it (leaves, sticks, other objects the same weight and lighter)? Those would have fallen with the apples. It's the same thing with other sky-falls, there are only fish of a certain kind, rocks of a certain size, materials of a certain type. Where's the debris that would have been taken with the fish, mud and plants and especially other creatures?

Many times the animals in sky-falls are still alive and healthy when they fall, even fish. How'd they survive the rapid temperature, pressure and moisture changes if they were swept up by a tornado or other strong weather phenomenon needed to get them airborne? Many sky-falls also occur in good weather with little or no clouds or wind, and they're concentrated in a very small area (two rock falls in Chico, CA occurred several years apart over the same two houses, one sky-fall occurred inside a tent).

Quite a perplexing phenomenon.

Nearly got past my sarc-o-meter. Love it. Nice work :-)

I was being serious, there are hundreds of documented sky-fall reports going back centuries.


Ok, fine, you're serious. Let's focus on the above emboldened phrase. By pure logical reasoning alone, you seem unable to distinguish the difference between natural phenomena and high school prank, almost like the cropcircle people who bluster on about 'radiation level' this and 'angle of the crushed stem' that, even although a handful of math students admitted the night before that it was a prank.

Waking up inside ones sealed tent to find oneself covered with a layer of small fish, if ones instant conclusion is "Ah! Skyfall in my tent!!" instead of "Golly gosh I've just been pranked by my chums!", one fails at Occams Razor (new window).

Now, back to scientific explanations...
 
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