Serves him right. If the people know it is because the kid is an attention whore. When I was his age the only person who knew my sexual proclivities was Compuserve.

He outed himself. Had he told a counselor, who then told the parents, that would be different. That's not what happened here.

FloydA: namegoeshere: He outed himself. Had he told a counselor, who then told the parents, that would be different. That's not what happened here.


Should gay people be allowed to decide for themselves who they tell, or should that decision be made by school administrators?

They should decide themselves. However, when you have put it on a poster in the school's hallway, you have effectively plastered it on a billboard downtown at rush hour. You are at that point out.

FloydA: namegoeshere:

They should decide themselves. However, when you have put it on a poster in the school's hallway, you have effectively plastered it on a billboard downtown at rush hour. You are at that point out.

I disagree. If the kid had reason to believe that mom and dad would not see the inside of the classroom, then he had reason to believe that he could be out to his classmates and still closeted to his parents.

His orientation was know by every student in that school before the bell rang, I guarantee. Once he made the public statement, not in a situation where confidentiality was expected, he lost any expectation of privacy.

I really don't like it when people are outed against their wishes. It's nobody's place to share that information except the individual him/herself, and s/he gets to decide who to share it with and when.

I agree. But like I said, he went public in a very public forum (there are few venues more public than school). It was irrational to think that it wouldn't get back to his family.

/Offer does not apply to public figures such as elected officials and ministers

Why? Either everyone's sexual orientation is their own to disclose or not disclose, or it's not.

//Especially when they have used their positions of authority to make anti-gay statements or pass anti-gay legislation

Dickish and hypocritical behavior, yes. And I will admit enjoying the schadenfreude when they are outed. Doesn't mean the act of outing them while insisting that others be allowed privacy isn't also a bit hypocritical.

MBK: They did overstep their bounds by telling the parents, but I don't think they did it for malicious reasons.

I don't think they did it for malicious reasons either but they were pretty damn clueless and so farked things up with the best of intentions.

They at least should have asked the kid if he was out to his parents first, because absolutely you can't assume that family are the first people that people (kids or not) tell their private information to. EVEN IF they've already told the whole class.

THe kid outed himself in a public place, therefore it is now public knowledge. The school telling the parents is kind of uncouthe, but they were trying to protect him. In the end, word probably would've reached the parents pretty soon after that anyway.

mitchcumstein1: FloydA: mitchcumstein1: He literally put it on the blackboard, I don't see what the issue is. It actually sounds like the school was trying to look out for the kid.


Have you ever told a friend something that you wouldn't want to tell your mother?

Not in front of 30 other people I haven't.

yeah, well, at least not since we allowed on parents on facebook.

Finally, steps are being taken to protect our kids.

IMO, as the kid is a minor, the school should be reporting anything of interest to the parents that he does or happens to him at school. He is still their responsibility, regardless, for 4 more years.

FTFA: the teen, was hung

What?

FTFA: The project, with permission from the teen, was hung on the wall with others.

Oh.

Yeah Mormons!

/sarcasm off

mitchcumstein1: He literally put it on the blackboard, I don't see what the issue is. It actually sounds like the school was trying to look out for the kid.

I agree. However, if I were the school's admin, I think I'd have a talk with the student and make him aware that I wanted to meet with his parents. Not blind-side him. He may not have a legal obligation but, damn! Think about how that must've made the kid feel. Talk about emotional stress.

As the dad of a 13yr old, I'd want my son's school to give him that measure of consideration and respect. He's not in kindergarten anymore.

MBK: So...he was out in school already, but not in home? I've never heard of this.

Uhh...really? Really?

Question: Should administrators lie to parents?
Set-up: Admin calls parents, informs them of situation, that kid is being bullied, remains vague.
Parent asks for specifics.
What is admin to do?

fatimcgee: MBK: So...he was out in school already, but not in home? I've never heard of this.

Uhh...really? Really?

no not really. christ on a cracker rtfa. it took me 30 seconds. some ass hat created a fb page that made up a lot of bs including that school outed him. the school did not.

What's none of the school's business: Your child's sexual proclivities.

What's your school's business: You announcing anything in front of a class of students that has potential to cause disciplinary problem or safety issues.

You can argue all you want, until you're blue in the face, that announcing you are gay SHOULD NOT have ramifications, but I don't think you're going to convince very many people. The announcement itself was something that put that kid at risk, and forced some action to be taken. He should have thought his actions through a little more carefully.

FloydA: mitchcumstein1: FloydA:
Fair point. And the article doesn't mention how the parents responded or how the kid feels about the school's actions, so we have no idea whether any of the relevant parties is upset.

Well, someone called the press. Who in this scenario do you think it was?
Please explain your answer in the form of a Venn Diagram.

Meh. He outed himself at school, and therefore has no reasonable expectation of privacy. With that said, the administration could have asked him if he's out to his parents and encouraged him to out himself to them when he answered.

MBK: I'm...kinda confused.

It's OK, schools today have programs where they will tell your parents about your sexuality.

I'm confused, there's nothing in the article that says the parents were actually not aware the son was gay prior to this meeting. Just that they got all mad about a public facebook page claiming it happened that way.

MBK:

They did overstep their bounds by telling the parents, but I don't think they did it for malicious reasons. The kid isn't in trouble (as the article states, a rumor had started that he was) and should be at happy that the school is actually doing something to combat bullying instead of sweeping it under the rug or suspending the kid for stupid reasons.

No they didn't. This is a school and a minor. This is not a doctor's office or psychiatrist's office where there are protections for the doctor/patient relationship (which is still limited if the patient in question is a minor). This is an institution you've entrusted with the care of your minor child that has no business keeping secrets from a legal guardian unless they suspect that legal guardian of a crime like child abuse. I would expect my child's school, after-school program leader, or child care provider to tell me about any issues they come across whether it's potential bullying, poor classroom performance, or finding odd bruises on him. I am the parent, I am legally and morally responsible for him until he's 18, and more importantly, I love him.

My son's right to privacy ends when he's in danger.

TrixieDelite: FloydA: mitchcumstein1: FloydA:
Fair point. And the article doesn't mention how the parents responded or how the kid feels about the school's actions, so we have no idea whether any of the relevant parties is upset.

Well, someone called the press. Who in this scenario do you think it was?
Please explain your answer in the form of a Venn Diagram.

Actually, having just read the article, my money is on a homophobic parent or student trying to smear the kid. The school seems genuinely concerned about potential backlash from his openness, the parents seem concerned about his safety, and other kids at the school are being dicks. Of that group, I'd pick the kids at school as the ones most likely to want this story to be loud and public.

Why was there not more details about the knob who put up the facebook page? What's the motivation? Is it hateful? Is it supportive? The page supposedly says he got kicked out unfairly but he didn't. And why don't they contact facebook to get the page taken down? This just doesn't make any sense.

Isn't 14 a bit young to know whether you're one way or the other or all ways?

I'm bi, but pretty much officially closeted. Oddly enough, Fark is the safest place in the world for me to bring it up, because only my best friend can tie my fark login with my real world identity, and I know him well enough to know that it's not going to change anything.

I'd surely like to be more open about it. Keeping secrets isn't really me.

That said, being fully open would be far, far more complicated. Three of my next closest friends, and a significant chunk of my extended family, are fundamentalist Christians who've been highly preachy of late. Being open would also seriously and adversely complicate my career. I don't like making big moves when I can't predict the result.

And so, I pretty much can't tell my mother, even though I have at least two fully gay cousins in her part of the family. No, she won't mind, but she's the town gossip, and so letting her know means _everybody_ knows.

This is a tough one.

On the one hand, you have to balance the legal fact that a school really has no right to withhold information from the parents about their child (in the States, a parent can demand to see any and all documentation about the minors under their care, which prompted a trusted mentor to warn me to not write anything down that a parent could demand, unless I was absolutely okay with them eventually seeing it. Not sure about Canada, but I suspect the courts would come out the same way if it came up.)

On the other hand, yes, morally, (ignoring the legal complications of gaining consent from a minor for the moment) an adult absolutely should have the right to decide what he/she reveals, and how it's revealed.

Seems to me the school was in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. If the kid was only two years older, the school could have asked the kid to simply require, in a written statement, the school not to reveal that. (In most states and provinces, 16 year olds have the right to seal some, or all, of their school records from their parents.)

To echo some other sentiments - is there any evidence the parents WEREN'T already aware of their son's orientation? Having read the article three times it seems the controversy is over a factually incorrect facebook page relating to the incident.

Granted, the school probably shouldn't be outing any student. That said I see no evidence that this is what actually happened.

PartTimeBuddha: Isn't 14 a bit young to know whether you're one way or the other or all ways?

Not at all. That's probably right around the time you'd pretty much figure it out for sure.

Or are you one of those "it's a choice" types?

FloydA: namegoeshere: He outed himself. Had he told a counselor, who then told the parents, that would be different. That's not what happened here.


Should gay people be allowed to decide for themselves who they tell, or should that decision be made by school administrators?

From what I've read, schools been pushing parents to get more involved with their children's studying. I think it's a reasonable expectation that the schools inform the parents of what's going on at school.