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(Fox News) Scary Al-Queda seems to have an image problem, so it pulls a Blackwater and renames itself Ansar al Sharia so it can have a fresh scary slate   (foxnews.com) divider line 49
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1434 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Dec 2011 at 1:18 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
SoCalSurfer
2011-12-14 12:31:22 PM
Well no shiat. No one wants to hang out with a hairy smelly guy who goes down on his knees 5 times a day
 
WTF Indeed
2011-12-14 12:37:30 PM
The packaging may be different, but I bet they still blow up the same when hit with a drone-fired missile.
 
Barfmaker [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 12:58:31 PM
the name (al Qaeda) seems to have negative connotations and baggage

I can see why they gave him the job.
 
kbronsito [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 01:02:20 PM
Al Queda Corporation (NYSE Amex: ALQD), today announced that it will change its name to "Ansar al Sharia," which means Army of Islamic Law. The company is also scheduled to begin trading under a new ticker symbol (ANAS) on the NYSE Amex exchange at market open.

"Our new corporate identity signifies the a transformation into a more dynamic terror-driven organization providing cutting edge, fundamentalist client-centered solutions that benefit from the synergies of a diverse group of extremist groups. As Ansar al Sharia we will continue our role as a world leading provider of suicide bomber and develop the next-generation jihadists as well as pursue outside the box terrorist tactics."

Ansar Al Sharia strategy is to deliver superior growth and shareholder return by bringing to market novel terror plots and advancing the company's pipeline through selective acquisitions, global partnering and commercialization efforts.
 
make me some tea [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 01:06:19 PM
New name, same ugly hairy dudes with kalashnikovs strapped over their backs.

a57.foxnews.com
 
Diogenes [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 01:08:38 PM
Well, they put Sharia in the name. That's sure to play well with the knucklehead demographic in this country.
 
Eddie Adams from Torrance [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 01:19:32 PM
I'm reserving judgement until I see their new logo.
 
sprawl15
2011-12-14 01:25:57 PM
It's better than their first idea, Xe.
 
HotIgneous Intruder
2011-12-14 01:27:05 PM
Seal Team 6 still knows where they live.

Also, Comcast did the same thing., re-aliased themselves to Xfinity.

/It's not working.
/They still suck.
 
Diogenes [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 01:28:28 PM
Rebranding. Just another thing AT&T has in common with terrorists.
 
mavexe
2011-12-14 01:34:24 PM
HotIgneous Intruder: Seal Team 6 still knows where they live.

Also, Comcast did the same thing., re-aliased themselves to Xfinity.

/It's not working.
/They still suck.

The best part, they advertised both Xfinity and Comcast at my local best buy side by side to differentiate the two, and of course the Xfinity portion seemed to severely outshine the Comcast advert.
 
thecactusman17
2011-12-14 01:48:35 PM
kbronsito: Al Queda Corporation (NYSE Amex: ALQD), today announced that it will change its name to "Ansar al Sharia," which means Army of Islamic Law. The company is also scheduled to begin trading under a new ticker symbol (ANAS) on the NYSE Amex exchange at market open.

"Our new corporate identity signifies the a transformation into a more dynamic terror-driven organization providing cutting edge, fundamentalist client-centered solutions that benefit from the synergies of a diverse group of extremist groups. As Ansar al Sharia we will continue our role as a world leading provider of suicide bomber and develop the next-generation jihadists as well as pursue outside the box terrorist tactics."

Ansar Al Sharia strategy is to deliver superior growth and shareholder return by bringing to market novel terror plots and advancing the company's pipeline through selective acquisitions, global partnering and commercialization efforts.

I wish voting were enabled so I could show my love for this easier, but for now a "great job!" will have to do.
 
WelldeadLink [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 01:51:33 PM
thecactusman17: kbronsito: Al Queda Corporation (NYSE Amex: ALQD), today announced that it will change its name to ...

I wish voting were enabled so I could show my love for this easier, but for now a "great job!" will have to do.

I just discovered what that star icon does.
 
Craptastic
2011-12-14 01:57:14 PM
Oh, that's just greaaaat. Now the RW lunatics can derp even harder about the word "sharia" when they're painting all muslims as evil terrorists.

"Sharia Law!!!"
"Ansar al Sharia!!!"
 
Makh [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 01:57:50 PM
But really they just want you to call them Al.
 
GleeUnit [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 02:00:40 PM
I think I'm going to bet on "Fox invented this 'rebranding' as a way to hit Real AmericansTM over the head with the indisputable fact that Muslims want Sharia law everywhere so that they can raise your taxes and gay marry your children"


No doubt it will be wildly effective.
 
otherginger
2011-12-14 02:09:09 PM
I hear "Cassius Clay" is still available.
 
tomcatadam
2011-12-14 02:15:34 PM
Political movement? Really?
Their entire movement is blow it up if it disagrees with me in any way.
 
sprawl15
2011-12-14 02:16:56 PM
tomcatadam: Political movement? Really?
Their entire movement is blow it up if it disagrees with me in any way.

Are we talking about Al Qaeda or the GOP?
 
A Dark Evil Omen
2011-12-14 02:17:22 PM
tomcatadam: Political movement? Really?
Their entire movement is blow it up if it disagrees with me in any way.

Be fair, that's basically the Republican platform, too.
 
King Something
2011-12-14 02:21:17 PM
A Dark Evil Omen: tomcatadam: Political movement? Really?
Their entire movement is blow it up if it disagrees with me in any way.

Be fair, that's basically the Republican platform, too.

The only real difference is the name they give to their imaginary friend, and even that difference is wholly linguistic. If they spoke German instead of English or Arabic, you know what they'd call the invisible sky fairy whose will they claim to do?
www.warrelics.eu
"Gott."
 
tomcatadam
2011-12-14 02:21:49 PM
sprawl15: Are we talking about Al Qaeda or the GOP?

A Dark Evil Omen: Be fair, that's basically the Republican platform, too.

Nah, that only happens when they can't brand something as liberal/socialist/hippy/European.
 
BroVinny
2011-12-14 02:22:27 PM
Makh: But really they just want you to call them Al.

1.bp.blogspot.com

Approves.
 
someonelse
2011-12-14 02:24:43 PM
Queda?
 
BroVinny
2011-12-14 02:25:24 PM
King Something: A Dark Evil Omen: tomcatadam: Political movement? Really?
Their entire movement is blow it up if it disagrees with me in any way.

Be fair, that's basically the Republican platform, too.

The only real difference is the name they give to their imaginary friend, and even that difference is wholly linguistic. If they spoke German instead of English or Arabic, you know what they'd call the invisible sky fairy whose will they claim to do?
[www.warrelics.eu image 640x480]
"Gott."

No, no, you got it all wrong. The Germans were concerned that their soldiers keep their hands warm on the Russian front, so they started the "Gott Mituns" campaign to remind them to wear their gloves.
 
miss diminutive
2011-12-14 02:33:46 PM
Same shiat, different name.
 
itazurakko
2011-12-14 02:40:43 PM
They're gonna drive little go-carts in circles and wear fezzes now?
 
Surool
2011-12-14 02:41:48 PM
They should consult a marketing team and have a nice logo designed for them for the relaunch.
 
BeesNuts
2011-12-14 02:59:30 PM
Craptastic: Oh, that's just greaaaat. Now the RW lunatics can derp even harder about the word "sharia" when they're painting all muslims as evil terrorists.

"Sharia Law!!!"
"Ansar al Sharia!!!"

Probably the exact intention of Al Qaeda with this rebranding. They don't even have to blow shiat up anymore. Just troll the American right wing into wholesale hating and fearing all things Islam and voila, a brand new recruiting pool is born.

What with hate begetting hate and all that fun stuff.
 
dudemanbro [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 03:01:09 PM
Surool: They should consult a marketing team and have a nice logo designed for them for the relaunch.

Maybe that's what this guy was on the phone about...
img809.imageshack.us
 
Jobbers
2011-12-14 03:05:36 PM
Mubarak is gone, Gaddafi is dead, Bin Laden is dead, al-Awlaki is dead, we're getting out of Iraq, and now Al Qaeda is a thing of the past... will you liberals finally admit that waterboarding was a good thing?
 
dudemanbro [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 03:08:08 PM
Jobbers: Mubarak is gone, Gaddafi is dead, Bin Laden is dead, al-Awlaki is dead, we're getting out of Iraq, and now Al Qaeda is a thing of the past... will you liberals finally admit that waterboarding was a good thing?

lol
 
coeyagi
2011-12-14 03:18:18 PM
Jobbers: Mubarak is gone, Gaddafi is dead, Bin Laden is dead, al-Awlaki is dead, we're getting out of Iraq, and now Al Qaeda is a thing of the past... will you liberals finally admit that waterboarding was a good thing?

LowELL approved.
 
coeyagi
2011-12-14 03:19:39 PM
In related news, Breitbart renames himself "Reince Preibus Fartbox Licker" to improve his image.
 
coeyagi
2011-12-14 03:23:50 PM
Craptastic: Oh, that's just greaaaat. Now the RW lunatics can derp even harder about the word "sharia" when they're painting all muslims as evil terrorists.

"Sharia Law!!!"
"Ansar al Sharia!!!"

Meh, Sharia means "law", kinda repetitive to me, but hey, whatever gets the GOP hard. I'll go back to reading "Pleonastic Redundant Terms" by Richard Johnson now.
 
RoyBatty
2011-12-14 03:24:43 PM
Give it 20 years and we'll have FARKers and undergrads explaining to us that Ansar al Sharia is a legitimate political party.
 
fatimcgee
2011-12-14 03:24:57 PM
Craptastic: Now the RW lunatics can derp even harder about the word "sharia" when they're painting all muslims as evil terrorists.

My very first thought.

\Fark me...
 
coeyagi
2011-12-14 03:27:09 PM
RoyBatty: Give it 20 years and we'll have FARKers and undergrads explaining to us that Ansar al Sharia is a legitimate political party.

Hey, Fox News still has us believing the GOP is, so anything is possible.
 
Nabb1 [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 03:35:18 PM
"New name! New management! Same zealous obsession with dragging civilization back into the dark ages!"
 
coeyagi
2011-12-14 03:46:06 PM
Nabb1: "New name! New management! Same zealous obsession with dragging civilization back into the dark ages!"

Kind of like when big productions have two studios backing it like Dreamworks and Paramount, you got Al Qaeda and the GOP producing "Rape is just a word / A Reason to Punish YOU", "Make Me a Sammich / Falafel" and "Rights Are For Pussies / Shi'ites" in their Fall 2012 line-up.
 
LincolnLogolas
2011-12-14 04:13:34 PM
To commemorate the renaming of Al Qaeda to Ansar Al Sharia, its representatives have also designed and released a new organization logo, complete with the organization's new slogan.

i601.photobucket.com
 
Geotpf
2011-12-14 04:56:12 PM
Jobbers: Mubarak is gone, Gaddafi is dead, Bin Laden is dead, al-Awlaki is dead, we're getting out of Iraq, and now Al Qaeda is a thing of the past... will you liberals finally admit that waterboarding was a good thing?

maximumtrolling.jpg (it's not even worth searching for the image)
 
NobleHam
2011-12-14 06:48:48 PM
Good for Al-Queda. What about Al-Qaeda though?
 
Surool
2011-12-14 07:23:33 PM
LincolnLogolas: To commemorate the renaming of Al Qaeda to Ansar Al Sharia, its representatives have also designed and released a new organization logo, complete with the organization's new slogan.

[i601.photobucket.com image 350x350]

You win
 
Elitist Jerk
2011-12-14 07:41:32 PM
Al Queefa?
/hot like a muffin
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2011-12-14 08:58:20 PM
sprawl15: tomcatadam: Political movement? Really?
Their entire movement is blow it up if it disagrees with me in any way.

Are we talking about Al Qaeda or the GOP?

Yes.
 
Dwedit
2011-12-14 09:30:13 PM
 
davynelson
2011-12-15 12:18:06 AM
they sound like the Puff Daddy of terrorist organizations.


sorry, but you only get one chance to choose a name.
we're not playing your game.
 
quatchi
2011-12-15 05:39:16 AM
ftfa: "After (Usama) bin Laden's death and the Arab Spring, the name (al Qaeda) seems to have negative connotations and baggage,"

After OBL's death is when it turned negative?

[o'rly.jpg]
 
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