Vogel and colleagues studied urine samples from Bornean orangutans laboriously collected over a period of five years....


See? This is what you need on a resume to get an employer's attention.

"As soon as they wake up, they typically void - they urinate," Vogel said.

Decisive proof that we evolved from a common ancestor.

Well, that and that if either of us were in a tree and a guy stood below us, we'd let loose a stream of piss on his head.

Is it my monkey balls or giant red ass?

moar likely to stand naked in front of the mirror and behave as a simian if you catch my meaning = (

Collecting ape piss, it's not just a job, it's an adventure.

On the case

Stupid orange hair...

I wonder if any presidents have ever made faces that look like monkeys

Jesus Christ that war was over 60 years get over it.

I'm calling bullshiat. People are fat because homo sapiens was not evolved to have abundant food, and they have no farking discipline.

In fact, the rapid evolution in Africa that made us human was largely due to a lack of food, and only the smartest and fastest survived and passed on their genes. Supposedly, mankind was down to a few hundred individuals ~80,000 years ago, who were the elite hunter-gatherers. Quite an irony when you look at fat, dim witted people today.

I always felt I looked more like a hairy pear with legs.

Stupid ginger apes and their peeing on people :(

Because you're an orangutan?

Slaves2Darkness: Jesus Christ that war was over 60 years get over it.

gmpilot: Stupid ginger apes and their peeing on people :(

Those weren't apes. They were just gingers.

Slaves2Darkness: Jesus Christ that war was over 60 years get over it.

FIGHT LIKE APES!

Hey, I resemble that remark!

BurnShrike: Well, that and that if either of us were in a tree and a guy stood below us, we'd let loose a stream of piss on his head.

This behavior has never been documented before? Really? I thought bears gorge themselves on berries before hiberna....

looks out window, sees this:



Nope, I guess bears just sit around like a bunch of lazy hippies...

/no wonder they're the symbol for commies

In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.

Slaves2Darkness: Jesus Christ that war was over 60 years get over it.

DAMN YOU. YOU BLEW IT ALL TO HELL.

Speaking of standing naked in front of a mirror and admiring your primate hairiness, today is Vanessa Hudgins' birthday!

Thoroughly With Foil: This behavior has never been documented before? Really? I thought bears gorge themselves on berries before hiberna....

looks out window, sees this:

[media.tumblr.com image 500x406]

Nope, I guess bears just sit around like a bunch of lazy hippies...



Orangutans are primates. Humans are not closely related to bears.

StanTheMan: "I'm calling bullshiat. People are fat because homo sapiens was not evolved to have abundant food"

yeah... that's exactly what the article said.
In the past, times of abundance were temporary and it made great sense to gorge and store, to make up for leaner times.

I feel like an orangutan in a mirror for completely different reasons.

StanTheMan

I'm calling bullshiat. People are fat because homo sapiens was not evolved to have abundant food, and they have no farking discipline.

In fact, the rapid evolution in Africa that made us human was largely due to a lack of food, and only the smartest and fastest survived and passed on their genes. Supposedly, mankind was down to a few hundred individuals ~80,000 years ago, who were the elite hunter-gatherers. Quite an irony when you look at fat, dim witted people today.

Wow. I am completely impressed with your entire presentation of the facts compressed into one paragraph. How mankind actually made it to this day and age without your assistance is beyond belief. In fact, it is impossible. So I must assume you are a God and I must will be the first one to welcome you as our new overlord and start building temples to you.



//// Christ, your ego must have its own zipcode

Ook.

ringersol: Stupid orange hair...

This.

Dirty farking gingers.

In lush times the summer, orangutans on Canadians in the island province of Borneo Quebec gorge themselves on forest fruits poutine, doughnuts and chicken fat, packing on extra pounds in preparation for leaner years winter, when they live off leaves and bark and their own stored fat.

/don't think I missed anything

Great, I am a big fat stupid ape.

I wonder if Aussie PM Julia Gillard stands in front of a mirror & says, "I am ranga, hear me roar!"

Slaves2Darkness: Jesus Christ that war was over 60 years get over it.

For some of us, the survivors, the orangutan piss wars will never be over. I've seen things man. Urine so rich in ketones you non-primate biology grad students just wouldn't believe. Nitrogen isotopes falling from the sky like a solid sheet of rain. It was almost beautiful before you saw it consume an entire research expedition.

Don't tell me that war is over. I relive it every night.

Nope I am 6 foot 2 and wieght of 185 very little to no fat here.

I'm an orangutan, so I'm getting a kick out these replies...

And it sounds like all we need a really good famine every now and then to fight the obesity epidemic. Just up and burn all our food supplies and spend the next few years rebuilding and fighting for scraps amongst the ruins. People will be hunted for sport, canned foods will form the basis of our currency, the thunder-dome will be used to settle all disputes. Life will be nasty, brutish, and short.

That or diet and moderation. But I'm not sure we could get people to go for that one.

Coffee Snob: Is it my monkey balls or giant red ass?

Neither. It's the shiat you fling all over the mirror. Cut that out.

trappedspirit Edit/Remove Favorite UserAdd Favorite User Quote 2011-12-14 11:41:59 AM Edit/unIgnore User Ignore User
I wonder if any presidents have ever made faces that look like monkeys

Yes, two.

Fat, dim witted folks will have the upper hand when world wide food shortages occur in the not so distant future. They'll know only that they are hungry, and they'll have the reserves to outlast the fittest in a literal world war of attrition. The majority of us who are fit will concern ourselves with protecting borders, protecting remaining useable fields and crops, and working on a system of rationing. The Fatty overlords will wait, and then they will seize our gains when the time is ripe. They will consume us one and all, with no remorse, and they will not fall ill by virus or food borne pathogen as their systems are already immune. The last of us will wonder, "how can this be?", as a lone KFC bucket rolls and tumbles past their prone form and the slumber of dread hunger overtakes them.

FTA: "Knott's team would be waiting underneath the tree canopy to collect these samples, either with plastic sheeting or an inverted umbrella held over their heads, which worked as both a collection device and some protection from the shower of urine."

Yay science!

/happy with liberal arts degree
//you do it and I'll write about it

Nick Nostril: Coffee Snob: Is it my monkey balls or giant red ass?

Neither. It's the shiat you fling all over the mirror. Cut that out.

You can have my poop when you can tear it from my cold, dead, stinky hands.

I would be extremely disappointed if I collected orangutan piss all those years and they never once broke out into a jazz number with one of them doing a pretty impressive scat while jump roping with his own arms.

/Disney lies to me yet again

I wonder if any obese people were put into concentration camps in WWII, and if so, how did they fare?

But at least the comparison with orangutans explains 95 percent of the male human beings I see in the locker room of the local gym. BARF!!