FARK.com: (6813637) Guys overestimate women's desire for them. This study brought to you by The Doy Institute for Advanced No Shiat Studies

		Guys overestimate women's desire for them. This study brought to you by The Doy Institute for Advanced No Shiat Studies (labspaces.net)		77
		More: Obvious, Association for Psychological Science, individual differences, sexual interest, reproductive success, Human sexual behavior

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CitizenTed

2011-12-14 12:57:33 AM

Um...that's the "Doey Institute". Doey: the original precursor to Derp.

ArkAngel

2011-12-14 01:23:53 AM

I'm glad Professor Sherlock is back publishing again

MayoSlather

2011-12-14 01:29:49 AM

I find women underestimate their obvious attraction for me.

pseudowho

2011-12-14 01:30:04 AM

Funny. I always have done the exact opposite.

Meatzilla

2011-12-14 02:20:09 AM

CitizenTed: Um...that's the "Doey Institute". Doey: the original precursor to Derp.

Doey origin

Doy origin

...precedes 'Duh'.

obamiconme.pastemagazine.com

Anyway, seems like Submittard has been pushing his blog (and the Doy Institute tag) around here for a few years (new window).

miss diminutive

2011-12-14 03:12:42 AM

That's just because women have evolved to be very efficient and shameless flirts.

JRoo

2011-12-14 05:14:43 AM

I can't help it if every girl wants me or is a lesbian.

Ishkur

2011-12-14 06:04:31 AM

It's called playing the numbers, like cold calls in telemarketing. If it takes 100 rejections to get one sale, it's still worth it. Therefore, aggressive men who overestimate their "game" and the woman's attraction to them take more risks, make more mistakes, receive more rejections..... but also get more tail.

It reminds me of an old friend I used to have from my clubbing days. This guy had a completely clear conscience. All slings and arrows of vicious insults and attacks on his manhood simply bounced off him like water off a duck. He wasn't fazed by anything. When we'd go to a club or a bar, he would proceed to systematically ask each and every girl there if they would like to go home with him that night, in a sorta semi-polite way. And I'll be damned if the guy didn't get slapped more times than a two dollar whore.

But I'll also be damned if he didn't succeed in his quest. Without fail. Every time. Because while 99 out of 100 girls said no, there was always that one girl who said yes, and he only needed one. This guy hooked up more easily and readily than anyone else I knew. Everywhere we'd go, he'd find a one-night stand by last call. He took a ton of abuse to get there, but he always did it.

I don't know what that guy's doing today. I haven't spoken to him in several years, but given his penchance for balls-out brashness and his unflappable persistence in the face of overwhelming adversity, I'm fairly certain he's got a cozy job in sales right now. And he's probably a walking STD farm.

Now, why don't the rest of us do what he does? If you really wanna hook up at the bar, brute force/trial-and-error seems to be the best way to accomplish that goal, however messy it may be. But we're better than him, aren't we? We have abstract conceptualizations in place of our will to get some nookie. Stupid, meaningless things that don't actually exist in the real world, like "class" and "dignity". But which would you rather have tonight? Your conscience, or a warm body to sleep with?

miss diminutive

2011-12-14 06:19:41 AM

Ishkur: Now, why don't the rest of us do what he does? If you really wanna hook up at the bar, brute force/trial-and-error seems to be the best way to accomplish that goal, however messy it may be. But we're better than him, aren't we? We have abstract conceptualizations in place of our will to get some nookie. Stupid, meaningless things that don't actually exist in the real world, like "class" and "dignity". But which would you rather have tonight? Your conscience, or a warm body to sleep with?

But don't most men have some standards, regardless of how low they are? Sure your buddy went home with a girl almost every night....but if he had to hit on every girl at the bar it might mean that the only one who agreed to go home with him was the syphilitic land whale who hasn't bathed in a week. Given the option of sleeping alone or playing russian roulette with his penis, why always take the latter?

Skr

2011-12-14 06:26:18 AM

Depending on current mindset I'd say I swing either way, though I'd primarily fall into the "Oblivious" category. On a confident day, a simple smile is enough to feel the other person has some interest. On particularly bad days, the mind can play tricks and see sneers and negative nuances that don't really exist.

I've heard many times the equivalent of, "To assuredly hit a target, it is better to throw a handful of gravel than to throw a solitary stone." To pull that off in a relationship sense, I find that you really need to feel like you bring something to the table- that something you are (or have) is worth something to the other party. If you are confident in at least one aspect of yourself, someone will eventually buy into it.

As an aside I've found that some people just plain like to flirt and have no intentions of taking the flirting further. I used to flirt like that, then I took an arrow to the knee.

_{/sometimes an Amulet of Mara is just an Amulet of Mara}

Baryogenesis

2011-12-14 07:05:00 AM

Men: "Know that the more attracted you are, the more likely you are to be wrong about her interest."

Ah, there's my problem. I should ask out girls who I'm not attracted to.

women tended to underestimate men's desire

Ladies, how have you not figured this out? Every straight guy you know not related by blood wants to get in your pants.

Only the actually attractive men probably had no need for misperception

Step 1: Be Attractive
Step 2: Don't be unattractive

Trillian Astra

2011-12-14 07:21:43 AM

Most men overestimate a woman's desire for them, but Farkers aren't the case. Everyone knows Farkers are insecure and socially awkward nice guys.

RexTalionis

2011-12-14 08:13:52 AM

I simply bypass this defect by assuming that no woman have any desire for me whatsoever.

Fail in Human Form

2011-12-14 08:18:56 AM

No, I do not.

frepnog

2011-12-14 08:29:11 AM

miss diminutive: Ishkur: Now, why don't the rest of us do what he does? If you really wanna hook up at the bar, brute force/trial-and-error seems to be the best way to accomplish that goal, however messy it may be. But we're better than him, aren't we? We have abstract conceptualizations in place of our will to get some nookie. Stupid, meaningless things that don't actually exist in the real world, like "class" and "dignity". But which would you rather have tonight? Your conscience, or a warm body to sleep with?

But don't most men have some standards, regardless of how low they are? Sure your buddy went home with a girl almost every night....but if he had to hit on every girl at the bar it might mean that the only one who agreed to go home with him was the syphilitic land whale who hasn't bathed in a week. Given the option of sleeping alone or playing russian roulette with his penis, why always take the latter?

it has been my experience that hot girls are often lonely (because men are intimidated or assume that they have boyfriends) and are also often whores, because they jump at any small show of attention.

think about it. back when she was smoking hot, Lindsay Lohan was blowing guys in public bathrooms.
Kim Kardashian let a black guy fark her on camera. among other examples you can probably imagine.

so no, i doubt the guy was always banging land whales.

RexTalionis

2011-12-14 08:33:54 AM

Baryogenesis: Ladies, how have you not figured this out? Every straight guy you know not related by blood wants to get in your pants.*

*Guarantee void in Tennessee.

Pochas

2011-12-14 08:38:54 AM

I have chicks I know messaging me on facebook telling me they'd like me to "fark their brains out" no strings attached but I don't cause of my hawt gf.

...what is the right amount of estimation of women's desires for me?

frepnog

2011-12-14 08:41:27 AM

Pochas: I have chicks I know messaging me on facebook telling me they'd like me to "fark their brains out" no strings attached but I don't cause of my hawt gf.

...what is the right amount of estimation of women's desires for me?

depends. do these messages come with links to webcam sites?

Pochas

2011-12-14 08:47:04 AM

frepnog: Pochas: I have chicks I know messaging me on facebook telling me they'd like me to "fark their brains out" no strings attached but I don't cause of my hawt gf.

...what is the right amount of estimation of women's desires for me?

depends. do these messages come with links to webcam sites?

har har

Nay she's a real girl i know personally

kab

2011-12-14 08:47:41 AM

"There are tons of studies showing that men think women are interested when they're not"

And then there's the mindset of thinking women aren't interested, and being correct 100% of the time.

SuperChuck

2011-12-14 08:50:12 AM

pseudowho: Funny. I always have done the exact opposite.

Same here. I pretty much assume that I'm not very interesting to anyone.

Schmee

2011-12-14 08:51:23 AM

"Doy"? "Doy"???

Oh, my goodness, it's 1973, and I'm back in grammar school again.

Wendy's Chili

2011-12-14 08:59:04 AM

frepnog: it has been my experience that hot girls are often lonely (because men are intimidated or assume that they have boyfriends) and are also often whores, because they jump at any small show of attention.

think about it. back when she was smoking hot, Lindsay Lohan was blowing guys in public bathrooms.
Kim Kardashian let a black guy fark her on camera.

A black guy you say?!

Wow, she must've been really desperate!

*eyeroll*

frepnog

2011-12-14 09:16:24 AM

Wendy's Chili: frepnog: it has been my experience that hot girls are often lonely (because men are intimidated or assume that they have boyfriends) and are also often whores, because they jump at any small show of attention.

think about it. back when she was smoking hot, Lindsay Lohan was blowing guys in public bathrooms.
Kim Kardashian let a black guy fark her on camera.

A black guy you say?!

Wow, she must've been really desperate!

*eyeroll*

did i say something racist? or simply state a fact? "Kim Kardashian let a black guy fark her on camera" is a fact.

Kant Lavar

2011-12-14 09:19:20 AM

kab: "There are tons of studies showing that men think women are interested when they're not"

And then there's the mindset of thinking women aren't interested, and being correct 100% of the time.

www.angryblacklady.com

JesusJuice

2011-12-14 09:19:38 AM

I find it helps to cultivate a bit of intentional misogyny when trying to pick up teh wimminz. It's much easier to get shot down if you don't give a shiat about the girl doing it. It also prevents awkward stuttering and hand-wringing. Who gives a shiat if she's into you? She's just some girl and there's plenty more like her.

I was never able to have any success with dating or attracting women until I was able to internalize this.

Tatterdemalian

2011-12-14 09:28:38 AM

Ishkur: Now, why don't the rest of us do what he does? If you really wanna hook up at the bar, brute force/trial-and-error seems to be the best way to accomplish that goal, however messy it may be. But we're better than him, aren't we? We have abstract conceptualizations in place of our will to get some nookie. Stupid, meaningless things that don't actually exist in the real world, like "class" and "dignity". But which would you rather have tonight? Your conscience, or a warm body t ...

Mostly because we don't want one of those women we hook up with to be a psychopath who accuses us of rape and sends us to jail so she can get just a little more attention than usual.

/today's world is different
//evolve or die... even if you evolve into something that has no choice but to die alone

Pants full of macaroni!!

2011-12-14 09:31:02 AM

As a lifetime resident of the Casual Acquaintance Zone (look for it on a map, you'll find it out there past the Friend Zone), I can honestly say I do not in any way overestimate women's desire for me - except for their desire for me to stay the hell away from them.

PanicMan

2011-12-14 09:35:03 AM

Pochas: frepnog: Pochas: I have chicks I know messaging me on facebook telling me they'd like me to "fark their brains out" no strings attached but I don't cause of my hawt gf.

...what is the right amount of estimation of women's desires for me?

depends. do these messages come with links to webcam sites?

har har

Nay she's a real girl i know personally

Let me guess, I wouldn't know her she's from Canada.

homarjr

2011-12-14 09:35:11 AM

Look guys, if a girl rejects you at the bar (or anywhere else), just realize it's her loss and not yours and you'll be better off. If she definitively says no within 5 seconds of knowing you, she's really not taking anything about you into account besides her own prejudices.

The minute I started feeling like I wasn't good enough was when I stopped picking up. Girls feed off confidence. A girl says no? Fark her. On to the next one.

/That said, girls also like persistence. Eventually, they all say yes.
//Making her laugh really helps too.

kroonermanblack

2011-12-14 09:45:02 AM

RexTalionis: I simply bypass this defect by assuming that no woman have any desire for me whatsoever.

....are you me?

Cripplingly low self esteem/self worth sucks. I'm going on 7 years without so much as a kiss, and I'm all of 28.

JesusJuice

2011-12-14 10:04:33 AM

kroonermanblack: RexTalionis: I simply bypass this defect by assuming that no woman have any desire for me whatsoever.

....are you me?

Cripplingly low self esteem/self worth sucks. I'm going on 7 years without so much as a kiss, and I'm all of 28.

You're more patient than me. I didn't kiss a girl until I was 22, and it only happened because I got so pissed off about being rejected over and over again that I became an aggressive asshole. I started to just go out and push womens boundaries as much as I thought I could get away with, and then a little more.

I'm sure I made a lot of women feel very uncomfortable and a others even feel unsafe, but I do not care. It was necessary to improve my life, and I had to do what's right for me.

Lou Brown

2011-12-14 10:07:35 AM

1. Overestimate your chances and come on too strong? You're a pig.
2. Underestimate your chances and come off as weak/without confidence? You're not a "real man" and won't get anywhere.
3. Can read women perfectly and always know exactly what your chances are? You're mythical.

It's not easy to be a guy in the dating world (not to say it's easy for women). No matter what you do, you're going to fail hard a lot of the time.

chopit

2011-12-14 10:08:41 AM

Ishkur: And I'll be damned if the guy didn't get slapped more times than a two dollar whore.

Reminds me of the story my dad likes to tell. He had a frat buddy who would stand outside the Rathskeller, the bar in the union at UW-Madison, and ask every pretty girl who walked by if he could bite their thigh.

My dad asked him, "Man, don't you get slapped a lot?"

"Yeah," he says, "but I also get laid a lot."

WellBelowAverage

2011-12-14 10:13:26 AM

kroonermanblack: RexTalionis: I simply bypass this defect by assuming that no woman have any desire for me whatsoever.

....are you me?

Cripplingly low self esteem/self worth sucks. I'm going on 7 years without so much as a kiss, and I'm all of 28.

Here's some unsolicited advice.

Alone and Lonely are not the same thing.

You have to learn to be happy without a woman and not need one as if you would be incomplete without one around.

Make yourself the person you want to be, so that the addition of a woman to the equation is just a bonus and not a necessity.

A Leaf in Fall

2011-12-14 10:17:57 AM

Just because a girl isn't interested in the first 3 minutes of talking to a guy, does not mean that she won't become attracted to him over time.

And all that BS about a woman knowing within the first 5 minutes whether or not she will sleep with a guy is just that, bullshiat. Any one who has EVER talked with a woman knows their innate propensity for revisionist history, especially when it comes to their own thoughts and feelings. Basically, if a woman ends up sleeping with a guy, then she obviously knew she would from the first 5 minutes.

dready zim

2011-12-14 10:19:10 AM

Women love confident men

Confidence is not always connected to attractiveness..

men with no inkling of how bad they look can be confident.

this leads to these men getting laid when otherwise they wouldn`t.

this is why women date ugly guys.

That and money.

Jim from Saint Paul

2011-12-14 10:21:41 AM

Trillian Astra: Most men overestimate a woman's desire for them, but Farkers aren't the case. Everyone knows Farkers are insecure and socially awkward nice guys.

I am secure enough in my looks to suggest women don't find me attractive.

JNowe

2011-12-14 10:34:48 AM

It's not just guys that do this. I've encountered a lot of women who assumed that I wanted them, or that it was unthinkable that any man wouldn't. It can be amusing if they're snotty about it but it's nerve-wracking if they're otherwise decent to you, because you don't know if it'll hurt their pride if you let them know the truth.

Teenwolf

2011-12-14 10:39:16 AM

A Leaf in Fall: And all that BS about a woman knowing within the first 5 minutes whether or not she will sleep with a guy is just that, bullshiat.

It's not that a woman knows within the first five minutes if she'll sleep with a guy, but she certainly knows within the first five minutes if she won't.

hasty ambush

2011-12-14 10:48:46 AM

It does not hurt to aim high. You might get lucky and end up dating/marrying out of your league.

www.celebritybrideguide.com

But then again most likely you won't

starsrift

2011-12-14 11:16:57 AM

hasty ambush: It does not hurt to aim high. You might get lucky and end up dating/marrying out of your league.

I'm confused. Your words and the context of this thread suggest that she is out of his league, but the pictures suggest the opposite.

homarjr

2011-12-14 11:48:27 AM

Teenwolf: A Leaf in Fall: And all that BS about a woman knowing within the first 5 minutes whether or not she will sleep with a guy is just that, bullshiat.

It's not that a woman knows within the first five minutes if she'll sleep with a guy, but she certainly knows within the first five minutes if she won't.

Absolutely incorrect. Girls don't know shiate in the first minutes of meeting anyone. They surprise themselves more often than not when an "unattractive" guy becomes charming.

homarjr

2011-12-14 11:49:22 AM

hasty ambush: It does not hurt to aim high. You might get lucky and end up dating/marrying out of your league.

There's no such thing as "leagues". Everyone is fair game.

beerbaron

2011-12-14 11:53:36 AM

chopit: My dad asked him, "Man, don't you get slapped a lot?"

"Yeah," he says, "but I also get laid a lot."

cdn3.hark.com

It's jus a dang 'ol numbers game, man.

frepnog

2011-12-14 11:58:20 AM

SirTanon

2011-12-14 12:01:48 PM

I think she likes me

Phaeon

2011-12-14 12:21:27 PM

Learned this one in psychology:

Men have learned to overestimate a woman's desire because a false positive (thinking she's into you but isn't) is less devastating than a false negative (thinking she wasn't into when she was) because you could have gotten laid, son. But didn't...

Skirl Hutsenreiter

2011-12-14 12:35:35 PM

homarjr: Teenwolf: A Leaf in Fall: And all that BS about a woman knowing within the first 5 minutes whether or not she will sleep with a guy is just that, bullshiat.

It's not that a woman knows within the first five minutes if she'll sleep with a guy, but she certainly knows within the first five minutes if she won't.

Absolutely incorrect. Girls don't know shiate in the first minutes of meeting anyone. They surprise themselves more often than not when an "unattractive" guy becomes charming.

As a woman, I can say This.

If all you have to go on is looks, the bar for looks is going to be high. But you get to know and like someone, and suddenly that guy is a lot more attractive.

\I hesitate to say it, though, because some guy who can't take a hint will take it as justification to continue hanging around creepily hoping that one day she'll suddenly realize how great he is.

taxachucetts

2011-12-14 01:13:55 PM

frepnog: miss diminutive: Ishkur: Now, why don't the rest of us do what he does? If you really wanna hook up at the bar, brute force/trial-and-error seems to be the best way to accomplish that goal, however messy it may be. But we're better than him, aren't we? We have abstract conceptualizations in place of our will to get some nookie. Stupid, meaningless things that don't actually exist in the real world, like "class" and "dignity". But which would you rather have tonight? Your conscience, or a warm body to sleep with?

But don't most men have some standards, regardless of how low they are? Sure your buddy went home with a girl almost every night....but if he had to hit on every girl at the bar it might mean that the only one who agreed to go home with him was the syphilitic land whale who hasn't bathed in a week. Given the option of sleeping alone or playing russian roulette with his penis, why always take the latter?

it has been my experience that hot girls are often lonely (because men are intimidated or assume that they have boyfriends) and are also often whores, because they jump at any small show of attention.

think about it. back when she was smoking hot, Lindsay Lohan was blowing guys in public bathrooms.
Kim Kardashian let a black guy fark her on camera. among other examples you can probably imagine.

so no, i doubt the guy was always banging land whales.

racist much

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