FARK.com: (6811333) Iran says it can control downed American drone, bringing the grand total of countries able to do so to one

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		Iran says it can control downed American drone, bringing the grand total of countries able to do so to one (cnn.com)		187
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187 Comments (+0 »)

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LarryDan43

2011-12-13 12:54:31 PM

That's what we want them to think.

hitlersbrain

2011-12-13 12:55:32 PM

What's the frequency, Achmed?

Jake Havechek

2011-12-13 12:55:52 PM

We should load these things with smallpox virus for situations like these.

rebelyell2006

2011-12-13 12:56:15 PM

Going from the stone age to the best technology ever? Sounds like someone figured out console commands and "process_cq". Cheating bastards.

Lt. Cheese Weasel

2011-12-13 12:56:58 PM

Is there no limit to the amount of bullshiat these people are capable of shoveling in the media? It's comical.

maniac64

2011-12-13 12:57:25 PM

Why didn't we tomahawk that thing as soon as it landed?

fawlty

2011-12-13 12:58:35 PM

Jake Havechek: We should load these things with smallpox virus for situations like these.

a small amount of C4 would be good. push the button, boom goes the dynamite, and Iran loses several techs and scientists. win - win.

EdNortonsTwin

2011-12-13 12:58:53 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Is there no limit to the amount of bullshiat these people are capable of shoveling in the media? It's comical.

Iran shovels it's fair share as well.

Harry Freakstorm

2011-12-13 12:59:00 PM

Prove it, put it back in the air and fly it over here towards Afghanistan. That's it. Wow, I think you really are controlling it. Make it swoop over here so I can get a photo. Got it! Thanks.

In hind sight, Betsy Ross should have gone with skulls on the U S Flag. Fifty states, fifty skulls, biatches. You really want to mess with a country with 50 skulls on their flag?

Phil Moskowitz

2011-12-13 12:59:15 PM

Jake Havechek: We should load these things with smallpox virus for situations like these.

give them both barrels, load them with bigpox.

Mattix

2011-12-13 12:59:16 PM

Should have used one of these:

images1.fanpop.com

Pollexabator

2011-12-13 12:59:17 PM

www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com

~~Baghdad~~ Basij Bob says, "It only took us a few minutes to fix and we are now flying it around my back yard with an XBox controller. Tomorrow we're going to take it to the beach and impress girls with it."

douchebag/hater

2011-12-13 12:59:32 PM

Heh.

ArkPanda

2011-12-13 01:00:04 PM

So we send in another one with a 500 kiloton nuclear warhead. If they really can control it, they're now a nuclear power. If not, well...

CAADbury

2011-12-13 01:00:05 PM

FTFA: President Barack Obama said Monday that the United States has asked Iran to return the drone aircraft that Iran claims it recently brought down in Iranian territory.

"We've asked for it back. We'll see how the Iranians respond," Obama said.

Also FTFA: American officials have not confirmed that the drone shown in a video released last Thursday by Iranian media is a U.S. aircraft.

::scratches head::

scottydoesntknow

2011-12-13 01:00:09 PM

LarryDan43: That's what we want them to think.

I imagine the drone is hooked up with Skynet like technology. The second they stick that LAN cable in the conveniently marked jack the USA will be in control of their entire infrastructure. The plane will then transform into an unstoppable death machine, kill Ineedadinnerjacket, and bring democracy to the middle east in one fell swoop.

tillerman35

2011-12-13 01:00:40 PM

I've been wondering where my kid's RC airplane went. Thanks, Iran! You saved Christmas at the Tillerman35 house!

Loud_Mouth_Soup

2011-12-13 01:01:00 PM

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Tuesday that his country has "been able to control" the U.S. drone that Iran claims it recently brought down, Venezuelan state TV reported.

Yeah, because Venezuelan state TV would never make shiat up for propaganda purposes.

Never.

Never, ever.

AcneVulgaris

2011-12-13 01:01:13 PM

Just wait till they send some of the armed ones back to bomb the base that launched them.

AeAe

2011-12-13 01:01:35 PM

Jake Havechek: We should load these things with smallpox virus for situations like these.

Capt Tripps. It has something like a 99% infection and mortality rate.

EdNortonsTwin

2011-12-13 01:01:38 PM

fawlty: Jake Havechek: We should load these things with smallpox virus for situations like these.

a small amount of C4 would be good. push the button, boom goes the dynam!te, and Iran loses several techs and scientists. win - win.

Strapping thing with explos!ves and sending them in to eachothers countries. Great plan.

monoski

2011-12-13 01:03:02 PM

Waiting to see Photoshop pic of Iran flying three of them.

mytdawg

2011-12-13 01:03:05 PM

Furthermore, the systems of Iran are so advanced also, like the system of this plane.

We hit it with rocks.

Nothing against Iran. Half of our country believes it runs on magic. We have no use for this "science" you falsely speak of. It's the power of the lord and the blood of virgins. Blasphemers. It's like the middle ages but with iPhones and malls.

1000 Ways to Dye

2011-12-13 01:03:07 PM

I don't believe them. The control codes are encrypted before broadcast (the returned video isn't, however).
They not only broke encryption, but reverse engineered everything in just a few days?

SkunkWerks

2011-12-13 01:03:17 PM

What Iran "controlling the plane" might look like. (new window)

ihatedumbpeople

2011-12-13 01:03:18 PM

well duh, you just put the switch on your remote to the same number as the drone. sheesh.

seriously though, i'm surprised these things arent' rigged to self destruct if they lose contact with them for a period of time...1 hour with no control? boom goes the drone.

Antimatter

2011-12-13 01:03:39 PM

If it was a real drone, which all signs say they have one, it's a massive loss for us. That thing was loaded with the latest intel and stelth tech, losing both gives a huge advantage to our rivals.

you bet your arse Russia and China will do whatever it takes to get a good look at this, and I suspect they will get their chance, for the right cost paid to Iran. Result? 10 years from now both will ether have their own versions, or radar/missile countermeasures to our tech.

Fear the Clam

2011-12-13 01:04:39 PM

Harry Freakstorm: In hind sight, Betsy Ross should have gone with skulls on the U S Flag. Fifty states, fifty skulls, biatches. You really want to mess with a country with 50 skulls on their flag?

It's not like these guys are so tough:

tuxq

2011-12-13 01:04:48 PM

$10 says the drone is doing recon and is still quite capable of self-destructing. If nothing else, it's broadcasting the GPS coordinates of the scientists' location.

GreatBunzinni

2011-12-13 01:05:02 PM

Loud_Mouth_Soup: Yeah, because Venezuelan state TV would never make shiat up for propaganda purposes.

Never.

Never, ever.

Could you please point out a single example of how Venezuelan state TV made shiat up for propaganda purposes?

Cubicle Jockey

2011-12-13 01:05:16 PM

maniac64: Why didn't we tomahawk that thing as soon as it landed?

Everyone tries to spy on each other. Very few countries lob ordinance into another's territory unless they are at war.

fawlty: a small amount of C4 would be good. push the button, boom goes the dynamite, and Iran loses several techs and scientists. win - win.

Similarly, if another country sent a drone into the United States, and rigged it to explode when civilians examine it, what do you believe our classification of that event would be?

rebelyell2006

2011-12-13 01:05:45 PM

Fear the Clam: upload.wikimedia.org

Books, hoes and guns? Sounds awesome.

kapaso

2011-12-13 01:05:57 PM

EdNortonsTwin: fawlty: Jake Havechek: We should load these things with smallpox virus for situations like these.

a small amount of C4 would be good. push the button, boom goes the dynam!te, and Iran loses several techs and scientists. win - win.

Strapping thing with explos!ves and sending them in to eachothers countries. Great plan.

America should be able to violate Iran's airspace anytime we want, after all we do rule the world.

GreatBunzinni

2011-12-13 01:06:37 PM

tuxq: $10 says the drone is doing recon and is still quite capable of self-destructing. If nothing else, it's broadcasting the GPS coordinates of the scientists' location.

Methinks you are trying too hard to expect the USAF to be some sort of team america.

H31N0US

2011-12-13 01:06:42 PM

Cubicle Jockey: what do you believe our classification of that event would be?

Tourism?

savage_world

2011-12-13 01:06:55 PM

Honestly, it's just a technical intelligence loss. It's a risk you run whenever you use your latest gizmos to actually accomplish something. And while the loss of the drone is undesirable, it's not a crisis. Ultimately it won't even be a footnote in the history books. So the administration should tell the Iranians to fark off, quit talking about the lost bird, and double-check on our procedures for avoiding these situations.

krackpipe

2011-12-13 01:07:23 PM

~~Iran says it~~ Russian engineers can control downed American drone, bringing the grand total of countries able to do so to one (cnn.com)

ritalinchild 54

2011-12-13 01:07:26 PM

Something stinks about this whole situation.

crab66

2011-12-13 01:07:27 PM

maniac64: Why didn't we tomahawk that thing as soon as it landed?

Well there are a lot of possible scenarios. One is that the drone was 'jammed' somehow and we don't know exactly where it went down.

But that's the trade off. Either we risk pilots. Or we risk technology. You can bet any serious reverse engineering efforts will be at the hands of the Chinese or even Russians.

Harry Freakstorm

2011-12-13 01:07:46 PM

Greetings eBayers. You are bidding on unmanned drone and former property of decadent U S Government. We will deliver to the winning bidder the above drone (flags not included. Stop asking).

This drone violated sacred territory of Iran and is now the property thereof. Our many scientists have researched this aircraft and make the following guarantees.

It is real
No pilot can fit in it. Not even Major Tiny, Iranian Space Monkey.
It has a front end and a back end but we're not really sure which is which
Maybe landing gear?

Successful bidder will receive the aircraft once currency has been exchanged, not a moment sooner. Don't like rules? Don't bid. We've been burned before and strive to make this auction acceptable to all parties. Do not bid if you cannot afford to pay. All non pays will be reported to eBay!

And again: Flags are not part of the auction and are not for sale.

EdNortonsTwin

2011-12-13 01:07:54 PM

Antimatter: If it was a real drone, which all signs say they have one, it's a massive loss for us. That thing was loaded with the latest intel and stelth tech, losing both gives a huge advantage to our rivals.

you bet your arse Russia and China will do whatever it takes to get a good look at this, and I suspect they will get their chance, for the right cost paid to Iran. Result? 10 years from now both will ether have their own versions, or radar/missile countermeasures to our tech.

Have a little faith. In ten years the Pentagon will have found their missing three trillion dollars and used the money to create total-stealth technology.

yert

2011-12-13 01:08:21 PM

AeAe: Jake Havechek: We should load these things with smallpox virus for situations like these.

Capt Tripps. It has something like a 99% infection and mortality rate.

didn't realize Jerry was that sick.

/maybe he will get better

GleeUnit

2011-12-13 01:09:04 PM

rebelyell2006: Fear the Clam: upload.wikimedia.org

Books, hoes and guns? Sounds awesome.

27.media.tumblr.com

Considering running for office, pending a few minor alterations to the design

INeedAName

2011-12-13 01:09:25 PM

Apparently the drone in question was being flown originally by Lt Carson Palmer. You know how I know? It got intercepted.

xXJerkStoreXx

2011-12-13 01:09:56 PM

They must have recruited Jeff Goldblum to "hack" it. I suppose now they will fake a change of heart and give it back to us...and blow up our mothership.

kapaso

2011-12-13 01:10:00 PM

ihatedumbpeople: well duh, you just put the switch on your remote to the same number as the drone. sheesh.

seriously though, i'm surprised these things arent' rigged to self destruct if they lose contact with them for a period of time...1 hour with no control? boom goes the drone.

They almost certainly are, I'm sure the Iranians aren't they only ones who would like to see America's drones rendered obsolete. In other words they could have had help gaining control over the drone.

China and Russia would be negligent if they weren't working on a way to bring them down, I'm sure Iran would not, or did not, mind the help.

RevCarter

2011-12-13 01:10:29 PM

CAADbury: FTFA: President Barack Obama said Monday that the United States has asked Iran to return the drone aircraft that Iran claims it recently brought down in Iranian territory.

"We've asked for it back. We'll see how the Iranians respond," Obama said.

Also FTFA: American officials have not confirmed that the drone shown in a video released last Thursday by Iranian media is a U.S. aircraft.

::scratches head::

A drone crashed. We asked for it back. The thing in the video isn't the drone that crashed. Does that help?

crab66

2011-12-13 01:10:41 PM

GreatBunzinni: Could you please point out a single example of how Venezuelan state TV made shiat up for propaganda purposes?

Not sure if serious.

fsbilly

2011-12-13 01:10:58 PM

If they were controlling it they'd at least have a pic of it with its gear down.

I have the feeling the inside of that thing is a bunch of hot silicon goo.

AFKobel

2011-12-13 01:11:34 PM

Cubicle Jockey: maniac64: Why didn't we tomahawk that thing as soon as it landed?

Everyone tries to spy on each other. Very few countries lob ordinance into another's territory unless they are at war.

fawlty: a small amount of C4 would be good. push the button, boom goes the dynamite, and Iran loses several techs and scientists. win - win.

Similarly, if another country sent a drone into the United States, and rigged it to explode when civilians examine it, what do you believe our classification of that event would be?

"A spirited game of tag gone awry"?

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