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(Kotaku) Amusing Fus ro DELICIOUSBACON   (kotaku.com) divider line 61
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4131 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Dec 2011 at 1:12 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2011-12-13 11:15:15 AM
I used to eat bacon like you, but then I took a cholesterol test.

To the knee.
 
2011-12-13 01:17:41 PM
Stupid work filter.
 
2011-12-13 01:20:20 PM
That's kinda gross, actually. I mean, I like bacon as much as the next person but I would never wear it as a hat.
 
2011-12-13 01:30:50 PM
PoeGhost: That's kinda gross, actually. I mean, I like bacon as much as the next person but I would never wear it as a hat.

It really comes in handy during the Dark Baconhood quest line though
 
2011-12-13 01:40:00 PM
i1222.photobucket.com

q & d
 
2011-12-13 01:40:42 PM
scottydoesntknow: It really comes in handy during the Dark Baconhood quest line though

On a related note, did anyone else think that the DB questline was probably the best part of the entire game? Played through it on a whim, and didn't want it to end.

/The civil war line is kinda dumb (and broken). Wish i could assassinate both of THEM.
 
2011-12-13 01:47:46 PM
dahmers love zombie: I used to eat bacon like you, but then I took a cholesterol test.

To the knee.


I'm going to hit you.
 
2011-12-13 01:52:15 PM
Edward Rooney Dean of Students: On a related note, did anyone else think that the DB questline was probably the best part of the entire game? Played through it on a whim, and didn't want it to end.

I liked it, but I think the Dark Brotherhood quest line in Oblivion was better.


spoilers...

I noticed the difference in writing of the notes, but didn't think much of it. When I realized I was killing fellow members, I felt genuinely used.

Also, the house party quest in Oblivion is still probably my favorite 1/2 hour of gaming ever.
 
2011-12-13 01:55:51 PM
wmoonfox: I'm going to hit you.

Let me guess. Somebody stole your sweetroll.
 
2011-12-13 02:19:51 PM
Need a Dispenser Here: Edward Rooney Dean of Students: On a related note, did anyone else think that the DB questline was probably the best part of the entire game? Played through it on a whim, and didn't want it to end.

I liked it, but I think the Dark Brotherhood quest line in Oblivion was better.


spoilers...

I noticed the difference in writing of the notes, but didn't think much of it. When I realized I was killing fellow members, I felt genuinely used.

Also, the house party quest in Oblivion is still probably my favorite 1/2 hour of gaming ever.


Just started the quest, I was about to go "d'oh, silly me, reading past a spoiler warning" but then I realised

3.bp.blogspot.com
"Fark it, I don't read books/notes anyway"
 
2011-12-13 02:28:20 PM
I just sold my soul for eternity to Nocturnal, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.
 
2011-12-13 02:33:02 PM
Need a Dispenser Here: Edward Rooney Dean of Students: On a related note, did anyone else think that the DB questline was probably the best part of the entire game? Played through it on a whim, and didn't want it to end.

I liked it, but I think the Dark Brotherhood quest line in Oblivion was better.


spoilers...

I noticed the difference in writing of the notes, but didn't think much of it. When I realized I was killing fellow members, I felt genuinely used.

Also, the house party quest in Oblivion is still probably my favorite 1/2 hour of gaming ever.


*SPOILERS*

The Skyrim DB quest definitely stuck with me more. The Emperor was just such a badass (literally staring death in the face and scoffing at it), and I immediately fulfilled his final request. Lucien was the best thing about the Oblivion DBs, and I was sad as hell when he was used as a scapegoat and brutally murdered. It was nice seeing him back in Skyrim, and his reunion with Shadowmere was great.

The House Party quest from Oblivion I will definitely agree with you. Top 10 quests of all time in my opinion. Couldn't tell you how many times I replayed it in different variations.
 
2011-12-13 02:36:11 PM
Counter_Intelligent: I just sold my soul for eternity to Nocturnal, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

That's nothing, I beat an old man in a cage to death twice to get a rusty mace....

/that made me feel like I sold my soul
 
2011-12-13 02:37:03 PM
I did Blood on the Ice last night.

*spoiler* Got the evidence to incriminate the court wizard. Started to turn it in before I thought about it. Did I really want to kill off a vendor NPC for a measly quest reward? Wait, isn't there a guy in town who looks like he should be a vendor, but isn't? Doesn't he have nord embalming tools... right. Of course the game wouldn't let me run over there and just chop him in half and report in, so I had to go through this long process to finally "catch" him. But it was probably an unintended "meta" way to solve that quest.
 
2011-12-13 02:46:02 PM
Just started the DB quest last night so I can't add too much. It's fun so far though. The only downside is when you kill someone in town, even if you're completely hidden, the guards go all apeshiat.

Who knew?
 
2011-12-13 02:52:25 PM
my girlfriend was slightly taken back by my willful arowing of faces as an assassin. Told her it was better then hitting them in the knee.

funny-pictures-blog.com
 
2011-12-13 02:55:11 PM
Time Traveling Bunnies: Just started the DB quest last night so I can't add too much. It's fun so far though. The only downside is when you kill someone in town, even if you're completely hidden, the guards go all apeshiat.

Who knew?


Not sure how far you are, but I think it mostly depends on how you do it.

*spoilers*

I kept getting caught when trying to snipe that bride at her wedding, so eventually I just planted some frenzy poison on her husband. Halfway through her speech he yanks out his sword and swats her over the side, then takes on half the wedding party before getting killed himself. People were so shocked by what happened they didn't even seem to mind me stripping their corpses for goodies.

*end spoilers*
 
2011-12-13 03:00:19 PM
Hoboclown: Time Traveling Bunnies: Just started the DB quest last night so I can't add too much. It's fun so far though. The only downside is when you kill someone in town, even if you're completely hidden, the guards go all apeshiat.

Who knew?

Not sure how far you are, but I think it mostly depends on how you do it.

*spoilers*

I kept getting caught when trying to snipe that bride at her wedding, so eventually I just planted some frenzy poison on her husband. Halfway through her speech he yanks out his sword and swats her over the side, then takes on half the wedding party before getting killed himself. People were so shocked by what happened they didn't even seem to mind me stripping their corpses for goodies.

*end spoilers*


Awesome! There is another method though.

spoilers again...

There happens to be a gargoyle or something right above her when she's giving her speech. It doesn't look very stable though. In fact, it looks like the slightest push might dislodge it...

/spoilers

That said, your method would be way more entertaining. Instead of striving to avoid detection, just stand around and soak in the mayhem...
 
2011-12-13 03:04:48 PM
Time Traveling Bunnies: Just started the DB quest last night so I can't add too much. It's fun so far though. The only downside is when you kill someone in town, even if you're completely hidden, the guards go all apeshiat.

Who knew?


For most of the assassinations, you should be able to hide and sneak attack people. That will avoid agro and bounty. I recommend doing the Thieves Guild line first and getting the Shroud power to make this part easier. Oh, and don't bring a companion.

I believe the wedding is the only case where this will not work. I stumbled upon the gargoyle trick mentioned earlier.
 
2011-12-13 03:06:59 PM
Burr: Counter_Intelligent: I just sold my soul for eternity to Nocturnal, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

That's nothing, I beat an old man in a cage to death twice to get a rusty mace....

/that made me feel like I sold my soul


Is that where the haunted house quest goes? After being forced to kill the guy I was trying to help out at the beginning, I bailed on that quest altogether. I'm not interested in helping some weird god get his rocks off watching me kill helpless people.

If I could find a way into the right plane of Oblivion, I'd beat that Daedra to death with his own rusty mace.
 
2011-12-13 03:09:50 PM
PingTimeout: For most of the assassinations, you should be able to hide and sneak attack people. That will avoid agro and bounty. I recommend doing the Thieves Guild line first and getting the Shroud power to make this part easier. Oh, and don't bring a companion.

I believe the wedding is the only case where this will not work. I stumbled upon the gargoyle trick mentioned earlier.


To be fair I didn't try all to hard not to be caught. It was the first mission where they give you 3 people to kill. I killed one market when she was just aimless standing in the marked, around noon.

Yeah, there were people around. I'm in my full Nightingale armor and was hidden, but apparently as along as people see her die, it doesn't mean shiat for staying hidden.

I wrecked that town on my way out. biatches didn't even know what hit 'em. I went for the full GTA, started shouting everywhere, cutting throats, conjuring aurochs.....

I don't think I'm allowed back there.
 
2011-12-13 03:11:33 PM
Time Traveling Bunnies: PingTimeout: For most of the assassinations, you should be able to hide and sneak attack people. That will avoid agro and bounty. I recommend doing the Thieves Guild line first and getting the Shroud power to make this part easier. Oh, and don't bring a companion.

I believe the wedding is the only case where this will not work. I stumbled upon the gargoyle trick mentioned earlier.

To be fair I didn't try all too hard not to be caught. It was the first mission where they give you 3 people to kill. I killed one in a market when she was just aimlessly standing in the marked,t around noon.

Yeah, there were people around. I'm in my full Nightingale armor and was hidden, but apparently as along as people see her die, it doesn't mean shiat for staying hidden.

I wrecked that town on my way out. biatches didn't even know what hit 'em. I went for the full GTA, started shouting everywhere, cutting throats, conjuring aurochs.....

I don't think I'm allowed back there.


Wow. FTFM
 
2011-12-13 03:12:29 PM
PingTimeout: I believe the wedding is the only case where this will not work.

It actually does. I wound up crouching in the shadows by the courtyard door and sniped her mid-sentence. Was friggin awesome.

/My plan B was the gargoyle. Maybe next time.
 
2011-12-13 03:13:23 PM
I'm enjoying the f*ck out of Skyrim, but it, much more than Oblivion, is highlighting the problem of having Immortal NPC's who are flagged as quest-essential.

Morrowind did this right: you can kill ANYONE, you just get a warning if you kill someone essential. It's up to you to then decide what you want to do.

I did Dark Brotherhood, Mages College, Companions, etc all before even thinking about the Civil War questline. Since I rolled an Imperial, I figured I should go against my instincts and join the empire rather than the stormcloaks. Here's the thing, though - in Morrowind I could've snuck into Winterhold, assassinated Ulfric, and then gone and collected my reward. Solve the civil war in a single, vicious stroke. But no, I can't do that. SPOILERS Even though you kill him in the end, I couldn't just cut to the chase, i had to retake all those f*cking outposts first.
 
2011-12-13 03:13:34 PM
Time Traveling Bunnies: To be fair I didn't try all to hard not to be caught. It was the first mission where they give you 3 people to kill. I killed one market when she was just aimless standing in the marked, around noon.

Yeah, there were people around. I'm in my full Nightingale armor and was hidden, but apparently as along as people see her die, it doesn't mean shiat for staying hidden.

I wrecked that town on my way out. biatches didn't even know what hit 'em. I went for the full GTA, started shouting everywhere, cutting throats, conjuring aurochs.....

I don't think I'm allowed back there.


That's how I've been handling things with my Heavy Armor/Shield/Orc. What's that, I'm supposed to steal something from inside that chick's house? Kill lady, take key, walk in. Hand item to NPC, move on.
 
2011-12-13 03:21:05 PM
raygundan: Is that where the haunted house quest goes? After being forced to kill the guy I was trying to help out at the beginning, I bailed on that quest altogether. I'm not interested in helping some weird god get his rocks off watching me kill helpless people.

If I could find a way into the right plane of Oblivion, I'd beat that Daedra to death with his own rusty mace.


I would answer your question, but the mace commands me otherwise....

/whats that my sweet? Kill him? But.....I have no black soul gems.
 
2011-12-13 03:29:04 PM
Burr: raygundan: Is that where the haunted house quest goes? After being forced to kill the guy I was trying to help out at the beginning, I bailed on that quest altogether. I'm not interested in helping some weird god get his rocks off watching me kill helpless people.

If I could find a way into the right plane of Oblivion, I'd beat that Daedra to death with his own rusty mace.

I would answer your question, but the mace commands me otherwise....

/whats that my sweet? Kill him? But.....I have no black soul gems.


So...where's a decent source of black soul gems and/or a black soul gem maker? I went white with Azura's Star like an idiot.
 
2011-12-13 03:33:25 PM
wmoonfox: dahmers love zombie: I used to eat bacon like you, but then I took a cholesterol test.

To the knee.

I'm going to hit you.


In the knee.
 
2011-12-13 03:33:31 PM
fifthhorseman: So...where's a decent source of black soul gems and/or a black soul gem maker? I went white with Azura's Star like an idiot.

In Oblivion you could make your own by taking "clean" soul gems to an alter on certain nights.

Don't know if there is an equivalent of this in Skyrim.
 
2011-12-13 03:35:57 PM
fifthhorseman: So...where's a decent source of black soul gems and/or a black soul gem maker? I went white with Azura's Star like an idiot.

Blackreach has geode veins. I managed to get a black star out of each one for the most part.
 
2011-12-13 04:08:17 PM
Burr: raygundan: Is that where the haunted house quest goes? After being forced to kill the guy I was trying to help out at the beginning, I bailed on that quest altogether. I'm not interested in helping some weird god get his rocks off watching me kill helpless people.

If I could find a way into the right plane of Oblivion, I'd beat that Daedra to death with his own rusty mace.

I would answer your question, but the mace commands me otherwise....

/whats that my sweet? Kill him? But.....I have no black soul gems.


Eh, nobody can kill me. My dragonborn is a cowardly engineer. He's accepted that his destiny is to kill dragons, but he's not about to step outside to do so until he's finished his Legendary Double-Enchanted Armor of Fark Off I'm Invincible and Overpowered and his Poisoned Legendary Double-Enchanted Bow of One-Hitting God, at which point he'll go outside, at night, buffed to the gills on potions, in sneak mode while invisible, and take pot-shots at you from half a mile away.
 
2011-12-13 04:08:29 PM
I'm just starting Oblivion now (got the GOTY on steam for $10 or whatever), and my thief/marksman is tons of fun, but I dont want to do any quests because all the quest rewards are level-dependent.. and im only 8.

Should I just go do em? Go finish the main quest already, then level some in dungeons to do the side quests and DLCs?
 
2011-12-13 04:17:17 PM
JesusGaveMuhammadAFacial: I'm just starting Oblivion now (got the GOTY on steam for $10 or whatever), and my thief/marksman is tons of fun, but I dont want to do any quests because all the quest rewards are level-dependent.. and im only 8.

Should I just go do em? Go finish the main quest already, then level some in dungeons to do the side quests and DLCs?


Oblivion has the unfortunate distinction of enemies leveling with you. So pretty much any item you get from a quest will probably be replaced later when every bandit is decked out in glass armor and rocking end-game weapinry.

I suggest the PC mod to get rid of the leveling. Then you can do the quests whenever you want without worrying about finding that exact same item on a bandit the next time you level up.
 
2011-12-13 04:17:55 PM
Ugh, weapinry, really? Weaponry. Sorry.
 
2011-12-13 04:54:08 PM
Treygreen13: JesusGaveMuhammadAFacial: I'm just starting Oblivion now (got the GOTY on steam for $10 or whatever), and my thief/marksman is tons of fun, but I dont want to do any quests because all the quest rewards are level-dependent.. and im only 8.

Should I just go do em? Go finish the main quest already, then level some in dungeons to do the side quests and DLCs?

Oblivion has the unfortunate distinction of enemies leveling with you. So pretty much any item you get from a quest will probably be replaced later when every bandit is decked out in glass armor and rocking end-game weapinry.

I suggest the PC mod to get rid of the leveling. Then you can do the quests whenever you want without worrying about finding that exact same item on a bandit the next time you level up.


If I level or console myself up, won't my gear be too low to survive vs mobs? So I'll have to console in higher gear anyway
 
2011-12-13 04:56:39 PM
Treygreen13: I suggest the PC mod to get rid of the leveling.

I just never slept. There was one quest that required sleeping, so I did that one early. I capped my level at around 10.
 
2011-12-13 05:04:53 PM
www.nerfnow.com
 
2011-12-13 05:12:27 PM
JesusGaveMuhammadAFacial: Treygreen13: JesusGaveMuhammadAFacial: I'm just starting Oblivion now (got the GOTY on steam for $10 or whatever), and my thief/marksman is tons of fun, but I dont want to do any quests because all the quest rewards are level-dependent.. and im only 8.

Should I just go do em? Go finish the main quest already, then level some in dungeons to do the side quests and DLCs?

Oblivion has the unfortunate distinction of enemies leveling with you. So pretty much any item you get from a quest will probably be replaced later when every bandit is decked out in glass armor and rocking end-game weapinry.

I suggest the PC mod to get rid of the leveling. Then you can do the quests whenever you want without worrying about finding that exact same item on a bandit the next time you level up.

If I level or console myself up, won't my gear be too low to survive vs mobs? So I'll have to console in higher gear anyway


No, the mod keeps the NPCs from leveling with you. So you can go into a noobie dungeon with basic bandits and they'll still be basic bandits. So you can walk in and just destroy them and feel like you have made progress, instead of returning to the same dungeon later and everyone is (somehow) your equal again.

I haven't played it in a while but some of the Mods went in an meticulously set the levels of certain dungeons/encounters so you could get in over you head or go stomp some faces, should you want to.
 
2011-12-13 05:20:12 PM
t3knomanser: Treygreen13: I suggest the PC mod to get rid of the leveling.

I just never slept. There was one quest that required sleeping, so I did that one early. I capped my level at around 10.


Huh?
 
2011-12-13 05:40:39 PM
I have an old Pentium 2 laptop sitting around that I put old games on.
Is Daggerfall or Arena any good?
 
2011-12-13 05:42:22 PM
JesusGaveMuhammadAFacial: Huh?

In Oblivion, you only leveled when you slept. So if you never slept, you never leveled.
 
2011-12-13 05:42:43 PM
t3knomanser: I just never slept. There was one quest that required sleeping, so I did that one early. I capped my level at around 10.

You level up automatically in Skyrim. Sleep not required.
 
2011-12-13 05:43:08 PM
JesusGaveMuhammadAFacial: Huh?

you couldn't "level up" your character without sleeping in a bed in oblivion, but you could still level up skills

you kind of had to be there
 
2011-12-13 05:43:23 PM
Whoops. My bad.
 
2011-12-13 05:45:08 PM
JesusGaveMuhammadAFacial: t3knomanser: Treygreen13: I suggest the PC mod to get rid of the leveling.

I just never slept. There was one quest that required sleeping, so I did that one early. I capped my level at around 10.

Huh?


In Oblivion the only way you could level up was sleeping in a bed. A lot of people basically played the game at lvl 5-15 because the enemies (and their gear) would scale with you, meaning if you went up too quickly (yay for jumping EVERYWHERE) you would end up screwed fairly quickly. By keeping your level low you made the enemies a lot easier. You could still do skill upgrades and all that, it's just your level # wouldn't change meaning enemies would stay lower.
 
2011-12-13 05:48:09 PM
Counter_Intelligent: t3knomanser: I just never slept. There was one quest that required sleeping, so I did that one early. I capped my level at around 10.

You level up automatically in Skyrim. Sleep not required.


Actually you don't level up automatically. If you never touch the LEVEL UP arrow in your menu, you will stay at whatever lvl you're currently at and so will enemies. Now as soon as you hit the LEVEL UP icon you have to level all the way to your current one. I made that mistake when I was trying to power level my guy but wanted to keep him low until I had enough skill points. Accidentally went up and had to select "Magika, Health, Stamina" 27 times in a row.
 
2011-12-13 05:52:26 PM
scottydoesntknow: JesusGaveMuhammadAFacial: t3knomanser: Treygreen13: I suggest the PC mod to get rid of the leveling.

I just never slept. There was one quest that required sleeping, so I did that one early. I capped my level at around 10.

Huh?

In Oblivion the only way you could level up was sleeping in a bed. A lot of people basically played the game at lvl 5-15 because the enemies (and their gear) would scale with you, meaning if you went up too quickly (yay for jumping EVERYWHERE) you would end up screwed fairly quickly. By keeping your level low you made the enemies a lot easier. You could still do skill upgrades and all that, it's just your level # wouldn't change meaning enemies would stay lower.


I remember looking at the level-up tables and finding out that I had to have my guy swim until he hit level whatever in athletics, or whatever it was. It felt dumb having my guy just swim against a rock for 15 minutes.

Of course I did the same thing in Skyrim recently. Leveling up Heavy Armor was going so slow so I just found some Mudcrabs in a pond and let them do tiny little bits of damage to me for about an hour. Leveled Heavy Armor, Alteration, and Restoration pretty well there though.

I'm still not exactly sure how I have so many Sneak levels, considering my guy only sneaks up to encounters so he's not surprised. Then I'm running around banging everything with my axe and stealth be damned, nothing is going to kill me because I have 70 health potions and can chug them like a frat boy at a tailgate. I found a blood dragon the other day, hit Berserker Rage, and killed it before it was able to take off. That character is a little nuts.
 
2011-12-13 06:51:15 PM
Treygreen13: I'm still not exactly sure how I have so many Sneak levels

The fastest way to level sneak is with sneak attacks, but if you continually sneak to avoid surprises, it will gradually creep up from that as well.
 
2011-12-13 07:00:17 PM
raygundan: The fastest way to level sneak is with sneak attacks, but if you continually sneak to avoid surprises, it will gradually creep up from that as well.

Dagger + perk + dark brotherhood gloves = 30xs dagger damage. I love sneak attacks.
 
2011-12-13 07:15:24 PM
Is it me, or is alteration the new restoration in terms of "goddamn, how many times do I have to click click click to get a level up?"

And alchemy is pretty agonizingly slow to level, even with the thief stone activated.

BTW, have three toons I've made and none of them have gotten past meeting whats-her-face after killing the dragon in Kynesgrove. Too busy enjoying the sidequests and guild quests. Debating which one should get the nod to do the main quest ...

1. Orc warrior that decapitates everything in three 2-handed axe hits or uses dragon breath attacks for ranged;

2. Wood elf archer/thief/conjuror; weakest of the three in combat but a good challenge and break from the norm. Still freaked over an encounter with a Volikhar vampire in the level 20s and got my ass handed to me, even with a tank Lydia in plate armor and fire atronach.

3. Breton vampire 1-handed/magic-using assassin mold I've used since Daggerfall.
 
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