2. Eggnog: While your Aunt Edna's special homemade eggnog might be the toast of Christmas Day, it could also be harboring the nasty little pathogen salmonella. If you're making your own eggnog, use pasteurized egg products, the Food & Drug Administration recommends, or heat the eggnog to 160 degrees Fahrenheit to wipe out any potential for salmonella.

3. Undercooked poultry: Eggnog isn't the only culinary risk at Christmastime. Undercooked turkey can also be dangerous. So don't rely on a cheap pop-up thermometer. Invest in a good probe thermometer instead so that you can be certain your bird and stuffing are cooked to the U.S. Department of Agriculture recommended temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit.

Oh, fark you, Mother Nature Network. There is no need to dry out your poultry or eggs.

Like all other pathogens, salmonella has a thermal death curve that is dependent on both temperature and time. And yes, you get a 99.999% reduction in salmonella by heating the solution or tissue to 160 degrees for 5 seconds, but you get the same 99.999% reduction by heating it to 140 degrees for 8.6 minutes.

And that curve keeps going. Salmonella starts dying at 120 degrees. Here's time and temp for 99.9999% reduction in salmonella:


A medium rare chicken breast, done for an hour at 138 degrees, is delicious, juicy, and tender. It's the difference between a rare filet and a well done hockey puck.

Correction - bottom chart is 8D. 99.999999% reduction. You are safer at 140 degrees for half an hour than you are at 160 degrees for one second.

I used to be able to drink egg nog by the gallon, but starting a few years ago, very energetic reverse peristalsis whenever I taste the stuff.

Diogenes: Like people lacerating themselves with clamshell packaging?

Can opener (new window).

Christmas shoppers, annoying Christmas music and douches wearing scarves...that's what ruins Christmas.

This is silly. I've poisoned myself with salmonella repeatedly, it made me have a headache for a day. It was pretty bad. Undercooked chicken, my bad.

Eggs? You have got to be kidding me; eggs are harmless.

I've had the 'real deal' egg nog and found it's not as good as the knock off kind...

For those unfamiliar with the knock off kind...

One gallon of milk, one box of instant vanilla pudding mix, one container of kool-whip, mix in very large bowl, and refrigerate. Must be stirred up each time you drink.

Fattening as hell.

So what you're saying is that my cunning plan to give both sides of my wife's family food poisoning every Christmas won't work?

Well, if you're going to drink egg nog the way God intended, you put enough bourbon in it to kill children. Then you don't need to worry about salmonella.

Most of these food safety tips are pure bullshiat. The number one reason for food-bourne illnesses is a nasty kitchen. The second is processed foods and mass-production facilities that are run by illegal aliens, who can't understand the sanitary processes needed to keep food clean. The number three reason is that the USDA isn't doing its freakin' job, but allowing the food industry to police themselves.

I like 2 parts egg nog 1 part malt liquor. I call it nig nogg.

A candy cane snapping off while up the bung hole. Spending Christmas in the ER was no fun, let me tell you.

The shiat log can ruin your christmas if it shiats herring, which is too salty.
Link (new window)

10. Being Jewish

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I like 2 parts egg nog 1 part malt liquor. I call it nig nogg.

This thread should get interesting very soon

What article writer may look like:

Wellon Dowd: A candy cane snapping off while up the bung hole. Spending Christmas in the ER was no fun, let me tell you.

I like to think you just put a festive spin on "if it weren't for my horse, I'd have never spent that year in college."

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I like 2 parts egg nog 1 part malt liquor. I call it nig nogg.

My aunt Edna made her own eggnog and it almost certainly shortened her lifespan, a she barely made it to 101.

As for relying on the pop-up turkey thermometer, the only thing reliable is that once they've popped up, the turkey is overcooked and ruined.

Food Nazis are the worst of all kinds of Nazis.

Wellon Dowd: A candy cane snapping off while up the bung hole. Spending Christmas in the ER was no fun, let me tell you.

But didn't you feel as fresh and confident!?

JackieRabbit: Wellon Dowd: A candy cane snapping off while up the bung hole. Spending Christmas in the ER was no fun, let me tell you.

But didn't you feel as fresh and confident!?

Minty.

I tried making egg nog the old fashioned way a few weeks ago, just to see how it went. My conclusions:

-Messy
-Lots of dishes
-Not enough bourbon in the recipe

I still drank the entire pitcher by myself in the span of a weekend. No salmonella for me.

/Probably should've gone to the gym 26 minutes ago.

I've always operated under the theory that booze in egg nog will kill anything bad. Am I wrong?

Goimir: ftfy. Illegals just work there, and because they're illegal, they can't/won't report violations. They're smart enough to know that eating poop is bad for you, and that knives/surfaces should be washed more than once per shift.

A good fix, and true enough. Especially about the slave drivers. The illegals just want their money from the new white spic-massahs. They just do what they are told and don't ask questions. Questions get you out in the Home Depot parking lot looking for day work.

JackieRabbit: Well, if you're going to drink egg nog the way God intended, you put enough bourbon in it to kill children. Then you don't need to worry about salmonella.

Better safe than sorry. Rinse your digestive tract with extra bourbon before and after consuming egg nog.

bluefoxicy: This is silly. I've poisoned myself with salmonella repeatedly, it made me have a headache for a day. It was pretty bad. Undercooked chicken, my bad.

Eggs? You have got to be kidding me; eggs are harmless.

Exactly I poisoned myself with Ebola, best diet plan ever. You have to try it I lost 100 pounds in under a week.

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I like 2 parts egg nog 1 part malt liquor. I call it nig nogg.

Thought that was vodak and watermelon juice....

/ window seat please
// away from the bratty kid in the post above mine tho

Wellon Dowd: A candy cane snapping off while up the bung hole. Spending Christmas in the ER was no fun, let me tell you.

I'm sitting here at my desk, just gnawing away on a candy cane. Thanks for ruining it for me fella.

/sour apple

i.r.id10t: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I like 2 parts egg nog 1 part malt liquor. I call it nig nogg.

Thought that was vodak and watermelon juice....

/ window seat please
// away from the bratty kid in the post above mine tho

What!? That's offensive. I call it nig nogg because its my Uncle Nigel's recipe. Sheesh.

i.r.id10t: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I like 2 parts egg nog 1 part malt liquor. I call it nig nogg.

Thought that was vodak and watermelon juice....

/ window seat please
// away from the bratty kid in the post above mine tho

Seat in the back of the bus?

JackieRabbit: Well, if you're going to drink egg nog the way God intended, you put enough bourbon in it to kill children. Then you don't need to worry about salmonella.

This. Make your own egg nog from scratch, then add an equal part of Jack Daniels. Then fall asleep on the couch.

baronvonzipper: Wellon Dowd: A candy cane snapping off while up the bung hole. Spending Christmas in the ER was no fun, let me tell you.

I'm sitting here at my desk, just gnawing away on a candy cane. Thanks for ruining it for me fella.

/sour apple

Sour apple, eh? That'll make your mouth pucker up like....well...

When you check for chimney clogs, keep in mind what's clogging it might not be leaves and debris:

Wellon Dowd: A candy cane snapping off while up the bung hole.

Festive.

Theaetetus: 2. Eggnog: While your Aunt Edna's special homemade eggnog might be the toast of Christmas Day, it could also be harboring the nasty little pathogen salmonella. If you're making your own eggnog, use pasteurized egg products, the Food & Drug Administration recommends, or heat the eggnog to 160 degrees Fahrenheit to wipe out any potential for salmonella.

3. Undercooked poultry: Eggnog isn't the only culinary risk at Christmastime. Undercooked turkey can also be dangerous. So don't rely on a cheap pop-up thermometer. Invest in a good probe thermometer instead so that you can be certain your bird and stuffing are cooked to the U.S. Department of Agriculture recommended temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit.

Oh, fark you, Mother Nature Network. There is no need to dry out your poultry or eggs.
[www.hi-tm.com image 640x399]
Like all other pathogens, salmonella has a thermal death curve that is dependent on both temperature and time. And yes, you get a 99.999% reduction in salmonella by heating the solution or tissue to 160 degrees for 5 seconds, but you get the same 99.999% reduction by heating it to 140 degrees for 8.6 minutes.

And that curve keeps going. Salmonella starts dying at 120 degrees. Here's time and temp for 99.9999% reduction in salmonella:
[www.cookingsousvide.com image 431x290]

A medium rare chicken breast, done for an hour at 138 degrees, is delicious, juicy, and tender. It's the difference between a rare filet and a well done hockey puck.

Don't forget pH.

Oh gawd, we made egg nog two years ago, but didn't put any brandy in because too many family members are alcoholics (we have no problem, not related to them).
Turns out that brandy is what kills the salmonella. Yeah, it was 24 hours of pure hell after Christmas Day.... never forget it.

Atheist libs missing. The list is fail.

Stuff you friend's and family members' stockings with this. And enjoy Christmas while you can. Unless America can finally start to fight for itself and get Hussein out the office, the Christmas we know and love will soon be a memory.

/scary times

gunga galunga: Atheist libs missing. The list is fail.

Stuff you friend's and family members' stockings with this. And enjoy Christmas while you can. Unless America can finally start to fight for itself and get Hussein out the office, the Christmas we know and love will soon be a memory.

/scary times

Shut up.

Theaetetus: A medium rare chicken breast, done for an hour at 138 degrees, is delicious, juicy, and tender. It's the difference between a rare filet and a well done hockey puck.

Medium rare chicken breast? I've heard of practically every meat being served at various stages of doneness except chicken...chicken can obviously be overcooked, but I've never heard of a taste benefit to undercooking it.

undercooked chicken tastes friggin' nasty if you ask me, and this is coming from someone that likes his beef and others with a little blood showing...

Jake Havechek: gunga galunga: Atheist libs missing. The list is fail.

Stuff you friend's and family members' stockings with this. And enjoy Christmas while you can. Unless America can finally start to fight for itself and get Hussein out the office, the Christmas we know and love will soon be a memory.

/scary times

Shut up.

Afraid of the truth getting out, eh?

ihatedumbpeople: Theaetetus: A medium rare chicken breast, done for an hour at 138 degrees, is delicious, juicy, and tender. It's the difference between a rare filet and a well done hockey puck.

Medium rare chicken breast? I've heard of practically every meat being served at various stages of doneness except chicken...chicken can obviously be overcooked, but I've never heard of a taste benefit to undercooking it.

undercooked chicken tastes friggin' nasty if you ask me, and this is coming from someone that likes his beef and others with a little blood showing...

I think he was talking about the consistency of the chicken, not its done-ness, but I could be wrong.

Dripdry: Oh gawd, we made egg nog two years ago, but didn't put any brandy in because too many family members are alcoholics (we have no problem, not related to them).
Turns out that brandy is what kills the salmonella. Yeah, it was 24 hours of pure hell after Christmas Day.... never forget it.

They can pasteurize eggs in the shell. Or something like that.

gunga galunga: Jake Havechek: gunga galunga: Atheist libs missing. The list is fail.

Stuff you friend's and family members' stockings with this. And enjoy Christmas while you can. Unless America can finally start to fight for itself and get Hussein out the office, the Christmas we know and love will soon be a memory.

/scary times

Shut up.

Afraid of the truth getting out, eh?

No, afraid of this becoming a politcal thread instead of good, honest biatching about family members and salmonella...specifically how family members seem to keep NOT getting salmonella.

/my eggnog recipe has rum and bourbon, it's double safe!
//don't actually want to food poison my in laws, I kinda like most of them

ihatedumbpeople: Theaetetus: A medium rare chicken breast, done for an hour at 138 degrees, is delicious, juicy, and tender. It's the difference between a rare filet and a well done hockey puck.

Medium rare chicken breast? I've heard of practically every meat being served at various stages of doneness except chicken...chicken can obviously be overcooked, but I've never heard of a taste benefit to undercooking it.

undercooked chicken tastes friggin' nasty if you ask me, and this is coming from someone that likes his beef and others with a little blood showing...

Undercooked as in raw, sure. And the texture is pretty bleh, too. But cooked properly for a long time at a low temperature gets you tender and juicy chicken.
This is 137 degrees for two hours:

We're not talking raw chicken, but rather a nice medium rare.

Compare that to a typical well-done chicken breast:

See the texture change and the separation between fibers? That's due to collagen shrinkage, and results in it being chewier and drier.

gunga galunga: Atheist libs missing. The list is fail.

Stuff you friend's and family members' stockings with this. And enjoy Christmas while you can. Unless America can finally start to fight for itself and get Hussein out the office, the Christmas we know and love will soon be a memory.

/scary times

Hussien has been dead for some time now, so I have no idea what you are talking about.

Sir_Dude:
So I think the higher proof alcohol must kill those salmonella bacteria thingies, too.

/those mason jars could have been used as Molotov cocktails.

It's only high proof in concentration. Take 40% ABV (80 proof, by US system) rum and add an equal volume of water and it's now 20% ABV (40p). Pour 8 ounces of rum into a gallon of egg nog (128oz) and you've diluted it 16 times, 2.5% ABV, and the bacteria will consume the alcohol as a food source.

It has to be above 8%.