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(Time)   New study says cremations are hot, burials are dying   (moneyland.time.com) divider line 166
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3464 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Dec 2011 at 4:24 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-12-12 11:56:07 PM
Just like the lottery is a tax on the poor, burials are a tax on the religious.
 
2011-12-13 01:19:52 AM
You know, if I had to be cremated, I think I would opt for the pyre cremation, but with my legs fixed to the pyre. When a body burns, the heat causes tendons to contract and I want to be arranged in such a way that when my tendons contract, it'll look like I am sitting up. Want to freak out the attendees.

/This happened while they were cremating the body of Rasputin. After he was poisoned, shot, beaten and stabbed and thrown into a river to drown, his murderers came back to burn the body to be sure that he was dead. Midway through the cremation, the corpse sat up, scaring many of the conspirators to his murder away.
 
2011-12-13 02:06:40 AM
I don't understand why anyone would want to go into the cemetery business.

Once the plot has been sold, where's the future income coming from? And yet the cemetery owner has a perpetuity of upkeep to pay for.

/And why can't people spell "cemetery" correctly? It's not "cemetary," dammit.
 
2011-12-13 02:26:00 AM
Actually, cremations, IMO, seem to make more sense.
Regular burials cram your slowly rotting corpse into the ground, in an over priced coffin, shot full of toxic fluids to slow down the process of decay. In most cemeteries, you can't have a tombstone, just a ground level brass plaque -- to make it cheaper and easier for the groundskeepers to mow the grass. There you'll remain until your relatives forget about you, or the owners decide to sell the place or just abandon it. Then you might get dug up and moved to another place by folks who don't actually give a shiat if they get all of you or not.

In some cases, you might just get paved over.

Burials get more expensive as land becomes harder to find for such usage around cities and the more folks that get buried take up even more land.

The last time I checked a cremation cost about $2500. A burial was $6000 and up.

A lot of folks take the cremains to the loved one's favorite place and dispose of them there, scattering the ashes where weather makes short work of them. A lot of places also do not allow such disposal for obvious reasons.

Some places have memorial gardens where you may spread the ashes.

Some businesses will allow you to place the remains in cement forms, such as those used for artificial reefs. One company, for a huge price, will shoot you into space -- but only a couple of ounces of you. Plus, you go into orbit and after a few years, return to Earth to burn up in the atmosphere.

Personally, if I could get shot into space, I'd prefer that. All of me and not just into orbit, but headed out into deep space. Heck, I dreamed nearly all of my life about getting into space, but Congress squashed that with massive budget cuts. Getting shot into space by a private company as a pile of ashes seems the only way now. But the cost is hideous.

I'll probably ask my survivors to dispose of my ashes somewhere nice -- and probably not here in Florida. I've dreamed of visiting places like the Painted Desert, but will never get there either. I might request that my ashes get scattered someplace like that.

Besides, I've seen far too many bodies dug up after burial or found after a couple of weeks to want to be reduced to people jerky or a mass of stinking goo.

Those grave liners they poke you in these days don't always keep the water out. So, you get to slowly rot in basically a septic tank 6 feet down, and your casket will not remain watertight forever.

Cremation seems a lot nicer.

I mean look at many of the Egyptian tombs. Sealed up thousands of years ago and archeologists still often had to dig their way through sand clogged passages.
 
2011-12-13 03:07:28 AM
You can have your ashes sent to these guys (new window), and they'll turn it into a big-ass firework.

That's what I want. There will be lots of "Here, hold my beer and watch this."
 
2011-12-13 03:51:03 AM

Rik01: Actually, cremations, IMO, seem to make more sense.
Regular burials cram your slowly rotting corpse into the ground, in an over priced coffin, shot full of toxic fluids to slow down the process of decay. In most cemeteries, you can't have a tombstone, just a ground level brass plaque -- to make it cheaper and easier for the groundskeepers to mow the grass. There you'll remain until your relatives forget about you, or the owners decide to sell the place or just abandon it. Then you might get dug up and moved to another place by folks who don't actually give a shiat if they get all of you or not.

In some cases, you might just get paved over.

Burials get more expensive as land becomes harder to find for such usage around cities and the more folks that get buried take up even more land.

The last time I checked a cremation cost about $2500. A burial was $6000 and up.

A lot of folks take the cremains to the loved one's favorite place and dispose of them there, scattering the ashes where weather makes short work of them. A lot of places also do not allow such disposal for obvious reasons.

Some places have memorial gardens where you may spread the ashes.

Some businesses will allow you to place the remains in cement forms, such as those used for artificial reefs. One company, for a huge price, will shoot you into space -- but only a couple of ounces of you. Plus, you go into orbit and after a few years, return to Earth to burn up in the atmosphere.

Personally, if I could get shot into space, I'd prefer that. All of me and not just into orbit, but headed out into deep space. Heck, I dreamed nearly all of my life about getting into space, but Congress squashed that with massive budget cuts. Getting shot into space by a private company as a pile of ashes seems the only way now. But the cost is hideous.

I'll probably ask my survivors to dispose of my ashes somewhere nice -- and probably not here in Florida. I've dreamed of visiting places like the Painted Desert, but will never get there either. I might request that my ashes get scattered someplace like that.

Besides, I've seen far too many bodies dug up after burial or found after a couple of weeks to want to be reduced to people jerky or a mass of stinking goo.

Those grave liners they poke you in these days don't always keep the water out. So, you get to slowly rot in basically a septic tank 6 feet down, and your casket will not remain watertight forever.

Cremation seems a lot nicer.

I mean look at many of the Egyptian tombs. Sealed up thousands of years ago and archeologists still often had to dig their way through sand clogged passages.


When my uncle died, his wishes where to be cremated and scattered over the San Dimas in New Mexico. My grandpa wanted him in a family plot, along with a service.

Since the kids had no money, and my grandparents were paying for it, he got a service. But my grandma cremated him, half went in the ground, the other with the kids back to New Mexico. Not sure what they did with him. But one of the kids lost his mom three weeks later.

I shouldn't say kids, they are my cousins
 
2011-12-13 04:29:25 AM
my grave is paid for
 
2011-12-13 04:35:19 AM
As far as i'm concerned once i die you can just throw me in a ditch, what would i care i'm dead. If family members what to spend extra money placing me in the ground and buying a coffin that is their decision not mine.
 
2011-12-13 04:36:19 AM
Lets go hang out with gramma's skeleton, kids! oh- ok, mom.
 
2011-12-13 04:39:26 AM

Rik01: Personally, if I could get shot into space, I'd prefer that


Same here. Last month I actually sat down and figured out what I wanted my family/loved ones to do should I die unexpectedly (a friend died in a car crash this summer, makes you think) and I decided on cremation. Being sent into space is ideal, but I doubt my family could afford it. Being spread around my grandfather's old farm where I used to play, catch butterflies and grasshoppers as a kid and stargaze at night is the plan so far.

Although, and I know this is stupid, there's a curious part of me that wants to somehow have some small amount of my DNA frozen or kept in stasis just in case. Since I don't believe in an afterlife I don't think I'll be up somewhere, watching the world go by and I'm really curious as to what humanity will look like in say, 10,000 years. I figure by then they'll have the technology to clone me (somehow with all my current memories and personality intact) so I can get to see what we've been up to all that time.

*sigh* I wish I could live a few more hundred years. I'm not afraid of dying...I just want to see what will happen. So much has changed in just the last 100 years, I can't even begin to imagine what will happen in the next few hundred.

So yeah, cremation. Minus a cell or two in someone's deep freezer......just in case.
 
2011-12-13 04:44:25 AM

Britney Spear's Speculum: Just like the lottery is a tax on the poor, burials are a tax on the religiousemotionally vulnerable.

 
2011-12-13 04:49:38 AM
All of you cremation types are forgetting one little detail. Judgement Day! I don't know about you, but I don't want to spend eternity as a resurrected pile of ash.

www.magma.ca
 
2011-12-13 04:52:36 AM
I want to be cremated and placed in a Mason jar. Then I have asked my friends to build a trebuchet to launch my jar of ashes into a large body of water.
 
2011-12-13 04:57:15 AM
dead is dead
the rest is ego
 
2011-12-13 04:58:40 AM

I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: I don't understand why anyone would want to go into the cemetery business.

Once the plot has been sold, where's the future income coming from? And yet the cemetery owner has a perpetuity of upkeep to pay for.

/And why can't people spell "cemetery" correctly? It's not "cemetary," dammit.


That's why I plan to be cremated. Do you think once all those burial plots are sold and there's no more money coming in that anyone is gunna give a shiat about upkeep?

Not only that but I watch National Geographic. I don't want some dip-shiat digging up my remains in 1000 years and running all kinds of tests on my damn bones.

Cremate me and spread my ashes someplace nice.
 
2011-12-13 04:59:26 AM
Mix my ashes with weed and pass out joints to every stripper in Chicago.
/So all of them would have a little bit of me in their mouth.
 
2011-12-13 05:00:40 AM

miss diminutive: Rik01: Personally, if I could get shot into space, I'd prefer that

Same here. Last month I actually sat down and figured out what I wanted my family/loved ones to do should I die unexpectedly (a friend died in a car crash this summer, makes you think) and I decided on cremation. Being sent into space is ideal, but I doubt my family could afford it. Being spread around my grandfather's old farm where I used to play, catch butterflies and grasshoppers as a kid and stargaze at night is the plan so far.

Although, and I know this is stupid, there's a curious part of me that wants to somehow have some small amount of my DNA frozen or kept in stasis just in case. Since I don't believe in an afterlife I don't think I'll be up somewhere, watching the world go by and I'm really curious as to what humanity will look like in say, 10,000 years. I figure by then they'll have the technology to clone me (somehow with all my current memories and personality intact) so I can get to see what we've been up to all that time.

*sigh* I wish I could live a few more hundred years. I'm not afraid of dying...I just want to see what will happen. So much has changed in just the last 100 years, I can't even begin to imagine what will happen in the next few hundred.

So yeah, cremation. Minus a cell or two in someone's deep freezer......just in case.


It won't be you. Just a clone of you. You are thinking more of uploading your conscience to a computer, which is a safer bet.
 
2011-12-13 05:01:54 AM
I've always wanted to be cremated, even when it wasn't popular. The thought of bugs eating my decaying mushy flesh makes me gag.
 
2011-12-13 05:02:08 AM

miss diminutive: I figure by then they'll have the technology to clone me (somehow with all my current memories and personality intact) so I can get to see what we've been up to all that time.



I know this is a popular sci-fi plot theme of clones having the memories but that ain't happening. Your DNA doesn't have your memories.

I think the better possibility is that there will be a neuron scanner that can copy the contents of your brain and store it. Then, you clone yourself to a fully mature state and then copy the contents of your old brain back to the new body. Or copy your brain to a robot or a brain emulator.

Maybe you can get some CPU time and get to live a few hours a year to check what the world has been up to.

But, not in our lifetimes anyway.
 
2011-12-13 05:02:24 AM

Rik01: The last time I checked a cremation cost about $2500. A burial was $6000 and up.



Unless you want some fancy urn, a basic cremation with your ashes put in a cardboard box only runs about $750.
 
2011-12-13 05:09:22 AM

mr0x: I think the better possibility is that there will be a neuron scanner that can copy the contents of your brain and store it. Then, you clone yourself to a fully mature state and then copy the contents of your old brain back to the new body.


Except the cloned body won't have a brain that has grown and built neurons in response to the life you have led.
Never mind how to copy the stuff back in, it wouldn't be able to receive it.
 
2011-12-13 05:10:04 AM

RexTalionis: You know, if I had to be cremated, I think I would opt for the pyre cremation, but with my legs fixed to the pyre. When a body burns, the heat causes tendons to contract and I want to be arranged in such a way that when my tendons contract, it'll look like I am sitting up. Want to freak out the attendees.


Do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to so I can get more information? This sounds most intruiging to someone of my... disposition.
 
2011-12-13 05:10:15 AM

I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: I don't understand why anyone would want to go into the cemetery business.

Once the plot has been sold, where's the future income coming from? And yet the cemetery owner has a perpetuity of upkeep to pay for.

/And why can't people spell "cemetery" correctly? It's not "cemetary," dammit.


there is a fark load of money to be made. locate slightly rural undeveloped acreage on the cheap that can be zoned. scoff it, have professional artist renditions prepared of what the place will look like in years to come ("proposed"). pre-sell the shiat out of the plots. maybe the artists fancy walkways and statues will never come to fruition but you made your coin. and there is nothing new about long abandoned and/or long forgotten cemeteries just falling to the wayside. eventually everyone involved is dead so it's a wash.

make even more $$$ by niche marketing your pre-sells. birds of a feather blah blah blah. double the prices, make it a gay only rest spot, or Asian only, you name it. cater to living idiots prejudices and hates = money in teh bank.
 
2011-12-13 05:13:38 AM
When I was younger , the thought of cremation scared me for some reason (wtf- I'll be dead anyway, how will a little fire hurt me?).

When my father died in 2006 he was cremated and my stepmother asked all of us if we wanted to keep some of his ashes. I did, and my brother and aunt did, and she wanted to keep some as well. She went out and bought a few really gorgeous containers and we split Dad up. I keep his ashes on a shelf in my library room next to my classic movie DVDs (he was a film critic) She also had some buried with his parents out at the traditional family cemetary, and his friend Sharky took some up to Athens Ohio and scattered them on the baseball field at OU (where Dad umpired many college baseball tournies).

I just think that is a pretty cool way to go now and I like the idea that whoever wants to have a piece of me for eternity can.

Plus the thought of lying in the ground with groundwater seeping in as I slowly rot and the bugs descend is seriously gross.

The fireworks guy has the right idea!!
 
2011-12-13 05:16:17 AM

ReapTheChaos: I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: I don't understand why anyone would want to go into the cemetery business.

Once the plot has been sold, where's the future income coming from? And yet the cemetery owner has a perpetuity of upkeep to pay for.

/And why can't people spell "cemetery" correctly? It's not "cemetary," dammit.

That's why I plan to be cremated. Do you think once all those burial plots are sold and there's no more money coming in that anyone is gunna give a shiat about upkeep?

Not only that but I watch National Geographic. I don't want some dip-shiat digging up my remains in 1000 years and running all kinds of tests on my damn bones.

Cremate me and spread my ashes someplace nice.


Speaking of which, back in the days when I was a Naval Officer, some poor deceased sap was cremated and wanted his ashes spread over the Hawaiian waters. We were on our way to the Persian Gulf and so our ship was tasked with performing the ceremony.

Everything was going smoothly during the ceremony on the flight deck until it came to pouring the ashes into the Pacific ocean.... just as the Boatswain's Mate opened the urn and started pouring the ashes off the fantail, the winds suddenly shifted and blew most all of the ashes back into the faces of everyone standing on the flight deck.

/CSB
 
2011-12-13 05:16:47 AM
I'd prefer my relatives just take my body up into the hills where most of my fondest memories have happened, and leave me to be devoured by wolves, coyotes, mountain lions, and flies. It would only be as expensive as the gas to drive up there, but I'm sure there would be problems with improper disposal of human remains. If that's the case, I'd like to be cremated and my ashes spread along one of the trails. I'm not religious and there's no reason my corpse needs to take up a three foot wide, seven foot long, and six foot deep plot of land. All it's going to do is cost my family a shiatload of money and waste space.
 
2011-12-13 05:19:47 AM

Vern: I'd prefer my relatives just take my body up into the hills where most of my fondest memories have happened, and leave me to be devoured by wolves, coyotes, mountain lions, and flies. It would only be as expensive as the gas to drive up there, but I'm sure there would be problems with improper disposal of human remains. If that's the case, I'd like to be cremated and my ashes spread along one of the trails. I'm not religious and there's no reason my corpse needs to take up a three foot wide, seven foot long, and six foot deep plot of land. All it's going to do is cost my family a shiatload of money and waste space.


It's been done.

sky burial (new window)
 
2011-12-13 05:25:40 AM
Well, for me I initially wanted to go into a box with a wind-up crank on the side (closed coffin) and whoever spins the crank, the lid opens and I pop up! Financially, not realistic, so I'm going with cremation with the request that I'm mixed with vinegar and water and make a second trip through the womb.
 
2011-12-13 05:25:52 AM

RexTalionis: You know, if I had to be cremated, I think I would opt for the pyre cremation, but with my legs fixed to the pyre. When a body burns, the heat causes tendons to contract and I want to be arranged in such a way that when my tendons contract, it'll look like I am sitting up. Want to freak out the attendees.

/This happened while they were cremating the body of Rasputin. After he was poisoned, shot, beaten and stabbed and thrown into a river to drown, his murderers came back to burn the body to be sure that he was dead. Midway through the cremation, the corpse sat up, scaring many of the conspirators to his murder away.


Not sure how "accurate" this is, but a friend of mine's father was a Funeral Director and had once told him a client had passed sitting up / slumped forward. They wire the back/spine down somehow to hold them straight/flat (this is why I say "accurate" because I thought rigor left the body after so long, but whatever). Apparently during the actual funeral, something broke loose and with nothing to hold him down straight, he sat up in the coffin - CLEARED the place in an instant leaving behind broken chairs, purses, etc... even a shoe.

/maybe someone here is into Necrophilia (lol) or whatever and knows if rigor does leave the body after so long (before a funeral would take place)
 
2011-12-13 05:27:02 AM
Roast 'em, tenderize 'em, down they go.
 
2011-12-13 05:44:53 AM

Jadedgrl: I've always wanted to be cremated, even when it wasn't popular. The thought of bugs eating my decaying mushy flesh makes me gag.


Same here. When I scattered my son's ashes I decided I want mine scattered in the same place, but I've always known I wanted to be cremated. I don't see any reason to pay more just to take up space that could be used for something else. Plus I'm always cold, so the thought of permanently being in the (frequently frozen) ground is offputting, even though I know that doesn't really make sense.
 
2011-12-13 06:04:33 AM

mr0x: miss diminutive: I figure by then they'll have the technology to clone me (somehow with all my current memories and personality intact) so I can get to see what we've been up to all that time.

I know this is a popular sci-fi plot theme of clones having the memories but that ain't happening. Your DNA doesn't have your memories.

I think the better possibility is that there will be a neuron scanner that can copy the contents of your brain and store it. Then, you clone yourself to a fully mature state and then copy the contents of your old brain back to the new body. Or copy your brain to a robot or a brain emulator.

Maybe you can get some CPU time and get to live a few hours a year to check what the world has been up to.

But, not in our lifetimes anyway.


I know that DNA doesn't store memories, but I'm operating on the assumption that science will continue to develop at it's current rate. As of right now we know DNA doesn't store memories but there was a time when we used to know that the Earth was flat and that he world was made up of 4 main elements. Our technology would be considered essentially impossible magic to someone living one thousand years ago so I'm assuming science will be able to do magical things 1000 years in the future.

It's stupid, I know. But who cares, I'll be dead anyway. It's not like I'll be aware that the Earth went to shiat and the morlocks essentially took over and diverted energy away from the little cryofreezer holding my cells.
 
2011-12-13 06:09:30 AM
I've told my family I want to be cremated. I know it's next to impossible with embalming techniques nowadays, but I am terrified of being buried alive. The firework idea sounds awesome!

TheMega's story reminded of one my 8th grade science teacher told the class. He had a uncle who had kyphosis of the spine and the embalmer was unable to remove all the air from the lungs. He told the family that the air may escape and it would be a slight hissing sound, if and when it did.

Fast forward to the final walk around before the closing, and two little old ladies were in front of the casket.The air chose that moment to release...and it wasn't a slight hissing, it was a loud moan. Looks of horror and two little old ladies passing out.
 
2011-12-13 06:13:15 AM
Not Jewish, but i could go for a natural burial. No Box, no chemicals, no cement case, just toss me in a linen bag, throw me in the ground and plant a tree on me. I think i would like to be part of a tree.
 
2011-12-13 06:19:58 AM
Personally I want an open air burial. Put me on a little lattice out in the woods with some of my favorite toys up there with me and let the critters have at me. I have eaten more than my share of them while alive, it's only fair they get their turn.
 
2011-12-13 06:24:13 AM
I want to be buried at sea mafia-style
 
2011-12-13 06:26:30 AM

miss diminutive: mr0x: miss diminutive: I figure by then they'll have the technology to clone me (somehow with all my current memories and personality intact) so I can get to see what we've been up to all that time.

I know this is a popular sci-fi plot theme of clones having the memories but that ain't happening. Your DNA doesn't have your memories.

I think the better possibility is that there will be a neuron scanner that can copy the contents of your brain and store it. Then, you clone yourself to a fully mature state and then copy the contents of your old brain back to the new body. Or copy your brain to a robot or a brain emulator.

Maybe you can get some CPU time and get to live a few hours a year to check what the world has been up to.

But, not in our lifetimes anyway.

I know that DNA doesn't store memories, but I'm operating on the assumption that science will continue to develop at it's current rate. As of right now we know DNA doesn't store memories but there was a time when we used to know that the Earth was flat and that he world was made up of 4 main elements. Our technology would be considered essentially impossible magic to someone living one thousand years ago so I'm assuming science will be able to do magical things 1000 years in the future.

It's stupid, I know. But who cares, I'll be dead anyway. It's not like I'll be aware that the Earth went to shiat and the morlocks essentially took over and diverted energy away from the little cryofreezer holding my cells.


In that case, can I have your stuff?
 
2011-12-13 06:43:10 AM
I want buried in nothing. No casket, no vault, feed me to worms. I know that's not legal everywhere.
 
2011-12-13 06:50:57 AM
I read the other day that the number of bodies donated to science has increased dramatically of late because it's even cheaper than cremation (which isn't actually a lot cheaper then burial).

Does anybody know why I have to buy an expensive coffin for cremation? Can't I rent or use a cardboard box?
 
2011-12-13 06:51:38 AM

TheMega: RexTalionis: You know, if I had to be cremated, I think I would opt for the pyre cremation, but with my legs fixed to the pyre. When a body burns, the heat causes tendons to contract and I want to be arranged in such a way that when my tendons contract, it'll look like I am sitting up. Want to freak out the attendees.

/This happened while they were cremating the body of Rasputin. After he was poisoned, shot, beaten and stabbed and thrown into a river to drown, his murderers came back to burn the body to be sure that he was dead. Midway through the cremation, the corpse sat up, scaring many of the conspirators to his murder away.

Not sure how "accurate" this is, but a friend of mine's father was a Funeral Director and had once told him a client had passed sitting up / slumped forward. They wire the back/spine down somehow to hold them straight/flat (this is why I say "accurate" because I thought rigor left the body after so long, but whatever). Apparently during the actual funeral, something broke loose and with nothing to hold him down straight, he sat up in the coffin - CLEARED the place in an instant leaving behind broken chairs, purses, etc... even a shoe.

/maybe someone here is into Necrophilia (lol) or whatever and knows if rigor does leave the body after so long (before a funeral would take place)


While rigor mortis can last up to three days, the embalming (assuming that had been done, most of the time it is) would have lessened it at least, and by the funeral it would have totally disappeared.

He was probably telling a goofy story to his son, your friend, the way my mom told me about having to physically beat a screaming lobster into a boiling pot at a Korean restaurant back in her day.

I haven't put too much thought into what I'd want done when I die, cremation for sure but other than that I can't say I care what my surviving family does with them. If my husband dies before me, I'll hold onto his cremains and have some pressed into a blue diamond to replace the center stone in my wedding ring. The stone is already blue so it wouldn't be out of place.

I've also heard of the fireworks one, in fact one guy I dated, his grandfather died in Thailand and that's what his grandmother and parents did with his ashes. I've also heard of having them put into clay and worked into something like a sculpture or even a flute.
 
2011-12-13 06:56:26 AM

Matthew Keene: All of you cremation types are forgetting one little detail. Judgement Day! I don't know about you, but I don't want to spend eternity as a resurrected pile of ash.


By your logic anybody who died in a car accident would be brought back all mangled, soldiers would have exit wounds in their faces, etc.

Does it really work that way? Kinda like how ghosts wear clothes. Cool!
 
2011-12-13 06:57:43 AM

Joce678: I read the other day that the number of bodies donated to science has increased dramatically of late because it's even cheaper than cremation (which isn't actually a lot cheaper then burial).

Does anybody know why I have to buy an expensive coffin for cremation? Can't I rent or use a cardboard box?


You don't. If a funeral director is telling you that, they're lying to get you to pay more. Embalming also isn't legally required unless the body is to be shipped across state lines. In fact I believe it's illegal for them to lie about these, but of course any funeral director who has no qualms about lying for money won't tell you that and won't expect someone grieving to know or ask.

I'd recommend readingthis book (new window) if you''re curious about the funeral industry and the various ways they may try to squeeze more money out of you.
 
2011-12-13 07:10:23 AM
I want to be minced in a giant mincing machine after death. Then made into some sort of sausages and displayed in a polystyrene tray at the funeral. With saran. And a little memorial barcode.
 
2011-12-13 07:12:14 AM
CSB:
I'd never understood the point of a burial, so when I hit 13 and became a "rebellious" teenager, I told my family that I didn't want to be buried like my great-grandparents who had recently died, I wanted to be cremated and used as fertilizer. My mother and much of my family was appropriately shocked (as intended); my father just said there wouldn't be enough to use as fertilizer. A few years later, my grandmother spread my grandfather's ashes on a rose bush since he always bought her roses. Once again, much of my family was taken aback, but I learned the valuable lesson that any "rebellion" has already been done, probably better, by others.
/CSB

I still want to be cremated and have my ashes dumped out. The firework thing sounds pretty cool, though, I could go for that. Go out with a whimper, eh? I'll show them!
 
2011-12-13 07:12:21 AM
I'm glad to see someone else has heard of Tibetan sky Burials. I think that is just awesome in a morbid kinda way. I read about it about 20 years ago and told my husband that is what I wanted for my funeral.

"Since we don't have the money to ship your carcass to Tibet to be eaten by Vultures, how about I fling it in the back yard and see if the local birds eat it up."

"I'm good with that."
 
2011-12-13 07:16:16 AM
"Golf courses and cemeteries, biggest wastes of land there is".

t2.gstatic.com
 
2011-12-13 07:16:19 AM

Shirley Ujest: I'm glad to see someone else has heard of Tibetan sky Burials. I think that is just awesome in a morbid kinda way. I read about it about 20 years ago and told my husband that is what I wanted for my funeral.

"Since we don't have the money to ship your carcass to Tibet to be eaten by Vultures, how about I fling it in the back yard and see if the local birds eat it up."

"I'm good with that."


If he's willing to build a Tower of Silence to put your bones in after the birds are done, he's a keeper.
 
2011-12-13 07:20:12 AM
I find it hard to believe there are still that many viking ships around.
 
2011-12-13 07:28:09 AM
I want to be properly buried, so that one day I'll be a part of the foundation of someones house in a tacky development.

img.ezinemark.com

/watch a little tv
//hang out with the neighbor kids
 
2011-12-13 07:43:01 AM

miss diminutive: mr0x: miss diminutive: I figure by then they'll have the technology to clone me (somehow with all my current memories and personality intact) so I can get to see what we've been up to all that time.

I know this is a popular sci-fi plot theme of clones having the memories but that ain't happening. Your DNA doesn't have your memories.

I think the better possibility is that there will be a neuron scanner that can copy the contents of your brain and store it. Then, you clone yourself to a fully mature state and then copy the contents of your old brain back to the new body. Or copy your brain to a robot or a brain emulator.

Maybe you can get some CPU time and get to live a few hours a year to check what the world has been up to.

But, not in our lifetimes anyway.

I know that DNA doesn't store memories, but I'm operating on the assumption that science will continue to develop at it's current rate. As of right now we know DNA doesn't store memories but there was a time when we used to know that the Earth was flat and that he world was made up of 4 main elements. Our technology would be considered essentially impossible magic to someone living one thousand years ago so I'm assuming science will be able to do magical things 1000 years in the future.

It's stupid, I know. But who cares, I'll be dead anyway. It's not like I'll be aware that the Earth went to shiat and the morlocks essentially took over and diverted energy away from the little cryofreezer holding my cells.


DNA storing memories is one of those things that are fairly demonstrably false, plus we know the real alternative (your memories are stored in the structure of your brain) so I wouldn't hold your breath on that. Science changes but our current understanding of things includes lots of easily testible and well understood things, unlike the flat earth ect "understanding"
 
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