Santa wanted some jolly for his jingles.

Dammit man, you said you were just gonna hustle big 'n tall!

You'll pass your ass out, kid!

Nothing more fun than a good ole fashion "German Rufie Holiday Passout Bend-Over".

The version they do in Milwaukee is a sad rip-off.

Maybe she'd been naughty this year

I can't read or hear the words 'Bad Santa' without thinking of Lauren Graham humping Billy Bob Thornton saying "Fark me, Santa, Fark me, Santa, Fark me, Santa!"

What's the article about now?

GAT_00:
I'm having a hard time mustering sympathy for a girl dumb enough to drink that.

What about sympathy for Santa?
Due to the economy Santa has to settle - he can't afford three hos..

elvisaintdead: she's not gonna sh*t right for a week.

aaaaannnnd thread.

Obviously, 10 people failed a stupidity test.

In his defense, has anyone met a fifteen-year-old girl they didn't want to drug when she was acting like a fifteen-year-old girl?

/teenagers shouldn't be in public unless they carry themselves like an adult

Not to judge, I know the German attutude toward alcohol is different than Americans, but is it common for people to give out alcohol samples to teenagers? Otherwise, she has to be just this side of brainless.

/Better stop her before she goes into the van marked "freie Süßigkeit"

GAT_00: At about 10 p.m. Saturday the suspect approached the girl and her friend at Berlin's downtown Alexanderplatz Christmas market, offering both of them what he said was a shot of alcohol in a paper cup, police said.

One girl refused, but the other girl drank both of the shots.

I'm having a hard time mustering sympathy for a girl dumb enough to drink that.

Why don't they have public service announcements warning women that some men are farking insane and drinking alcohol [or in this case unidentified beverages from complete and total strangers wtf] may inhibit your ability to defend yourself against them?

/wait for it

Jingo Ate Your Baby: GAT_00: At about 10 p.m. Saturday the suspect approached the girl and her friend at Berlin's downtown Alexanderplatz Christmas market, offering both of them what he said was a shot of alcohol in a paper cup, police said.

One girl refused, but the other girl drank both of the shots.

I'm having a hard time mustering sympathy for a girl dumb enough to drink that.

Why don't they have public service announcements warning women that some men are farking insane and drinking alcohol [or in this case unidentified beverages from complete and total strangers wtf] may inhibit your ability to defend yourself against them?

/wait for it

HEY! How dare you suggest that women are strong and independent and are unable to make decisions for themselves!

when it suits them

Must be a shot of the first kid

seriously? a random stranger comes up with a shot of alcohol and these people drink it? Don't get me wrong- this guy is pure evil and desperately needs some motherfarking justice done to him, but seriously, who is stupid enough these days to do that?

One girl refused, but the other girl drank both of the shots.

Well, now we know which one likes to party.

JackieRabbit: Obviously, 10 people failed a stupidity test.

This.

"Intense investigations are ongoing," Habedank said.

Now I'm picturing an entire precinct of officers tossing back shots and passing around midazolam tablets.

blahpers: One girl refused, but the other girl drank both of the shots.

Well, now we know which one likes to party.

Was she wearing a tuxedo t-shirt?

At about 10 p.m. Saturday the suspect approached the girl and her friend at Berlin's downtown Alexanderplatz Christmas market, offering both of them what he said was a shot of alcohol in a paper cup, police said.

Seems legit.

Is granny spry?

Do you want me to make you some sandwiches?

DROxINxTHExWIND: Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Santa rape is actually a form of clown rape.

I live in Germany right now (not Berlin though), but I'll keep to buying my glühwein directly from the stand.

/In cute little ceramic boots

Alexanderplatz is a tourist hellhole. Anyone drinking something given to them by a stranger there isn't terribly bright.

Hector Remarkable: Santa rape is actually a form of clown rape.

This did cause me to LA, or "Laugh Aloud", and for that, in these painful and difficult times, I thanks ye.

You better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better not pout,
I'm telling you why,
Santa Claus pulls down your panties.

He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you've been bad or good,
So be asleep for goodness sake!

Just imagine, you're out at a picturesque German Christmas market, a fat jolly man in a red suit hands you a free Schnapps, life doesn't get much better than this........... and then you wake up face-down on a dirty mattress being bum-raped by Father Christmas.

That's going to ruin the holiday season for several years.

/what's worse is that he only comes once a year, and when he does he fills your stockings

Schnapps, meine liebling?

Roofies the red-nosed reindeer?

and we should all remember santa is not our friend and he is watching you hahaha

Hector Remarkable: Santa rape is actually a form of clown rape.



Never take a drink or pill from this clown.

I'm dreaming of a white girl for Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to drug ...

I'll burn in hell for this