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		How is candy cane formed? (io9.com)		119
		More: Misc, Tis

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14425 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2011 at 3:10 PM | Favorite | share:

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119 Comments (+0 »)

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MasterThief

2011-12-12 03:12:30 PM

"Hideous Candy Log" will be the name of my next garage band.

Grapple

2011-12-12 03:13:55 PM

Come to Denver, watch them made right in front of you at Hammond's.

/candy porn

fappomatic

2011-12-12 03:14:35 PM

Don't they make it with kerosene and sulfuric acid?

X-Geek

2011-12-12 03:14:53 PM

The need to do way instain candy?

KiplingKat872

2011-12-12 03:15:16 PM

This stuff fascinates me now as much as it did when I was a kid.

Benucio

2011-12-12 03:15:32 PM

After watching that video, I still don't understand how they make 'em.

X-Geek

2011-12-12 03:15:57 PM

[TX-Geek: They need to do way instain candy?

FTFM

chaddsfarkprefect

2011-12-12 03:16:48 PM

It'a a little known fact that a candy cane represents the proverbial crook where Jesus is the shepherd.

/dunno, sounds plausible anyway

DSF6969

2011-12-12 03:17:10 PM

How is candy cane formed?

Well, when 2 bushels of sugar beats get together and hug REALLY tightly...

Lone Stranger

2011-12-12 03:18:20 PM

IN MY PANTS!

chaddsfarkprefect

2011-12-12 03:18:52 PM

FTFA: someone bent the top of the stick into a hook, to look like the shepherds' crooks from the Christmas story

RTFA is fundamental

joeflood

2011-12-12 03:19:34 PM

Lone Stranger: IN MY PANTS!

No. You can't do that here.

Lone Stranger

2011-12-12 03:21:18 PM

It rots your teeth.

assjuice

2011-12-12 03:21:36 PM

Uh, by a candy cane making machine?

jvl

2011-12-12 03:21:58 PM

Time was that science classes would have a lab in December where the students each made a Candy Cane. I guess that's gone out of fashion with other stuff like "bunsen burners", "releasing Sulfur Dioxide gas", and "interesting experiments."

/ Yells at cloud

cbackous

2011-12-12 03:22:49 PM

I use to like candy canes, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

Psycho Zombie Monkey

2011-12-12 03:22:49 PM

Candy Canes piss me off

Cannot explain, but it seems logical in my head

Porous Horace

2011-12-12 03:23:15 PM

That's a relief. I always assumed it was made in a manner similar to kopi luwak.

Le Geno Vert

2011-12-12 03:25:05 PM

but how is taffy pulled?

/waits

I Mash Grains

2011-12-12 03:26:28 PM

X-Geek: way instain

I just spent way too much farking time trying to figure what you wrote.

linker3000

2011-12-12 03:27:31 PM

Just sayin'

Mad Scientist

2011-12-12 03:32:11 PM

...the candy cane material isn't split up into little pieces or forced through a thin sieve but mushed together into a giant cylindrical log that can be the size of a human being's waist.

Speaking for myself, that's a LOT of candy.

brantgoose

2011-12-12 03:33:15 PM

I used to love sucking candy canes down to a deadly stiletto point.

Hee, hee, hee. The Perfect Christmas Seasonal Crime.

Eat the evidence.

The two types of Christmas candy I found most annoying were 1) ribbon candy in pieces larger than a child's fist and 2) barley candy toys. It was not humanly possible to eat either of them and if you give them to small children they will be found covered in fuzz around Easter.

One candy I do like at Christmas time is made by the Ganong in New Brunswick. It is a pink cinnamon confection called "Chicken Bones". It has bone-like candy exterior that like the real thing is prone to shattering into deadly pointed shards and a soft chocolate-like filling that sort of reminds you of bone marrow.

Come to think of it, Chicken Bones continue my theme of deadly weaponized Christmas Candy.

Have a Merry Christmas wondering if Santa's elves are armed with shrapnel bombs made of peppermint and cinnamon candy. (They are.)

Santa's ready for the naughty boys and girls.

Salmon

2011-12-12 03:34:18 PM

they had me at "log"

X-Geek

2011-12-12 03:34:33 PM

I Mash Grains: X-Geek: way instain

I just spent way too much farking time trying to figure what you wrote.

Here you go: Link (new window) - thought it was common knowledge.

jake3988

2011-12-12 03:35:27 PM

Lemme guess... sugar.

*clicks link*

Yup!

Tillmaster

2011-12-12 03:36:20 PM

They use the same technique to make seaside rock.
/the British sweet - not basalt.

Bruxellensis

2011-12-12 03:36:34 PM

Who cares?

JackieRabbit

2011-12-12 03:37:02 PM

Candy is dandy, but sex won't rot you teeth. (your crotch, maybe, but you can avoid the nasty girls and boys)

Coffee Snob

2011-12-12 03:38:37 PM

Who the fark dips a candy cane in their coffee?

Shazam999

2011-12-12 03:41:00 PM

Is everyone dead over at fark? Where are the stories?

Shazam999

2011-12-12 03:41:36 PM

Coffee Snob: Who the fark dips a candy cane in their coffee?

Didn't RTFA, but yeah, I've seen people do this.

The All-Powerful Atheismo

2011-12-12 03:43:28 PM

Coffee Snob: Who the fark dips a candy cane in their coffee?

The same people who don't use their turn signal and who say "nookular". Literally, they are all exactly the same. 1:1.

TF2_Pyro

2011-12-12 03:49:14 PM

They need to do way peppermint> who blend their ingredents. becuse these corn starch can't lick back? it was on io9 this mroing a a cook in ar who had blend her three ingredents. they are taking the three ingredents back to factory too boil to rest my corn starch are with the water who lost his sugar ; i am truley hungry for your lots

fappomatic

2011-12-12 03:49:21 PM

Coffee Snob: Who the fark dips a candy cane in their coffee?

People who say they like coffee (but not the flavor) so they turn it into some abomniable concoction guaranteed to jack the blood sugar into the 300 range.

Me? I'm happy avoiding rotten toes in favor of dancing along the thin line of an impending cardiac event.

dittybopper

2011-12-12 03:50:26 PM

TF2_Pyro: They need to do way peppermint> who blend their ingredents. becuse these corn starch can't lick back? it was on io9 this mroing a a cook in ar who had blend her three ingredents. they are taking the three ingredents back to factory too boil to rest my corn starch are with the water who lost his sugar ; i am truley hungry for your lots

Nah, nah, nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah I can't parse this.

Mad Scientist

2011-12-12 03:51:46 PM

paygun

2011-12-12 03:52:57 PM

They need to sell a box that you plug into your TV that just shows every How It's Made episode one after the other in a loop.

BurnShrike

2011-12-12 03:53:35 PM

The standard peppermint candy canes are nasty, vile creations. They taste awful and they're not a good shape for eating without getting your lips sticky and gross.

I'd much rather have a small candy I can put entirely in my mouth to suck rather than a long stick that hangs out and looks silly.

BurnShrike

2011-12-12 03:54:37 PM

paygun: They need to sell a box that you plug into your TV that just shows every How It's Made episode one after the other in a loop.

That would work nicely until they got to the episode where they showed how the box that's plugged into your TV was made. That's like dividing by 0, and your TV would vanish in a puff of smoke.

dotvincent

2011-12-12 03:55:13 PM

Lone Stranger: IN MY PANTS!

I did that to a guy once. Even six hours of surgery and 42 stiches didn't help. He's candy-cane forever now.

paygun

2011-12-12 03:57:29 PM

BurnShrike: I'd much rather have a small candy I can put entirely in my mouth to suck rather than a long stick that hangs out and looks silly.

that's racist

BurnShrike

2011-12-12 03:58:03 PM

Also, I'd like to say that the proper format for this headline is "How is canddy cane form?"

BurnShrike

2011-12-12 04:00:20 PM

paygun: BurnShrike: I'd much rather have a small candy I can put entirely in my mouth to suck rather than a long stick that hangs out and looks silly.

that's racist

Only if your "candy" tastes like peppermint and has a 180° bend at the end.

dittybopper

2011-12-12 04:01:32 PM

How is candy cane formed?

Well, first her stepfather sexually abuses her, then she runs away, she gets hooked on drugs, and ends up with a stripper name like that to support the habit.

James F. Campbell

2011-12-12 04:01:33 PM

Is 4chan down or something? Judging by this thread, Fark seems to be suffering from more idiots than usual.

Harry Freakstorm

2011-12-12 04:06:07 PM

Well, son. When a snow angel and an elf fall in love, they decide they want to have a candy cane. So the snow angel takes off her billowy white garments and the elf takes off his green pants and shirt. But he leaves his pointy shoes on for some reason.

They cuddle and they cuddle and they cuddle. Magic happens and a candy cane is put in to the snow angel's tummy. So the elf and the snow angel get dressed. Then, the snow angel says she's hungry but she doesn't want anything that's in the fridge so the elf has to go through the drive-thu. Maybe that's why he keeps his shoes on, son. A few weeks later, the snow angel starts getting angry about stuff and the elf retreats to his basement to get himself some freaking peace and quiet.

A few months later, they go to the hospital and a beautiful candy cane is born and the snow angel and the elf love the candy cane and they give it the best nutritious foods and they read to it and they cuddle with it though not they same way they cuddle with each other.

And the candy cane gets big and the snow angel thinks it should go to college to be a doctor but the elf really didn't park any cash for that and the colleges only give scholarships to candy canes that can play football nowadays. So the elf tells the candy cane to join the Army and get some free education. But the candy cane moves in to the elf's basement, wrecks the elf's stuff and just plays Xbox all day. The snow angel is busy getting drunk at book clubs and doesn't care what happens to the candy cane anymore.

So on Christmas eve, the elf sneaks down in to the basement, gives the candy cane a loving crack on the skull and sticks him in Santa's Sleigh so Santa can be burdened with something for once. Let's see how jolly he is now. But Santa's a wise man who always used a condom or insisted on a naughty town delivery, so he just passes them to all the little girls and boys in the world.

That's where candy canes come from. Now. Can I tell you the story of the Grinch and how his prostrate grew three sizes in one day?

Sonnuvah

2011-12-12 04:06:56 PM

paygun: They need to sell a box that you plug into your TV that just shows every How It's Made episode one after the other in a loop.

It isn't in loop form but it is streaming on Netflix.

derpdeederp

2011-12-12 04:07:14 PM

Well that was a lot more innocent that I thought it was going to be.

Tyrosine

2011-12-12 04:07:24 PM

Benucio: After watching that video, I still don't understand how they make 'em.

But you are better informed.

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