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(Fark) Sad A few more Headline of the Year nominees that didn't make the cut (fourth quarter)   (fark.com) divider line 9
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posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2011 at 11:59 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-12 08:15:08 AM
Those of you who aren't Totalfarkers missed the the original three contests for September, October, and November, here are some of the headlines that were in those contests that didn't quite make the cut for today's contest. It's not all of them, but these were a few that I enjoyed and I wanted to share them with you.

Note: some of the ones that made it to the quarterfinals thread only made it by literally one vote. If two more of you have voted for some of these, they'd be in the final contest instead of the ones that did made it.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-12 08:15:58 AM
Underendowed Germans increasingly turning to penis enlargement operations. You know who else wanted to be the world's biggest dick?
http://www.fark.com/comments/6587401

Sata elected Zambia's president, having beaten out incumbent IDE and archrival SCSI
http://www.fark.com/comments/6586979

Vatican rejects criticism over sex abuse, argues they were only minor offenses
http://www.fark.com/comments/6535149

Gulf storm expected to dump 20 inches of rain. Female meteorologist says it'll be 6 inches at best
http://www.fark.com/comments/6532435

Actual Headline: "Fat cells may help create healthy bone." Chubby chasers nod in agreement
http://www.fark.com/comments/6527636

It turns out dolphins mourn their dead. Except in no wake zones
http://www.fark.com/comments/6538723

Romulus police officers investigated for corruption. Chairman Koval assures citizens the Tal Shiar will investigate the matter thoroughly
http://www.fark.com/comments/6598090

Man kills hunting partner who ate his dog, that was killed by a monkey, who slept in a room that lay in the house that Jack built
http://www.fark.com/comments/6543159

HTC announces phone aimed at women. It's purple, has a light-up "charm" indicator for calls, and an unusually strong vibrate mode
http://www.fark.com/comments/6583747

Scientists say smoking pot can make it harder to find your way out of a maze. So if you smoke pot, avoid scientists who want to put you in mazes
http://www.fark.com/comments/6675969

Amtrak flasher busted; all abhorred
http://www.fark.com/comments/6684277

Otter bites woman in Thonotosassa. Gynecologists have the strangest names for everything
http://www.fark.com/comments/6671912

One night in Bangkok and the water's flowing / Canals divert the flood into the sea / One night in Bangkok and you'll soon start rowing / Residents are wading, it's up to their knees / It could be six weeks before it all recedes
http://www.fark.com/comments/6667020

1 in 10 babies conceived on Ikea beds? I thought they were famous for missing screws
http://www.fark.com/comments/6622451

Police are hunting a Segway user who witnessed a sex attack. In other news, a Segway user has witnessed sex
http://www.fark.com/comments/6646343

Doctors at Romero General Hospital think that cancer probably killed Steve Jobs, sorry to all of you that had "Rabid wolves" in the pool
http://www.fark.com/comments/6622420

Pope Benedict XVI has invited Jews, Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims to a pilgrimage at the Umbrian hilltop town of Assisi, but refuses to take part in common prayers since nobody else speaks vampire
http://www.fark.com/comments/6677752

Old people today have more sex. Hey, come back, don't you want the rest of your grilled cheese sandwich?
http://www.fark.com/comments/6695500

"Family Circus" cartoonist Bil Keane dead at 89. Funeral procession to pass through schoolyard, neighbor's lawn, baseball diamond, train tracks, and abandoned factory
http://www.fark.com/comments/6718743

Crime novelist says he has uncovered evidence that Jane Austen may have been murdered. Police are now looking for a high-school English student with access to a time machine
http://www.fark.com/comments/6734927

Pollster George Gallup Jr. dead at 81 (margin of error +/- 3 years)
http://www.fark.com/comments/6759005

NASA develops super-black material, can't make up their minds if they want to name it Dolemite or Shaft
http://www.fark.com/comments/6717548

Ohio places 200 pound third-grader in foster care after luring him away from his parents with a trail of gravy
http://www.fark.com/comments/6769497

Asylum seekers drown near Java. C, that's why you make sure your boat is fully compiled
http://www.fark.com/comments/6694334

While shopping at Target, woman struck by shopping cart that two boys pushed off a four-story parking garage. Bullseye
http://www.fark.com/comments/6692632

Rodney King pleads not guilty in DUI case. "Can't we all just get a Long Island Ice Tea?"
http://www.fark.com/comments/6714572
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-12-12 08:26:25 AM
If two more of you have voted for some of these, they'd be in the final contest instead of the ones that did made it.

If two more of us had not listened to your advice to vote for only five...
 
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat
2011-12-12 09:18:12 AM
I'm sad about the Amtrak headline. That was a good one.
 
brigid_fitch [TotalFark]
2011-12-12 12:02:29 PM
I liked the Jane Austen one.

/HS English teacher
//And I like Austen
 
Noekken
2011-12-12 12:19:29 PM
Troubled that the Sata/IDE headline did not score with more of the FARK geeks,


but then we know that FARK geeks don't score very much....
 
EverWatcher
2011-12-12 01:48:14 PM
The "Bullseye" submitter (who was not me) was robbed.
 
schief2 [TotalFark]
2011-12-12 02:43:53 PM
Unfreakable: Actual Headline: "Fat cells may help create healthy bone." Chubby chasers nod in agreement

Gold.
 
Clawhammer [TotalFark]
2011-12-12 07:28:59 PM
schief2: Unfreakable: Actual Headline: "Fat cells may help create healthy bone." Chubby chasers nod in agreement

Gold.

Thank you...Although it was a close but no cigar headline.
They do still give cigars for the winners right?

not a winner
 
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