Indolent: I don't know which is worse. That the guy did that or that he had to do that to get some time off. Where the fark does this guy work?

I don't know, but I assume it isn't the funeral business.

Simpsons did it! (kind of)

But that only works once per employer.

I once worked at a place where a co-worker "had" three grandfathers die.

ArcadianRefugee: I once worked at a place where a co-worker "had" three grandfathers die.

Maybe he had a step-grandfather.

Sounds like something George Costanza would do.

LaughingRadish: ArcadianRefugee: I once worked at a place where a co-worker "had" three grandfathers die.

Maybe he had a step-grandfather.

Or was his own grandfather.

obituary of your mom

O-biatch-uary, amirite?

miss diminutive: LaughingRadish: ArcadianRefugee: I once worked at a place where a co-worker "had" three grandfathers die.

Maybe he had a step-grandfather.

Or was his own grandfather.

If history doesn't care, who are we to judge?

howaboutno.jpg

If you're too pussified to call in and say you're not coming in to work, then that's your problem.

/God, I love the current state of employment opportunities.

//So many pussies to jump ahead of.

Now if it were to get a refund on a non-refundable ticket, we'd understand...

Sounds like a move straight out of my playbook. Although I'd go ahead and create a phony mortuary and funeral cards with dummy phone numbers that go to VM. Bereavement time can be a nice 5-7 day vacation whenever you like, why not take advantage of it?

Cue the "Your mom is so dead that..." jokes.

I once told an employer i had to leave because my sister was in a car wreck. Truth was i had started a competing business with him, and had to go to my shop to take a delivery of materials for a job. The delivery driver gave me a quizzical look when he showed up later at my employers, and i was back there to take his delivery.
I've always felt like a horrible piece of shiat for that. Really, really horrible. Would never consider doing such a thing ever again.

see?

this is why if you need some time off of work, you actually kill an immediate family member. then your excuse is legit.

First "your mom" headline that wasn't a "your mom" headline.

Indolent: I don't know which is worse. That the guy did that or that he had to do that to get some time off. Where the fark does this guy work?

I was almost sure he was one of my co-workers. My grandmother passed away last month, and my employer refused to give me a day off for the funeral. I ended up calling out sick instead.

/going in the office today with a bleeding eardrum
//good times, good times

Henry Blake: The father dying, right?
Klinger: Yes, sir.
Henry Blake: Father dying last year. Mother dying last year. Mother AND father dying. Mother, father, and older sister dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Older sister dying and mother pregnant. Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying. Here's an oldie but a goodie: Half of the family dying, other half pregnant.

Charged with disorederly conduct, are you FARKIN KIDDING ME? Now we gotta spend taxpayer time and money prosecuting this asshole? He's going to get fired and he's got to deal with his mom. I say that's punishment enough without mobilizing the judicial branch.

*disorderly

/stupid sausage fingers

seriously, why didn't he just change the name in the obit, and then tell his employer that that lady he just made up was his mom.

when nobody real is referred to, nobody is gonna notice, and nobody is gonna complain.

sheesh.

Ooba Tooba: I once told an employer i had to leave because my sister was in a car wreck. Truth was i had started a competing business with him, and had to go to my shop to take a delivery of materials for a job. The delivery driver gave me a quizzical look when he showed up later at my employers, and i was back there to take his delivery.
I've always felt like a horrible piece of shiat for that. Really, really horrible. Would never consider doing such a thing ever again.

The real question is what would you do to an employee who pulled the same stunt on you?

Wait, maybe there is a way to make this work: You anonymously put the obituary in, and then you have to take time off to console your mother and to "investigate" who pulled such a malicious stunt.

rnatalie: Pennsylvania Disorderly Conduct is a catchall when they "don't know what else we can charge you with." It's typically a $100 fine and usually pretty easy to fight in court which will be your local magistrate which isn't even a real court (most look more like a middle school classroom than a proper court room).

Pennsylvania Disorderly Conduct sounds like something that should be in the Urban Dictionary.

I did this once for a beloved aunt.

Mr. Right: Ooba Tooba: I once told an employer i had to leave because my sister was in a car wreck. Truth was i had started a competing business with him, and had to go to my shop to take a delivery of materials for a job. The delivery driver gave me a quizzical look when he showed up later at my employers, and i was back there to take his delivery.
I've always felt like a horrible piece of shiat for that. Really, really horrible. Would never consider doing such a thing ever again.

The real question is what would you do to an employee who pulled the same stunt on you?

at this point, pity. Didn't plan to say that, and when it came out of my mouth i instantly felt sick to my stomach. Farking with karma and all that...

Ooba Tooba: Mr. Right: Ooba Tooba: I once told an employer i had to leave because my sister was in a car wreck. Truth was i had started a competing business with him, and had to go to my shop to take a delivery of materials for a job. The delivery driver gave me a quizzical look when he showed up later at my employers, and i was back there to take his delivery.
I've always felt like a horrible piece of shiat for that. Really, really horrible. Would never consider doing such a thing ever again.

The real question is what would you do to an employee who pulled the same stunt on you?

at this point, pity. Didn't plan to say that, and when it came out of my mouth i instantly felt sick to my stomach. Farking with karma and all that...

The reason I ask has nothing to do with the thread. I worked as a consultant for many years and met a lot of bosses, good, bad and downright evil. One that was truly remarkable was a guy who had started a business from scratch and it had grown to a very large business - couple billion in annual sales. He was a true entrepreneur and encouraged people in his employ to be entrepreneurs. There was a true story about one of his VPs having lunch with him one day and the CEO asked the VP what his long term goals were. The young VP allowed as how someday he'd like to start his own business and went into some detail as to the kind of business he thought he'd like to start. He got fired that afternoon - not because he was lacking in loyalty but because the CEO knew he'd never get it started if he didn't have a push. One of the advantages of working for this company was that when you started working there, a fund was established in your name. For hourly employees, a certain dollar amount was put in for every hour worked. For salaried employees, a percentage of your salary was put in. When you left the company, that fund was yours. This VP had been with the company a while and had a fairly nice sum in there and used it as seed money, along with loans, etc. to start the business he wanted to and he became quite successful himself. He had the wisdom to thank his old boss for firing him.

When I had the privilege of working with this CEO, one of the things I admired most was his unwavering support of his employees. It was not easy to get hired into that company. He made sure that he had the best employees he could find and he treated them like they were the best. Naturally, he wanted them to perform well for him. But he viewed his greatest successes as those who left the company to venture on their own and he relished the opportunity to enable their success. You would not have needed to lie to him about going to take a material delivery for your side business, provided you were fulfilling your responsibilities to his company. Lying might have not gone over so well.

We all know bosses to whom one must lie in order to keep your job and, as you pointed out, you might even feel guilty. But my question, completely off topic for this thread, was what kind of boss did you become, assuming you got your business off the ground.

Indolent: I don't know which is worse. That the guy did that or that he had to do that to get some time off. Where the fark does this guy work?

The printing plant that was once considered one of the best places to work in my locale has a very strict attendance policy. People have done this so often that the local newspaper now requires a death certificate before they'll publish an obit.

But you can only get away with that twice at best.

I dont think I could ever use a family members death as an excuse. When I was younger I had to go to Ohio every other month for a funeral one year. Family just keep dying, it was a very bad year.
Only problem I ever had with this was I took a week off to take care of my mom after her foot operation. My boss the tool bag that he is gave me lots of shiat about it. But it was alright when he had to take his mom where ever she needed to go. He would get a call in the middle of the day mention something about his mom and take off. Its good to be the king I guess.

My cousin told his employer that his dad died to get time off work. Imagine his father's surprise when a delivery guy showed up at his house with a beautiful (and expensive) arrangement of flowers with a "Deepest Sympathy" card that read "Sorry to hear about the loss of your Father." A classy move by the company. A dickhead move by my cousin. Farking idiot. I lost all respect for my cousin that day.

The lesson of the story is obviously not to be a dick and man-up about requesting leave but better yet, don't tell your employer that a family member has died (when they didn't) and you still live at home.

I was catching up with a girl from high school once, she told me how she had called her current boyfriend's job twice saying she was his sister and their grandmother had died, so he could leave work and hang out with her.

jestme: Indolent: I don't know which is worse. That the guy did that or that he had to do that to get some time off. Where the fark does this guy work?

The printing plant that was once considered one of the best places to work in my locale has a very strict attendance policy. People have done this so often that the local newspaper now requires a death certificate before they'll publish an obit.

When I read this story I wondered how the hell it happened. I worked at a newspaper about 15 years ago and we required either a death certificate or for the obit to be submitted by the funeral home. I always just assumed that was standard.

AsprinBurn: But you can only get away with that twice at best.

I don't exactly know what you mean by that, because your dad could be the marrying kind and you get a bunch of step moms.

"Yup my mom died."
"This is your fourth mom that has died."
"Well my dad marries quickly."

Also if you get married that multiplies your relatives. I went from having four grandparents to eight when I got married. Down to five now.

"Disorderly Conduct"? How in the hell is this "disorderly conduct"? Sounds to me like it is the very epitome of orderly conduct. It's not like he used the obituary to commit a crime, such as fraudulently collecting on life insurance. With all the real crime going on, I'm appalled that they actually have somebody that has enough free time to go around looking for crap like this as an excuse to drag a person to court.

This charge is akin to NASCAR's catch-all fine-able offense of Actions Detrimental to Stock Car Racing, all the while hoping the fans don't notice other actions detrimental to stock-car racing such as Restrictor plates, the "Lucky Dog" rule, and the entire Chase for the Cup scheme. (Way to devalue 2/3 of the entire season there, France!)They lost me as a fan, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

dittybopper: Wait, maybe there is a way to make this work: You anonymously put the obituary in, and then you have to take time off to console your mother and to "investigate" who pulled such a malicious stunt.

goddamndroogs!: Sounds like something George Costanza would do.

HAMMERTOE: "Disorderly Conduct"? How in the hell is this "disorderly conduct"? Sounds to me like it is the very epitome of orderly conduct. It's not like he used the obituary to commit a crime, such as fraudulently collecting on life insurance. With all the real crime going on, I'm appalled that they actually have somebody that has enough free time to go around looking for crap like this as an excuse to drag a person to court.

This charge is akin to NASCAR's catch-all fine-able offense of Actions Detrimental to Stock Car Racing, all the while hoping the fans don't notice other
actions detrimental to stock-car racing such as Restrictor plates, the "Lucky Dog" rule, and the entire Chase for the Cup scheme. (Way to devalue 2/3 of the entire season there, France!)They lost me as a fan, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Damn NASCAR, faking granny's death since forever.

I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: howaboutno.jpg

If you're too pussified to call in and say you're not coming in to work, then that's your problem.

/God, I love the current state of employment opportunities.

//So many pussies to jump ahead of.

Yeah, companies are going to hire you because of your ballsy ability to call in sick. That's what they look for in an employee, the ability to not show up at work.

Are you farking retarded? Because employers don't look for that, either.

HAMMERTOE: "Disorderly Conduct"? How in the hell is this "disorderly conduct"? Sounds to me like it is the very epitome of orderly conduct. It's not like he used the obituary to commit a crime, such as fraudulently collecting on life insurance. With all the real crime going on, I'm appalled that they actually have somebody that has enough free time to go around looking for crap like this as an excuse to drag a person to court.

This charge is akin to NASCAR's catch-all fine-able offense of Actions Detrimental to Stock Car Racing, all the while hoping the fans don't notice other actions detrimental to stock-car racing such as Restrictor plates, the "Lucky Dog" rule, and the entire Chase for the Cup scheme. (Way to devalue 2/3 of the entire season there, France!)They lost me as a fan, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

I was wondering why my "Calvin Peein' on Stuff, Inc." stock tanked...

My grandmother died sooooo many times in college.