FARK.com: (6802064) A few more Headline of the Year nominees that didn't make the cut (third quarter)

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		A few more Headline of the Year nominees that didn't make the cut (third quarter) (fark.com)		16
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posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2011 at 11:59 AM | Favorite | share:

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Unfreakable

2011-12-09 11:38:48 AM

Those of you who aren't Totalfarkers missed the the original three contests for June, July and August, here are some of the headlines that were in those contests that didn't quite make the cut for today's contest. It's not all of them, but these were a few that I enjoyed and I wanted to share them with you.

Unfreakable

2011-12-09 11:40:41 AM

Ascot ass caught, stole stole
http://www.fark.com/comments/6298576

Jury selection begins in "Cleveland Strangler" case. Challenge is finding people who actually live in Cleveland and don't want to strangle people
http://www.fark.com/comments/6270099

Leonard Stern, co-_________ of Mad Libs, _________ at age 88. He will be ___________
http://www.fark.com/comments/6279624

Pope: Look at the crime of sex abuse in the face. Altar Boy: Eyes are up here
http://www.fark.com/comments/6311446

Cole's Law: Cabbage art, when correctly marketed, can sell for very high prices
http://www.fark.com/comments/6268694

The Taliban in Pakistan splits up, citing creative differences, planned solo albums
http://www.fark.com/comments/6333845

The head count around US nuke plants is soaring. Populations, too
http://www.fark.com/comments/6332757

Angry birds menacing Everett, WA residents. National Guard preparing to deploy pigs and poorly fastened lumber
http://www.fark.com/comments/6285322

Saskatchewan's population reaches record high, according to guy at Statistics Canada who is now counting on both hands
http://www.fark.com/comments/6320045

Can of spray-on tan explodes, injuring six. YO, THE HUMANITY
http://www.fark.com/comments/6360612

Mother accused of microwaving baby has another one in the oven
http://www.fark.com/comments/6386621

Newly found essay by Rosa Parks reveals she was nearly raped in 1931. Historians now confirm it was the first time she refused to give up her seat to a white man
http://www.fark.com/comments/6432748

Man kills flamingos ducks cops. Put commas wherever you like
http://www.fark.com/comments/6430297

Dog stops sexual assault of owner. It must have gotten tired
http://www.fark.com/comments/6420683

Taco Bell to bring Wi-Fi to nearly 6,000 locations. And if anyone knows how to deliver a speedy download, it's Taco Bell
http://www.fark.com/comments/6364266

Two injured in nudist camp water scooter crash. First responders describe being greeted by a horrific scene, but say the actual injuries weren't serious
http://www.fark.com/comments/6416771

Woman tries to feed the birds, ends up feeding the worms. Which, indirectly, feeds the birds. Success
http://www.fark.com/comments/6400255

Legless soldier aims for Mount Kilimanjaro. Now to find someone to pull the trigger on the trebuchet
http://www.fark.com/comments/6356053

Ronald Reagan monument unveiled outside London's US embassy. New statue promptly takes 15-point lead in GOP presidential poll
http://www.fark.com/comments/6358263

Extreme couponers under fire. Seen taking cover behind massive stack of toothpaste and canned eel
http://www.fark.com/comments/6396844

Los Angeles traffic officer terminated for appearing in porn film. Also fired were pizza delivery man, pool boy, three secretaries
http://www.fark.com/comments/6418924

USPS may issue stamp honoring Wilt Chamberlain. Will only be for large packages overnight
http://www.fark.com/comments/6372427

Bank manager charged with stealing $100,000. Bank executives vow to promote her to the fullest extent of the law
http://www.fark.com/comments/6499552

A fire department rescued a girl who was 70 feet up a tree. She is now up for adoption at the local shelter
http://www.fark.com/comments/6470033

Restaurants turn to preparing whole animals. Not like Taco Bell, I mean on purpose
http://www.fark.com/comments/6442077

Indiana stage collapse ends Sugarland concert, killing four and saving thousands
http://www.fark.com/comments/6475488

Heat derails train near Dallas, Texas. This comes only two months after a Dallas locomotive derailed the Heat
http://www.fark.com/comments/6455853

Wing walker inadvertently becomes air dancer - then hole filler
http://www.fark.com/comments/6497381

US grounds its entire stealth fighter fleet, but isn't sure they found them all
http://www.fark.com/comments/6462381

German prostitutes to be taxed by the meter. Luckily subby likes short women
http://www.fark.com/comments/6526923

Woman robs White Castle by crawling through small drive-up window. Cops quickly rule out all regular White Castle customers
http://www.fark.com/comments/6508274

Woman steals $780 of Botox in her face. Suspect is expressionless. Repeat, expressionless
http://www.fark.com/comments/6479927

Online charter schools: At last, combining the social development of home schooling, the educational prowess of public schools, and the solid career path of Phoenix University
http://www.fark.com/comments/6482806

Hundreds evacuated as wildfire in northern Texas causes area to be marginally more scorched, blackened and desolate than usual
http://www.fark.com/comments/6525672

CaptainWes

2011-12-09 12:07:27 PM

Unfreakable for president!

cgraves67

2011-12-09 12:07:55 PM

I really need to get TotalFark to prevent these awesome headlines from being omitted from the contest.

inkblot

2011-12-09 12:12:58 PM

These are the ones that didn't make the cut?

cbackous

2011-12-09 12:14:53 PM

after looking at what made the cut.. I only see 1 or 2 on this list that should have made it.

EliminateNinniesAndTwits

2011-12-09 12:28:54 PM

I would have voted for a couple of these.

MasterThief

2011-12-09 12:35:54 PM

Newly found essay by Rosa Parks reveals she was nearly raped in 1931. Historians now confirm it was the first time she refused to give up her seat to a white man

This one was robbed! Robbed, I tells ya!

HaywoodJablonski

2011-12-09 12:44:52 PM

TFers are proving themselves to have less and less credibility. Some of these are excellent

EqualOpportunityEnslaver

2011-12-09 01:15:20 PM

Rosa Parks made me lawl months ago, and I'm ashamed to admit it just did again.

Balchinian

2011-12-09 01:23:12 PM

HaywoodJablonski: TFers are proving themselves to have less and less credibility. Some of these are excellent

Yeah, I tend to think that for some TFers the "T" actually stands for Troll. I've been in TF a couple times and although it is less prevalent than you might think, the attitude is there nevertheless. Still, the list that did make it for this quarter was infinitely better than the first two quarters combined. So I am hopeful for the final quarter.

GooberMcFly

2011-12-09 02:48:38 PM

cgraves67: I really need to get TotalFark to prevent these awesome headlines from being omitted from the contest.

Merry farking Christmas.

cgraves67

2011-12-09 03:02:30 PM

GooberMcFly: cgraves67: I really need to get TotalFark to prevent these awesome headlines from being omitted from the contest.

Merry farking Christmas.

Thanks!

Sylvia_Bandersnatch

2011-12-09 08:18:13 PM

Loving so many of these. Great work, everybody!

Xenu's Giant Pink Replicock

2011-12-09 09:01:27 PM

I can't decide which I like better. The "You're a terrible person" headline, or "I had to read that one twice." I'll take one of each.

scruffynerfherder

2011-12-09 10:41:06 PM

Some are ok

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