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(Fark) Spiffy Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest, Round 3: June through August   (fark.com) divider line 71
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posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2011 at 12:00 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:25:33 AM
Hello and welcome to the next thread for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2011. We've collected the best headlines from each month and let the Totalfarkers vote on their favorites. These are the 10 best headlines from June, July and August from this year as voted.

Now it's up to you: vote on your favorites, and the top five from this contest will make it to the final round next week. The last quarterly thread will be Monday, and next week we'll also have separate contests for each the subtabs: sports, showbiz, geek, politics and business. The week after that will have the voting threads for pun/wordplay headlines and the Context headline of the year (where the headline isn't funny on its own but is awesome in relation to the linked article).

There are also some that you might not see here because either: 1) they've been moved to a separate contest, or 2) they didn't make it out of the voting threads in Totalfark. I'll link the redlit TF voting threads later on in this thread.

Please don't enable voting; the finalists for this period are set. Nothing wrong with sharing a favorite headline from this period, as long as you don't enable voting for it.

So enjoy these and vote for the ones you like.
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:26:04 AM
Study: Child dies in portable pool every five days. Well, get him out of there for Christ's sake

http://www.fark.com/comments/6311695
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:26:17 AM
A drunk woman ran into her ex yesterday. Then she backed up and ran into him again. She misses him sometimes

http://www.fark.com/comments/6305895
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:26:34 AM
From the early 1900's until 1974, Michigan sterilized over 3,000 of its citizens. Why they stopped is still unclear

http://www.fark.com/comments/6327702
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:26:50 AM
Cumming man shoots woman in face and neck

http://www.fark.com/comments/6280855
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:27:10 AM
40,000 bottles of a schizophrenia medication recalled by Johnson & Johnson & Johnson & Johnson

http://www.fark.com/comments/6328688
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:27:26 AM
Four guys rob Five Guys; turns out three of the four guys worked at Five Guys and now each need one guy to convince twelve other guys not to lock them up with 500 other guys

http://www.fark.com/comments/6345232
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:27:44 AM
Ohio considers boosting alcohol limit of beer to 18 percent, thereby helping citizens cope with reality of living in Ohio

http://www.fark.com/comments/6263548
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:27:58 AM
Epileptic girl reunited with missing dog, seizes the moment

http://www.fark.com/comments/6314499
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:28:31 AM
Man kills himself after 10 failed attempts. Friends and family cite his 'never say die' attitude

http://www.fark.com/comments/6271936
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:28:48 AM
Fox Lake claims another victim after their boat failed to remain fair & balanced

http://www.fark.com/comments/6321842
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:29:03 AM
Chinese toddler who fell 10 stories wakes from coma and opens eyes, but not too much

http://www.fark.com/comments/6376530
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:29:21 AM
Miss Brazil robbed at gunpoint. It was a clean snatch

http://www.fark.com/comments/6355255
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:29:39 AM
Tumor undergoes surgery to have a Chavez removed from around it

http://www.fark.com/comments/6345810
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:30:00 AM
Gay Pakistani Muslim poet dead at 64 after a long battle with irony

http://www.fark.com/comments/6415088
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:30:14 AM
Experts say children account for 40 percent of all fireworks injuries, suggest parents remember that kids blow up so fast these days

http://www.fark.com/comments/6350116
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:30:32 AM
Tropical storm Calvin gaining strength off Mexico's west coast, may soon transmogrify into a hurricane. Or a herd of snowmen. Or a T Rex flying a jet fighter

http://www.fark.com/comments/6366457
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:30:50 AM
Young Russian women are being urged to shed their clothes as a way of a) doesn't matter b) doesn't matter c) doesn't matter or d) all of the above

http://www.fark.com/comments/6395500
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:31:07 AM
Woman fatally shot in New Jersey identified as Orange resident. Redundant?

http://www.fark.com/comments/6407414
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:31:22 AM
"Panties Across the Bridge" campaign raises awareness for cervical cancer by stringing panties across the length of a Cincinnati bridge. Unfortunately with it being Cincinnati's population, it only took eight pairs

http://www.fark.com/comments/6395382
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:31:51 AM
Casey Anthony's relatives insist they do not know where she is. Will probably report her missing after 31 days

http://www.fark.com/comments/6398376
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:32:09 AM
Dog helps rape victim. Ehh, I might have worded that wrong

http://www.fark.com/comments/6459968
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:32:24 AM
Paul Meier, father of the randomized clinical trial, dies. There will be two funerals, and neither mourners nor clergy will know which coffin contains his body

http://www.fark.com/comments/6484543
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:32:41 AM
MSNBC considering giving Al Sharpton his own show. Biologists wait with bated breath, saying it would be the first time a parasite ever became a host

http://www.fark.com/comments/6449490
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:32:58 AM
Drowning ends breath-holding contest. Yeah, that would do it

http://www.fark.com/comments/6506467
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:33:41 AM
Man speaks about shark bite. And I quote: "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"

http://www.fark.com/comments/6479305
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:34:01 AM
"Half of hospitals buy back-door drugs, new survey shows". They're called "suppositories", a*sholes

http://www.fark.com/comments/6512620
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:34:19 AM
Research shows kids improve reading by reading to dogs -- especially K-9

http://www.fark.com/comments/6468107
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:34:34 AM
China's now got/first world cred/they're working migrants/'till they're dead/Burma Slaves

http://www.fark.com/comments/6504206
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:34:51 AM
What's the new rage in protesting, if you're a monk in China? Why, setting yourself on fire, of course. It's been done before. But monk he see, monk he do

http://www.fark.com/comments/6478585
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:35:09 AM
"Van man in the can who ran down man he thought he fought." He did not fight him in a box; he did not fight him wearing socks. He did not fight him in the air; he did not fight him anywhere

http://www.fark.com/comments/6450110
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:36:14 AM
For those of you enjoying this one, the one from Monday is here, and here's the one from Wednesday (and voting is still open on the Wednesday thread as I write this).

Don't forget to check back. Next week will be the fourth quarter of 2011 and the subtab contests for you.
 
GooberMcFly [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:46:31 AM
Neat! There's two of mine up there.
 
cman [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 11:52:54 AM
I'll never be that funny.
 
violentsalvation [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 12:05:24 PM
Finally get to vote for:

MSNBC considering giving Al Sharpton his own show. Biologists wait with bated breath, saying it would be the first time a parasite ever became a host
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 12:07:11 PM
I'm finally someone!!! Woot!
 
Banned on the Run
2011-12-09 12:07:53 PM
Great bunch here. voted for 5-6 first 2 rounds, 12 this time
 
Misch [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 12:09:47 PM
I think we mailed it in this summer. At least compared to the first two quarters.
 
cmunic8r99 [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 12:11:29 PM
Dammit, i love this site so much.
 
PizzaJedi81
2011-12-09 12:17:42 PM
Headline of the Year candidate: Tropical storm Calvin gaining strength off Mexico's west coast, may soon transmogrify into a hurricane. Or a herd of snowmen. Or a T Rex flying a jet fighter

http://www.fark.com/comments/6366457

This one tickled me because I'm re-reading my books for maybe the millions time, and my 6 year old daughter just picked up one and said she liked it
 
myok
2011-12-09 12:25:02 PM
Wicked ice burns a-plenty in this list.
 
jennyz
2011-12-09 12:25:32 PM
Headline of the Year candidate: "Van man in the can who ran down man he thought he fought." He did not fight him in a box; he did not fight him wearing socks. He did not fight him in the air; he did not fight him anywhere

http://www.fark.com/comments/6450110

Damn, subby... damn!
 
rprygro
2011-12-09 12:28:55 PM
Wow, I'm a bit buzzed or this bunch is especially good. Let's go with both!
 
Langston [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 12:37:20 PM
This group is outstanding.
 
PinkyFloyd
2011-12-09 12:43:15 PM
I lolled at "Brazil thief" and "Chinese toddler" makes me chuckle every time.
 
broomballwilson
2011-12-09 12:44:37 PM
this is the best group so far, easily
 
gtfan92 [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 12:45:05 PM
This might be the best set so far this year.
 
ecmoRandomNumbers [TotalFark]
2011-12-09 12:49:18 PM
Almost all of these are awesome.
 
Crewmannumber6
2011-12-09 01:07:16 PM
As usual I only vote for bad puns
 
I like waffles
2011-12-09 01:36:02 PM
Am I the only one who thinks this group is sub-par? Then again, it's the weekend before finals week, so nothing is funny to me now. I'll have to look at these again when the finals are done.
 
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