That's no way for a man to die. A parachute not opening... that's the way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.

That's weird because I saw this thing on animal planet where the dude threw in a dead cattle carcass and it was devoured in a short amount of time. Then he went SWIMMING in a pool infested and they didnt attack because he was alive.

TrancePI: That's weird because I saw this thing on animal planet where the dude threw in a dead cattle carcass and it was devoured in a short amount of time. Then he went SWIMMING in a pool infested and they didnt attack because he was alive.

I've swum with piranha as well. No one thought twice about it. We had also fishing for them just a short time before the swimming. This story makes little sense to me unless he cut himself first and was bleeding profusely.

Real pansies kill themselves with Round-Up.

I wasn't actually TRYING to kill myself but I'd like to say that if you're looking to go in a way that will leave you adrenal till the lights go off, jumping from one moving car to another will probably serve both purposes.

If you're looking to go without landing a friend in jail, I can give you a first-hand guarantee that an over-powered custom 750 two stroke coming down Pike's Peak has almost as much pucker factor...

/Piranhas? Meh.
//If things work in this world like they do in cartoons or in James Bond films, I've got a few other things I need to do first...

I'm not looking to kill myself either, but in a moment of depressed amusement, I designed an 8 ft tall machine designed to slowly cleave off my own arms and then use them to strangle myself as I bleed out.

First of all, I don't condone suicide especially for healthy 18 year olds. However, if you're gonna go -might as well feel it.

Then again, if I could chose my own death...

I'm guessing this:

Wasn't 3-D enough for him....

/There is a LOT of eye-candy GISing that movie

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel: Real pansies kill themselves with Round-Up.

.I see. Well, of course, this is just the sort blinkered philistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage.... You sit there on your loathsome spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling artist. You excrement,... you whining hypocritical toadies with your colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic secret handshakes. You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards. Well I wouldn't become a Freemason now if you went down on your lousy stinking knees and begged me!!!!

/what were we talking about?

In rebuttal:

1. My knees do not stink. They just happen to be very close to my foreskin.

2. I am not on the membership committee.

3. I have not balled a black bastard in over two years.

Men who attempt to commit suicide in the USA are four times more likely to succeed than women, despite being less numerous in the attempt, because men tend to use guns and women pills or other slower methods that dispose to second thoughts.

See? Guns really do kill people.

Flintstone vitamins, not so much.

It's a case of the right tool for the job. Try becoming a mass murderer with a flimsy KFC spork and see where that gets you (do they still give you sporks? It's been a long time since I've seen KFC cutlery).

Seeing as the man was drunk, I prefer to refrain from judgment of his motives. I would return a cause of death of "accidental death" if I were a coroner or a jury.

Piranhas are not nearly as vicious as they are portrayed in the movies. They won't bother you much if they aren't hungry (I've seen guys stick their hands in a tank of piranha without a nibble) and if they do attack there isn't likely to be enough of them to strip your flesh as quickly or efficiently as you see in horror movies. Some of their relations in the Amazon region are vegetarian (those are bigger and shinier--they are often kept as pets and sometimes turn up in freshwater in the USA or Canada because some twits dump them when they become too big for their tank).

It is a distinctly unpleasant way to die, though, even if only a couple of Piranha find you, because it is slow and painful, often involving bleeding to death or drowning.