Me Lay, You Lay?

He's Honest and Funny.

LOLBUTTS!!!

Hey, at least she knows what she's getting into up front. Guys tend to act all "Oh hay I'm normal" and then whip out the "OMFG SECRET BUTT FETISH" when they least expect it.

Me? I'm straight up - "I love eating out and foreplay, long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, dancing, and staying out late. If you don't like to give head and get wild, tell me now and I'll walk away." You would be surprised at the reactions I get.

/Mostly things like "Holy shiat that's the most honest thing I've ever heard"
//Not going to lie, a few times I've been slapped after saying that
///Honesty IS STILL the best policy

That was pretty funny. I just saw liveleak and was like, Oh jeebus, What am I gonna have to witness this time? and yet I clicked anyways

Professor_Falken:
Me? I'm straight up - "I love eating out and foreplay, long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, dancing, and staying out late. If you don't like to give head and get wild, tell me now and I'll walk away." You would be surprised at the reactions I get.


I was at that PTA meeting. I don't think I have ever seen so many cops before.

(NSFW)Link (new window)

Relevant.

OK, for whatever reason, that was legitimately funny.

Ass is the new boobs.

Oh_Enough_Already: Ass is the new boobs.

Actually it is hypothesized that the reason human females have engorged breasts is to attract males. Male mammals that walk on all fours (like humans once did) almost always greet females sniffing her hind quarters. The idea is that the female human's breasts are an evolutionary reproduction of the shape of the buttocks.

I just scratch the boys and then hold my hand under her nose!

A guy I used to work with just walked up to girls in bars and said "Whatayasay you and me go out in the parking lot and f*ck?"

He ALWAYS got slapped 9 times out of 10.

/The 10^th one thought he was funny and let him split the uprights.
//True story--we WISHED we had the guts to be that brazen.

quoinguy: A guy I used to work with just walked up to girls in bars and said "Whatayasay you and me go out in the parking lot and f*ck?"

He ALWAYS got slapped 9 times out of 10.

/The 10th one thought he was funny and let him split the uprights.
//True story--we WISHED we had the guts to be that brazen.

That joke is older than I am.

And you had to ruin it that quickly? Not everyone is carrying an AARP card.

Hohlraum: Oh_Enough_Already: Ass is the new boobs.

Actually it is hypothesized that the reason human females have engorged breasts is to attract males. Male mammals that walk on all fours (like humans once did) almost always greet females sniffing her hind quarters. The idea is that the female human's breasts are an evolutionary reproduction of the shape of the buttocks.

Eh....It's more about the fact that more food = sexy time to inhibit breeding. Larger curves are a result of more food.

Caluth: (NSFW)Link (new window)

Relevant.

Oh holy crap! I'd managed to completely forget about that guy for the past 20something years, and now my adolescence just came crashing back!

scrotal_aroma: I just scratch the boys and then hold my hand under her nose!



Your name makes this statement all the more weird.
Do you touch butts while listening to Arcade Fire?

Video is funny. Headline doesn't seem to capture what the video was about.

wait, am i to understand there are people who don't like touching butts?

/nice ones, anyway--i understand about the pimply ones

Professor_Falken: Oh hay I'm norma

PROTIP: Normal guys like things most women think are weird. If they knew half the shiat normal guys were thinking about at any given point in time they'd almost all be lesbians.

/ also, the dichotomy of the music and the exaggerated sound of the train was oddly disconcerting
// also, there's a relevant dilbert comic strip for that involving a two-headed psychic, but I don't care enough to find a link to it

Got more laughs out of me than anything else on here in probably a month... and NO idea why.

Tis the season...

ordinarysteve: That was pretty funny. I just saw liveleak and was like, Oh jeebus, What am I gonna have to witness this time? and yet I clicked anyways

Your mom witnesses some BUTT TOUCHIN'.

If the chick don't laugh at 'butt-touchin' we aren't compatible anyway.

"Oh. Mi scuzzi."

Obligatory (new window)

I call bullshiat. The 6 train is never that empty.