I don't understand why people think she's hot. The woman never smiles and her face looks like she's constipated most of the time.

And millions of atheists' justifications have just gone void...

I'm praying for her boobs too but I haven't gotten them.

Good to know she had her priorities right even as a kid.

Humean_Nature: I get now: the classic problem of how god can be all powerful, all knowing, and all loving at the same time! He's a dude, and he uses his powers for boobies.

/what if god was one of us....

Don't be silly. There would not be any alcohol then.

Never forget, God loves a whore. He approved of his son shacking up with one for a while after all.

She's very attractive, and in their bra cups, her breasts are very shapely.

But what do they look like uncovered? Are they symmetrical? Are her aureoles small or big? Are her nipples long or just little niblets? What do her tan lines look like?

I'm certainly not complaining about these glamour shots being posted. But really, anyone can look good with the right lighting and photoshop. A real beauty can be photographed nude and still be stunning.

I may be wrong, but I've never seen naked pics of Ms. Hayek.

Not a bookmark at all...

Ennuipoet: JerseyTim: This changes everything. I can no longer call myself an atheist.

I once was lost, but now I am found. I once was blind, but now I see.

I, too, have found the love of Christ! I repent the error of my Godless ways! All I was seeking was a miracle...and let's face it...those are miraculous boobies!


My parents are going to be so happy.

Yeah, Fark is going to lose a lot of athiests in this thread.

So how does this work, anyway? I know I need somebody to "witness" me, but I'm not sure what it is they're supposed to witness me doing.

Wow, Like water into Milk.

AverageAmericanGuy: She's very attractive, and in their bra cups, her breasts are very shapely.

But what do they look like uncovered? Are they symmetrical? Are her aureoles small or big? Are her nipples long or just little niblets? What do her tan lines look like?

I'm certainly not complaining about these glamour shots being posted. But really, anyone can look good with the right lighting and photoshop. A real beauty can be photographed nude and still be stunning.

I may be wrong, but I've never seen naked pics of Ms. Hayek.

Look harder. She flashed them a couple of times in 'Frida.'

Humean_Nature: gunga galunga: So how does this work, anyway? I know I need somebody to "witness" me, but I'm not sure what it is they're supposed to witness me doing.

I have a hard time following all the rules, but I think if you smash a newt's eyeball with a hammer and smear the juices across a baby's forehead, Jesus will give you half a pound of tuna.

Or something.

Really?

Well, it makes as much sense as celebrating the ressurection of the savior by hiding colored eggs.

You know, that's a coincidence because I, too, put my hands on holy water at church and prayed "Please, Jesus, give me Salma Hayek's boobs"...

Nothing so far..

AverageAmericanGuy: She's very attractive, and in their bra cups, her breasts are very shapely.

But what do they look like uncovered? Are they symmetrical? Are her aureoles small or big? Are her nipples long or just little niblets? What do her tan lines look like?

I'm certainly not complaining about these glamour shots being posted. But really, anyone can look good with the right lighting and photoshop. A real beauty can be photographed nude and still be stunning.

I may be wrong, but I've never seen naked pics of Ms. Hayek.

She does have a couple fleeting topless scenes. I'd GIS for caps but at work.

But seeing them in brief, shadowy glimpes isn't really enough to judge.

I'd have to taste them to be sure.

Smeggy Smurf: Never forget, God loves a whore. He approved of his son shacking up with one for a while after all.

He loves the pimps even more.

22Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door, and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.

23And the man, the master of the house, went out unto them, and said unto them, Nay, my brethren, nay, I pray you, do not so wickedly; seeing that this man is come into mine house, do not this folly.

24Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.

25But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.
Judges 19

/god's pimp hand is strong

AverageAmericanGuy
But what do they look like uncovered? [..]
I may be wrong, but I've never seen naked pics of Ms. Hayek.

A quick Google search and the following screenshots indicate that the movies "Desperado", "Frida" and "Ask the Dust" (all links NSFW) might be relevant to your interests.

/only seen Desperado

Apos: An NC-17 flick with Salma Hayek titled Kitty Soft Porn,please!

/Darren Aronofsky,make this happen!
//Throw in Sofia Vergara for good measure.

If there is a man-god, this will happen.

And it will be a silent film.

Aaaaaaaamen. Aaaaaaaaamen. AaaaaaAmen, aaamen, aaamen.

The Voice of Doom: AverageAmericanGuy
But what do they look like uncovered? [..]
I may be wrong, but I've never seen naked pics of Ms. Hayek.

A quick Google search and the following screenshots indicate that the movies "Desperado", "Frida" and "Ask the Dust" (all links NSFW) might be relevant to your interests.

/only seen Desperado

Yeah, those are fine, I guess. But really, they are poorly lit and it's hard to make anything out.

I just don't expect that there are any high quality photos of Salma Hayek nude. Nope, no expectation at all.

I guess this makes up for the Inquisition.

mcmnky: AverageAmericanGuy: She's very attractive, and in their bra cups, her breasts are very shapely.

But what do they look like uncovered? Are they symmetrical? Are her aureoles small or big? Are her nipples long or just little niblets? What do her tan lines look like?

I'm certainly not complaining about these glamour shots being posted. But really, anyone can look good with the right lighting and photoshop. A real beauty can be photographed nude and still be stunning.

I may be wrong, but I've never seen naked pics of Ms. Hayek.

She does have a couple fleeting topless scenes. I'd GIS for caps but at work.

But seeing them in brief, shadowy glimpes isn't really enough to judge.

I'd have to taste them to be sure.

I'm thinking we set up a double-blind taste test.

Boob Thread!

BIE, EIP please from some generous awesome farkette.


Love ya thanks

If my plastic surgeon was named Jesus I'd expect miracles too

Ima_Lurker: A real beauty can be photographed nude and still be stunning.

I won't argue with that....

mentallo69: Boob Thread!

BIE, EIP please from some generous awesome farkette.


Love ya thanks

This

Pretty sure if you delcare this a BIE/EIP thread then it won't happen.

/EiP
//you know, in case I'm wrong

This is so much more persuasive than the Rick Perry ad.

HopScotchNSoda: [farm5.static.flickr.com image 500x339]

Came to post exactly this.